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frostfire

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  1. I actually feel like his only real verbal response to her speaks volumes (to us, anyway). She confessed, he remained silent. When she pressed him for a response, he thanked her for her feelings for him. It shows how conflicted he is. On the one hand, telling her the truth about how he feels about her would be cruel, given the odds stacked against them. On the other, flat out responding that he doesn't reciprocate those feelings would be lying (and also too much of the noble idiocy we'd much rather avoid). Instead, he chose to go with an answer that's not really an answer, but is also an answer that leans towards the latter - that he does not reciprocate her feelings. His response also perhaps reflects that he was hopeful - which is why despite his answer that's not much of an answer to her, he slowly allowed her to get closer to him, until finally when it became clearer to him that the odds that were stacked against them to begin with was stacking even higher. We saw him slowly start to put his walls back up, retreating and putting more distance between them, with him not being forthcoming despite his promise to her. It's cruel, in a sense, giving her hope and then pulling the rug from beneath her feet, going so far as to tender his resignation and "escape" to Cleveland without any warning, but then again, he may view it as the kinder of two options. Given the choice, she'd likely put everything on hold to go to Cleveland with him, but I don't think he wants her to do that for him. He likely thinks that she's had enough sadness in her life already - with what happened to her father, and now having to think about ending the life prolonging treatment. After her father's accident, she wanted to escape to Madagascar. What would happen if she watches his condition deteriorate and subsequently possibly passing away before her eyes? Hindsight is 20/20. Had he known beforehand that all of this would happen, he might have decided to respond differently. However at that point, he was a man who has CIPA and knows that he's lucky to have lived thus far. They were drawn to each other by a common situation where they decided to make similar choices. No one had ever come close to understanding him, and I don't think he even wanted her to know about his condition to begin with, despite his budding feelings for her. Her accidental discovery led them to have a shared secret, and even then, he had all these walls up, not wanting her to get too close. A moment of selfishness was all it took for him to let her in. I don't think he necessarily regrets having let her in despite everything, but I think the last thing he wants is to see her cry for him.
  2. Hi, quiet lurker here. I just want to politely disagree with your view. Perhaps it may come across as him chasing her first, and then subsequently changing his mind and deciding to run away from the consequences of what he started. However, arguably, if I were to put myself in his shoes - as someone who has CIPA and knowing full well that he has lived beyond his average expected life expectancy of 25 years (he's 32 at this point) and is likelier to die of some illness sooner rather than later, he never wanted to start any sort of romance that will surely be short-lived (in his view) and end tragically. In his view, it is very much okay for him to love another person, but it's an entirely different story altogether if that other person reciprocates those feelings. In hindsight, he should have exerted more self-control over his actions towards her - picking on her in prison, not maintaining a suitable distance from her whilst working at the same hospital, constantly keeping an eye on her, even going so far as to allow her to become his caretaker, etc. However, we all know how difficult it is to deliberately put a stop to these actions when they come to us so naturally when we like someone. It's no different in his case. It's for this very reason why he never actually verbally told her that he reciprocated her feelings for him. Verbally acknowledging that he feels the same way creates expectations - expectations that he doesn't want her to have because he does not know if he will live long enough to meet them. I'm not saying that I agree that he should be running off to Cleveland without even informing her beforehand, as a viewer, it's actually the last thing I want for them. However, I can see why he's doing the things he does. Perhaps he's going to Cleveland to get a more detailed diagnosis on his condition, to know how long more he can live and whether he can allow himself to have a life together with Si Young. Perhaps he really is running away, because getting over a broken heart may (arguably) be less painful than getting over the death of a loved one. Also, as someone who has lived with the mindset that he may just randomly drop dead at any point, I doubt he wants to constantly see Si Young worry for him, being constantly afraid that something bad would happen and taking care of him - sure, it's the epitome of idiotic noble self-sacrifice, but I can definitely empathise in this case.
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