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Aziraphale

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Our conversation keeps playing in my head

You have crossed the line

The line means nothing to me

I hate myself for forgetting how cruel you can be

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why do you have to tell me you need me as a best friend, but just push me around?

why do you have to always have it your way? it's so obvious, you favor her over me...

but how about common courtesy? I don't want to be used. I don't want to be thrown around and cut off.

I wanted to be a good friend, but you're always throwing stuff my way.

You pretend to be cool, strong, and indifferent, but I know you're not. You're insecure, you're clueless, and afraid.

You're afraid of being alone. You can't be without your boyfriend for more than few weeks. You always depend on a guy. You always come crying to me about your boyfriend...your problems...it makes me cringe. WHY am i helping you? Why do you come to me? Why do you want my help?

You come to me with problems with your 'best friend'. You talk about how bad of a friend she is. You tell me you'll never be the same with her again. But the next day, you return to your normal self. You cut me off once again and run to her.

You push me around, like I'm worth nothing...

Do you know you're doing this to me? Or are you just oblivious to it? It makes me wonder why I'm still your friend.

Because I want to help you? Because I have a heart? Because I want to make a difference in your life...

Why am i still here? Why have I put up with you for five years?

I'm so sick and tired of your attitude.

I know exactly what you're like, what you want, and what you're afraid of.

You have a lot to lose.

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Get the fcuk out of my life.

Honestly, you and everyone of those people are so pathetic, but you're the most pathetic one.

I'm so done with you. Besty my richard simmons. Care for me? My richard simmons.

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Why do I keep putting you through this? Why is this time so different? Why am I so scared to get close? I keep hurting you time and time again, but it's not that I don't care...It's cos I care too much and I feel so lost. I'm sorry for what I did yesterday, what I said, I really will try not to do it again. I know I promised, and I don't know why I keep on doing this to you every few days, am I really that insecure? Please do what you always do....Keep on holding on.

I want this to work out. Yet I'm scared that it might not.

But.

...I love you.

I bloody love you so so so much.

Strange thing isn't it? Nobody would believe me, but you know how I feel and I'm glad you feel the same way too.

Babe, whatever happens, you'll always be in my heart. I'll always remember the guy that made me the happiest I've been in ages.

What you do to me.... Nobody can replace that feeling.

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why the hell are you with him right now?...i can't help but feel infidelity is happening right below me one floor down...why bother asking me to come over to your house for this bs.

well, there goes my confidence.

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I liked it when you sent me those texts, I liked it when you talked to me, I loved it when you were spending time with me. But then it all stopped. Why? Is it because you know her better? Is this how jealousy feels like?

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I don't know why that her & I can't never speak up to you? are we to nice? are we scared? I don't know , & i don't

think i will ever know. It just we want to tell you that we really think that it about time you get your own stuff.

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i'm so sorry! i can't believe this is happening to you! i can't imagine how you must feel. and after

reading those letters you wrote, gosh, they brought tears to my eyes. i hope you make the most

of what's left of your time together. everything will be okay, just hang in there.

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