My Closest Friend Gets Easily Annoyed By Me...

[Guest sunnydaylovex3]

and I don't know why :C

My friend and I have been really close for four years now and everyone knows it. Literally, people think it's strange when they see me and not her, and vice versa. We tell each other everything and it's good and all, but lately (starting from around half a year to a year ago) I get the feeling that she gets annoyed by me a lot.

We tease each other constantly. I tend to be a little biting and sarcastic, but I've hardly ever said anything caustic to her (maybe a few times jokingly, but we trade barbs like there's no tomorrow, so...). I've tried cutting down the teasing remarks and she still gets easily annoyed at me.

Today, for example, we had a choir kick-off picnic. Everything was fine until we were playing badminton with some friends seniors and, because I play tennis, even though it was my first time playing badminton, I did pretty well. But, she didn't play as well. And we were all having a lot of fun, even so, because there were other people not playing well either and everyone kind of just laughs it off. Later, she quits the game while I still play. She watches us for a while and people ask her if she wanted to play again, but she refuse and then she goes to play volleyball with our other friends.

When she was leaving, I was like, "Oh...I see, I think I'm going to leave soon, too."

And she goes, in this angry and hateful voice, "Finally, after, what, five hours of badminton." and storms off.

Is it because I didn't play volleyball with her? I don't know, it feels like I'm not allowed to hang out with other friends or make new friends and because I did, it offended her or something.

Maybe it's because our personalities are quite conflicting?

She's more reserved while I'm out and out there.

She's quiet and I'm extremely loud.

She's sweet and meek in front of teachers while I'm more chipper.

While we both have quite explosive tempers, I show my irritation immediately and tell whoever is annoying me to stop while she holds it in and keeps on tolerating the person until later (usually to complain to me). So basically, I wear my emotions on my sleeves and she doesn't quite do that.

Funny thing is, she's been showing her irritation towards me a lot, but 1) it's not like her to show it (but I guess it's good that she shows it: I'd rather her yell at me than just show annoyance and nothing else though) and 2)

WHAT AM I DOING THAT'S ANNOYING?

[Guest chocolate-girl-chocobo]

maybe you guys spend too much time together?

idk cus i get like that...when I spend too much time with a friend,

we need to take a break from each other.

it's not that we don't like each other anymore,

its just that we've had too much of each other.

so try a small like...break...

or maybe shes just PMS-ing. you never know :/

personally. I think you should just talk to her about it and take it from there...

[Guest muffinx3]

Maybe she's just jealous of you.

We're not her, so we can't really tell you what's wrong.

If she's really as close as you say she is, then you should be able to talk to her about it, right?

[Guest sunnydaylovex3]

If she's really as close as you say she is, then you should be able to talk to her about it, right?

By theory yes. By practice...well, it's intimidating for one, and she'll deny it for another. Or be very offended. Because I've tried a few times, but it's always SUBJECT CHANGE or NAH, YOU'RE PARANOID.

I don't think I'm paranoid.

But. Yeah. I guess no one can tell me what's annoying her except her. >.>;

[Guest Twiggy]

I had a close friend like that too, we eventually just grew tired of each other and everything we did pissed each other off. So we're not as friendly anymore :/

lol that's a bad ending

[Guest starrie]

Maybe it's because you guys spend so much time together that she's just getting annoyed by stupid things. I have a really close friend and we're pretty much the same as you two, it would be weird if someone saw one but not the other. I think both her and I know that if we spend too much time together we're going to eventually kill each other so we try not to be too clingy and do everything together. I easily consider her my best and closest friend even if we don't spend every waking moment of the day together or if we hang out with other people and I'm sure she can say the same. It's worked for us so far, but I think you need to talk to your friend and ask her what's up because it's pretty clear she's getting irritated by things she shouldn't be.

It's most likely just a "phase" where she's kind of in a pissed off/irritable mood for some thing or another and since you guys do spend so much time together you just end up being the one to take the hits.

[Guest Junior.Panda]

Yea i agree with starrie.

[Guest mangoes_]

maybe its that time of the month ~~ haha

[Guest yunapark]

Yeah, I agree with starrie also.

I also have this friend and we're always together. But I'm the more reserved and she's the outgoing type. And I'm the one being annoyed all the time. Well she rarely does, it's mostly because she can tell that I'm annoyed and then she'll act all pissed and whatever. But yeah, I really think it is because I see her every day for school. We have most of our classes together. Because I've been seeing her daily for the past three years in college, I've become very annoyed with things she would do. For example, I get annoyed when she's being overly loud or obnoxious, cause that's just the way she is. I get annoyed by her ..like putting herself out there too much. If that makes any sense. She likes the attention no doubt but sometimes its just too much. I even get annoyed talking to her online at times..lol It's just she's always there ..whether in person or online.. and it can feel rather suffocating and annoying. It's best when we're apart for a while and don't talk to each other 24/7...

[Guest Oprah]

I think your friend is sick of tired seeing you or she just wants someone to control and you can't be controlled anymore.

[Guest joxxy]

I think you guys need some space from one another.

Spending too much time together would cause you guys to become irritated at each other.

Just spend some time apart and when you feel like it's time, talk to her about it.

[Guest kg123]

She's just jealous...dont worry about this..you can always meet new people and make new friends.

[Guest love*beat]

Maybe she's sick of being constantly viewed as the "reserved" type?

I think that you should really talk it out though because if this keeps going on, the tension will only heighten with time and you guys will just grow bitter with one another.

Everything is coming from your perspective afterall, so maybe she's having some kind of personal problem unrelated to all of this and you just seem to be at the wrong place at the wrong time? But either way, it's better to hear from her perspective before assuming that she's annoyed with you.

Or at least.. that's how most of my friendships ended when either me or my friend changed.

Silence is not good if one person feels uncomfortable in friendships or relationships since it'll just lead to more misunderstandings. :/

[taebins_luver]

maybe she's tired of hearing 'hey, where's 'INSERTYOURNAMEHERE'?' as if she can't be seen without you.

just chill and take some time apart.

i'd hate seeing my best friend every day.

[Guest loveandhatred]

hmm as you said, she doesn't really show her emotions well and keep tolerating. Maybe that day was the day she couldn't suppress her annoyance? plus, she was probably feeling uncomfortable with the people you guys played with, thus explaining the irritation.

[Guest nhimoshi]

I agree with many of the posters. I honestly believe it's just a phase. I think she thinks that you know her well enough to read her emotions. I'm just guessing, but I know alot of people who always talk about how well they know another person to the point where they can just "read" them without the other having to say anything. Maybe this isn't the case, but maybe it leans to the point where she hopes you know how she feels without her saying it. She might be bitter because she wishes for you to -already- know. my opinion (:

[Guest waysa]

I have 3 close friends and its normal to get mad/annoyed by at least one of them. The four of us have very different personalities, which makes it hard to not get worked up over something. It's perfectly normal to not get along at times, but in the end, we patch things up and its all good. However, if your friend continues to act the way she does, you have to confront her. By avoiding the problem, it only makes your life miserable (having to deal with someone so bitter). Or you guys just need time apart!

[Guest B L o T T - ii]

i think she's jealous of you in some way~ and yes, i agree with the others that u might be spending "too" much time together......

maybe try to not hang around her too much? cut back just a little bit. no harm trying, right?

[Guest bonjour tristesse.]

You guys are so close to the point where she knows the little things you like to do. It's probably normal, I mean I easily get annoyed by my best friend too but I still love her. If she's your 'closest friend' as you call her you'd be able to talk it out. Tell her what's on your mind and she should be able to understand

[Guest HRJAS]

That happened to me with a girl I used to hang out with all the time. Not exactly my best friend, but she was pretty close to me. We worked together, went to school together, hung out together...whatever friends can do together, we did. It was to the point where people automatically invited just her to a party/kickback and expected me to be there and vice versa.

We both had similar personalities, so we rarely clashed. But pretty soon, she started to get annoyed with me and all that jazz. I straight up asked her what was wrong and why there was a change in her behavior, and she told me straight out that it was because we hung out a lot. She told me it was because she felt like she needed time to herself for once, and I had to agree. We were together almost 24/7!

So just talk to her about it. You can only sit and wonder for so long.