Ask Me Anything~!

[Guest SUperLong]

This could be long, but bear with me

So I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. It will be a year on March-14-2011. So after a year of "dating" we have been really close and we are in love. We communicate really well when we feel down and tell each other how we feel. We know communication is important and that it helps a lot in a relationship. So the problem is that she is 24 and she still is afraid of asking her parents if she can hangout with me. We live about 10 minutes away from each other but we rarely see each other. Maybe once a week but sometimes not. When we have friends get together she would ask her parents if she can go to the friends house but when it's with me alone she would lie to them and still say friends just to make them feel better. Like I asked her about this and told her why after 1 year she is still afraid. She then tells me that that is how she is and that no one can change that. My mom always asks me about her and would ask me to ask her out to eat with us but when I invite her she would turn me down. Her family on the other hand like does not like me. I go to her house all the time and they rarely talk to me. They just say hi and then run into their rooms to watch chinese movies. I make an effort to try and get close with her family but they seem so distant. My family on the other hand want to meet her but she won't meet them.

After 1 year is it reasonable for me to be sad/angry about her actions and how she isn't "trying". She tells me that she is trying but it's really hard for me to see how she is trying when she makes no effort to even try to meet me. I know we both are young and we are trying to get our life together and find a good career but I just want to be able to see her on the weekend. I am understanding and can see that I still have to work on getting a real job and everything to get the dad's respect. But I'm frustrated about this situation. I love her and want to be with her but if you guys were in my situation what would you do? How would you deal with this? Since I still love her and want to be with her am I going to just have to suck it up and deal with it then?

[emytran]

never mind

[Guest SLEEK_SUSHI]

*sigh* I've been having this problem and need some advice just like the rest of these soompiers. So from the beginning,when school first started my other friends brought this guy (lets call him david) I never knew before to where we hung out and we were all getting along nicely. Then a few months later there was a school dance and my other guy friend (lets call him Frank)asked me to go with him and all my other friends thought i liked him including david. I think I did have a small crush on Frank but it wasn't for long. Not long after the dance I developed feelings for david, i thought he was a really nice guy. so Prom is coming up now and everyone is expecting frank to ask me to prom, but to everyone's surprise he didn't! I wasn't sad or anything because I liked david, but david wasn't going to prom. so I knew he wasn't going to ask anyone so I asked him (sad i know asking a guy to prom -.-) i gave him a note and he said ok. i told some of my friends that i liked david. but i found out that one of my friends had liked him too, and now i feel really bad but its not like i can control my feelings. my friend says she's ok with it but i know shes not, shes the type of person to put others needs first before her own. but i also found out that david likes someone else but he wont tell me who, i never confessed to him or anything because he thinks were going as friends. only my other girlfriends know that i like him. he said that the girl he likes probably doesnt like him and shes moving somewhere else for college. so i told him that there were a lot of other fish in the sea and he said no, there isnt. T.T"

i want to get to know david more but do you guys think the effort would be a waste because he likes someone else? should i just give up, because that would be good for me and my friends sake?

sorry, for the long story and questions ><

[_siku_]

*sigh* I've been having this problem and need some advice just like the rest of these soompiers. So from the beginning,when school first started my other friends brought this guy (lets call him david) I never knew before to where we hung out and we were all getting along nicely. Then a few months later there was a school dance and my other guy friend (lets call him Frank)asked me to go with him and all my other friends thought i liked him including david. I think I did have a small crush on Frank but it wasn't for long. Not long after the dance I developed feelings for david, i thought he was a really nice guy. so Prom is coming up now and everyone is expecting frank to ask me to prom, but to everyone's surprise he didn't! I wasn't sad or anything because I liked david, but david wasn't going to prom. so I knew he wasn't going to ask anyone so I asked him (sad i know asking a guy to prom -.-) i gave him a note and he said ok. i told some of my friends that i liked david. but i found out that one of my friends had liked him too, and now i feel really bad but its not like i can control my feelings. my friend says she's ok with it but i know shes not, shes the type of person to put others needs first before her own. but i also found out that david likes someone else but he wont tell me who, i never confessed to him or anything because he thinks were going as friends. only my other girlfriends know that i like him. he said that the girl he likes probably doesnt like him and shes moving somewhere else for college. so i told him that there were a lot of other fish in the sea and he said no, there isnt. T.T"

i want to get to know david more but do you guys think the effort would be a waste because he likes someone else? should i just give up, because that would be good for me and my friends sake?

sorry, for the long story and questions ><

Try to get to know him more, you never know. At the same time, you should open yourself to get to know other people too. Also, don't worry about your friend. It's up to the guy to choose either between you or your friend, or no one at all. 

Talking to her doesn't work. She doesn't want me to know anything. I ask her about her feelings and she doesn't want to tell me anything... I don't know what to do.

Tell her if she can't open herself and tell you about  her feelings, this relationship won't last for long. 

Just need a little advice  

Recently a new guy starting working at where I work and at first time meeting I liked him already. Then it developed into something more, and now I know for sure I'm crushing on him and every time I see him my mood lighten up and I would smile and feel happy inside. I told him he is cute and he knows I think hes cute because I would tell him. Sometimes when he comes to work he would come up to me and say hi to me then walk back to his area, other times he would tap me when he walks by like on my shoulder and when he walk pass me he would put his hand on my side and then pass me. Things like that make me think that he is interested but what if I'm wrong? I did make the first move because I wrote down my number and told someone to give it to him, he texted me within 2 hours which made my night because I was not expecting it. However he does not text me unless I text him first and I don't do that often..only when i'm off and he was not around so I text him "bye" then he would text me back "bye x have a goodnight"  ahhh I love the feeling of having a crush but it also sucks because I do like this boy and I want something more than just flirting.. =/ it sucks.. 

please comment  anything will do even comments like " I don't think he likes you he's just being nice " will do too<3 thanks guys !

He might be interested. Talk to him and get to know him more? =] 

my crush and I goes to the same uni and same church. So his parents often drives us back to campus when we visit, and we usually goes for lunch together before we leaves. His parents pay for the lunch pretty much all the time.I tried to let them pay for my share, and they never let me. *The Chinese thing* So I wanted to thank them, I wanted to make them cookies? Is that a good idea, or should I invite them to dinner sometimes?

Both would be fine. 

[Guest _Gigi_]

Dear Poop-Shoop-A-Loop 

I Like this guy but he doesn't like me back, he also stood me up and I'm Hurt from him...How do I get Over him?

Also What if you found out, you're guy friend likes you that way O_O Thanks

[Guest ohhblueberry]

deleted*

[_siku_]

Dear Poop-Shoop-A-Loop 

I Like this guy but he doesn't like me back, he also stood me up and I'm Hurt from him...How do I get Over him?

Also What if you found out, you're guy friend likes you that way O_O Thanks

Time will heal everything. Get busy. Focus on school. Go out with friends, do things that you enjoy~

What if your guy friend like you? Do you like him? If no, just reject him when he confesses to you. 

[Guest ohlalalo]

I've got a question... Why do guys LIE?

Ok, so that's very broad.. but what happened is this:

I went out with my friends to a club, and this guy was looking at me, so I started dancing closer to him with my gf to see if he was cute.. He was eh.. so then I went back to the bar to get a drink, and I turned and he was right beside me and asked me my name.. So I told him. I don't normally do this but he seemed like an okay guy.. We started talking and he bought me a drink and we were dancing and talking for the rest of the night..

When it was time for me to leave he asked for my number so I gave it to him, and he said "Ok great, I'll call you tmw and we can go out for dinner or w/e" (not exact quote but something to that extent)

Anyways, the day after came and went... He texted me once afterwards to make sure I got home alright.. BUT now im just wondering, WHY oh why do guys have to say stuff like that if they are uninterested?

I think it's ridiculous. If you're not interested, I'm sorry, but you don't have to lie to spare my feelings. Why not just say, "OK it was great meeting you and I had fun.. BYE good night! " Or when you take my number, why give a girl the false hope that you'll call?

THAT is just stupid.... I'm straightforward when a guy asks me for my number, if I'm not interested I won't even tell him my name... I'll just let him know straight up that I just wanna have fun and not hook up...

So maybe I'm trying to give out some advice here, rather than ask a question.. Unless my assumption is wrong, would you please NOT ask for a girl's number unless you're ACTUALLY interested? Yeeshhhh. Our egos can take it, really.

--- edit

I realise that came off as a rant... feel free to answer that though.. i'm honestly curious, is my assumption right? Just uninterested but trying to make me feel better?

[Guest lostieee]

Does FWB work? If it doesn't, which side tend to lose? I've intimately slept with a guy that I'm madly attracted to (vise verse) though we're both not down for a commitment. What can/can't you do in a FWB relationship? Are there ground rules we have to address before anything else?

[Guest chambichamboo]

ok so there's this guy at school whom i've been crushing on since the first day that I saw him.. so yeah he doesn't look at me and ignores me .. but then one day on my way to class.. I saw him and he saw me too and we had an eye to eye contact  and since then seems like he started noticing me and all....and his friends would stare at me ...and one of his friends seems to even know my schedule coz he pops out of everywhere and walks by our room even my crush does this too.. .. so I don't wanna jump to conclusions or anything .. but what does this mean?? does his friends like me or my crush likes me?

[_siku_]

Does FWB work? If it doesn't, which side tend to lose? I've intimately slept with a guy that I'm madly attracted to (vise verse) though we're both not down for a commitment. What can/can't you do in a FWB relationship? Are there ground rules we have to address before anything else?

It depends on everyone, sometimes it work, sometimes it doesn't. There aren't really any ground rules that you have to address before anything else, but you might fall in love with the other person, now that's going to be a problem. Try to keep/protect yourself from getting hurt. 

*lala*

Girls lies and possibly do the same thing too. 

ok so there's this guy at school whom i've been crushing on since the first day that I saw him.. so yeah he doesn't look at me and ignores me .. but then one day on my way to class.. I saw him and he saw me too and we had an eye to eye contact  and since then seems like he started noticing me and all....and his friends would stare at me ...and one of his friends seems to even know my schedule coz he pops out of everywhere and walks by our room even my crush does this too.. .. so I don't wanna jump to conclusions or anything .. but what does this mean?? does his friends like me or my crush likes me?

Imo, they are interested and want to be friends/talk to you. 

[Guest chambichamboo]

It depends on everyone, sometimes it work, sometimes it doesn't. There aren't really any ground rules that you have to address before anything else, but you might fall in love with the other person, now that's going to be a problem. Try to keep/protect yourself from getting hurt. 

Girls lies and possibly do the same thing too. 

Imo, they are interested and want to be friends/talk to you. 

SORRY FOR THIS KIND OF LONG POST..please bear with it ..

really??.. so you're saying they ALL like me?.. i've only got a crush on one of those guys and now they ALL seems to like me? and what's weird is that one of his friends seems to know my class schedule coz he usually pops out everywere i go and really STARE at me lol...same thing with my crush .. :blush: ... an update yesterday..1st thing that happened .I was approaching my class in the morning when i saw him and his friends and they saw me too but i just ignored them and went in to the classroom and  little did i know we didn't have a class and some few people were only there , and  then my crush went by our classroom and sang a few lines from a cheesy love song that seems like he was singing it  too loud for us to hear ,even some people in the classroom laughed at this caused he was so cheesy.so is it just a coicidence that he sang that cheesy love song when i got there??.... then the next thing that happened  in the afternoon: I saw one of his friends around the area and i had a huge feeling  that my crush was also  somewhere in the area also.. so I was simply scanning  the area and poof ! i didn't noticed where they came from but  they suddenly pop out and  i saw some of his friends including my crush .. lol..i was few feet away from them  then  i caught my t crush looking at me and so was his  friends..  i was trying to maintain eye contact but i turned  shy and turned away.. but yeah all those staring from them makes me some kind of conscious ..    

[Guest __CHINA.DOLL]

DELETED.

[Guest _YooMi]

^ you should tell him that what he said was mean and your feeling was hurt. Just because he is older and more intelligent, doesn't make it okay for him to say that to you.

[Guest BROKENheaven]

How do you guys deal with a persistent guy/slight stalker? A new 'friend' who wont stop asking you out, calling, texting, etc, even if you obvious show no interest in them and have rejected them like 5 times? Please dont tell me to confront/talk to them about it because they never actually admitted that they like me. Should I just completely stop replying to text messages? (i only reply to 1 out of 7 to not seem like a total richard simmons) I haven't picked up a single call from the person...

[Guest Chilshikakun]

So my question is: What are some ways that I could check if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly?Especially when it comes to super confusing situation. I'm pretty true forward but I know making a move with that kind of personality would ruin everything. I don't want to be too aggressive and like "So, sup, I'm pretty sure i have a crush on you " ahahaha.

Thank you in advance, so much :')

[_siku_]

So my question is: What are some ways that I could check if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly?Especially when it comes to super confusing situation. I'm pretty true forward but I know making a move with that kind of personality would ruin everything. I don't want to be too aggressive and like "So, sup, I'm pretty sure i have a crush on you " ahahaha.

Thank you in advance, so much :')

Imo, observe the things that the guy do toward you and how he act toward other girls. For example, some guys pay extra attention to the girls they like when it's come to texting, asking to hang out,etc. Also, show that you are interested toward him and see how he reacts? 

SORRY FOR THIS KIND OF LONG POST..please bear with it ..

really??.. so you're saying they ALL like me?.. i've only got a crush on one of those guys and now they ALL seems to like me? and what's weird is that one of his friends seems to know my class schedule coz he usually pops out everywere i go and really STARE at me lol...same thing with my crush .. :blush: ... an update yesterday..1st thing that happened .I was approaching my class in the morning when i saw him and his friends and they saw me too but i just ignored them and went in to the classroom and  little did i know we didn't have a class and some few people were only there , and  then my crush went by our classroom and sang a few lines from a cheesy love song that seems like he was singing it  too loud for us to hear ,even some people in the classroom laughed at this caused he was so cheesy.so is it just a coicidence that he sang that cheesy love song when i got there??.... then the next thing that happened  in the afternoon: I saw one of his friends around the area and i had a huge feeling  that my crush was also  somewhere in the area also.. so I was simply scanning  the area and poof ! i didn't noticed where they came from but  they suddenly pop out and  i saw some of his friends including my crush .. lol..i was few feet away from them  then  i caught my t crush looking at me and so was his  friends..  i was trying to maintain eye contact but i turned  shy and turned away.. but yeah all those staring from them makes me some kind of conscious ..    

Well I'm not really saying they all like you. It's possible that they want to be your friends. Also, it could be that your crush is just singing for fun? Or get attention from other girls? Next time they look at you, smile and see how it goes. 

How do you guys deal with a persistent guy/slight stalker? A new 'friend' who wont stop asking you out, calling, texting, etc, even if you obvious show no interest in them and have rejected them like 5 times? Please dont tell me to confront/talk to them about it because they never actually admitted that they like me. Should I just completely stop replying to text messages? (i only reply to 1 out of 7 to not seem like a total richard simmons) I haven't picked up a single call from the person...

Stop replying to their text messages. Usually I just be mean toward them and tell them I'm busy or have plans already so please stop asking me to hang out. 

[Guest minjin]

Hi =/

i need some advice on something really strange maybe? Me and my boyfriend have been together since a year, living with his mum. At the beginning it was the worst ever.....she continued to yell around, about things i didnt understand (cause we are not from the same country). My feeling about her changed drastically after the first months, from liking it became the opposite.

Anyways after some time she turned to normal again, but my feelings for her never changed after that. I still am to shy in front of her, i dont even look in her eyes.

Now this year we finally wanted to move out to another city...i thought wow so i can have my own apartment with my boyfriend ane we can cuddle around like we want. Wrong....

Since her husband is living in a apartment which chief is financing him and the older brother of my boyfriend doesnt care, we have to took care of her. She cant speak the language where we live, so she needs us whenever she has to go somewhere. She doesnt work anymore, cause she says she has pains...but she cleans and moves around a lot.

I dont know i agreed that she can live with us, because i feel bad if i say no and she is all alone. Am i doing the right thing?

[Guest selinaym]

How do I comfort people both irl and when they text/call me? I don't know what to do or say when this happens. I really can't handle serious/personal conversations, it's too uncomfortable for me; but since they're my friends, I have and want to be there for them.

[_siku_]

How do I comfort people both irl and when they text/call me? I don't know what to do or say when this happens. I really can't handle serious/personal conversations, it's too uncomfortable for me; but since they're my friends, I have and want to be there for them.

Sometimes you just have to be there and listen to them, and that's good enough. Most of the time when they call/text you to tell you their problems, most likely they are looking for someone to listen to. 

Usually when my friends rant or tell me their personal problems, I listen and after they finish, I will say "Feel better now? Isn't it good to let all that out?" =]

Hi =/ 

i need some advice on something really strange maybe? Me and my boyfriend have been together since a year, living with his mum. At the beginning it was the worst ever.....she continued to yell around, about things i didnt understand (cause we are not from the same country). My feeling about her changed drastically after the first months, from liking it became the opposite. 

Anyways after some time she turned to normal again, but my feelings for her never changed after that. I still am to shy in front of her, i dont even look in her eyes.

Now this year we finally wanted to move out to another city...i thought wow so i can have my own apartment with my boyfriend ane we can cuddle around like we want. Wrong....

Since her husband is living in a apartment which chief is financing him and the older brother of my boyfriend doesnt care, we have to took care of her. She cant speak the language where we live, so she needs us whenever she has to go somewhere. She doesnt work anymore, cause she says she has pains...but she cleans and moves around a lot. 

I dont know i agreed that she can live with us, because i feel bad if i say no and she is all alone. Am i doing the right thing?

You are doing the right thing. Think about this, it's your BOYFRIEND's mom, and I don't know how old are you but it's possible that one day she will become your mother in law. She is old, she doesn't speak the language, she can't really do anything except chores around the house. Put yourself in her position and think how would she feel. She would want to be around her husband or her children right? 

Also, try to get along with her. I understand she yelled you and your feelings toward her isn't good. But you know, old people hahaha think how parents sometimes yell at you then the next day, they act like nothing happened! Just hang on and treat her nicely, I'm sure it will get better =D