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Everything posted by babygirrll

  1. people who sleep around a lot on online dating.. easily get diseases.. that's why i'm not going to look for someone who sleeps around
  2. I don't want to do online dating because the men there are more prone to diseases. Like my ex did online dating and he got a disease. He probably picked it up from random girls. I don't want men who are too into it. Not too flirty more honest and does like me a lot. I miss having a bf right now that talks to me daily. Feels really brutish without someone to hold hands and cuddle with.
  3. Thanks I've been posting for a year now and you've been telling me to leave him. I finally did. But it hurt me a lot physically and emotionally. I find it very difficult to leave someone you really like. But in the end he was just a guy looking for seex. There was nothing more to him.
  4. I broke up with my bf last week after seeing my counsellor. I was really upset with him talking and snapping his previous hook up. I asked that girl and she told me it's nothing, she invited him to go dragon boating. That totally means she wants to see him again. My ex told me she's ugly and won't go back. I don't believe him, I think he would go back for a hook up. I told my counsellor everything and he gave me an infection. He knows I like him. But bc he gave me this infection I am more scared of him cheating and reinfecting me again. I don't trust him. My counsellor told me when you find out he's cheating on you, you will get angry and do bad things. You will go to jail. You met him while he was cheating. He doesn't seem to change. He cheats. You like him more than he likes you and he's doing whatever he wants. What's the solution? You can stay and get cheated on & get reinfected. Or give him the benefit of the doubt, he isn't cheating. Can you be with someone who doesn't want children. Do you want to live your life being a police seeing if he's cheating. I was so angry when I left the counselling room. I know she is right. She was right before. I still gave him the benefit of the doubt and ending up with an infection. When I broke up with him after seeing my counsellor. I told him I talked to that other girl. I am done. He said we're done, you petty --- and swore. I knew he wanted it to end but he wanted me to end things with him. It was getting too tiring.. He didn't like me as much as I liked him. I have to accept that. But what is the attraction my counsellor said. His pros: cute, funny, athletic, and comes to see me. His cons: cheats, harm, mean, cheap, and cruel. The cons outweight the pros. My counsellor told me he was exactly the same as my ex from 4 years a go. I just want to take care of my health right now. I have deep regrets I didn't listen to anyone who told me to leave. I stayed until he gave me what I feared the most. I am accountable for my own actions. I was upset over this poor and hot tempered... cheating man for a year. I do believe God punished me for my consequences because I have sinned. I am talking to someone that likes God but we believe in different Gods. Again, I don't think God will bless me. But I want to go out and date. I want to see new people. I want to meet someone that makes me feel worthwhile. I am closing the chapter of my ex. He was a little older. He looked at me with attraction. But he was unstable. Cruel to his mother. Crazy.
  5. I'm just angry of what happened to my body bc of this man. I hope I heal soon and the antibiotics will work. I am so angry right now. He was a dirty nasty moron. I learned my lesson it's not about looks. I'm upset I got this.. We tested for everything and it was good. But IDK how he picked this up. They don't normally test for this. It's like God kept warning me and I won't listen. So I kept getting deeper and deeper. He looked good just like my ex. But he was so cruel and garbage. He doesn't care about his health. I think he has turned insane. Smoking vape and driving.. making fun of people.. He is insane like my other ex. I hate them both. I hate the things he said to me. I feel like kicking him in the face
  6. At one point I really liked my boyfriend but because I got an infection from him, I started to hate him. Resent him every day that I took him back and he doesn't change. Still talking to girls that like him. It got to a point I talked to the other girl and she was just someone who would go for anything. When my counsellor told me he is just like my cheating ex. I felt so defeated. I asked the counsellor, can he change? She's like you been with him for 6 months, his behaviour shows no change. In the end you will find out he cheats on you and you will get angry. You will go to jail this time. When the police comes all you can say is your bf cheated on you. I was so angry. So angry at that moment that I yelled at him through text and there was no way he can budge. Anyways, I'm trying to heal my infection right now and clean up my stuff. I was really close to my bf one point but even when I gave him the benefit of the doubt, I wasn't sure if I wanted such a poor life. I knew when I was with him in bed at his parents house. I was thinking wow, I worked so hard in life. I have to settle for such a poor life and always worried about getting infected. He buys expired groceries and counts every penny. He was vaping in the car , smoking like my ex. I was like they are the same person. Crazy and doesn't care about health. Crazy and cruel. It wasn't a relationship I felt confident about. I am happy it's over and I can see a life of opportunities with people who love God. I am currently still suffering with the infection but I will take care of myself at this moment. I am talking to another guy right now, I don't know what's going to happen. But he seems like a nice guy that wants a gf. He is busy though but I'm okay with it, he lives close. This time I have to see them for who they are. Not try to change them. I am glad I didn't stay til the end and fully watch him cheat like my ex. I don't want to operate like that anymore. I need to change the way I do things. I also need to lose weight. I am on my last days of antibiotics. I hope it works this time. I'm praying to God that I can be healthy again and find someone who loves me. I like being in a relationship.
  7. My bf told me to get an abortion, I minus well cheat on you since you always feel that way, and told me he checks out other girls when I'm not around. My health is bad because of him, he gave me an infection. I called the doctor for him, he has an infection for so long now. He never got treated and he's out cheating on me. I told him and he said sorry. But I realize.. it's over.. I'm sad and shocked.. But it's over. There's no good future being with someone who says mean things to you. Always scared of cheating and bringing diseases and pain. I am leaving for good this time. I have to take care of my health and I have to continue to survive. He was just like cheating ex. People who don't care about you, will do all kinds of bad things to you.
  8. I keep going back but this is an important decision my mentor told me. I'm looking for a husband that can give leadership to the house hold. Him and her husband wished me a life time of happiness. Why am I forsaking that? Even if I don't marry a religious man. I should be with someone I can look upto. I really hope God will help me. Deep inside I do want him to change and be nicer to me. I don't know. I wish there was a miracle.
  9. He told me he didn't cheat and it was all in my head. He told me when he told me he cheated in the past
  10. He keeps saying he didn't cheat on me. Told me the other girl added him on Instagram.
  11. I was upset he didn't write me a letter or serenade to me last night. But he brought me to an expensive sushi dinner that was almost $200. He knows I want him to write me a letter or roses. Anyways during dinner, he was playing with his phone. Looking at cars. I told him during dinner. I like you best when we first wake up because you give me all your attention and you're smiling in the morning. He immediately put away his phone. I remember one time after a party. I was so tired I fell a sleep and I woke up. He woke up too. He saw my face and I saw his. I was so happy to see him. I started kissing him. We had a lot of moments in our relationship. Moments of us holding hands and walking. Or times we were just cuddling in bed and he kissed me. I don't know what we have is real love. But when we talk in public. I asked him what happened to our bubble bath together. What happened to my letter or poem. He told me he's never going to write me a poem. I told him most of our relationship is me attacking him with kisses in bed and he comforts me by paddling my arm. I still haven't had intimacy with him yet. Probably never will until married. I really think it's because I didn't have intimacy with him that's what is keeping our relationship. But I don't think he truly loves me. If he does... Why am I so insecure with him finding someone else.
  12. He gets really insulting about my brain and do I think when I talk to him. I hate him. I hate him for not being forgiving and screaming at me for times he doesn't get his way. For telling me if I get fat he will leave me. For thinking of such perverted thoughts. For being such a cheap and stingy person for pleasure. I hate him. He even told people he was with that he wasn't interested in having intimacy with them because they were fat. I hate him for being such a selfish and unloving person. I hate him for thinking and making me want to give in and using my past as a threat. I hate him. I wish I never met this person. Such an unloving and douchey person.
  13. babygirrll


  14. We were lying in bed and I felt that sadness from him like it's pointless to make out and touch bc we're not having intimacy. Last week I tried breaking up with him because I was insecure bc he told me he will break up with me because of no intimacy. I felt my break up with him was giving him relief. But he got angry. Now this week seeing him like this bc there's no intimacy. It's hard to see. I want him to be happy. I'm not entirely happy with him because I feel like I can't give him everything. I want to. But he isn't trying to be my husband that I feel safe with. I don't think this is how it's suppose to be.
  15. . When we were lying in bed.. I asked him if he was committed to me. He told me yes. I told him I'm so happy. I thought everything was good. Until last night we talked on the phone.. He told me if we were ever to break up it's because I'm not having intimacy . I told him over the phone, I protected my body for the last year and I haven't went so close with anyone. I have devoted myself to wait before marriage. He told me if the last girl didn't dump him.. He wouldn't have went with me. He would still be with her and seeing other people. He didn't like her but knew she was going to hook up with him. So he waited to hook up. That made me feel he was evil... He never loved her and just did it for the sake of intimacy. So I got him tested. Crazy, but I like him he thinks I don't because I'm not giving it to him so he hates religion. He doesn't believe in having intimacy before marriage. So we're both compromising.. to be together.. He thought bc I have had intimacy before I'll just give it. Little did he know.. That I'm actually devoted..
  16. As time passes by I like him more and more. I feel I should control my tongue and do more. Give more love to him like what the bible says.
  17. My bf wants to have intimacy with me. I told him. I don't want to do it unless I'm married. So I feel we're together. He's always so into peer pressure. His guy friends are laughing at him.. saying he's not getting any thing. I never knew it was an issue for him. I told him.. You knew you weren't going to get it.. Unless we married. I told you from day one. He's like you think it's making me stay. It's making me go. In the end.. if he leaves.. I'll be sad but I won't die.. not because I don't love him... Bc I feel like I'm so nice to him.. I want to be married. He's like how can we be married we only dated for a month. And he's saying most guys.. thinks these are red flags.. and would run already.
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