How Do You Get Over A Rejection/breakup

[Guest itsannies]

its okay. i've had somethign similar happen to me just recently, and i dont feel sad either. i felt disappointed, both in myself and the guy but then i thought, its all good. we're all still young, and got a lifetime ahead of us. its okay to not cry, but when you do feel like crying, it feels so much better afterwards. for me, even though he played me, i was just like, whatever, its cool, as long as he's happy, cause thats the kind of person i am. all i can tell you is time will do its thing, and remember that not every guy you meet will be like him, i'm sure you have other guy friends that are wonderful and awesome that wouldnt do such things. so yeah, keep your head up. better days are here to come!

[Guest D_K]

Like,OMFG! He was your 9th bf in the last what? I'm guessing by the level of maturity in your post that you're still in high school. You collect boyfriends the way I collect ties. No wonder there is no emotion in breaking up with Peter to go out with Paul.

[Guest k25]

One day, one day you're break out. You'll cry your butt off, and you won't be able to stop crying. But while you feel nothing, have fun!

[Guest Harbl]

i just ended up going on a MAD shopping spree and got everything brand new. i spent like $2,000 usd . and i couldnt stop eating sweet stuff(i'm talking about the expensive kind. it was like 15 for a little peice of cake). i dont even like sweet stuff !!, like ice cream, cakes, yogurts. i've been spending the same amount that i have been earning. and i smoked and drank even more.

but meanwhile i dont even feel like crying... i just feel like i'm having empty fun... i dont know how to explain. like yeah i'm laughing i feel like i finally have freedom... but i'm not hppy, nor am i sad. i just feel ..'NOTHING' NO MATTER WHAT I'M DOING. i cant even focus anymore on ANYTHING. and nothing mattered...whether good or bad news. out of the blue i dont even remember how it happened really...i started a 4 day relationship with this guy. when he wanted to see me i just felt like wth ... i dont want to see him... and even though i had nothing else to do i pretended to everyone that i was busy. the guy tried to kiss me and i just pushed him away nd said no even though he was my so called bf. and our 4 day relationship ended right there.

anyone had this feeling after break up?

No i've never had that much fun (oh, empty fun how you're my favourite kind) after a break up. Don't feel you have to act a certain way though, just let your feelings run their true course and if they don't come, then be happy.

[Guest Kira_Hyuu]

Look to be honest i think ur lying...how can u not be sad and want to cry....like the only real reason ur wasting ur money on cheap thrills is that ur trying to get over that jerk who lied...now how can that happen....if he was so meaningless and u like detest him....why u doing this to urself....obviously ur regretful and you know that it was the relationship u were looking for but events just took an awful twist....

Honestly if ur as emotionless as u speak when it came to breaking up; you should be just normal like now. Like going out with ur friends, getting a job, learning new stuff but ur just wasting ur life atm....Go and find someone that actually cares for u nd not just think a relationship is all u...because if u find someone that actually cares for u and the relationship is mutual there won't be this messy lying cheating crap...

hehe anyways best of luck nd take care....

[Guest HtyPotter]

i guess karma does exist

all those guys you dumped just cuz you lost feeling for them

how about make sure of your feeling before you actually date a person for a change

he cheated, you need move on

in time you will feel less attached

Co-signed.

I'm pretty sure it's just your pride that took a hit. You're so proud that you're the one to have dumped other people rather than you being dumped, but this one felt a bit corrupted to you because you apparently weren't ready to stop using him yet. Even though you didn't even like him all that much. Look, I'm sure he seemed like a nice guy, but having dated 9 people and not expecting one of them to cheat on you is pretty silly. I think it's about time you started taking yourself a little more seriously anyway, and stop getting boyfriends and switching boyfriends whenever your mood changes. You were due for a life lesson.

[Guest babybuggyY2K]

dude i'm not proud to have dumped my ex boyfriends it has nothing to do with my pride. ... in fact i dumped this 9th boyfriend of mine because of trust issues i have with him. and no.. i'm serious in all my relationships. i'm not switching boyfriends all the time... my first relationship was long term then a couple of them in between was 'high school loves' and the rest was long term. and i'm not sad.. nor am i happy... i'm just empty...as in i have fun going to clubs and bars but to me it doesnt mean anything..i still feel nothing no matter what i'm doing. i went on a mad shopping spree cause i didnt want to go back to his place and get my stuff .. i'm disgusted looking at that place at the same time the happiness we used to have seemed so real and it so disappointing to find out that it's all lies.

i'm just really upset and confused on why it isnt hurting me. i know that i still love him though.

and no i'm not in high school anymore.

[simplii_forevah]

i guess karma does exist

all those guys you dumped just cuz you lost feeling for them

how about make sure of your feeling before you actually date a person for a change

he cheated, you need move on

in time you will feel less attached

what she said.

[Guest koneee]

I think it's the fact that you know you were cheated on (knowing your bf rather spend time with another girl than spending all of his time with you) and that's why you feel the way you feel. I think you just need time to sit it out and pick up some new things (hobbies etc) to occupy your mind besides thinking about your ex.

[Guest twig*star]

you need happy hormones.

sso shopping and food is where you are getting yours. do some exercise instead!!

because right now (obviously) you are depressed and those buggered up hormones are going rampant.

also possibly due to lack of control in this relationship, you dont feel everything is tied up properly where you can tuck everything away into a little box called the past like you did with all those exes.

you need to work on yourself. being lonely sucks but the codependency stench that is coming off you in waves makes me cringe. =P

[Guest tengy]

i und how ur feeling right now.... get a part time job ...

im working everyday right now.... and when im home ill do the house chores and with that, i dont have spare time to think of anythin.

at the end of the day ur just too tired to even think bout those richard simmons he did.

i went tru it for 3 months.... then he came back and left again so now im all alone by myself.

the 3 months were empty. i dont even know where was i heading and i kinda lost my way without him... i did so many things i wished i could take it all back and live my life properly.

i told myself i cant cry or ill never be able to get over it.

and i hope you can be even stronger than me cuz im trying to get over him too but i never succeeded.

whatever you do, please realize that hurtin yourself means nothing to him.

the best way is to live your life properly and let him know ur gonna be okay without him.

dont ever think bout stuffs like he will come back to you etc etc or else you will never be able to move on.

i know its hard , goodluck and stay strong.

[Guest dafleur]

i guess karma does exist

all those guys you dumped just cuz you lost feeling for them

how about make sure of your feeling before you actually date a person for a change

give me a fuqing break. that's what happens in relationships... you can grow apart from each other and feelings can change. this is a common occurance, especially when you're young like most people here on soompi. you guys are still growing and finding yourselves, of course your feelings for a SO are going to change over time. if that wasn't the case, everyone would be married to their HS sweetheart, have 2.5kids and live happily ever after in their suburban home.

ANYWAY

feeling completely empty after a breakup is natural. it's like you're so sad, you can't even cry anymore and you're totally emotionless. to get over this, take time for yourself to 'mourn', but don't become totally anti-social. go out with friends, take up a new hobby, etc etc. after time, you'll be back on your feet again.

[Guest endoftheworld]

I'm going out with someone who treats me like trash.

I'm so disgusted by his actions. My hatred for him has escalated to the point where I no longer want to contact him, even if it is to tell him that we're over.

I have some stuff over his house that I want to get back... what should I do? if I contact him, he'll think I'm using it as an excuse to talk to him..

What sucks is that he'll get over me so easily... or perhaps he's already over it..

What should I do? Talk to him and work things out... and avoid the heartache... because I still have feelings for him.. OR MOVE ON??? and How???

I'm heartbroken.

[Guest Duey]

Call him and tell him he is a complete bubble gum head. In your angry voice. It always make me feel better yellin at the person, its to let them know that you have enough of their bullsh*t.

[Guest carbonyl]

Now I truly realized what a JERK boyfriend he is, and I no longer want anything to do with him. My hatred for him has escalated to the point where i don't want to contact him whatsoever, even if it is to say that we're breaking up.

Good thing to know

I'm just really sad that he doesn't care about me as much as I care about him.......I keep thinking about him and worrying that he will find someone else.. but it sucks because I know he will forget me so quickly

Why give him the time of day when hes a jerk. You wouldn't give a jerk on the street the same consideration. If he doesn't care about you, you shouldn't care about him. There's plenty of people to give your love to, possibly people you may have neglected or not kept in touch with.

Should I just go on with my life, be single, and not talk to him period? Or do I need to tell him that we're no longer in a relationship?

The only reason you would need to do this is to provide closure for yourself. If you don't need the closure then there is no need to tell him. Unless, you want to call him up and cuss him out for being such a jerk, then there may be a need to tell him.

... and I have some things at his house I need to get back.. what do i do? If I talk to him (even if it is to ask for my things back), he will think that I'm trying to find an excuse to talk to him..

If you really need the stuff, call him and tell him you want them back. Do not meet up with him since that didn't really work out. Ask him for a time to come to his place to pick up your belongings and while you are at it, tell him if he didn't realize why you are picking up your stuff, ITS OVERRR!. If those belongings aren't of major importance, just leave them there so you don't have to see his jerk face again.

I suck at being strong. I'm a weak weak person when it comes to breakups.

Here is your chance to be strong. Cliche line....you need to take a step in order to walk on the path of change. This may be your first step to becoming a stronger person. Also nobody "sucks" at being strong. Everybody is strong, it's just if you realize it or not

On a side note, how long were you together? If it was 1 year+ then it will take at least a month to heal. You should probably keep yourself busy with a good friend or a hobby.

[Guest Sleepy213]

Your just on the stage where you don't care about anything.

It's kinda yikes when you said you dumped couple of ex's because you lost interest in them.

You will eventually move on and start going back to yourself.

Your just so afraid of relationship that you want to stay away and be free for abit.

How long does that take?

We can't tell you this..YOU should know.

SO let me ask you. How long are you gonna take?

[Guest 7thprincess]

Leave him, get your mini cooper back. And enjoy your new found single independent life.

[Mrs.Winchester]

i think the depth of your pain has alot to do with the time you've spent together, the type of relationship you shared with them, and how the relationship ended.... my first relationship with my first love lasted 1.5 yrs and we parted because one of us moved across the world and with other more complicated issues we mutually separated even tho both of us did not want to. it was what was best.

from personal experience,

-i started reading alot,

-listening to audio books,

-going out ALOT for WALKS(not clubbing nor drinking)

-altho i wanted to at the time, but i never had a chance.

-catching up with friends you havent seen in a long time, youd be surprised how nice it is to see people you've missed and hadnt had time for before

-change something about yourself, if your a girl, i read in this psychology paper that cutting your hair a different -style, changing hair colour, or dressing up on random occasions does wonder for the female psyche.

-when you feel frustrated or chocked , by that i mean if you feel the need to do something outta nowhere . call your best friend and go out for a walk, doesnt matter what time. or just go out to your back yard and take a few breathes.

- if you have time. GO TO THE GYM, go for a swim at the pool, or the sauna. its amazing what endorphins can do to how you feel

- NOT FOR EVERYONE. if you parted ways on good terns , stay in touch with the person you broke up with, talk everynow and then, there is nothing that helps someone heal better tha closure.

and the best healer of them all. ...., TIME... give yourself time.

i ll write more later i hope this help

[Mrs.Winchester]

On a side note, how long were you together? If it was 1 year+ then it will take at least a month to heal. You should probably keep yourself busy with a good friend or a hobby.

this is gonna sound sooooooo freakin highschoolish of me. buuuuttt...okay here it goes. BUT

on SEX and the CITY they say that it usually takes around HALF of the time to Fully get over someone.... :blush: okay now you can laugh

so if someone was in a relation ship for 1+it should take them around 4-6 months to completely get oversomeone... but i guess theres never such a thing as completely...

[Guest take180girl]

For those of you grieving heart break, sometimes you just need to get it off your chest.

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Let me know what you think of the site and say hi if you see me in the threads!

Taylor—Take180