Dating Tips And Advice - Do Surprise Visits Help The Relationship?

[Guest azn_guitar_guy]

I just got into my first serious relationship and I feel that I need a lot of tips and advice, even tho I usually know what to do when I wasn't in such a serious one before. I wouldn't feel so insecure since I wasn't so attached at that time, but here I feel like I want to do something more to make her smile.

The thing is that we always discuss about what we're going to do for our next date and plan carefully our next outing (eg. take into consideration of the weather, how far we have to travel, $$, maps), but what I came to realize is that we don't have that "surprise" feeling into it... and that "out of the blue" thing that we just happen to do in the next second.

I was thinking about making a surprise visit to see her suddenly today, but I think that soley depends on how much she's thinking about me and how serious she is... otherwise it might be frowned upon.

Give me some feedback, Thanks!

[Guest Daylightful]

D'aw! I think a surprise visit would be so sweet. I'm a girl, and I know if a guy did that to me I would be really happy! It would make me think that he actually cares for me and thinks about me to the point he wants to come and see me! But remember to call her to make sure she's not doing anything today! Would suck if you went there and nobody is home! It's a good thing you guys plan carefully too! If you want to make it feel surprisy give her a gift when you guys are on a date or a bouquet of flowers! Maybe write a little card and slip it in the flowers. Things just like that! And it's the tiny things that means a lot too! You don't have to buy her a car or anything. Send her an email once in awhile reminding her you care for her! Or text her saying you miss her. Small things like that does a lot. But congrats and good luck~! I hope it works out!

[Guest Overtherainbow]

I think surprise visits are only good if you're allowed at her house.

I'm technically not allowed to date so my boyfriend can not be anywhere near my house therefore he can't make surprise visits and he knows that.

I did surprise my bf one time when he was sick and I brought him medicine, soup and megan fox related magazines.

If you do decide to surprise her then at least have some plan. What happens if you go over there and you guys just sit there and she keeps asking you "what do you wanna do?". I guess I'm juvenile in that I think you should bring a game or something but you know her best.

[Guest azn_guitar_guy]

I think surprise visits are only good if you're allowed at her house.

I'm technically not allowed to date so my boyfriend can not be anywhere near my house therefore he can't make surprise visits and he knows that.

I did surprise my bf one time when he was sick and I brought him medicine, soup and megan fox related magazines.

If you do decide to surprise her then at least have some plan. What happens if you go over there and you guys just sit there and she keeps asking you "what do you wanna do?". I guess I'm juvenile in that I think you should bring a game or something but you know her best.

oh I didn't mean like visits to her house, I was thinking more like visits at her neighborhood and then call her up and talk about random stuff like:

me: "hey, what're u doing?"

her: "just at home... bored and have nothing to do"

me: "then wanna go do something?"

her: "sure, but u live so far away... so by the time u come it'll be really late"

me: "i assure u, i'll race there and be over there in less than 5 min"

or i could visit her at her workplace and i was thinking of giving her (or lending her) this electronic dictionary that she says she's been wanting to use for a while. i keep insisting on giving it to her but she wants to buy her own... go figure.

[Guest kenny3435]

oh I didn't mean like visits to her house, I was thinking more like visits at her neighborhood and then call her up and talk about random stuff like:

me: "hey, what're u doing?"

her: "just at home... bored and have nothing to do"

me: "then wanna go do something?"

her: "sure, but u live so far away... so by the time u come it'll be really late"

me: "i assure u, i'll race there and be over there in less than 5 min"

or i could visit her at her workplace and i was thinking of giving her (or lending her) this electronic dictionary that she says she's been wanting to use for a while. i keep insisting on giving it to her but she wants to buy her own... go figure.

y dont u plan out ur next date by urself and pay for everything

and surprise her by coming to her house/neighbourhood and take her there

[Guest hobobear]

you should surprise her by going to her house with flowers too TEEHEE

[Guest michikosashimi]

you should surprise her by going to her house with flowers too TEEHEE

cute idea d:

[Guest Visvim]

yes and no.

there are some girls out there who doesn't like surprises that much.

hopefully she does.

[Guest Cγиσsυяε`]

I love surprises. Surprise visits = win. If your s/o seems like the type that would be into it, then you should do it for sure (:

[Guest heineken.]

I love surprise visits. Even though I tell my SO that I don't, mostly because I don't want to look sloppy, I'm always pleasantly surprised when he just shows up.

I remember for Valentines Day once, my bf told me that he couldn't see me when we were talking on the phone. I was in the school library basement when I hung up with him to do my work. Then he came up from behind me with a dozen pink roses ^^ that was the first time I blushed. Sometimes he'd call me and say to get ready in 20 minutes and take me to a nice sushi restaurant he found on the internet.. or wake me up when I'm asleep in my dorm at 3AM and say that he was at the entrance of my building lol.

Spontaneity could be very romantic~ and it keeps the girls on their toes lol.

[Guest azn_guitar_guy]

I love surprise visits. Even though I tell my SO that I don't, mostly because I don't want to look sloppy, I'm always pleasantly surprised when he just shows up.

I remember for Valentines Day once, my bf told me that he couldn't see me when we were talking on the phone. I was in the school library basement when I hung up with him to do my work. Then he came up from behind me with a dozen pink roses ^^ that was the first time I blushed. Sometimes he'd call me and say to get ready in 20 minutes and take me to a nice sushi restaurant he found on the internet.. or wake me up when I'm asleep in my dorm at 3AM and say that he was at the entrance of my building lol.

Spontaneity could be very romantic~ and it keeps the girls on their toes lol.

I liked hearing your experience, it's giving me a few ideas. Actually I'd like to hear more stories if possible. This sounds pretty useful.

[Guest hsin531]

You won't know unless you try it so I would say go and surprise her. If she responds positively then that will show you that she appreciates the gesture. You don't necessarily have to plan out everything you do with you girlfriend, sometimes it's just as or even more fun to run on impulse and see what the day will bring. My boyfriend sometimes randomly shows up at my work to bring me food and for my birthday this year he surprised me with a short romantic getaway. The fact that you're putting effort into the relationship is also a plus and hopefully she realizes that. I hope your girlfriend will like the surprise.

[myxo]

I love surprises, and most of the time it doesn't even have to include money. All you need to spend is your time, and in the long run, that's a pretty good investment I would think.

I have a few stories too. My ex was supposed to take me to the beach one time after work, but he got so tired after work that he just wanted to go home and rest. I was a bit upset because he was really irritated after work and didn't offer even an apology. Later, during midnight, I was getting ready for bed when he called me up and told me he was at the entrance of my dorm. Another time, he and I were having one of our routine arguments where we go 1 week without seeing or talking to each other. I was living in the dorms this time, and I was taking a nap when I heard the door open (I figured it was my roomie) but I was still drowsy with sleep. The next thing I remember, my ex crawled into bed and started hugging me from behind. He must have called my roomie and asked for the key to my room. It meant a lot that he cared and was willing to put SO much effort into making me smile again.

Believe it or not, surprise visits leave a verrrrry big dent in the memory department.

[Guest azn_guitar_guy]

I feel like the thread's dying so this is very interesting stuff... I'll keep these in mind and thanks for ur comments everyone!

[Guest onhotwires]

I think surprise visits are helped when it's not like 100% out of the blue, but rather... slightly hinted at, around the last minute. So, you know if she's free, what kind of mood she's in, and she gets that nice feeling of "oh, is he gonna do something sweet, which I'm hoping he'll do? yaay. he did. =]"

I personally love surprises. Best opportunities, I think, for surprises is when she's just been through a long day or is feeling down and lonely. You'll make her feel special. =3

[Guest hanilemon]

I love surprises! My boyfriend surprised me about a month ago. He was so busy with sports so I haven't seen him in a week, and I thought I wasn't gonna see him for another week cause he was leaving for camp the next day. That day I was soooo exhausted from work so I was taking a long nap, then he calls around 9:30pm.

him- [my name]?

me- ...hello..? *half asleep*

him- did i wake you up?

me- yeah.. its okay. what's up?

him- i'm on your street

me- o___o *awake*

Sure as hell made me happy although my hair was messy..

[Guest Mishi-san]

Lol I love surprises!

It was one of our anniversaries and I'm all not into the celebrating thing so we both decided that it would be simple lunch and hanging out. I baked him a cake ( cause he likes cakes) in the morning and so when I was ready he knocked on my door. I opened - a bunch of roses was shoved into my face and I was SO surprised I was like WTH!? and he leaned back smiling standing inside his dodgy love heart he made out of candles it wasn't even all lit and in a tux. BAH rofl it was so cute and adorable rofl and its true what myxo said: Surprises do leave a big dent in the memory department.

[Shuga]

^ I agree with your last sentence!

But make sure she's not busy/having a riff with family/has something else planned.

In other words, have a chat to her before but don't hint you are coming -- or visit her in the morning when her day's fresh! I would find that so sweet, aye. Just don't rock up at 5 am or when it's still dark. Please, no.

[MNLV27]

Instead of always planning, why don't you guys just go and do whatever in the spur of the moment. Work around the things that go against you guys on that day, if it rains and you guys are outside, play in the rain, go indoors and watch a movie or jsut look at the rain and tell childhood stories or something just fun without costing money..

[Guest Romancer.]

I absolutely love surprises!

If you're not sure if she does or not then maybe you shouldn't risk it. It would be bad if she had already made plans.

There are other ways to be spontaneous. You could both meet up and then close your eyes and point on a map and go where ever you land on. Take the train and explore new places that you've both never been to before!

Good luck. I hope she loves whatever you decide to do.