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Johannes

My Boyfriend Is Leaving For 3 Months...

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Well, this isn't happening "soon" per say, but this upcoming entire summer he'll be leaving for China. He has to gain some intern experience there for his career.

We've been together for nearly a year and a half. We've known each other since Freshman year in high school, and at 19-years-old we're pretty deeply in love. It's crazy, I know, and a bunch of you are going to say that we're too young to understand "true love" and too immature to declare that we know we've found the right person.

He and I go to different colleges. It's our Sophomore year now, and although distance separated us...He ALWAYS found a way to see me every week. We'd spend weekends together because we couldn't stand being apart for too long.

He left for Vietnam this summer for two weeks. It was excruciatingly difficult to endure and I went through multiple breakdowns. I hate the fact that I'm so dependent on him...I just love him so much, guys, and I can't stand the thought of now being able to see him for 13+ weeks...

I don't know if I should tell him that a "break" is needed during this period. I feel like the moment he leaves I'll be sulking the entire summer. I sound like I have no life, and I do...I have hobbies and I can study-- but some times I feel so pointless, worthless, and all I can do is think about him and how much I miss his smile.

I don't know if I can handle it. I don't want to end my relationship with him, but I'm certain my eyes are going to flowing with tears those months he leaves.

Advice? :/

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Guest KanyeWEST

sounds like you just need to learn how to cope with him not being around. 3 months isn't even that long. just learn to be patient

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love isn't always defined by how much you physically need your boyfriend. that just means, like you said, you're so dependent on him. TOO dependent, if i may say. KanyeWEST is right - you have to learn to cope not physically being with him. and besides, i agree. three months isn't that long.

AND, a "break" is unecessary if you two really love each other.

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Do you even know what a break would do? Like, when you think "oh, maybe we should go on a break," what would that accomplish in your eyes? Because I'm telling you it wouldn't accomplish anything except for giving you both room to find someone else. Look up the definition of "break." Is that what you want to do to your relationship?

Just deal with it. It'll be over before you know it.

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It's crazy, I know, and a bunch of you are going to say that we're too young to understand "true love" and too immature to declare that we know we've found the right person.

I'll be blunt, it sounds like you're too young to understand "true love" if you're so dependent on his physical presence that three months of separation has you considering a break. As mentioned, actual true love isn't about constant physical presence. This will be a good chance for you to learn to be a little less dependent on your boyfriend. You'll find sooner or later that you can't really be happy with someone if you can't be content by yourself.

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Guest Xahns13

Well, just think about this: When he does come back, you'll cherish him even more =]

But seriously, 3 months isn't really that long.

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i was in a similar situation, where my gf was away for about 5 months.

Yes, it is difficult but hey it gives you time to catch up on things, realize how much more you love that person and when they do get back B) hehe

and i mean your boyfriend won't physically be there but you can always talk on the phone, chat online, etc

my girlfriend and I wrote a couple diary online just to keep each other up to date on what we did everyday

and i agree with everyone else telling him you need a break for 3 months won't exactly help the situation....it won't make you miss him any less and wouldn't be very good for the relationship

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your S/O leaving and you know the person is coming back in a definite timeframe is WAY DIFFERENT from your S/O leaving and the person's return is uncertain. i have experienced the latter. that's putting "love" to a real test.

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awww i wouldnt know how it feeels :( im already trying to cope with my boyfriend not being around 24/7 to talk to me. When i have so much free time T__T;; anywaysss im sure you'll manage after a week or so it gets easier. its getting easier for me to realize that i will still talk to my boyfriend after school not in the mornings.

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sounds like you just need to learn how to cope with him not being around. 3 months isn't even that long. just learn to be patient

Exactly.

You're going to have to develop patience. I understand what you're going through, because I'm in the same situation.

My boyfriend and I are already in a long distance relationship, on top of that, he's leaving for basic training in a

month or so. After that, he gets a 2 week break and after that I won't see him again for 7 months to a year.

I suggest that you go out with some friends, find a hobby, just anything to distract you from thinking about

him too much. It's alright to cry for awhile, I did. Besides, you're a lucky girl!!

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Work on those "I feel so useless" feelings cause that's one of the bigger problems behind this.

and I can't stand the thought of now being able to see him for 13+ weeks...

Look at it this way: it's only 1/4 of a year.

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I don't mean to sound rude, but honestly, deal with it. 3 months is not a long time. Sure, you'll miss him. But he's not gonna be away forever. If you two are that clingy that you need to see each other every weekend, then maybe the distance will do you good, help you become more independent.

I've known a couple that was long distance for 2 years, from the first day they started dating, till the day he finally moved back to the Phillipines. If this is your 'true love', then it can survive anything.

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It's really not healthy to feel useless and like life is pointless even when your boyfriend was only gone for a couple of weeks. You had a life before your boyfriend, right? And I hope you still have other friends you hang out with and didn't ditch them all when you started dating this guy. Now think of your boyfriend as a huge bonus in life instead of the cornerstone of it and you'll be fine. Of course you'll miss him, but think of this as time to rediscover that you can go it alone without someone else there all the time to prop you up. Three months is really not too long. My advice is to keep in touch with him as much as the two of you can manage and try to enjoy that time for all it's worth instead of thinking about how you'd rather have him next to you in the flesh. Also, stop stressing about this so much and freaking out almost a year ahead of time!

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If he's your true love like you say then you shouldn't even be considering breaking up.

You obviously don't want to break up, and you shouldn't.

Three months might seem like a long time, and it's going to be hard, but it's not impossible.

I think the time apart will be good for you not because you need a break from eachother but because you do need to learn how to be away from him and how to be a little less dependent. I was dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and I was the same way as you when we moved off to different colleges. I've only been here two weeks, but the first week I cried (bawling, sobbing) multiple times a day because I miss him so much. Now in my second week things are getting better. I'm learning how to deal and how to cope. I still miss him terribly, but it just makes the next time I see him all the sweeter.

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Guest lovexplosions

u can always come over to my house and play some hannah montanna games

;)

lol what?

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Three months will go by fast. I don't see the whole point in taking a break? Aren't you just going to feel the same thing when he's gone? You do know that taking a break can mean that in the three months, he can talk and maybe do whatever with other girls since he's not tied down anymore right?

You need to learn to balance out your dependence and independence. I'm in the same situation as you, I've known my bf since sophomore year of hs and now we're both 19, we've been dating for a year now, we've been in a LDR a month after we started going out, I've even gone three months without being able to talk to him because of his circumstance at that time. Even now I haven't been able to talk to him much at all but I'm still hanging on and being strong. At least after three months your bf is coming back.

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Three months will go by fast. I don't see the whole point in taking a break? Aren't you just going to feel the same thing when he's gone? You do know that taking a break can mean that in the three months, he can talk and maybe do whatever with other girls since he's not tied down anymore right?

You need to learn to balance out your dependence and independence. I'm in the same situation as you, I've known my bf since sophomore year of hs and now we're both 19, we've been dating for a year now, we've been in a LDR a month after we started going out, I've even gone three months without being able to talk to him because of his circumstance at that time. Even now I haven't been able to talk to him much at all but I'm still hanging on and being strong. At least after three months your bf is coming back.

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