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Girlfriend Threatening [Problem fading away - Page 4]

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heres my advice..by the way i'm a girl, so i kind of know how it is. ive known girls like her.

you say you guys are extremely open with each other, then you NEEEEEEEEED to tell her that she canNOT be threatening you all the time saying shes gonna go find a richer guy, it doesnt make the situation ANY better,

tell her that it hurts YOU, ask her how she would feel if you said you were gonna go find a rich girl..

i know how girls can get when they are in a bad mood, they will just say ANYTHING hurtful and not think about it

because her judgement is clouded by negativity, its ok for her to be in a bad mood sometimes, we all have bad days, but its NOT ok for her to be saying whatever hurtful things she wants just because shes in a bad mood..that is not an excuse!

another thing is it seems she is just depending only on you for financial things. have you ever thought that she just might be using you for money? yes she might still have a bit of love for you inside of her but it might mostly be the money, she wants you to do this and do that, but has she done anything for you?

its not ok to lose friends because of a jealous girlfriend. unless your friends are a BAD influence. i've been

through this with my boyfriend, i did tell him not to hang out with some of his friends, BUT only because they

were gang bangers, drug dealers. she obviously is VERY insecure about herself if she is blocking people on your

MSN.

i'm going to be brutally honest with you, but she seems to be bullying you, and you're just letting her! i understand that you love her and want her to be in a good place, but that doesn't mean letting her walk all over you. you HAVE to set boundaries in relationships, thats something that i've learned from my relationships. i used to be really selfish until i met my current bf who set me straight. but anyway, back to you. as i was saying you really really need to put your foot down when it comes to relationships or else the girl will see you are a push-over and keep doing it over and over. i know it will be very very hard for you to set boundaries but that is something that you really need to do..i keep saying this because it is SOOOOOO important.

"My girlfriend said she wants to marry early and she doesn't wanna have a husband "who can't pay rent""

^that right there is a big red warning sign that says "STOP! DONT BE WITH THIS GIRL!" she wants to marry early so

she can be a house wife who spends all the husbands money..she needs/wants someone to depend on. i can almost

guarantee this, that if you ever ran out of money to pay for rent or pay for whatever she wants, she will LEAVE YOU when she finds someone else to pay for her stuff!

its not a good thing on your part to say things like you will spoil her later, that just gets her hopes up, and she will just stick to you even more for the money because you promised to spoil her. and when you dont spoil her, she will be angry with you, and say that you told her you would, blah blah blah, and threaten to find a new guy.

from what you are saying, she is just a baby. and you are totally babying her. please dont baby her. she is an adult,

she needs to take full responsibility for her own being and financial situations, its nice that you can help her

out a little, but she needs to learn to be independent. tell her your mom is a big responsibility for you, i mean,

your mom did give birth to you!

my final opinion is, STAND YOUR GROUND. when you are talking to her, keep that sentence in your mind. she is going to try to bully you, but remember not to let her. its kind of like a kid and a mom in a candy store. the kid wants candy, but the mom says no, so the kid starts moaning groaning, crying and crying. the mom has no choice but to get the kid some candy just to make the kid stop crying. so eventually the kid learns that this method will work

whenever he/she wants something. the mom needs to set the kid straight. just like you need to set your girlfriend straight. not to be mean but your girlfriend is really really selfish. i used to be like her. whatever i wanted, i needed to have. but i eventually matured, and grew up. i'm 21 by the way. and your girlfriend is 22 already, she really needs to grow up.

you have to tell her that what she is doing is not right for the relationship, she is putting more stress on you, when clearly you are already very stressed about your mom. you work so hard just to please her, but she keeps wanting more more more. if u do not tell her, things will never get better, just worse. assure her that you are not criticizing her in any way when you are telling her these things, just expressing your opinion, ask her to please see things from your point of view. tell her that you love her very much and want to work all these things out, because no relationship is perfect from the start, ask her if she is willing to be patient, tell her it will not be easy to work everything out, but if she really loves you she will try. if shes not willing to work it out with you, then i beg you, dont waste your time with her. even though you love her very much, if shes not willing to be patient and be understanding now, then she never will be, and you'll just end up feeling even more miserable. sometimes love is just not enough for a relationship. you really have to know when to let go of someone, because there ARE better girls out there. of course if you guys do end the relationship, you will feel so miserable at first, but time heals wounds, you'll feel better in no time. and when you find a girl who actually understands and helps you in your situations, you will feel on top of the world.

props to you if you read the whole thing lol, i wrote like an essay..now i'm feeling kinda hungry :P

dude, you sound like a really good boyfriend, you dont need to be with someone that treats you like crap. i would kill to have a bf that bought me whatever i wanted. hey. wanna be my boyfriend? HAHAH i'm totaly kidding. i hope that at least made you smile? anyways, good luck. if you need any more advice/help just PM me :P

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she's a golddigger for sure..You deserve much better and before you break up (sorry) take back the laptop! that's what I'll do if I were in your position!

Well, he can't because she already broke it. LOL.

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Ughhh. Reading your posts, I wanted to rip my john teshing hair out. Lol.

This girl is nuts. First, she takes and hoards all your money into some mysterious account she is supposedly raking up for future interests. Then she gets self-righteously angry that you will discontinue sending her money(because of your mom's accident, without insurance, and an expensive court case ensues), even though, your gf is capable of injecting her own money into her own account? And you pay for her cosmetics, gym, laptop, plane tickets? WTF?

Everyone's advice will prove you nothing useful unless you really want things to change. I personally hate people who have no right taking other people's hard earned money, especially infantile, bratty little spigots like your girlfriend (sorry). The other part that grates on my nerves is people who don't do mini cooper to improve their unfortunate situation. They're real cowards in that respect, because they use other people as shields from the reality of taking the responsibility into making the necessary changes in their lives. You would think that living with her supposedly 'psychotic' mother, she would have had some burning desire to get a job on her own and moved out somewhere already.

Now, with that said:

You're not doing anyone any favors by being altruistic. Patience towards your girlfriend is not the right reaction you should have - intolerance, is. When you're making gentle accuses about "rewarding her later" it doesn't teach her to be independent/responsible. In fact, by transferring money to her account, you're enabling her into living a life of comfort. Not luxury comfort, but the comfort in the sense you're her eternal working horse and she doesn't need to ever work in a day in her life. Solution? Stop sending her money. No need to explain, forget the baby, move on. Stop sending her money.

As for that whole threat to pursue other boyfriends... What's going to happen to all the money you sent to her? Is she going to return it back? And Ohhh, let her complete her dare. I doubt she would get too far. The other guys are probably in the same situation as you are - or will be eventually - once she drains all their money out of their pockets. And if she does manage to snag some dumb mini cooperhole, is it worth marrying her after what she's put you through? After comparing and threatening the livelihood of your poor mom? The real victim here is your mom, who needs the most of your financial assistance right now.

And since I'm currently in a bad situation at the moment, I asked her if my gift could be costless as well... And she was mad angry with threatening again.

Do you think giving her any more gifts during a crucial time like now is wise? And a gift doesn't need to be expensive to be rich in meaning. Your girlfriend values the opposite of that - a gift that cheapens the sentiment of the heart. And... I'm sure she'll survive the goddamn universe with or without the aid of expensive presents. :rolleyes: Geez, if you were my boyfriend, you still having a job would be a godsend gift enough.

My girlfriend said she wants to marry early and she doesn't wanna have a husband "who can't pay rent" (that's what she said to me when she was angry). I said to her that I could easily pay rent and everything IF we were together... I could even drive her to work or school everyday and pick her up. ... I told her that I can't spoil her too much but I promised that later I will, reward for patience, once I'm in better condition! We're close enough that her bro, my family, etc all know her enough.

Um, what about her? What kind of a man would want to have a wife who can't pay rent? ;) I could never ever be with someone who would lavish me in such an obsequious way... ugh. Isn't being together, working hard towards a future together enough? It makes me very sad that you're promising her so much emptiness and that she seeks so much emptiness in her life.

Anyway, cheers to you and I hope you sort your mess out. Remember, it's so much easier to just cut back on things than moping around trying to find nicer ways into solving problems.

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um hello . do you even need to ask us. tell her to drop that bullsh*t or you will drop her. seriously who she is think she is? i bet you she used all the money you sent to her already. gosh i hate people like that. sure she doesnt like her mom. MOVE OUT. GET A BETTER JOB. I dont know how pretty she is to you. please dont tell me she got a good heart because if she does she would understadn ur situation, ur mom's problem.

ps with the age of 22 she can find a better job then kfc. its that she doesnt want to do because she just want to sit her a$$ at home and use ur money. please realized what she is doing to you and stop it.

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My best advice to you: break up with her and find someone new. It seems as though she takes you for granted and only think for herself. When she thinks that it's the best for you, she only has herself in mind. I'm sure there are other girls out there, who are locals, who will treat you 100% better then she will. I know it's easier said then done, but like someone mentioned, that in the long run it will only benefit you. As you have noticed, it seems as though she's stressing you out. Also to mention that she's threatening you, saying if you can't do as she please then she's going to find someone better. How are you dealing with that unfaithful girlfriend of yours? If she has the gut to threaten you, I'm sure she has the gut to cheat! If that's the case then why are you prolonging the situation? You have other things in your life that you have to take care of, as first priority and it seems as though she doesn't understand. Even though she's 22 but it seems as though she's very immature for her age. Asking you for money and constantly threatening you if she can't get her way. They say that girls mature at a faster pace then guys do, but not in this case. I suggest you break up with her and find someone who can treat you the same way that you treat them.

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if a woman supports herself, you treat her as your equal in everyway. cuz she doesnt need you,

if she needs your support, if u are her life line, than she belongs to you. you are the one who gives her life, who sustains her. therefore she does belong to you, she gives u respect and obeys what you say in a reasonable limit. and through this, you will need her, she will make ur life easier cuz she will do things for you, and thus u will need her, and there is a trade. u give her stuff, food, shelter, she gives u everything else.

if you support her, and she acts like the boss.... you know that is a disfunctional relationship.

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honestly, you seem like a really nice guy that every girl would wish for. why would waste your times on someone who doesn't show any appreciation? O_O make your life more easier for yourself!!! you don't deserve alll of this. she seems like taking advantage of you.

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you sound like my dad with his girlfriend.

they 'loved' each other and he gave her like 10k a month.

eventually we dug ourselves a nice little hole of debt to wallow in.

then when he stopped giving her money to test her love, she went apemini cooper and beat him up.

and then called the police and filed charges against him.

save yourself the drama and just end it. it's long distance. she doesn't love you, she loves your money.

sorry.

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reading this, i have to really say,

either you like being used or you're just an idiot.

it's uncalled for, i know, but really, be a man and put your foot down.

so what if your second job was meant for spending money for her?

you're a a rut right now, and if she isn't understanding about it, she's a money loving wench.

toss her back under the rock you found her, because she ain't worth it buddy.

i don't care how 'nice' she was at first and how 'awesome' her smiles and laughters are,

you need to realize that she is the person you're 'planning' on spending your life with,

this is what you're going to have to deal with til death do you part

she's not even your wife and she's already showing her true colors, scary.

i'm 23, and i'm very independant about myself.

i live with my bf and he offers to pay for everything in our lives,

but i refuse, why?

because i want to be able to stand on my own two feet.

i'm not a baby who needs caring and support, i'm a woman who works for mine.

if she needs money, tell her to get a job, duh.

how does she expect to get through life living off someone else?

if you do marry her, get a prenump, you're gona need it.

i don't want to say anything bad about her and her future mooching off someone else,

but when she marries and gets divorced, she's gona be dead broke and on her richard simmons.

...maybe it's good if she sticks with you if you have no intent of ditching the leech.

that way, her future will be secured, at least money wise.

hope you take care of your mother first before that baby you call a girl

family will always be family, and they should always be first in your book.

she's not family yet, so i would come to the conclusion your mother is more important.

this is morals you should teach your children, certain curcumstances don't apply, but should always be considered.

if *inthedistantfuture* my sons put a girl before me, i would most likely disown him for future generations to come.

just advice, like you asked.

if you didn't get my advice, it's 'dump the money grubbin ho'

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I agree with what everyone has said here so far. SHE'S USING YOU!! It doesn't matter if she's angry or not, her behavior is unacceptable! I know you love her and stuff, but the one suffering here is YOU! And stop thinking about how she used to be at the start of your relationship, the important thing is how she is NOW. And like someone said before right now she's probably starting to show her true self. You guys have only been dating for 9 months, but can you imagine what she'll be like in the future if you guys are still going out? Seriously people like her really richard simmons me off, sorry to say but you're way to nice too be with someone like her.

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WOW. I'd die for a bf like you. You're nothing, but supportive. I don't want to call her a gold digger b/c I don't know her.. but I'm pretty sure she's using you. You're the one who's trying to help her, so I don't think she's in the position to get mad at you when you are unable to help her anymore. She's 22. She's old enough to realize that maybe she should get a job or two to support HERSELF and maybe help out with your mom's medical payments. Although you can't provide for everyone you want, you're trying your best, unlike your gf. Ask yourself, do you really want to be with a girl who is always dependent on you and won't share any burden or stress?

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she might be interested in some other guy already~ That's why she desperately needs the money, cuz she's seeing someone else and needs to lok her best. They wouldnt wanna date her if they know she's like that~ But it doesnt't matter, you should dump her anyways~ She sound like this girl I know (chubby, impatient, bad relationship with mom, wants to be independent but can't so she totally relys on her bf) >_> she was hecka annoying and her previous bfs were all just soooo pityful.

Point is: move on. You can't change her, especially when she lives sooo far away. The only reason why this relationship is kinda working cuz you guys dont see each other. She got character problems and being patient alone isn't enough is fix it. And yes, you might be jealous when she gets a new bf, but think about what her bf has to deal with? The attitude, the disrespect, the anger management problems, the "OMG GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!", her family crisis, I feel sry for all the boys that that girl I know had been with.

She got lucky to have you and you don't even know it. lol She's not going to apperciate you so just break up already, she'll be just fine, trust me. She don't really need your help, you're a just a tool, she got plenty more.

You, on the other hand, needs to wisen up. Get your self-estem back together. There are difinately better local girls, staying with yr current one is like an insult to all those local girls. omg.. n I can't believe she made you block your friends X_X

Btw, I hope your mother gets better soon. If I were you, I will fully expect my gf to contribute a little something to my family. Doesn't have to be money, it can be a card or even an email, but it shows me that she does wants to be apart of and involve with my life.

Good luck. The girl that you described got me so fustrated lolol~

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What the john tesh? Are you blind?! Either that or you are weak. She is obviously a golddigger. Let her go, she doesn't deserve your love and money. Seriously you're embarrassing yourself. You sound like her slave...

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Here on Soompi any problem a soompier has and asks for advice, most will say: Break up with the person. No matter how big or small the problem is..it's always "break up with them" :rolleyes:

But this time I think it's reasonable to say BREAK UP WITH HER

shes a selfish, demanding, spoiled money sucker. whats with all those threats? so childish.

you deserve better; stop letting her use you

btw, isn't the money for her to move elsewhere? she hasn't moved out yet and shes still demanding money monthly? Did you ask her what she's using it for if it's not for her new place???

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Wow.. sorry to say . . . but she seems like she is qold diqqinq you.

Like for real. You qot her so many stuff& shes till complanninq? Please.

& like she could always find a job . . if she needs so many stuff. I mean

what kinda qirlfriend will be mad at you when your tryinq so hard to support

her&Your own family. & thats your mom too. I mean if she atlest ask how she doinq

than its like she cares alittle. But accordinq to waht you say, she didnt even ask how is

she.

Your beinq too nice to her. & you deserve better. Just let her qo. She just want your money& everythinq.

she is so demandinq too.

T-T One side love dont work out.

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Took me all kind of time from my days to reply haha...

Update: Had a talk with her very late last night and she said she was "kidding" with all her threatening and that I should go to sleep... I went to sleep since I was too tired and she had to do her homework (as she just got back from work)... I told her please find some time in her schedules so we could talk on the phone... We'll see the rest from there... But before sleep, her room's electricity went off and I told her to check everywhere for the metallic box that has all the switches... I told her all the places where we most likely find it... I know how it works so I thought of telling her what to check and what to switch... But she doesn't see anything (I don't even know where she went to look at) and she yelled at me to hurry up and help her... wtf... like as if I'm a psychic through the phone or some kind of GPS... "Walk downstairs and turn left... on the next stop, turn right... You have arrived..."... I told her to go sleep instead and do her homework early morning and ask her mom to find someone to fix it because they're all sleeping right now... She said ok she'll go sleep and I should too and there... Discussion ended suddenly without a good night like before... Hah... I can't wait to have a big talk with her.

Dear machii

I was thinking the same... This is why I'm very cautious now, telling her about it and by the time, see how she's taking it...

I had that in my past relations with one of my ex but I was like what... 15? HAHAHA! She was no good... My girlfriend knows about that ex because I told her, before we became bf/gf... She knows I really don't like it...

I already told her I don't like it when she puts things on facebook like we're obviously fighting and fighting... When I wrote example, "love you" out of nowhere on her wall, nothing happens... and when we had a fight, she just puts negative comments on my "love you"... I told you about all that and so far, she has learned it except her status... She still keeps posting whatever that makes her angry... her status is updated like over 5 times a day... ¬¬ I update mine just like what, 3 times a month? haha! Anyway... On facebook, she accused me of liking sexy girls haha what a bad excuse for being suddenly materialistic... she doesn't even say that directly at me... It's like going out and yelling at everyone... I don't give any comment to that. Since I'm open minded myself, I did tell her long ago that I like sexy girls but love cute girls, before we even became bf/gf... She thinks I'm a playboy type even when I'm faithfully with her... wtf... :( Might be one of her "angry words"... Her kind of insults at me when she's mad...

Yes, we'll find more moments to talk on the phone for a huge discussion... meanwhile, we're both very busy... But it's worth spending time here to discuss about it with some people here... :D I appreciate everyone's time for this thread... I'm also very thankful to see some of my friends appearing in here for me too! Haven't even seen them in a while hahaha they got out of nowhere and hit my thread... xD friendship instincts...

To WhiteRabbitsTime

I know it's not about law stuff... I was supporting her because I love her and also because I like to feel helpful and useful but like I said, I gave her enough cookies and I've set a limit... I might be useful but I'm not a robot or slave.

She gave me reasons (or excuses) like how she couldn't go find a job because her mom always forces her to babysit the babies... You know how I helped her find a job? Online with google earth... weird eh? I looked at any place near her school or her house and got their number and had her to contact them and I told her what to say and all. I've given more tips on searching a job online at home if she's ever stuck there again.

I said so first time I knew she broke it... I said I was disappointed at how she was not careful with my stuff especially when it's coming from someone important. She said sorry tons of time and I apologized but I didn't buy her another haha!

Her gift was made of cardboard and I managed to keep it intact with odor still there... so when I heard about the laptop having a broken screen, I was very disappointed...

-> xstarsunx

Haha I already told her all that... But instead of saying "Imagine how it would be like if I say I'm gonna go find a rich girl instead", I said something like "It's like as if I say I'll go find a better girl who's in a better situation"... She only went "blah..." and we always end the day like that... I hope she keeps thinking about it because I mean it... Today, she said she was sorry and that she was kidding...!? Way to be joking around... bad joke! Especially when she doesn't say good night anymore, she ends up with a hurtful sentence before leaving instead... She almost did that again just now but she just went like "Ok I'll go" and there, over... No more soft talk like before or at least a good night... I'm curious how she will be like a bit later on... I hope she'll get better... If not, it would be better to end this...

Exactly!!! That's what I told her! I'm very hurt by what she says! I told her that expressing anger is normal, having few small dispute in a love relation once in a while is normal but saying such thing is way over the limit! I realize when she's angry, she likes to put a giant impact like a big hammer into her words, like as if it was intentionally meant to hurt feelings! Doing that on me, I kept telling her this is just something that will make our relation worse... She said sorry she was just angry (today few minutes ago)...

Yeah she's depending on me but I helped her to find a job and all, how it works, my tips on finding jobs and interviews... 1st job was really really with my help... her 2nd job (still looking), I let her find it herself as she already knows how I've done it for her...

She has helped me with my project starts... I've put her name in it and all, until she broke laptops twice... and my project works for her is meant to be done on computers... Her help was nice though... but the pace didn't last long at all... In fact, very short... She said she'll continue helping me on this work a lot once she'll have ANOTHER laptop or once (if ever) we live together... Maaan... :(

Yeaaah she blocked a bunch of female friends only though, on msn... No guys were blocked... I did the same for her MSN but only two guys... compared to over 30 girls she blocked haha... One guy was her ex as he was still talking to her... The other guy was a rich older man (well... "old" as in around 27-28 where he's already in a good fair position to have a lot of money with his job, plus his family is all in Korea so he's alone and wow freedom and fast savings! I've been there haha!)

So yeah she said like " ahhh I broke my bf's new laptop again in just few weeks! I think it's unforgivable : ( " and that older guy was like... "well tell him to buy you another one"... Wow that guy is PRO! *Sarcasm* I told her that what he said was soooo easy to say (as they are just words) coming from a guy like him. And she went to tell him on facebook that what he said was just so easy to say ¬¬... And he said "well love has no boundaries" and later on, she was in urgent need of help for someone to drive her... (I couldn't, I'm way too far)... That man was living far too but much much more nearer and before, he claimed to be soooo kind and would do anything for his friends... After asking him, he always replied with "but, but but but :-("... and then he was quiet forever... Apparently, that guy was just all talk... bullcrap talker... Wanting to impress and flirt... BLOCKED... xD so yeah, two blocks from me haha...

About financial problem if it ever occurs in the future, I already discussed about it with her and she said she doesn't wanna end up in the streets so she MIGHT go find another man UNLESS we're already living together (because this wouldn't be a problem at all)... ¬¬ But she sounded very pissed when she said that. I'll have a talk about it and try to change her for good cause... I'll put some discipline into her... :P

Yeah I admit it wasn't a good thing that I told her that I'd spoil her later in the future... This should have been kept silent... But it's true that if ever we're engaged or married, naturally (because things have gone well and we're really in love faithfully), a husband would spoil his wife and other way around too hehe... But yeah, it's bad to mention about it to the girl... It puts her into high expectations that could lead into a big disappointment... I'll work on it... :D Marriage is not even close haha! I told her so too... Can't marry too soon, gotta stick with our plans... Marrying early was just something she'd hope for... but she still has to learn... ¬¬ Also, I'm back at cautious mode, ready to face anything...

Yes, I already told her about my mom but she kept saying that it was a bad excuse wtf... and she can't believe how me, bro and dad are all supporting our mom with so much money... I'll tell all that again but waaaay more clearly once we'll have more time for some talk on the phone... I hope it will work out well...

And have a looooooooooong discussion... I hope she won't hang on me out of anger...

She used to be so nice and to me, perfect... but nowadays, yes there are better girls than her but I don't feel comfortable to say that to her "Hey there are better girls out there than you"... That would make her think I might start cheating or something...

Other than that, I agree with what you said! And I'll definitely discuss everything like that with her!

Props? Hehe thanks xD Well I have to read all because your text is directed at me haha! It concerns me... :D

More like... I should thank you for reading all and even for taking your time to write such a long text! Thanks!!! Thanks for taking your time or sacrificing some of your time! Time is precious! I really appreciate it! That made me smile yes hehe...

Boyfriend? I thought you already had a boyfriend from what you mentioned in your text... uh oooooh... :P

But yeah many people didn't understand why I was single (when I was xD)... That's because I'm like a "hidden type"... I could look like any kind of guy but no stranger was trying to know me more... haha! Or maybe I unconsciously never gave them the chance? :P ... I didn't chase after any girl though I've met a lot just like that, nothing more... I met my girlfriend and started to have feelings for her because of her charm of always sticking with me and she kept impressing me with her persistence... She was sweet and all... but I never thought we'd end up being bf/gf until she confessed she likes me a lot... and we got to know each others more... I guess confessions can really really catch my heart... :blush: (although it failed for few girls before but they got out of nowhere like totally unexpected and I didn't even know them much... weird :ph34r: )

Thanks again! HEHE!

Hey hey superwingetjestringetje

Hehe... well, what's given is given... :P I'm not the type to hunt everyone who's gotta give me back all the gifts I gave them... xD But I respect your style... haha! Beside, I know I'll be fine with my projects once it will reach some point. My current main job has independently been started by myself as well (with helps from a team I recruited)... but it relies on clients so because of recession, I earn less than before but always enough for rent, car, extra... I'm also currently creating things and I keep expanding more business parts to be sure to be stable later (that's my current project). So I know I'll be in success because I have nothing to lose... B) High ambition, I got what I need with my creativity... I'm just not at the peak yet... I'm equivalent to students right now haha. "In development"...

Hello SilkInfused

Haha I don't mean to keep going with money and be patient... I mean, stopping all these things (stop sending money as you said) and be patient with her until she changes to being someone good... Her close friends said she was never like this in her past relations... Another clue is that she has learned a lot from me... I've taught her a lot of things like how most bank works, how to get jobs fast, pretty much how everything works because she was always stuck at home to babysit for her mom. So maybe I'll take this opportunity (since it happens suddenly as in, "first time") to teach her and make her understand more how things should go and how bad she looks like right now... If she learns it and accept it, and I take my time to observe if she has improved, then yeah... That would be worth my patience... I know she's a faithful person... Just that right now, she's heading towards a disgusting side... So I'll just have a big talk with her and make her a better person.

Yes that's true that the real victim RIGHT NOW is my mom... I even said so... I said the one in urgent need right now is my mom... But either way now, I won't send her money even if my mom will get better... She will have to learn to stand strong although she kept admitting she's weak. But any weak can become strong anyway. That's my given chance to her to still have me as her boyfriend... Let's see if she can face it... It took 2 months for me to wake up and realize she's about to abuse me nonstop so I just gotta act now before it gets any worse...

Hahaha... well, having a lot of opinions here (and from my friends) makes me feel hyper confident to face her and expect either improvement or break up... She's gotta learn...

I know there are easier path and I've taken that path many times at young age, even abusing that path... Haha... But nowadays I like challenges and I like to be the one who makes impact in a change, improvement, etc of a person... and this is my time to teach her about life with money right now...

Thanks for your time... You're a great girl yourself. B)

Hi l1lvi3tqt

I ask because I couldn't keep everything within my own world to make decisions... I wanna be sure of something first, because who knows, maybe I have missed something... So I feel like I'd need opinions, advices, whatever it takes although they seem similar to what I have already thought to do as possibilities in the first place... But after seeing people's opinion, I know that it can be no longer a possibility, it HAS to be something to be done. So yeah... I'm sooo prepared...

She's pretty... she's 150 pounds from what she said HAHAHA (doesn't seem like it at all from her look, I suppose she exaggerated as hell). She has charmed me... but now I'm disgusted... And I'm taking this chance to see if I could change her and make her improve in her current life, without depending on me.

*Salutes* Fui

I wasn't thinking like that before all these happened... Nowadays, I kept thinking about it as a possibility and I even mentioned about it to her and she kept saying sorry and to not worry... I think the only thing for me to not worry about from now on is once she could do things on her own... I have to make her stand on her own and be able to support herself. I gotta admit, I'll have less stress... Anyway I told her to find a moment to have a huge discussion... She asked "What's wrong?" and I told her to finish her homework and find a moment to talk (most likely during weekend) so yeah. I'll tell her everything how things should work out... and pretty much like what I replied to others...

Thanks!

.....and I thought I was bad. o.O

but um, have you ever made her extremely mad in the past ? Think back to the first biggest fights, whose fault was it?

First biggest fight? Probably when I didn't tell her why I wasn't going to see her to spend time with her rather than spending time with my brother... when I tell after, it always gets her mad so I've changed and I always tell things first... That's about it... Other fights were jealousy... When she thinks some girls are flirting me and that I flirt back...

*Salutes* ajlee613

I believe if she's really like how she kept mentioning in her threats, then she could belong to any rich men... which is sick.

She acts like an angry women like "Where's my money?" kind... So I need to turn the table around now and force her to get rid of her disgusting side and do the right things for her own self or else I'm sorry but I gotta let this relation go... because I'm honestly about to lose the kind of feelings I used to have for her...

honestly, you seem like a really nice guy that every girl would wish for. why would waste your times on someone who doesn't show any appreciation? O_O make your life more easier for yourself!!! you don't deserve alll of this. she seems like taking advantage of you.

That's the compliment I get all the time haha thanks... I'll see how she'll take things once I tell her that I won't send her any money and she has to find a way to do all that by herself. I'll make her learn that...

You know, I seem like a random guy who jokes a lot... that's about it... it probably disgusts some girls hahaha but I gotta admit, I've realized my main attraction is not only from my smile with dimples (xD) but from how I really am... I always warn people that I have some bad sides though... Actually, unlike many guys, I always tell my bad side to others and I let them discover my good side by themselves... Not many tried to discover my good side... They thought what I said makes them think I might be bad in everything... Haha.

x__yekki

Haha well I didn't go THAT far hopefully... I know I had to act before things get worse because this is like a wound that keeps bleeding so I just gotta close the cut. I don't have debt and I hate debts... This is why I have a huge amount in my own savings that are UNTOUCHABLE by anyone. That's my backup in case something goes wrong.

If she cried so much after leaving my city's airport, and she kept saying she misses me and wants to see me and be with me so bad, then I don't think she doesn't love me... I did feel a honest strong feeling... It's just that what she's doing right now has to be corrected ASAP before it gets any worse into her behavior. Otherwise I move on.

Good evening taebins_luver

I like to be seen as supportive, useful, helpful person but I have LIMITS for someone to not abuse me. I'm just being generous... Only selfish people would say that generous people are idiots... I hope you're an exception. I do have limits from my generosity. What she's done has been for two months. After reading everyone's opinions, I've taken some of them. It's time for her to face my limits and I'm prepared for anything to make her see how things should rather be like...

Not too fast... I'll do that after my attempt to tell her what's best to do for both of us and most importantly, for herself. She has to learn to support herself too and there's a limit of having my help. Like I said to others, I have taught her a lot, she has learned a lot... Now is the time to show her how things should work out by her side because it's really not normal (with all opinions going against her including from my real life friends and close friends, none stood by her side)... That's my chance given for her to change... She may just be going to the wrong path so I drag her back to the right place, you know... If she doesn't, then goodbye to her and welcome new girl (pfhaha maybe not that quick to get another girl)...

I'll tell her all that and yes, I WILL take care of my mom in first priority... my willingness said so...

Miss rurutia

Yes... and I'm gonna get it all out on her in the next long conversation we'll have on phone... it should be in the weekend since we're both busy during weekdays. I'll tell her everything how I feel, why I should stop, etc... I'll make her face the right path for her... She has to accept it or else I won't accept her... She has to learn that right path... I believe she can... if not, then disappointing... but opinions here especially from girls (lalala) have given me the hope to find a better person...

How she is NOW has never been how she was before and her close friends said so (those who grew up with her)... I believe it's a NEGATIVE CHANGE on her so I'm giving the chance for her to make a POSITIVE CHANGE and get rid of the bad path she's heading towards to... I'll speak to her, tell her everything, what's right and better, etc. If she doesn't change, I know I'll move on just like as if she's nonexistent in my mind.

*Waves* @ keep-smiling-sunshine

Yes I'm pretty sure she's using me and I should make it stop and put her on the right track before it gets any worse. She can't be permanently like this... I see this as a huge mistake and it should be stopped ASAP... I clearly remember she was just like anyone of you before... hating on gold diggers... but then depression and desperation got her into what she didn't want to be... It's like hulk or a werewolf or something that got possessed... and I should just slap her in the face and yell WAKE UUUP (just an expression) haha...

I told her already that I don't want my wife to be like that... But apparently, we didn't talk sufficiently enough...

There will be sufficient talk coming soon... Meanwhile, I won't send her anything.

I love your words, thanks a lot!

seeeeeeeeeeeeseeeeeeeeeeeeeii with a lot of eeee

Maybe it's her? Haha just kidding... Can't be... Her close friends have been observing her and admitted she has become very strange lately, for the first time... They think she' crazy. They think she should stop and change this sudden strange attitude to become a better girlfriend than this. Now it will all be up to her after a huge talk I'll have with her... It even may or may not be a last talk.

I know I'll never go broke because of her. I have an untouchable bank saving account that I didn't even allow her to see... She wanted to "touch" it and owe it back later... I still didn't accept. And now, I won't even accept to send her my side money... Not anymore... Time for some lessons *takes whip out*.

I know... I used to be tough when single, and even cruel (in feelings and psychologically of course, since physically I still could take on guys in the streets) cruel as in I would let anyone die in front of me and watch them beg for help and maybe "yeaaah I'll help them". Being with her, deep in love, has weaken me up but hopefully I have a limit to not fall too deep. If I were to turn crazy insanely evil, I would help her to stand up and then throw her off down to hell and stare at her like a squashed ant I walked on.

Thanks for hoping my mom to get better! She will! I hope she'll win at the court too... Although the lawyer said it's gonna be very hard since it happened to some few people and about 60% of them lost. True, I asked her if gifts can be done through fun creativity and efforts... She said she'd rather have a leather coat with new shoes as gift. Yet what she sent me was even made of cardboard... ¬¬

What the john tesh? Are you blind?! Either that or you are weak. She is obviously a golddigger. Let her go, she doesn't deserve your love and money. Seriously you're embarrassing yourself. You sound like her slave...

2 months of "generosity and support"... 9 months of good relation (with help and support that aren't money but just gifts from my heart)... Wouldn't it take more than 2 months to be seen as a slave? (She didn't abuse me everyday either... just mentioning about money so often). I knew something suddenly wasn't right... and I have something in mind now and I have told others in here what I'm gonna do. I'll get into the act.

I'm just being kind and supportive because I care and apparently, you don't like that? It's your choice. You're that kind. Overly cautious to sound almost selfish... almost. But I respect your life. Keep up the fun in yourself.

I have my limits... it's not like I keep falling deeper and let myself become a slave. All opinions here just gave me the boost to some of the options I've been thinking about. At least I already thought of doing something about it after those 2 months of changes.

Here on Soompi any problem a soompier has and asks for advice, most will say: Break up with the person. No matter how big or small the problem is..it's always "break up with them" :rolleyes:

But this time I think it's reasonable to say BREAK UP WITH HER

shes a selfish, demanding, spoiled money sucker. whats with all those threats? so childish.

you deserve better; stop letting her use you

btw, isn't the money for her to move elsewhere? she hasn't moved out yet and shes still demanding money monthly? Did you ask her what she's using it for if it's not for her new place???

I know... haha! Soompi style...

Well... breaking up is somewhere in my options... But not first in priority yet because I feel like I still need to talk to her and put her in the right path because she's not being herself... It's like a dark side got on her suddenly... But if it gets stuck in her, then she has totally changed and she will lose me in consequence... I gotta move on... I know I can't take this anymore if it's gonna keep going or going worse...

Yes the money was to move somewhere else and I asked her what the hell is she waiting for... and what she's doing with it... She said it's in her savings and she wants to have more for higher interests... and she said "FYI, I did not touch your money. It's for our future or if I need it when something goes wrong for my rent."...

I asked her to show proof and she asked me to show my bank in return... ¬¬ I didn't make the deal...

Apparently she wants to know how much I have in all my bank accounts.

Wow.. sorry to say . . . but she seems like she is qold diqqinq you.

Like for real. You qot her so many stuff& shes till complanninq? Please.

& like she could always find a job . . if she needs so many stuff. I mean

what kinda qirlfriend will be mad at you when your tryinq so hard to support

her&Your own family. & thats your mom too. I mean if she atlest ask how she doinq

than its like she cares alittle. But accordinq to waht you say, she didnt even ask how is

she.

Your beinq too nice to her. & you deserve better. Just let her qo. She just want your money& everythinq.

she is so demandinq too.

T-T One side love dont work out.

Yeah riqht now she has become a qold diqqer... I still can't understand why she's so suddenly like this... out of nowhere for 2 months... like what's happeninq?... Anyway it's time to slam the hammer and talk all straiqht and teach her the riqht way in a relation like this... She does have a job now from my help (part time) but she would need a 2nd one... She's currently with a minimum waqe... She qot that job 2 months aqo as well...

Her excuse for not beinq "kind" or "polite" to ask about how thinqs qo by my side and family, it's "Sorry I'm so tired, stress, etc" blah blah... My family was even kind enouqh to accept her but what the hell... Before all this, she used to care...

I'll be prepared... for any options I have to take... I'll update later... Thanks thouqh, kind words! :) And what happened to your letter G?

TO BE CONTINUED...

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LOLOL! seems to me, she doesn't love you. She just loves your money...

hmmm.. i agree, you should SERIOUSLY stop sending/giving her anymore more of your money. Not even a penny.. because if she does stay faithful and say sorry and stuff and try to get back with you and (if she did really like you) all you can do is spend money on her in the future. I mean, what's so wrong about the future?

if you do keep spending money on her, and if she isn't right for you later in life, then.. that sucks. Wouldn't you feel bad for your future girlfriend or finance because of your foolish love?

(haha im not saying that you're foolish literally. just saying when everyone's in love, they become blind.. therefore they are in a way foolish)

edit-

lol, she is reallyyy strange. remember humans change and their hearts do too.

oh yea. now i remember what i had to tell you

YOU WRITE LIKE A BOOK! hahaha.

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I shook my head all the way through reading that. You sound like a great guy, I'm sorry that you're in such a difficult situation. Trying to juggle your family and a commited relationship around is hard. The girl needs to understand that family is gonna come first. She's had her turn, now it's family's turn. I found it very annoying that she even questioned you about who you'd save! WTF! That's beyond rude...

She needs to understand that, your universe doesn't resolve around HER. She sounds very spoilt, self-centered and ungrateful. If I went on like that, I'd be ashamed.

It's great to know you're so giving, hats off to that. I like generous people. But she just really needs to understand that, she's not the queen of the universe... please, just drum it into her head that you've got other things to deal with and that she needs to grow a spine. Threatening you just because you're not giving her money? Who does she think she is!? Ooh.. so annoying!! I was raised to never be like that, lol. Get what your given; appreciate what you've got... does she ever give you anything back?? How would she feel if you badgered her for money, if she was in a tight situation?? >_<

In response to your question, it's a bit of both. anger/threatening... I feel sorry for you and wish you the best for your situation... I hope you talk sense to her...

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