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Guest Trinity <3

Who's chasing who? You're chasing him.

Who's waiting? You.

Who's with another person? He is.

Who is his main dish? No one, because he wants to "test the waters" like all jerks do.

His side dish? Both of you guys.

He cares about you?

If he does, walk away now -- see if he runs back for you.

Wait wait, he doesn't want to be tied down?

Then why does he have a girlfriend?

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Guest meiming8

I read your edit...you're posting here because what you really want all of us soompiers to say is, 'well, he's a good guy, and he doesn't really want to be with his girlfriend, he wants to be with you.'

I'm sorry if this is going to sound harsh, again, but:

HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

HE'S CHEATING WITH YOU

you KNOW what you are doing is wrong. Of COURSE he will say to your face, 'oh I really don't want to say (whatever his girlfriend's name is), I want to stay with you' because HE WANTS YOU TO KEEP HANGING ONTO HIM. And you WILL because, despite EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE FOR YOU, YOU STILL BELIEVE HIM.

I don't know what situations you two have gone through together, but I think everyone in a relationship has been through some tough times with their boyfriend/girlfriend. I have, too. Some were really tough. So, he helped you through it because he was in a relationship with you at the time. But then he broke up with you. Because he doesn't love you anymore. So now he's using you, because you're clinging onto him.

Just leave...we're giving you real advice, instead of advice justifying what you're doing, which is what you want to hear. No one is going to say that what you are doing is right: it is wrong to yourself, and it is wrong to his girlfriend. Leave, really. You're giving him yourself, and he's giving you less than nothing in return.

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Guest Kiss1235

I know exactly what you're going through :)

Well my ex hung out with me when he was going out with someone I thought it would be fine to be friends since we've been friends since kids.

He asked me to come to the movies with him and he started leaning on me and hugging me, I thought he was single again. I asked him afterwards and he was like nope I'm still with her, I felt bad but it felt nice to have that couple feeling with him again. His gf dumped him about a week later, he hung out with me like every single day after his break up and I thought it wouldn't be so bad if I felt something for him again. He then blurted out "I'm working on it with her " I couldn't take it anymore and found someone else to be with, in the end he told me he liked me but I was already with someone else.

My advice is get out while you can ! hes trying to have his cake and eat it too so surely hes gonna end up alone and you don't wanna be the reason why hes alone!

Good luck :)

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Guest bakaLuci

haha are you serious ? how can you not see the obvious and moral option..? you say he's 'caring' and 'not a bad person'.. but cheating on your current gf is NOT caring and DOES make him a bad person. You being the third wheel makes you a bad person too - sorry to say it so rashly, but it's true. OK you love him and everything, but if he is cheating on his current gf, he'd probably cheat on you too.

and you said 'i don't know the other girl personally' SO?! and what? sorry. but that's annoyingly stupid. e.g. OH I DON'T KNOW THIS GUY I'M STABBING, BUT IT'S ALL COOL AND IT'S NOT WRONG 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HIM.

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Guest holypinkgurl

You know it's wrong, you know it's bad. You know you need to stop.

Don't make up any more excuses and stop this whole thing with him.

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Guest living.in.a.igloo

I honestly don't want to offend you, so sorry if I do but I think you should just leave.

1. You're just hurting yourself, by "waiting" for him. There has to be a reason why he's still in a relationship with his gf, he must obviously have feelings for her, or why else would he be with her still, and not with you?

2. You say that he's a real nice guy, but honestly he's cheating on his gf... that's already a BIG NO-NO!

3. No offense but it seems like you're a booty call. He's using you, He knows that you'll agree with w/e he says. He's He knows that you still have feelings for him, Plus your already willing to do w/e knowing that he his a gf.

4. Karma, What goes around comes around. You said that he never cheated on you when you were dating... how do you know that? From taking his word for it? uh dear, he's already LIEING to his gf, about what he does so that he can spend time with you... Obviously his gf is taking his word for it and look at what situation she's in right now. Plus even though you don't know her personally, your still hurting her, how does that change anything? Your still seeing you're ex bf. Just remember what goes around comes around, and the whole treat others the way you want to be treated.

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Guest KareBear

I don't know if he likes/love you or not but truth be told- he's in a relationship. Why did you guys break up in the first place? Because he can't see himself with you right now but can see you as a person he wants to settle down with? If so, isn't he just playing with you right now? I mean, you two aren't in a relationship and he is seeing some other girl too so that doesn't mean he's serious about either you or her. I mean seriously! If he's serious he should consider your feelings too! He should be like "I can't play around with you because you mean too much to me! I don't want to hurt you" Or let you move on too.

There's a chinese saying "ride a cow until you see a horse" meaning keep whatever you have now until you find something better. That's the impression he's giving me

To me, the whole thing sounds b.s It seems like he doesn't know what he wants... Put yourself in his gf's shoes... What if you found out your boyfriend is just messing around with you while seeing his ex-gf behind your back the whole time. Wouldn't you be like "wtf?! why are you doing this?!"

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If he really doesn't want to be tied down right now, why does he have a girlfriend again? And shouldn't both of you feel bad for leaving his girlfriend in the dark like that? I don't care how you word it, but right now, you are the other woman. Why are you still involved with someone who's playing with other people's feelings (like his poor girlfriend's feeling)? Why won't YOU try putting yourself in HER shoes?

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Guest F999KR
Like what the title says, i'm in a situation where i'm still seeing my ex nd we're still friends.

we still do those couple-like things when we hang out alone.

basically he's cheating on his current gf with me.

yea kinda weird how i would stay in this situation when i know its wrong.

but we were together for more than 3 years nd i do love him.

that's why i'm willing to do this nd plus i dont kno the girl personally.

i think he doesnt want to get back wit me officially right now is b/c

he doesnt want to be tied down.

he also said i'm the girl he can settle down with but now is not the time.

so i guess i'm just waiting for him.

but the problem is that it hurts when i find out he hung out with his gf dat day

or like seeing his fb profile pic of them 2.

so i guess my question is should i stay like this nd get hurt everytime i kno he hung out with her

or whatever lovey dovey stuff they did?

or should i move on for now nd come back when he's ready?

or any other ideas you have on what i should do?

Edit: i read most of the comments nd it all says to leave him. idk how to explain it but i guess

u gotta be in my shoes to know how he actually is, he's not a bad person or anything.

he's a very caring person nd he would never want to hurt me (yeah i kno you'd be like "psh, he doesnt care" but with everything we've been thru, i kno he cares. experiences are hard to put in words.

i guess to him, being wit me is being in a serious relationship nd he never cheated on me or

mess with girls when he was with me. when we were together, we would always hang out nd i even eat dinner with his family nd all. it was dat serious.

the relationship he has now, he always tries to make excuses

to not hang out with his current gf. i guess to him, its not a serious relationship with the current gf.

so its consider not being tied down (yeah still weird to put it this way).

one of our close friend even told me that he wants to be with me but just not now.

i guess i'm just tryna justify that he's not as bad as you think.

& i'm free to date others nd everything but i guess i choose to kick it wit him because i dont want

the feeling to fade away. idk if i made myself any clearer...

unless you enjoy being the other girl, then you really need to break that off

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Guest Autumn1430263885
Who's chasing who? You're chasing him.

Who's waiting? You.

Who's with another person? He is.

Who is his main dish? No one, because he wants to "test the waters" like all jerks do.

His side dish? Both of you guys.

He cares about you?

If he does, walk away now -- see if he runs back for you.

Wait wait, he doesn't want to be tied down?

Then why does he have a girlfriend?

ditto

so sounds like you'r waiting for him...well how long are you willing to wait for him?..until he finds someone else who's better? ..while you're always just left there hanging?

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Guest iAmTan_1

Guys are very simple. It's either a yes or no for them. If they are not sure, it typically a "no". Why do I say that? It's because if a guy truly wants to be with you, he will be with you--no questions asked. If he wants you, he would do whatever it takes......If a guys is not worthy of going all out for you then maybe you should rethink your options.

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Guest Peachdoll_Ocean

Why would you still hang out with your ex (& do couple like things) when he has a girlfriend? You seem to be in denial, waiting on him? Girl, he doesn't want to be tied down yet he has already found another girl. Obviously, it's over between you two. If he were really looking for some time apart from you or just to be alone for awhile, he wouldn't be in another relationship. Nor, would he even bother hanging with you. Doesn't that just contradict the entire situation? Makes no sense.

Hanging with him is not a problem, but you still like him and he doesn't seem to, at least not as before. Just because you don't know her personally doesn't mean she deserves to be two timed by your ex. Why are you feeding the fire, don't be so selfish girl. Let it be.

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I know that it's hard to read many comments criticizing the person you love, but you must try to take it in, even if it is difficult for you to read. If everyone's telling you to leave, then maybe your perception of him is warped, and you should listen to people who aren't biased and in love with him. And.. we know, that you love him and think he's a great guy. But standing on the outside, we can all see that he isn't, and want what's best for you - to leave his sorry richard simmons and put him behind you. You're right, we're not "in your shoes", if we were, we wouldn't be much use to you (: What you're getting here, are objective replies, from people whose view isn't clouded by feelings & emotions. ^^

1. He IS a bad person. If he was a good person, he wouldn't be playing you, and cheating on his current gf.

2. He DOES hurt you, and he doesn't give a crap. You're hurting right now, aren't you? He couldn't care less, all he cares about is himself. :(

3. He's two-timing you right now. You say he never cheated on you but you can't prove it. And it seems he has no problem with cheating on this new girl, which doesn't really help his case.

4. He said he could settle down with you, but not right now? Who the hell does he think he is, that he can richard simmons off and date other women and just come back to you whenever he feels like it to 'settle down'? For the love of god don't waste your life sitting around waiting for him, you can do much better than that. He really needs to grow the hell up and stop being such a jerk.

5. The fact that you were together for a long time and that he loves/loved you does NOT excuse his behaviour.

6. Not knowing the other girl makes it easier for you not to care about how she feels but really.. it's not right, not fair on her. I know this whole situation is unfair on you as well but that doesn't justify it.

You say he doesn't want to be tied down and that he avoids her etc but, he must be with her for a reason. So either he's BS'ing to you, or you're exaggerating things and making their situation out to be worse than it really is, because you hope he'll end it with her and come back to you. That's what you're waiting around for, after all. Deluding yourself isn't helpful, though. He won't leave her. After all, he's probably enjoying having the attention of two girls at once -__-"

Subconsciously you know that you need to get out of this situation, you wouldn't have posted if you were fine and happy with things the way they are. So you need to get away from him. So that in time, you can find someone else, who you actually WILL be happy with. (: If you have a close friend or family member, talk this through with them, and they can help support you if/when you decide to end things with him.

Like everyone else has said, my advice is essentially to break it off with him, you could maybe tell his gf what a **** he is, too. If she finds out he was cheating with you, she'll probably leave him. Then he'll have no one, and maybe that'll be the wake-up call he needs, because that boy seriously needs to mend his ways.

Best of luck to you. xx

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I think you already know what the right thing to do is. Just because you don't know his gf personally, doesn't mean it's ok to have relations with him. The fact that you know he's with somebody else makes you just as guilty as he is. Honestly, if he's ok with cheating on the girl he's with now, he will have no problem cheating on you once you "get back together".

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Sorry. He sounds like a loser and you seem to be blind. Harsh, but you know... in the end... someone will get hurt and it's not going to be him.

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Guest greenlavender

reading your edit i really feel bad for his current girlfriend. if he doesnt want to hang out with her than break it off with her and hang out with you but you guys dont have to be official and that serious about it like before. if not than you should leave him because if he really wants to be with you he would be back if he knows that he is really losing you. if he is "not ready" than you should leave him and see how the future goes because you could get back together in the future when he is ready but try to find someone else or else if you date anyone in between that period you are waiting for him it would be sad on that guy that you are datings part

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Guest YESUNGHWAITING!

You know this is wrong or you wouldn't have to defend him or post a thread about it.

Stop hoping he'll come around, because he won't.

And if he does, it won't be long before he gets bored.

If he really didn't want to hang out with his girlfriend, he would've broken up with her by now.

He just thinks he's hot s**t because he can have two girls at once.

Don't give him that power, we already have enough men like that in this world.

-_-

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Guest plegend2007

There is a sucker born every minute.

Sorry to put it like that, but you need to realize who is the sucker in this case.

Sucks for his current gf though -_-

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