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Girlfriend Threatening [Problem fading away - Page 4]

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Guest this_gyrl_lily

I didn't read much yet but I don't go on the comp much to begin with, so all I'd like to say is that I hope the condition of your family gets better and that for you TO REALIZE that you DESERVE better. Man, dump her and marry me! haha jk but you seem like a really nice guy, don't let her use you like that. =P

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Guest tian`tian

Ahhhhhh

I couldn't read through your latest long replies to everyone!!

Anyways, my thoughts on this.

Honestly, at her age, acting like this, really makes me think that she is a selfish self involved girl who doesn't think or care about anything/anyone else except herself.

GET RID OF HER.

She, at 22, should be more understanding of life in general. Your family situation, your money situation, HER OWN LIFE AND GOALS besides working at a KFC, etc. She should honestly be ashamed that she depends on you for money and support. And if she does, then at least be thankful for it! The way that she treated that laptop was beyond careless and shows that she doesn't cherish the things that you give her.

I can't believe that she's even asking for MORE stuff even though you explained your situation to her. She really has unreasonable expectations.

And the whole "she wasn't like this before" deal. I had a friend who was like that too, then she just changed into a label loving, materialistic person. It just happens. And I don't think it's likely that they change back. It may partially be your fault too for indulging her with her every want and need in the beginning as well though...something to keep in mind for your future? haha.

Best of luck with this!

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First biggest fight? Probably when I didn't tell her why I wasn't going to see her to spend time with her rather than spending time with my brother... when I tell after, it always gets her mad so I've changed and I always tell things first... That's about it... Other fights were jealousy... When she thinks some girls are flirting me and that I flirt back...

Ah, so she probably thought of many scenarios such as you not telling her to spend time a girl, etc. She probably lost trust and felt anger. However, that anger probably piled with many other future fights you two had. And suddenly, she just changed.

Thinks some girls are flirting with you? There has to be a reason for that of course. Past history, online life, real life, etc. Do you flirt back or is she just assuming?

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Guest milk_shake

it's not your job to support her. You guys aren't even married yet, imagine what would happen when ur married to her =/

If your girlfriend really loves you, she should understand your situation. She's not in need of money, you are. If she can't even understand that, i don't think she actually loves you that much. A year isn't that long, i think you should think twice before continuing on with this relationship =S

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Guest xstarsunx

things cant be taken back just by saying "i was kidding", lol what if i told her "YOU'RE THE UGLIEST GIRL ON THE

ENTIRE FACE OF THE EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!" then later said "oh i was just kidding.." she would still be angry at me! she

really needs to learn not to do that. i used to do that to my boyfriend all the time, saying words just because i

was angry and just to hurt him. but i learned that is very immature and just makes the situation worse!

helping your mom is not a bad excuse at all, just because she doesnt have a good relationship with her mother i guess

she doesnt understand why you have to help your mom.

i think she might be getting tired of you..or she is just showing her true self..most girls act all nice and perfect

when they first start out in a relationship..then as they get more comfortable, they start showing the true side.

how far away are u from her? because my advice is try to talk to her in person if you can. because on the phone,

you risk her getting angry and hanging up on you and not listening to you, the other thing is, a lot of times, things

are misunderstood on the phone, she might take things the wrong way and get angry. i find that when couples talk in

person, their words have more impact than if it were just said over the phone. but if you cannot see her in person..

then be prepared for her to be angry and hang up on u..and say hurtful things to u.

another thing is, i think you spoiled her from the beginning haha. so now she EXPECTS you to spoil her, and when you dont,

she gets angry. hey at least you learn not to spoil girls so much from now on :P.

one last thing... i know a lot of people on this forum said " JUST BREAK UP WITH HER!! DONT BE WITH HER!!" i would have said the same thing to you a year ago. but i really did mature a lot about relationships and i feel that just because someone is doing something wrong in the relationship..doesnt mean u instantly have to end it...relationship is all about working together and giving them a chance to change. nobody is perfect. so, talk to her about her faults, assure her u still love her, and u are giving her a chance to change for the better. if she is not going to, then it is time to break up.

do update us when you get a chance to talk to her about all this. so many things need to be fixed in this relationship..

it is going to be a battle! i hope you are prepared..

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Guest secretwishess

Yeah riqht now she has become a qold diqqer... I still can't understand why she's so suddenly like this... out of nowhere for 2 months... like what's happeninq?... Anyway it's time to slam the hammer and talk all straiqht and teach her the riqht way in a relation like this... She does have a job now from my help (part time) but she would need a 2nd one... She's currently with a minimum waqe... She qot that job 2 months aqo as well...

Her excuse for not beinq "kind" or "polite" to ask about how thinqs qo by my side and family, it's "Sorry I'm so tired, stress, etc" blah blah... My family was even kind enouqh to accept her but what the hell... Before all this, she used to care...

I'll be prepared... for any options I have to take... I'll update later... Thanks thouqh, kind words! :) And what happened to your letter G?

TO BE CONTINUED...

OH.. so she cared? mmm i see. Wells.. i quess you can say " people chanqe " ?

& as i can see you have many people tellinq you the same stuff over&over aqains.

so no need for me to say more.You seem like a nice quy so dont worry

about it. Goodluck on everythinq& i hope you&yooo family

will be ohkaaays. &&& the letter " G " dont look as qood as " Q " : )

Like when i replace a " G " to a " Q " it looks better. - - - wells ... to me atlest. LOL!

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Guest Jikki

Oh Gawd.

You keep saying she wasn't like this before; it's obviously because you've never run into financial troubles before.

She probably always had a constant stream of gifts from you and didn't even have to ask for anything because you gladly gave her everything before she could ask.

Drop dat ho and replacing your "g"s with "q" will only make people like me want to rip my eyebrows out.

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Guest machii

she treats you so bad.. like getting mad at you because she couldn't figure out how to fix the electricity problem.. seriously. she blames EVERYTHING on you doesn't she?! *sigh*..

i'll be waiting for your updates. but i think the "angry her" is the real her :mellow:

this really needs to end!

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Guest lollipopsicles

nothing but a common gold digging ho

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Update:

I knew there was something wrong with her...

We weren't supposed to have a talk because we were busy... But I wrote a long text to her and she told me to call her and she was crying hard... So we talked... Apparently, I've always thought she was the only one "pointing her weapon" at me (threatening)... but I was also unconsciously pointing my weapons at her... She said I was threatening her too... I didn't know what she was talking about at first... But I gotta admit, I did... My threatening was that if she never finds some times in her schedules to spend some times with her, I'd stop supporting her because I don't feel like she cares about me (since she often chose to do many things in priority first before me, updating status to the world on facebook before replying my text message 10 hours later, etc stuff like that)... ... I've been relying too much on her to make myself reduce stress and all because she was always the one who made me feel good/happy... And then she felt pressured and angry somehow when I was stressed myself and wanted to rely on her too much to help me take my stress out and feel better, but instead, I was spreading the stress on her... and then it went on circles... Recycling... Little details from her disappointed me... she started to threaten me in return and make herself look like a bad materialistic girl while she saw me as an a-hole... She did that as a payback... "You push me, I push you" (but psychologically of course)... We had our own visions...

Anyway, I took something out of my routines for months and it's something important that I shouldn't have taken out and my girlfriend agreed... The Meditation. When I was single or at the beginning of our relation until September, I used to meditate after exercising/fighting/working out... I had to, it's a must for me, it's part of me, otherwise I turn "psycho" (not to the point of beating up people randomly ¬¬)... Lately, I haven't been doing that... so... I felt a little better after last night's meditation but I was sleepy so I'll do that again tonight before bed... At least once or twice a week... I don't like it when random people mock about my meditation (if I forgot to meditate, gotta be careful because I tend to twist their wrist quick and kick the back of their knee and push them down to the ground)... :P I was trained in CSIS paramilitary trainings and I've witnessed a lot of death and felt responsible of many casualties so somehow I mastered the meditation in order to feel pacifist... And I can't get it out of my routine even when I'm in the society... I grew up with that... "Knowing how to breath". I need it and I can't believe I forgot about it for months only to rely on my girlfriend...

Anyhow, she agreed to never discuss about money (until we live together) and we should make more space for each other to breath... We'll keep going like that, conserving our love for each other... She admits she's feeling more better (because she doesn't wanna feel pressured, otherwise she seeks to get spoiled materially), same here, I feel much better... and I can sense she's more positive nowadays... We'll find out if nothing will get worse...

So far, the one who seems right is strangely sparkerly... (I know, I'm surprised)

Wait let me re-announce it again...

"And the winner of who guesses this the best is... spaaarkeeerlyyyy!" *Applause*

Ok that was random...

Ah, so she probably thought of many scenarios such as you not telling her to spend time a girl, etc. She probably lost trust and felt anger. However, that anger probably piled with many other future fights you two had. And suddenly, she just changed.

Thinks some girls are flirting with you? There has to be a reason for that of course. Past history, online life, real life, etc. Do you flirt back or is she just assuming?

What you said earlier (about how I might have hurt her and then she acts like this against me) was the right guess after all... But it was not about making wrong scenarios like me cheating or flirting... But it was about how she felt controlled (or more like pressured) when I told her I'd support her financially if she would rather spend time with me so we could see each others face, hear, etc... Spending time on that rather than going to gym, going to get a new haircut, shopping, etc... Respecting the job time (including finding 2nd job), school time and homework time only... So she felt she has no freedom which is why she started to threaten me in return... So it turned out to be like an ugly situation... Two bad people biting each others tongues to blood... :P But now we agreed to have some space... No more of all that... She's happier and so am I... We still go on with our plans... But no more tough situation... No more "Where's my money hmm?!"

My bad... I'm also the evil one... :P

At least, a big discussion is always important when there's a huge misunderstanding of what's going on... It puts the broken pieces of puzzles back together and we learn to find a way not to make those pieces break apart all over again...

oh yea. now i remember what i had to tell you

YOU WRITE LIKE A BOOK! hahaha.

Thanks for your text... But things have been settled now... :) So far so good...

I can write like a machine yes hehe...

*This message was beautifully taken*

Thanks for you words! :D She promised she will give things in return and I don't need to send anything from now on haha only occasionally... There was just some misunderstandings...

Big anger I must say... :P

I didn't read much yet but I don't go on the comp much to begin with, so all I'd like to say is that I hope the condition of your family gets better and that for you TO REALIZE that you DESERVE better. Man, dump her and marry me! haha jk but you seem like a really nice guy, don't let her use you like that. =P

First time I met her, I thought she was just going for my look... xD But she was so kind and admitted that she likes both my personality and look haha... I found her normal... But then things made her look more beautiful from the inside, and I realize it makes her outside look more beautiful... I liked her because of her persistence of learning things so well and so focused... Now wonder ---> She's even one of the top students who always have A+ or 100%... She cared and remembered things soooo freaking well about me... I get charmed by that... :P I like it and I'm always interested in the person who shows she's also very interested in me and care about me... Also because she's so open mind and so am I, so we fit... Not afraid to speak of anything...

If my result was to dump her right away impatiently, I'd be all the way with my 2nd girlfriend 24/7 like a loser... B) Call of richard simmons-bags Modem Warfare 1 and 2 on PS3 yeaaah!

But from what happened through our big conversation, I couldn't make that decision just yet... I felt at fault...

@ tian`tian

She appreciated my gifts a lot... very much... But lately about money, she didn't return any appreciation at all... It's like as if money still didn't make her happy... It's like as if she didn't care... And the reason why, she finally spoke out and explained when we let it all out in the big conversation... Money wasn't what she wanted from me the most... She wanted me to stop behaving badly so she was just seeking for a vengeance rather than speaking it out on me that I've done a bad thing. And threatening for money was her way... Now things have been solved... (For now)... Ahh we were both evil, like I said haha... More freedom! :D

@ milk_shake

She understood it all along but she was just acting like a *Insert Coins Here And Press Start!* - - - -

Now she sends all respect to mom and family, without of course having me to remind her about it... She just mentioned about it out of nowhere after our big discussion... All that from just how I treated her like she felt restrained... ¬¬

She said we don't even need to mention about money from now on since things have been solved...

things cant be taken back just by saying "i was kidding", lol what if i told her "YOU'RE THE UGLIEST GIRL ON THE

ENTIRE FACE OF THE EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!" then later said "oh i was just kidding.." she would still be angry at me! she

really needs to learn not to do that. i used to do that to my boyfriend all the time, saying words just because i

was angry and just to hurt him. but i learned that is very immature and just makes the situation worse!

helping your mom is not a bad excuse at all, just because she doesnt have a good relationship with her mother i guess

she doesnt understand why you have to help your mom.

i think she might be getting tired of you..or she is just showing her true self..most girls act all nice and perfect

when they first start out in a relationship..then as they get more comfortable, they start showing the true side.

how far away are u from her? because my advice is try to talk to her in person if you can. because on the phone,

you risk her getting angry and hanging up on you and not listening to you, the other thing is, a lot of times, things

are misunderstood on the phone, she might take things the wrong way and get angry. i find that when couples talk in

person, their words have more impact than if it were just said over the phone. but if you cannot see her in person..

then be prepared for her to be angry and hang up on u..and say hurtful things to u.

another thing is, i think you spoiled her from the beginning haha. so now she EXPECTS you to spoil her, and when you dont,

she gets angry. hey at least you learn not to spoil girls so much from now on :P.

one last thing... i know a lot of people on this forum said " JUST BREAK UP WITH HER!! DONT BE WITH HER!!" i would have said the same thing to you a year ago. but i really did mature a lot about relationships and i feel that just because someone is doing something wrong in the relationship..doesnt mean u instantly have to end it...relationship is all about working together and giving them a chance to change. nobody is perfect. so, talk to her about her faults, assure her u still love her, and u are giving her a chance to change for the better. if she is not going to, then it is time to break up.

do update us when you get a chance to talk to her about all this. so many things need to be fixed in this relationship..

it is going to be a battle! i hope you are prepared..

She turned crazy... and from turning crazy, she looked like a materialistic girl... She still has my money and all, didn't spend on them, proofs were shown (I gained access to her bank). I could take them back whenever I want or just let it there if I trust her for future... But anyway we're both calmed down now... Isn't it weird? Behind all that, all these times, it was just because I was unconsciously doing something bad without her even saying so... She's supposed to be open-minded to correct me there... So this means maybe in a way, she does have percentage of wanting to have money... but then again, who doesn't want money haha... Well she's cool with it and understanding now... Plus her job has more works and all...

Imagine a horror movie where I was the one asking for help about this relation, showing how bad my girlfriend is and then all people helped me because I looked down but all these times I was the evil one and I turn into a werewolf and eat everyone... *evil*

Just kidding just kidding... xD It could look like that, except I return sympathy, apology and I learn or find a way to prevent the same bad things reoccurring all over again... :P My girlfriend returned the same after the huge discussion...

I was so prepared for any negative response leading to a break up!!! Haha! I had my PS3 ready for new games! HEHE!

Thanks for everything!

@ secretwishess

That was a momentarily changed by force... A long vengeance, a long anger, a long grudge...

Unnecessary... but she has learned her mistakes and so do I...

Thanks for your time and words! Oh and for explaining why the heck you use Q instead of G... I thought your G key was broken... Well, I'll stick to the common style of writing haha...

Oh Gawd.

You keep saying she wasn't like this before; it's obviously because you've never run into financial troubles before.

She probably always had a constant stream of gifts from you and didn't even have to ask for anything because you gladly gave her everything before she could ask.

Drop dat ho and replacing your "g"s with "q" will only make people like me want to rip my eyebrows out.

I have a saving (backup purpose) enough to buy another new car... But that saving is untouchable from my own rules. I've set myself a strict rules that I would only reach for those money when completely dying of desperation. That's a similar mentality like as if 50K was nonexistent. Did I sound desperate there? Perhaps I'm a great "actor through writing" (which anyone can be). Notice I did not cry over my money damage (perhaps only for a joke). I just want things to be solved between me and my girlfriend. I make it sound like I'm through a hard condition because my savings haven't gone up and I was forced to borrow money off my savings. It's better than digging myself into a real debt. Get what I mean? My 1st job is created by myself, tell me, is that easy? Or would you rather go find a job and have a superior above you? I'm my own boss, team leader, founder, CEO off a start and I'm aged 22, that first job is targeting the public and now because of recession, people lose their big jobs and it affects us as we have less contact. I have side projects currently being built in order to NOT WORRY ANYMORE about financial in the future... Business and marketing targeting stable subjects (I won't mention what they are, sensitive case). I keep expanding and expanding. I lose money just so that I could regain more and my plans are always smoothly positive. No lost at the end. I have some brains to find a way to be rich and there's always a start to everything. Some of my money might be gone but I don't care. I want things to work out in a good way financially and I can control the situations before things get any worse. "Financial trouble"? Perhaps not as bad as those who are in REAL debts.

And you were wrong about her thought, pal. Nice try.

But props that you were right it was because of me, in a way.

@ machii

Updates are here... Things just had to calm down... :)

nothing but a common gold digging ho

She acted like one... and to her eyes, I acted like an a-hole...

I don't care if I'm seen as an a-hole to random people but to my girlfriend, she could have told me rather than acting like one to "punish" me back.

Case solved... for now...

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So far, the one who seems right is strangely sparkerly... (I know, I'm surprised)

What you said earlier (about how I might have hurt her and then she acts like this against me) was the right guess after all... But it was not about making wrong scenarios like me cheating or flirting... But it was about how she felt controlled (or more like pressured) when I told her I'd support her financially if she would rather spend time with me so we could see each others face, hear, etc... Spending time on that rather than going to gym, going to get a new haircut, shopping, etc... Respecting the job time (including finding 2nd job), school time and homework time only... So she felt she has no freedom which is why she started to threaten me in return... So it turned out to be like an ugly situation... Two bad people biting each others tongues to blood... :P But now we agreed to have some space... No more of all that... She's happier and so am I... We still go on with our plans... But no more tough situation... No more "Where's my money hmm?!"

My bad... I'm also the evil one... :P

At least, a big discussion is always important when there's a huge misunderstanding of what's going on... It puts the broken pieces of puzzles back together and we learn to find a way not to make those pieces break apart all over again...

wait, why are you surprised? haha [although, i'm surprised too]

but her way of being angry is actually new...and strange to me ~

however, besides that...I'm quite similar to her.

I'm glad your disputes became much clearer :)

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Guest

maybe it's time to let go. Your S.O should be the special person you can accept with all ur heart, with you being able to rant about her proves she isn't ideally ur soul mate. Family always comes first, so she has no rights to be so mad. She seems to be very petty with money, YOUR money.

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Guest Lily.

just stick with your second gf.. she'll never leave you :)

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Guest dso

man

either you were really an a$s whipe and was like you have to make me happy look i'm sending you money wtf why aren't you making me happy? and so she took the revenge

or she's like hmm i guess i pushed him too far i will apologize and tell a story that will make him think it was also partially his fault. which is totally ingenius if this is the case because you bought it hook line and sinker

anyway either case good luck

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Unexpected update:

My girlfriend is somehow still expecting my support... so there's still a possibility for a break up if she doesn't "change path"...

I'm still trying to put sense into her... But now I keep my distance and I'm cautious while I'm doing all that... She has to accept it and not think I don't love her if I don't support her all the time. It's like she wants a perfect boyfriend, at any time, at any moment. I totally watch myself out as well to make sure I'm not threatening and that my things make sense. If she brings up that excuse again, then perhaps:

just stick with your second gf.. she'll never leave you :)

Yesssssssssssssssssss...

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Guest iitzjesss

break up with her...it sounds like you're not happy...if you're constantly updating this thread with things like how she still doesn't change...it's time to move on man

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Guest sikfahn

1. She's a gold digger.

2. She sounds like she's just conning all of your money. Seriously who knows how many other guys she's doing this to. You're not actually physically with her.

3. You're prob the only guy willing to do all this stuff for her and from what ice read she isn't doing mini cooper back for you. A relationship takes two people for it to work.

4. She not only doesn't care about your financial troubles and still demands money from you. What kid of gf who cares about you does that.

5. Seriously IMO. She's probably still with you cuz you're giving her money and she hasn't been able to find another

guy who does that for her. If she does you'll prob be out of her life in a heartbeat.

6. Just dump her. I think you wasted enough time and money on her. She expects you to give her money to save? Like seriously. She's threatening to dump you any second. She's just using you as a bank account.

7. You deserve better.

8. Her actions are really pissing me off. If you're going through so much she should at least care for you instead of blaming everything on you and finding ways of revenge. Btw I think that was just some bs.

9. She has no control of who your friends are. She's just trying to get you away from girls so you can't find one that can actually treat you better.

10. You've done so much for her and she isn't even thankful for any of it. You spoiled her too much.

Anyways. I think you should just get your money back and find someone that really cares about you and not your money.

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Guest machii

Unexpected update:

My girlfriend is somehow still expecting my support... so there's still a possibility for a break up if she doesn't "change path"...

I'm still trying to put sense into her... But now I keep my distance and I'm cautious while I'm doing all that... She has to accept it and not think I don't love her if I don't support her all the time. It's like she wants a perfect boyfriend, at any time, at any moment. I totally watch myself out as well to make sure I'm not threatening and that my things make sense. If she brings up that excuse again, then perhaps:

Yesssssssssssssssssss...

WOW i can't believe she's still expecting you to give her money.. seriously COD MW2 FTW.. i'm still stuck in the 19th century playing counter strike 1.6 ):

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Guest aubrei

if this is the type of girl you want to spend the rest of your life with, then good luck.

however, in your defense, ill have to say long distance is very hard, and with time, it erodes a lot of trust and feelings of security.

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Guest meiming8_1

wow, so even after you talked through this with her, she's STILL expecting support!? Be careful...I wouldn't necessarily trust what she told you when you talked. She might be trying to make you feel bad so you don't break up with her, and then continue to support her. Be careful...

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