kimnabong
-
Posts
1,613 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Posts posted by kimnabong
-
-
5 hours ago, xxPeepsxx said:
So I guess @kimnabong, your SeHee was never going to run to you after all. You had to go after him.
HAHAHAHA. OMG. But he did. LOL.
SpoilerI must have been crazier than Ji Ho because the push and pulls were so complex between us. TBH, it felt like an empty act on his part. It was almost as if he was only trying to save us. He was only trying to follow the lines of his life. It wasn't me. My room 19 really was an impending train wreck and if he wanted to ride that nonetheless, it would take a lot of sacrifice on his part. It will mess up his lines. It took some serious Jong Min-ness to clarify my room 19 and ask him straight if he understood what he was putting himself into by acting like he was choosing me... and that was the end of the line for us and the rest is history. But it really is all good. He has a Ji Ho now
-
3
-
-
1 hour ago, chickfactor said:
Marriage Contract
The purpose of this contract is for a rational and harmonious married life between Nam Se Hee (hereinafter "husband") and Yoon Ji Ho (hereinafter "wife), and the rules governing their co-habitation:
1. Marriage defined.
In here, "marriage" means that a man and a woman become an official married couple, and are in a legally sanctioned marital relationship.
2. The purpose of this contract.
This contract's purpose is for when there is a dispute regarding Husband and Wife's conditions and rules, that there is a method and a set of rules for a legitimate and harmonious compromise.
3. The meaning of married couple.
Husband and wife, in order to manage their married life, will place these objectives as priorities:
1. What maintains this marriage is not law, nor custom, but love for each other.
2. If there is an emergency or danger, each guardian will do their best to observe their respective duty.
3. For the sake of peaceful existence of the other, they will not interfere, nor be possessive.
4. The rules of married life.
Husband and Wife will comply with the following three rules:
1. They have each paid 1/2 of the deposit, so this villa is in both their names. As such, the rights and responsibilities concerning the villa are also mutually shared. As such, all business matters regarding the house is distributed evenly.
2. On Thanksgiving, each will travel to their respective family homes and spend it separately.
3. Participation in the celebrations of the other's family is strictly up to personal choice. If after participation, there is any misunderstanding, they must do their best to solve it with the person directly responsible before returning to the home.
4. Filial behavior towards each's parents will not be shared with the spouse.
5. Show maximum consideration for each other's personal life (personal work-related matters, personal hobbies, etc.)
6. Household life will conform with these rules.
It's their own version of a vow <3
-
9
-
1
-
-
10 minutes ago, stroppyse said:
I agree that I don't think their use of polite forms of speaking with each other was distancing in any ways. If anything, it heightens how much they respect and cherish each other.
i also agree with you about how the sharp changes of the mood really help to balance the drama. the comic relief has been very consistent all throughout. i especially liked that part when Jiho made a pretty cake and she hated the comment of the instructor.
One of the most memorable things for me about this drama is the reversals. i noticed now too that in ep16 Jh's perspective is seen as jovial while Sh's has the depressing tone. It's a complete switch from when Se Hee was the comic robotic one, and Jh the pensive poet. Then ep15 was all about them being melancholic apart. Then finally when they were together in their new villa, everything is comic and jovial. It shows a lot of consistency in characterization. Jh hated empty togetherness whereas Sh didn't mind the initial contract set up because the core of it is being together. I'm so inspired that they finally settled down a good compromise.
(seriously, can i just be this couple so my entire life can be fixed?) hehe.
-
11
-
3
-
-
7 minutes ago, ahhhjummahhhjo said:
I love this scene so much. And they’re speaking informally, yes?
yes that's right. they're speaking informally. i love how ji ho is so cat like towards se hee. they're so sweet!
to me it really looks like puuung's works now. i wish puuung would do one with a massage chair.
*puuung - graphics animator
btw that instagram post is.. cake to every shipper. it's delicious bts.
-
8
-
-
20 minutes ago, ahhhjummahhhjo said:
Hi! Good... morning?
I'd like to think the first kiss led to sexytimes, then power naps, then another round, then power naps. They probably had some sort of snack or ginseng in between. Then round 3. Then a long stretch of sleep, then the scene about the chicken.
I love that after that moment, not only have blown the doors off of the Room 19s but also the respective Pandora's boxes--sexytimes for Ji Ho, and sexy smiles and laughs for Se Hee.
totally plausible. Plus jiho changed from a heavy grey sweater down to a flimsy white top. so yes. and i kind of like to add lots of cute and power convos too that lead to the power naps and more.
by the way, no condoms were harmed during the tangerine harming, right? i don't think it'd add up given the depressive mode SH was on for those months!
good morning!
25 minutes ago, stroppyse said:whether the jondaemal is distancing or not is really dependent on how the couple talk to each other
sorry to cut your post that i love (always)
surely for Jh and Sh during the breakfast kiss scene, the "yo" was in no way a form of distancing. It was really cute when Ji ho answered to the breakfast question with: "no i don't-yo"
-
4
-
3
-
-
6 hours ago, ahhhjummahhhjo said:
Not only did they forgo breakfast, they were pretty much in bed THE. ENTIRE. DAY. i doubt it was all sleep, though.
Make-up sexytimes! Only to almost be spoiled by Omurice. LOL
lol it was not just breakfast foregone. lunch as well. Ji Ho literally had to negotiate getting him to eat dinner. say he slept throughout much of it... i can be satisfied with seeing just that day. them talking about feelings. then cuddling and hugging. and uhm, other stuff. argh it felt so natural and beautiful.
-
15
-
1
-
-
5 hours ago, angelflower said:
JH (voiceover): 3 years ago, we submitted our marriage application. And with that, we also wrote a new contract.
"Marriage Contract"
SH: Both of us will each share half the cost of the mortgage of this villa, which is possessed by and under both our names. Any objections?
JH: Nope! (reads) "During festivals, each will go to our own house, spend time there and return." This is a bit..
SH: Why? Is there a problem?
JH: Won't this be hard? Going by the standard practice in Korea, it would be difficult for them to accept our separate greetings...
SH: Because it's not really a greeting, but inappropriate labour. Didn't we go through the last time? Do you remember how sorry and awkward we were for the entire week after? I don't want to go through that kind of atmosphere with you again. Besides, what's so important about the standard practices in Korea? Our standard practice is more important.
JH: Okay. Deal. It goes against our main prerequisite anyway.
JH (voiceover): Although we review the contents every year, the prerequisite remains the same. Our love goes first.
They move to the sofa in front of the TV.
JH (voiceover): Of course it's not something normal. The first time we went to our own house for a festival, I got a phone call from Mother(-in-law) and my dad flipped the table. But that was all. Nothing bigger than that happened. (SH puts his head on JH's lap) We just became the ddorai couple in front of others, and lived up to that by staying truthful to our lives. Marriage or non-marriage, whether we submit the marriage application or not - nothing serious really happened whatever the choice we made.
SH gets up to change the channel: The broadcast is starting (JH's drama).
They both take a swig of beer.
JH (voiceover): The important thing is, no matter the situation...
SH: JH-yah...
JH: Mmm?
SH: (turns to look at her) I love you.
JH (voiceover): I am with this person next to me, in this moment.
JH: Me too.
They look at each other and kiss.
JH (voiceover): That is why today too, we choose to love first.
JH's drama seems to be their story as their bus stop meeting shows... and the title of this drama comes up.
The 3 couples are walking together near a bus stop, and WS is carrying a baby in his arms. JH sees the bus coming and they run to catch it.
JH (voiceover): And to all of you who are living right now, I wish you, "Bon courage (Take heart)" with all my sincerity. Because this life is our first.
----------------------
My heart is FILLED. Warm fuzzies all over. I'm so glad I checked out this show on a whim. This has been an amazing ride. Thank you for all your support! Everyone, bon courage!
this is beautiful. i'm realizing that... perhaps is this drama also the writer's life?
Ji ho's voiceover felt like the writers message to us.
-
12
-
-
ok last before i call it a night.... those kisses as prelude to sexytimes. it must have been some really good s*x because their emotions were so heightened. Good job Ji ho ya. Good job. Congratulations for an epic "first toot".
Thank you for the giffs!
-
5
-
9
-
-
3 minutes ago, meiil said:
This work so well! Should we send it to TVN already ?
yes please! I mean I can never write as well as writer nim so really, consider this post a waiver, just in case they're afraid of any copyright infingement for the future.
writer nim, pd-nim, if you'e here, i don't mind. Please use the above ideas. Those are public domain. Kekeke
ok. i beg you for season 2. please?
-
8
-
-
5 minutes ago, angelflower said:
"Family is a gift" was a rebuke to me. Marriage is something that shines brilliantly.
so going by one beautiful post mentioned earlier somewhere here in this thread, the drama went by the final conclusion that both love and marriage are sacred.
Aigoo. Should I be abandoning my celibacy then? My heart is fluterring because of this drama. I'm marrying this drama.
-
2
-
11
-
-
oh oh oh and we can include ajhumma sex talk in some of the scenes. you know like those reply 1988 ahjummas chatting as they (always) cook dinner except since it's 2017, the girls are probably doing the ahjumma talk as they do groceries together or in a cafe.
-
6
-
7
-
-
I think writer nim is here now (delulu) so let's try to start the premise for season 2.
It's about the journey to having kids. Ho rang already has kids and she goes through post partum fears and issues. SJ and Jh still don't have kids. Sj is afraid that her kid will suffer becaude they are a busy couple. Jh and Sh have been trying but haven't succeeded yet and the parents are putting so much pressure on them. Sh partially doesn't really want to because he's afraid pregnancies are too dangerous for women and doesn't want to put his beloved wife in any harm. Jh wants to and she knows that Sh is not just afraid for her health, he's afraid of miscarriages and afraid that if he does have a kid, he'll be like his dad. I can see our tears and our laughs already. It can include baby sitting times for Uncle Sh and Aunt Jh. it can include some bgm reprisal too.
-
16
-
4
-
1
-
-
17 minutes ago, ahhhjummahhhjo said:
Drama ended almost an hour ago and I am still here on the thread reading comments or on YouTube rewatching clips.
Favorite things:
1. The bed crying confession
2. His face while drinking beer and Ji Ho appeared behind the laundry.
3. Him losing his temper
4. Banmal (though A tiny wish for a Se Hee Ya from Ji Ho was left unfilfilled but ok)
5. The bed cuddling. I think him cuddling her after the chicken statement was almost an nG. He was on the verge of giggling.
6. Him blowing kisses on the phone
7. Him humming
8. Him giving his wife ginseng while she was writing.
9. Their house!!!
10. Their photos!!!
11. Him laying his head on her lap while watching. At first I was like, why sit so far from your love?! And then he laid his head down on her lap. Heheheh
12. The saranghae moment!!!!!!!
13. Him taking care of her
14. The wedding run to the bus. So perfect.
Minor complaint—they shouldn’t have spent money on a massage chair. Those things are pricey. But hey, PPL. But missed opportunity for Se Hee to give his tired wife a massage. Hahahahha
also i found it so adorable how Jung So Min was like swallowed up
by that chair!
I haven’t focused on SJ, SG, HR, and WS yet. Was too focused on the main leads. Can’t wait for subs!!!
not ready to let goooooo.
no. 11 is also a role reversal! I really thought Ji Ho was a replacement to Cat on his lap so now that he's in a way that cat on JH's lap, it's double the fun. writing so good i'm incoherent. i love how they carefully put a similar bit as Jh's dad slept on omma's lap. It echoed "forever" for me. I love that the ending scene is watching tv. I swear we've called this out here on the threads before. I think we're psychics. or writer nim is here lurking.
p.s. they could totally afford the chair since Jh is writing again. They could even afford to travel! Buying a cheaper house must have been so lucrative. They saved a lot.
Dear friends, what did JM say in her text message to Jh? Why was she congratulating her about something related to a movie?
-
12
-
-
12 minutes ago, teep523 said:
100% my thoughts!!! I'm so satisfied with the ending cos we finally got SH and JH comfortably talking with each other, letting their guard down, being angry with each other, doing couple stuff. ALL I WANTED!!
and yes season 2 please. omg season 2 all about the struggles of young married couples. !!!!
Did anyone here mention that at the wrap-up party(see photo below), the banner behind LMK said:
"If you're available.. Would you please do a Season 2?" (It's a spoof of one of SH's famous lines from the drama, said in a formal style like how he would say it when asking someone else if they had time to do sth lol) The banner is from LMK's Official Fan Cafe. so cute! it would be amazing if they actually go ahead with a season 2. And age of youth (another great tvn drama) actually did a season 2 cos it was so popular!! there's hope
thank you! Running off to instagram to place my foreigner vote! edit: encourages everyone to help me make the foreigner votes more impactful by the numbers.
being angry! it was so relieving and satisfying and comforting. I just love that they're so comfortable with each other. and humming Se Hee! OMG
-
7
-
-
- Popular Post
I have never loved a ppl this much. that ginseng bit was just too cute. when SH opened it then put it in her mouth and then when she finished he squeezed the last drops out that he took it in his mouth and drank all of it too. omg this is totally a homage to that scene Ji Ho was writing where the actor drank ginseng even though they thought he was going to kiss the actress. And yet it's such an authentic couple moment that I just love it so much. The fact that SH is so sure that his wife spaces out when she's writing so he feeds her. The indirect ginseng kiss!
the ginseng company can cut that clip and use it for future ads. gordon ramsey can move out of the way for all i care.
-
17
-
9
-
13 minutes ago, angelflower said:
Hark! SoMinKi's epic kiss <3 (Min Ki's Room 19 Opens + Whining)
SH: That's not what I'm saying. Where did you go? Where have you been?
JH: Insadong.
SH: In...sa... dong?
SH breathes and slowly loses it.
JH: Are you...mad?
SH: No.
JH: Really? You're not mad?
SH: Yes. I'm not losing my temper.
JH: No, but it looks like you are losing your temper.
SH: I'M NOT LOSING IT! MY TEMPER! Insadong?? How can you not contact me once when you were in Insadong? How could you not even come ONCE when you were so near?! Do you know how much I missed you? How difficult it was for me?!
JH smiles and lets out a little laugh.
SH: You're laughing? Why are you laughing? How can you laugh after making someone so crazy that he sold his house?!
JH: You lost your temper. It's the first time you're saying this. You're telling me your feelings for the first time - how much you missed me, what a hard time you had. Thank you for opening your Room 19. I'm sorry that I left you when you were having a hard time. Should I give you a hug?
SH: I don't know! (HAHAHAHA)
SH sits on the bed.
JH: What do you mean you don't know? Come on, I'll give you a hug.
SH: Forget it. Why are you being like this?
JH: Why...come on, let me hug you.
SH: I don't want to! Don't come near me!
JH: Ayyy come here...
SH: Seriously!
He topples her over and pins her down on the bed.
SH: I told you not to come near me. Is it ok if you don't eat anymore for breakfast?
JH: I don't have to eat anymore for breakfast.
KISSESSSSS.
i wish the bgm for when they kissed was an instrumental version of that song in slow motion usinh trumpets and flutes and all those sexy sounds. hahahhahahaha daaaaaaang!
p.s. Dear mods, I'm so sorry but it's really hard to delete the video on my smartphone
the buttons just don't work
-
12
-
-
I got everything I needed! Almost.
SH laugh as in really laugh.
Se Hee's full blown smile.
The warmly colored house.
Their giggles.
The "Saranghae. Manhi." from both sides.
The saranghae manhi on the bed!
Tearful kisses! OMG that morning after smexy time and a tear fell down SH's eye! This is dejavu! Hahaha
The Sexytimes!!! (though i wish they were naked during that omu rice conversation hahaha. or that at least JH was wearing the yellow sweater instead of se hee.)
They finally talked about stuff.
i got everything! And neatly too!
And the ppl as the ultimate comic relief is so good. LOL at the ginseng.
I got everything... except kids.
I need a season 2. I need a "because this is my first life season2" that's allll about the hardships of being married and not just getting married. Season 1 - getting married. Season 2 -being married.
i love the role reversals!
When JH was asking for a hug and SH was sulky- role reversal!
When SJ casually proposed wearing such cool androgynous clothes - role reversal!
When HR proposed- role reversal!
All three girls are finally married to the greatest guys! Hahaha
I can' stop loving this drama. it hurts so bad that it's over. I want to keep crying. huhu. i need season 2. where can i officially plant that vote?
-
16
-
-
41 minutes ago, lollyminx said:
Now that I think about it, how will she manage removing those thigh high boots when she enters the restaurant, and putting them on again when it's time to leave?
She looks awesome though. From her old pictures, she really has this bold sense of style that suits her.she looks so hot that i wonder how se hee will be able to keep to himself. the hair rocks. i wonder if she'll sport it in the finale as well.
-
5
-
3
-
-
3 hours ago, rembrandtz_5e20 said:
I withheld my comments until I've watched the subs cos I've been proven wrong so many times before about this show when I watched live stream, and I'm glad I did. Maybe it was so deja vu for me, I felt like I could hear her internal monologues through out this episode as I watched it, even though she did not voice it out sometimes.
We tend to side with SH for the past two episodes, because we feel what he feels and sees what he does for JH, but JH doesn't know, and SH didn't tell. Therefore...
When JH gave SH a chance to say what he wanted to say and he said nothing...
"Ah, I guess I was wrong that he might have loved me" ( Did you hear her heart break?)
When she called SH from her room...
"Can you please please say something, please...." (Do you know she was pleading for him to say he loves her because she doesn't want to leave?)
When SH did all the chores the morning after...
"He is so ready to move on. He doesn't need me around anymore."
When SH's father said people marry because their conditions are compatible and JH appeared at the right time for SH and she was a nice girl....
"Yes, he is probably right. I was just there for him at the right time." (But she loves him so much, she doesn't want to be 'the one that was just there for him', she doesn't want herself to be 'a fortunate opportunity', to her, love is a conscious choice)
When she finds out SH wanted to propose to her...
"Why is he doing this now? Is he doing this just because I am there for him? Or does he really love me? Even at this point, he never said it to me"
When SG talked about how SH gets angry and actually cries...
"This man never loved me to open up to me. I love him but I don't know him. How can I continue like this?" (Do you know how much she wants to embrace this man and know him, but he just shuts her out?)
When they teared up the contract and SH says he is happy that she has found her path to happiness..
"Don't you want to be part of that happiness with me? Does it not matter to you that you are not in my future?"
"Ah...you will just live your life as you have all along, you will be fine even without me in that future"
When SH says he may find another new tenant...
"I guess I'm not irreplaceable."
Every step of the way, I could feel her heart break.
This is not noble idiocy. This is a woman who is forcing herself to leave the man she loves because she can no longer handle not knowing how he feels, even if she knows he feels something, but what is it? She can't handle not being let into his inner world when she loves him so much. And deep inside, even when she was leaving, she never stopped willing him to open up and embrace her into his life.
This is how hard it is to love a man who doesn't open up.
I was just nodding the whole way through reading your post. Please receive this as me giving this 10x the heart. I'm preaching to the world saying AAAAMEN hallejuah!
-
13
-
-
runtime for 2 hours or at least one special episode for all the fan service. but i don't think the pd team is up for that. it demystifies their masterpiece, i think.
-
9
-
1
-
-
5 hours ago, T-e-z-u-k-A said:
I totally agree with you on this...I mean, I'm not angry at JH per se, I just am wrecking my brain trying to understand her actions but I can't!!!
I feel like I have missed something major since the last episode because most of you are saying that JH left because it's selfless love (how?!). I don't understand how though, if anyone could explain that to me it'd help a lot with my understanding.
Personally I see JH's actions as selfish, even if she meant well: she left because she wanted SH to open up, come to terms with his own Room 19, and choose her actively. But my question is: why must she do that? Is it that necessary because she already somehow got to know about his feelings. Knowing how he is, why is she trying to push him over the edge? Why can't she just accept him for who he is? She is making him so miserable, so as to "push" him into taking actions, that's a bit extreme no?
If she wants to leave him because she can't be with someone like that in the long run (can't deal with all the insecurities, can't deal with the opacity of his feelings etc) then fine, but it's for her own good, for the well-being of her heart. She shouldn't say that it's for SH (okay she didn't say this, but it's our own interpretation) when the poor guy is suffering so much because it's just how he works. I'm just being the devil's advocate here but I don't see why she absolutely has to change him, love is based on compromise and understanding, not because one is pulling these stunts to trigger feelings from the other person. I love JH to bits but I don't understand her move this time, maybe we will see more of her point of view in the next episode. Instead of acting like she did, she could simple sit him down and confront him about JM, about his feelings for her (I mean I would want to know whether the kisses meant anything!), and their future together (or the possibility of). How is this different from when HR gave WS the pressure to marry her? I understand that people need to get out of their comfort zone once in a while to grow, but the way she went about it just makes me so frustrated...
At the end of the day, I wish and I know that our couple will get a happy ending. However it just kinda drives me crazy that they can't just sit down and talk and avoid all of this misunderstandings and sufferings!
Actually I feel that it's necessary for JH to do this. I don't think that her sole goal is to make him hurt, but she does realize that it was probably going to happen. @xxPeepsxx word choice is very correct: gamble. JH is gambling on the pain in the hopes of leveling out and clarifying their marriage terms. But you see, they are going into something serious: a real marriage founded on principles of love, union, belongingness and by leaving, Ji Ho is establishing her terms. If she was going to commit, it can never be a marriage built on just the foundations of convenience (it's marriage!) and she needs SH to realize this. These are her non negotiable terms but before SH can come to the negotiation table, she needed to make sure that he felt her terms. I believe they will talk this out much like they talked the whole Kimjjang out. She followed SH to Namhae and I think when she hears that SH left his house, she's going to go back to Seoul for him too. I don't think she intends to let it simmer to the point that it destroys him of course (unless she really has decided that she doesn't want to deal with SH for the rest of her life, which is NOT the case), she will take responsibility for her actions. As strong and determined as Jh may have looked, she is not having a fun time. She's also in pain but this is pain she's willing to endure for a better future.
i do wholeheartedly agree that these two need to talk and I think they will.
-
9
-
3
-
-
15 minutes ago, angelflower said:
As recaps say, SH watches an Arsenal match, drinks beer and cheers with a smile on his face. As he gets up for a second beer, he looks around for Cat. He doesn't see him in the living room, and glances at JH's room, then walks towards it with heavy footsteps.
He sits on the bed and looks around. Cat comes in.
SH: Cat, where have you been...
He pauses upon seeing the "Woori" tag on Cat again. Flashes back to all his memories with JH. (AUGH MY HEART HURT SO GOOD)
SH breaks into sobs.
SH: What do I do? I miss her (/you). I miss her (/you).
SH (voiceover): Today... I.... lost my once-in-a-lifetime love.
------------
Excuse me while I go sob ugly tears clutching my heart.
I badly wish SG was there to hit him in the forehead and say CALL HER pabo-yah! But of course. SH will never do that.
-
2
-
3
-
-
1 hour ago, Ineng said:
And him calling jiho kitty's noona is an upgrade from jiho-ssi
1 hour ago, meiil said:Woah moving out from the house is the biggest thing SH could ever do. But my question still remains, how long till he goes and confess his love for JH? *sighs* I also feel there will be a time jump, if so then I just hope it won’t be one long on their time apart.
And these quotes exhibit the massive milestones of INTJs.
-
2
-
3
-
1
-
-
14 minutes ago, angelflower said:
Let me rewind a little and start some scenes... although I really want to do those at the back, but the various conversations in front will also change how you might feel, I think. Also informs my interpretation, if you will.
So because I'm biased, I will only summarise what happened with SJ and her mother. Her mother wonders if her leg is a burden to SJ, and SJ tries to deny it. But when her mother asks about why she doesn't quit her job and asks about how she doesn't spend any money on herself, SJ bursts that she needs it to live with her mother since there's no way Mum can live by herself with her leg like that.
JH flashes back to her conversation with SJ. SJ gets a text from SG containing SH's confession/ proposal drafts, asking for her help on behalf of his "friend's friend's friend" (to be honest, I don't get this relationship web, lol can someone enlighten me? Is it SJ (SG's friend)-JH (SJ's friend) and last SH (JH's friend)? ) SJ shows the text to JH.
SJ: Writer-nim, what do you think is the least cheesy?
JH: I'm not sure. They sound similar.
SJ: Still, pick one. Since it's a confession you're getting.
JH: Huh?
SJ: Who's SG's friend's friend's friend? Your husband.
JH: Ah.
SJ: You're not happy?
JH (voiceover): Why wasn't I happy? *end of flashback* They were words I was waiting for, words I wanted to hear. So why was I afraid?
SG tries to get a drunk SH to stand to go into the building. LOL.
There's so much accountability in accepting a SH in one's life. I know this from experience. You can never ever ever be dishonest nor inconsistent with them. Lie once and that's as good as being eliminated from their lives. You can never be too overt. They'll accept you being crazy and random on your own but never drag them into the spotlight with you--- that's relationship suicide. SHs are fragile. It takes them soooo long to voice out their feelings. Consider yourself lucky if you ever so much as get an emotionally honest moment with them. Never want to be noticed for insignificant things-----especially when they're on focus mode and especially not when they're inside their caves. You need to learn to let them be and you need to truly believe that they love you even when they feel so disconnected from you. You have to be centered when they're in their solitude. You can't panic and go crazy on them because then you'll just annoy them to no ends. And yet they love so crazily deep. They will never tell you about it but that one moment when they decide to bring home some midnight snack you want (and you never figure out how he figured out that you want it) fresh from work is a mountain of affection being expressed to only you. You'll go crazy wondering if they've done it for others too, trust me it's just you. They can be very picky about the people in their lives so you being still in it is nothing short of a miracle. So when they do say it, that they love you: you can be certain that they mean it so much that they'd be able to go as far as marrying you. That kind of love is horrendously deep so I really understand why JH is immensely afraid.
I don't really know how to voice out Ji Ho's fears or if I'm accurate, but I do understand her.SpoilerFrom my experience, my fear couldn't be pacified by my SH's actions. I needed him to validate his feelings through an absolute surrender. It couldn't just be words. I was always so afraid of hearing his words because I knew that if they fell on me, I will always be that one person who could break him. I also was so afraid to hear them and feel them as empty. I was constantly walking on eggshells around him because I didn't want to lose him but at one point, I just wanted him to break. So I left him. I knew that a life together wouldn't be all roses and I needed to make sure that he wouldn't crack on me when my crazy went haywire. So I decided to get crazy and abandoned restraint because I needed to know that he would stupidly be there, that he would abandon all of his precious logic because I'm more important than the rational sequences that he has set up in his head. I wasn't afraid of a periodic, repetitive life with him, I wanted that. But I was afraid that he'd never see my fears and that he'd never realize how badly I needed him to love me beyond logic. I didn't want to be the girl that was conveniently there in his life. I needed to be the girl that he'd abandon everything for regardless of whether he has loved someone else before me. I know, overly dramatic but Love was sacred to me and I didn't want to be chosen because I was an easy choice. I didn't want to be chosen because I was the best at understanding him. I needed to be chosen because it is me and life with me, whether dark, full of turmoil, colorful, or placid is what he wants. I couldn't be the girl who completed the rational levels that he had set up to achieve in his lifetime. I needed to be the girl that he passionately loved. What hurt though was that when he finally understood what I was needing from him, he didn't choose me.
I think it wasn't that he didn't love me. I think it was because he thought he couldn't make me happy. He thought that he will always be unable to match the sporadic and artistic side of me. He knew that his rationality and logic was him and is him and he needed me to accept that as it is. At that point, it was clear to us that we weren't meant for each other and that it had to end. Our needs were too different. It was the hardest thing to move on from someone so dearly loved but it did turn out for the best. Sometimes I do wonder if things turned out better for us both if I chose to believe that he loved me despite the absence of fearless abandon but back then, I was too afraid of spending the rest of my life wondering if I'm loved enough. It was too detrimental to my self-esteem. I used to think that I wasn't chosen because he didn't love me enough. Only now, in hindsight, that I'm really realizing how much I must have meant to him. Sometimes that causes a pang because you kind of wish you were strong enough to tailor your needs to theirs but those parts of ourselves were simply non-negotiable. I will still be the kind of crazy that can be too much for him to handle. Our friends sometimes think we wasted each other, but now I find him happy in his own logical world and I completely moved on to different heights (minus the embodiment of a husband) so in the end, I know we made a healthy choice. Our lives would have been so different together, but it isn't less meaningful without each other either.
-
12
-
2
-
2
-
the buttons just don't work
[Drama 2017] Because This Is My First Life 이번 생은 처음이라
in k-dramas & movies
Posted
Hahaha I don't mind. I figured it out waaaay back then. Took a lot of courage accepting it then, but it's all good now
Nonetheless, I enjoyed a lot of INTJ perspectives in this show. Yours included. My best girl friends are also INTJs. Honestly I know this type is really rare, especially for women so I'm always so fascinated that there's so many on drama forums! Hehe, yes I'm sure no one person is absolutely the same but the interests can be so consistent.