ahhhjummahhhjo
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Posts posted by ahhhjummahhhjo
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Let me preface this post by saying that this drama got me waking up at 4:30 AM to watch it live--or TRY to watch it live and suffer through endless face mask, beer, winter olympics, winter wear and beds. I never imagined that I would see the day that I would be frustrated at the sight of Gong Yoo but... hey, I need Se Hee and Ji ho, not the dokkaebi. LOL.
Have yet to watch with subs. My previous comments are based on what little of the raw I've watched. I can be proven wrong in a later post.
I agree with one commenter about how Se Hee dealt with the household-chores-at-the-in-law situation with money--he knows of no other way. Perhaps it's embarrassment or something else, but it looks like it bugged him enough to hand her money then and there. The reason why it stood out to me is that any incurred expenses in the past were taken out from the following month's rent (Wedding dress and other expenses.) But he had to hand her money soon after the ancestral rites to settle it immediately. I guess subconsciously he doesn't want to be indebted to Ji Ho for something she had to do for his family. Nothing wrong with that in the landlord-tenant context. But I think the concept may have gnawed at him for reasons he had yet to decipher. Swift payment and settlement is much easier than mulling it over.
So BRAVO to Ji Ho for asking what is truly due her. That, in doing so, would hopefully give him a better idea of what it means to help people from the heart without having to categorize it as a check off the Maslow needs list. In spite of setbacks, I am so proud of Ji Ho and her self-possession and self-worth. That her time and sincere efforts are much more than a mere 100,000 KRW can buy.
I am also thankful for the conversation with the Dad. We needed that insight. AND we have a clue about the Dad and his possible influence on Se Hee. I have a feeling that Dad had disappointed Se Hee big time--perhaps to the point of betrayal (from Se Hee's POV. As the Dad says, it's different when you're a parent.). Enough for Se-Hee to move out and find his own place, make his own way into the world. When I saw the Dad with the cats, I can't help but think about what the Vets said about men who love cats or are gentle with animals in general. That they can't be bad men since they love animals, right? Also, Se-Hee's mom said that they're the same in the way that they love/take care of people they love. They may be stoic and hard on the outside but in reality, they're tsundere.
I worry about Won Seok and Ho Rang. My heart goes out to them too. I'm glad that Sang Gu and Su Ji are getting along now.
Looking forward to the subs! Not looking forward to a repeat of the pain I get from seeing Ji Ho's heartbreak all over her wonderful face.
That said, here are my bets for the ep titles:
Ep 11 - Because this is our first vacation/trip together.
Ep 12 - Because this is our first sunset? (Subject to change hehehe)
I think the kiss may be in Ep 12. And can I just say that I love that both of them have their arms around each other and look like they're into it? I'm tired of seeing kisses where either party remains so stiff that his or her hands and arms lay limply on the side of their bodies. Sheesh.
ONE MORE THING--about money and envelopes. Remember that Ji Ho's Mom gave her money for a deposit on her birthday? It looks like Se Hee gave her more than what her mom gave her. But the amount does not matter. We saw how Ji Ho was touched by that gesture because it was coming from a place of love. That moment, in contrast with this one wherein Se Hee gave her another envelope out of his sense of duty, was her wake up call. I love how recurring themes and symbolism give this drama so much nuance.
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4 minutes ago, cherryblossomkawai said:
Like yesterday I give you the really poorly google translation of the written preview :
입사 이래 처음으로 월차를 낸 세희(이민기). 월차 사유는 무려 '처갓집 김장'!남해에 도착한 세희는 상상이상의 노동 강도와 경상도 어머님들의 외계어(?) 사이에서 정신이 혼미해진다.갑갑한 브래지어, 경직된 회사 생활에 지친 수지(이솜)그러던 중 남직원들이 자신의 노브라 여부로 돈내기를 했음을 알게 되고,내기 주동자인 박대리에게 수지 다운 응징을 가하는데...지호(정소민)는 남동생 지석이 보낸 세희의 김장 수난 사진들에 기겁하고 급하게 남해행을 결정한다.떠나기 전, 우연히 세희의 시집을 발견한 지호.오래전 그 첫 장에 적은 누군가의 애틋한 편지에, 심장이 쿵 내려앉는데...Se-hee (Lee Min-ki) who made monthly difference for the first time since joining the company. What is the reason for monthly difference? Sehee arrives in the South Sea and becomes confused between the intensity of work and the extraterrestrials of Gyeongseo's mother. A hard-wearing brassiere, a tired resin in a rigid company life (cotton) Then one of them found out that they had paid for their own nobles, I bet my boss, Park Dae-ri, who is the betting agent, Ji-ho (Ji Min-min) is scared and suddenly decided to go to the South Sea by Seung-hee's photographs of Se-hee's brother Seok-seok. Before leaving, Jiho discovered the poetry of Sehee by chance. A heartbeat sits down on someone 's grotesque letter that was written long ago in the first chapter ...
A. Hard. Wearing. Brassiere.
hahahhahahahhahahhahahahahhah way to go, Google!
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Okay. I am liking his hair now. There are moments in the ep where I just went... rawr. Hawt. LOL.
ALSO besides the kiss, I am looking forward to Se Hee dressed like an Ahjumma.
I will guard my heart now and expect the damn kiss is a dream. The way he walked towards her, that swagger, can’t be real after ep 10. Hehehe.
Almost like when I watch game of thrones. I expect the absolute worse and if things turn out okay then, cool. My heart stays intact. LOL.
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12 minutes ago, teep523 said:
omgomgomgomogmggggggggg I CANNOT. why is the writing so awesome?????? I need to calm down
ok ending scene for ep 9 (i almost reached into my screen to punch SH in the face):
on the way home from SH's home, SH asked JH why did she go to the ancestral rites, she said, what do you mean why, because Mom called me.
SH: Well then you should have called me after that
JH: how could I call? When mom said that you're busy so I should come even if its just me
SH: Even though so... why didnt you say you were at work? or you had things to do.. I mean for someone who knows how to deflect so well..... (cross-reference to what SH told BN abt JH, that he married cos she's a good defender)
at home
JH: Have you heard of the "nice daughter-in-law disease". I think it's because of that
SH: /goes on and on about Maslow's hierachy and how JH is a nice daughter in law cos she wants to belong in the group/
JH: Is that all you can come up with? Is that all you think about? It could have been from the heart too couldnt it? It could have been from the heart, because I wanted the person that I liked to be comfortable and proud of me. And because I wanted to look good to the family of the person i like.
SH: ..... JH, I'm sorry for the incident today, here, take this as payment for the extra duties today.
omg SH she practically just confessed and all you could do was give her money for her troubles???????????? omg
anw then JH goes back in her room to reflect on how she now knows that SH treats her like a safe tenant that ensures monthly rent payment. and also a defender that allows him to not get married as his parents wish. and then she calls SH and says:
JH: how did you calculate my compensation?
SH: oh is there a problem with it? Is it not enough? I calculated it based on your wages at the cafe and transport fee
JH: Yes it's not enough. there's a lot that's missing.
SH: so how much would be enough?
JH: Pay me back the same value. Let's visit my family's house. Next week.
SH: What??
JH in voiceover: I am not going to deflect anymore in my life. At least this time, I'm defending my own heart.
omg ok I think I have cooled down enough to do the other clips. ep 10 is hands down my favourite episode ever!!!!!!!! so good
Thank you for the translation! I may not know Korean much but when he handed that envelope to her I almost threw my phone across the room. “Oh Hell No, Nam Se Hee!!!”
Then my wrath got cut by yet another Pyeongchang commercial. Grrr.
Agree with other commenters. While the writing is brilliant, I hope the trolling will be at a minimum. Only because It makes it more heartshattering if the payoff isn’t enough to compensate for all this teasing.
Last thing—part of me doesn’t want to watch the ep with subs now. Granted, I barely got through the ep because of all the commercials and server resets. But I guess I should because, character development, huh?
Just grumpy. Sorry.
But I do love Sassy Ji Ho at the end.
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2 minutes ago, cherryblossomkawai said:
Omg the preview IF IT'S A DREAMING I AM KILLING EVERYBODY !!!
Omg omg omg omg Haaaaaaaaaa
I kind of think it’s a dream, especiallt since she was onthe beach where she told her friends that her dream was Love.
C’mon Writer-nim. Can’t our girl catch a break here?
Excuse me while I hit replay on the preview again hahahah!
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4 minutes ago, mapleoaks4 said:
Wait! It's already over?! I've been following with recaps. was the episode a full hour?????
@teep523 and @angelflower thanks so much for translation and recaps!!!!!!
omg. What's happening?! waiting for the raw to come out.
Gasp there's a kiss scene!!? I hope it's not misleading. Who's initiating?!
See Hee Namja from what I remember hahahahah
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OMO THE PREVIEW.
My connection kept cutting in and out. So didn’t understand much but the preview!!!
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2 hours ago, teep523 said:
Yes it was city of stars. I think the writer really likes movies haha. Love all these little easter eggs
Anw regarding the one love one friend convo, I think SH's response is more of resignation. JH was the one who asked him if he thought that one should only hv 1 love in their lives. His response was like "yes I guess so. One love should be enough in life". So He isn't sure either haha
Thanks! This made me feel tons better.
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2 hours ago, b4l01 said:
I am with you. I was so giddy watching them holding hands for more or less 3 minutes at the beginning. But when he concurred with JH to that "Only one love in life", I hear thud in my heart and get worried for JH for her impending heartbreak . But because of what he has done for JH to protect her , I can see rays of hope that he's falling for her already without realizing it. She may not be his first love but she will be his greatest love in due time.
On a lighter note, my pervy mind got on the loose when SH asked JH if it's okey for him to take shower first because he sweated much. LOL Does he really need to ask that? For what?
Omg, my mind went there too!!! I’m like, oh ho ho Nam See Hee. Way to take charge! Bwahahahahahahah.
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Just finished watching subs. On a very bad connection. But while it was worth it, I have to admit, I am heartbroken at the ending. Crying a bit. cEO Ma’s melancholy must have rubbed off on me.
On a lighter note, it almost sounded like CEO Ma was humming the opening bars of “City of Stars” from La La Land. It is a lonely song.
Back to my heartache. I wish that somehow Ji Ho be loved. She has already been through much.
Sliver of hope: when ji Ho asked Se Hee about having only one love, the look he gave her then... plus the heavy, hesitant “yes. Sure. Only one love in life.” Response tells me that he disagrees with that concept. Especially now that Ji Ho’s there.
Still, I am depressed. Or I lack sleep. I will sleep this sadness off and back read in a few hours.
Thank you, everyone for being so awesome.
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1 minute ago, teep523 said:
ah so regarding BM & WS, WS was supposedly some amazing coder/programmer when he was 18 years old. and he made something really good, either a forum or an app or sth that was so good even SH who's almost 8 years his senior in the field is aware of (assuming he is JH's age)
in the preview, SH introduced BM to WS using her username online, which presumably means that she was a famous person in the online forums, and I'm predicting that BM was WS's old rival way back then.
this is very cool thanks for finding this! so the title of the book is "Island" and the titular poem starts with these lines: "There is an island between people. I want to go to that island".
maybe I'll translate the whole poem tomorrow, but basically the content of the poem from the writer pov is how all pain will pass with time. In the poem, the writer mentions that someone made the wildflowers they picked together into a bracelet. but the person left, so the writer is left staring at the bracelet that the person left on the table. Sadness overwhelms him. and he ends the poem by saying "I became a family with that sadness, together with the hands that made that bracelet"
I'm not sure if I'm thinking too much but if the book is a clue, then this could be SH's story with Jung Min. Maybe he thought he was gonna marry the girl but the girl had other ideas and left him, and he's left to deal with his sadness on his own.
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interestingly, in contrast, the book JH was given by BN is in pink, and is titled "World's End Girlfriend" by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Yeonsu
From reading several book summaries, I'm gathering that this book talks about how you need to make an effort to love someone. and if someone doesn;t understand you, or if you don't understand someone, you have to make an effort to make the person understand you.
see the contrast?
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ok I;m finally gonna go now haha. will reply to all your comments tmr. have a great day/night everyone!
Was reading translations of the poem as well. (Thanks to Google). Maybe we're reading too much into the symbolism of these books but given the brilliance of the writer so far, I wouldn't put it past her.
Rest well, @teep523
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52 minutes ago, Ayame said:
I spent the last few minutes looking this up, this seems to be the book: http://cy.cyworld.com/home/21745356/post/54B86591F615A11F85328401
The book seems to be a collection of poetry written by this author: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chong_Hyon-jong
A million thanks for finding this!
Se Hee reads poetry? (I can't say "likes" poetry yet. Who knows if his Ex gave him this book to reflect on) So many layers to uncover with this man! Hope we get to see at least some of it in the coming episodes.
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17 minutes ago, teep523 said:
a real wedding at the end like Goong again! haha but I don't think Korea does registry weddings cos all you have to do to get married there is to fill up an application form for a marriage certificate. and once the person at the counter approves the application, then you're married tada! So I'd like it if the writer has a quiet scene of JH and SH signing the application and submitting it tgt. and then walking out of the building hand in hand. I think that would be very fitting to the vibe of the drama
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so back to my thoughts. this convo was also one of the highlights of the ep for me. I love how the writer showcases both the plus and minuses of SH in the span of 1-2 episodes. He can be protective and manly and caring... but he can also be kind of a know-it-all, quick to jump to conclusions and likely to trust his conclusions because he knows he's smart, and as JH said, he can be really annoying sometimes. SH has got to be the most well-written male lead I've seen ever, probably. I love him and his flaws.
I feel that JH too was quite flawed in this ep. I just didn't agree with her being happy because her old friends are being friendly with her cos she;s married. you're living a lie girl!! I;ve also been wondering why she didnt tell her friends (HR & SJ) that her marriage is fake. I cringe every time she has to lie to them because.. i dont think it was necessary? it definitely was necessary to lie to her parents, but to her friends too... idk, maybe its because I value honesty very highly in a rls and it makes me feel uncomfortable that JH is actively lying to so many people that loves her and theyre gonna be so hurt if they ever find out.
oh and I love her dynamic with BN!!! I knew he was gonna be her cute dongsaeng. I knew they were gonna be awesome. yay BN! I also thinks she needs to talk to someone that knows her entire situation fully, including the fake marriage. I look forward to BN being a real friend to her.
I also think that the writer is writing JH according to maslow's hierachy. SH's analysis is very accurate. This convo might be the writer;s way of cluing us in to how the story will progress. At the very top of maslow''s hierachy is Esteem and Self-actualization, which I'm linking to career success for JH, and success on her own terms, whether she succeeds in love or career. And I think the writer is pushing it towards the end of the drama because it would be unrealistic for JH to pursue her career if her other lower needs are not met. So hopefully now, with some stability in her marriage, she will start working on her career.
ok so for the main shocker of the ep, I'm just really not keen on the almost ex wife because it seems like SH still harbours some feelings for her because he kept the registration form. my heart just hurts for JH who;s falling for him without knowing that its such a tough uphill battle to climb because his heart has been hurt before and he may have decided to not love anymore because of that incident. so I felt kinda sad that the story was going down this road after the end of the ep. Although I can tell that SH cares for her, and is definitely bothered by her and her behaviour, but I don;t think she has given him anything to love her for? I'm sure he has a lot of respect for her views, and likes her as a friend or a tenant that gives him some sort of companionship.. but love.. idk if I think it's a far fetch? like I;m not buying the love or the potential of love from his POV. I hope she gets to do something for him soon, e.g. smooth things over with his parents, or listen to his troubles.. idk. just something so SH could fall in love with her too.
Oh yes I also love how the show showed us that SH might be eccentric in the way he thinks, but he's a normal person imo, that can read social cues very well and be considerate of others in social settings. exemplified by how he behaved when he saw SJ and SG.
Hmmm that;s all for now i think? excited for tomorrow's episode as always!:) and to read all of your thoughts!
26I love, love, LOVE this! Thank you for this post! Sorry to cut it short.
Few thoughts--I think the reasons behind Ji Ho not disclosing her fake marriage to her friends are the ff: 1) Possible fall out with Su Ji because she did offer her a place to stay and yet Ji Ho chose Se Hee, instead. Of course we know her reasons but Su Ji might take offense given their years-long friendship. 2) Ho Rang may be offended because Ji Ho takes marriage so lightly and had gotten it so easily. Again, this may be on the side of irrational but it's possible given the way Ho Rang's needs (Maslow) aren't met.
3) What Ji Ho said in the tunnel in Ep 2. "There are some parts you just don't want to show those closest to you." I'm paraphrasing. I'm glad she did confide in them in the end. Hoping she can fess up to them later. I honestly don't want the parents to know though.
I know I may have said Se Hee was falling for her in Ep 1. In early Ep 1, Ji Ho was still herself--a moderately successful assistant writer. She was on her way to achieving her forever birthday wish.
It doesn't matter if she was writing a daytime drama riddled with PPL. She was doing something she loved and she was confident in her ability.
She started to question everything after discovering asst. PD-nim was dating someone else (probably one minor thing that sustained her through a difficult working environment was her infatuation with this guy.) And when she was robbed of her chance to break out on her own. Plus the fact that weddings and reunions at weddings are all about status and where you are in life, it made her wonder if her life would just amount to that. Ho Rang was an amazing friend to her at that moment, making Ji Ho realize that in spite of where they were now, that she was happiest when she was writing.
So I agree with you, I'd love to see Ji Ho come into her own again. There are parts of her that are already admirable and we've seen Se Hee respond to that and acknowledge that. Is she lovable now? All I know is that Se Hee saying "I proposed because it's you" was a good sign.
As for the old marriage/almost marriage. In a way, I think it's a good thing. That Se Hee would confront his past. I think it has to be resolved in order for him to truly move forward. I hope it's framed this way.
Here's my question, while the document was alarming--for some reason, I'm more nervous about the book it was found in. We've seen how Writer-nim used books in this drama so far. I wonder if Se Hee was in love with a literature major/writer once? What's the book title?
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4 minutes ago, kasjady said:
It looks like we'll be seeing BN again next ep, I don't mind seeing him around as long as he's a shipper haha.........but if Miss First love comes around and starts any signs of snatching ***falls to the ground*** It'll feel like Goong all over again lol. At some moments So MIn gives me Yoon Eun Hye vibes, so seeing her happily admit she likes her husband reminds me of Chae Kyung.
I hope when Miss First Love comes around it's more of a "It's nice to see you have moved on" type of scenario.
I totally see Yoo Eun Hye in her and I adored Goong.
I. Need. Sweet. Moments. With. The. Main. Leads. Enough moments to get them through whatever ex is thrown at them.
1 minute ago, Dramanoona said:I can't believe I am saying this but.....
I miss his hair already
Me too. Sigh.
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Thank you @teep523 for translations and giving it context!!! For some reason, I believe that ep 9 will be a favorite of mine.
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Just finished watching raw. So. Many. Conversations. And I hope I my excited shrieks didn’t wake the neighbors when I saw them holding hands the whole time in the beginning. Hahahahah.
But the document at the end got to me. WTH is it still there. Why not burn it? Hahahha.
Also, Nam Se Hee! What kind of a CTO are you, you can’t even use a wireless, optical mouse. Then again, plot device to get him to open that damn box.
I miss his old haircut already. Can’t wait for subs!!!
Ep. 10- Because this is my first haircut. LOL
by the way, i do not understand what Ji Ho and Ho Rang’s conversation was but somehow it had something to do with Ho Rang giving up on her dream to be in fashion? Fast forward to the present, now Won Seok is giving up his dream to marry ho Rang? Again, I could be wrong. Excellent acting from Won Seok because I can totally read his eyes during one of those scenes where Ho Rang was ecstatic about her ring. You can see his apprehension.
I don’t want to see Won Seok end up with someone else in the drama, though. Can’t it be open ended?
also... I Love Se Hee being so attuned to CEO Ma and having his back. I think he’s beginning to care more about the people around him. So cool to see.
And of course, our OTP. Sigh. Alright, future eps. Bring on the conflict. Sigh.
To be honest, I liked what they did with Bok Nam in the end. Creepy music was a nice touch, too. To tease us, I mean.
Subs later! Wooo hooo
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Just finished my rewatch of Ep 1-3. Was tempted to do the rest but this ahjumma has got to sleep.
Good thing about a re-watch is being able to focus on some details.
I am sure someone may have mentioned it already but, I have a sneaking suspicion that Se Hee was already falling for Ji Ho since the kiss.
Bear with me here as I hope to try and make my case.
Note—not falling like, in love already but certainly he is on track.
1. The kiss was the start - If ever I said that Se Hee was emotionless or pure logic, I take it back. I was wrong. From ep 1 he is seen to have strong reactions to CEO Ma, a Soccer game, and Ji Ho’s slapping of his back just to name a few. He is perfectly capable of feeling.
Now, behind his usually blank/stoic dismeanor, he has a kindness to him. And a natural curiosity.
Ji Ho piqued that curiosity. First, with the soccer game fangirling, second with her very brave statements at the bus stop. Other girls may have been too embarrassed to speak to him. She was straight with him. Or for whatever reason that compels him to invite her to chat about soccer or to join her at the bus stop, I think one of them is curiosity.
He could have left her alone/walked away. Manners may dictate that he keep talking to her but we already know that he is perfectly capable of doing what he wants and on his own terms, manners be damned. After all “what is normal?” (Ep 3)
And then, she kisses him.
You know how when you have a crush, you are almost hyperaware of him or her... what he or she says or does.
I think that kicked him and his curiosity straight into overdrive.
Without that kiss, it would have been just an unremarkable memory. With the kiss, however... Ji Ho just made a lasting impression on his soul.
Ha! Too much? I stand by it because...
2. He misses her - empty rooms, full recycling bins, washed ramen bowls, little refrigerator notes... you know what they say, “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.
“ and that leads to...
3. Se Hee being impulsive - 1. marriage proposal 2. Namhae bus scene 3. Bike kicking
Yes, even the bike kicking. He could’ve stopped at the side mirror. That would be enough. I think, in spite of having researched and calculated, the kick was on impulse but with full knowledge of consequences. After all, Se Hee wouldn’t have known what he would find when he got to Bok nam and Ji Ho... he couldn’t have plotted to destroy the bike beforehand.
Ji Ho, and her presence in his life, made him a bit impulsive.
One last bit—I think, When his guard is down, Se Hee’s emotions take over with regards to Ji Ho. Logic will try to explain things when he is fully aware and he will just state facts aloud to make sense of it.
All this buildup and his prolonged exposure to Ji Ho will be manifested clearly (I hope) in Episode 9.
Anyway, just thinking out loud here. Also his microexpressions when he is faced with Ji Ho are absolute gold.
P.S. My theory for LCA is that she is not Se Hee’s first love but maybe a classmate of Ji Ho’s or Se Hee’s. It could be that LCA had a long time unrequited infatuation with Se Hee and how he poses a challenge to her—meaning Se Hee hasn’t fallen for her charms in the past and she can’t let go of that. Maybe it’s more of an ego/conquest thing than it is about love. The challenge of making someone as stoic as Se Hee fall for her. Again, just a theory.
P.P.S. My appreciation of Ho Rang as a friend to Ji Ho and Su Ji was high in the beginning. My admiration of her relationship with Won Seok was also there until the pink couch incident. I used to be irritated with them but now I get them. Ho Rang was pretty levelheaded and a sensitive friend until the marriage bug bit her. Her frustrations with everyone getting married but her made her into this manipulative, whiny person. Hope we can bring her back to how she was in the beginning eps. I hope that they break up and grow and possibly reunite when they are older and wiser.
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I have no words... !!! Oh, I do have words... It’s Monday in Korea!!!
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Rewatching episode 1 right now and maybe 2 if I can manage it. It's interesting to re-watch it, having seen Episode 8. Her birthday wish was always the same... that she'd like to be a successful writer.
I truly hope she can get back to that AND confront the people/team that made her stop in the first place. I really wish that she'd be able to resolve that. I haven't got to the assault episode again... I'm trying to remember if she was able to confide in anyone about what happened to her. I worry about her mental well-being. Yes, she's strong but I hope she's able to face her so-called demons so she can write again.
Thanks @Dramanoona for taking note of my entry and @bomnie for the text preview and translation!!!
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7 hours ago, Dramanoona said:
Because This is My First Time Being Thirty
(서른은 처음이라)Because This is My First Kiss
(키스는 제가 처음이라)Because This is My First Proposal
(프로포즈는 제가 처음이라)Because This is My First Marriage
(결혼은 제가 처음이라)Because This is My First Promise
(약속은 처음이라)Because This is "Our" First Time
('우리'는 처음이라)Because This is My First YOLO
(욜로는 처음이라)Because This is My First Husband
(남편은 처음이라)Ok everyone, 48 hours to go.
What will be our title for Ep 9?
My choice is:
Because it's our first vacation.
Keep the guesses coming!
Because this is our first fight.
Note--not fighting each other, but fighting for their luuuuurve.
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Below is my take on the conversations regarding Su Ji. I will go back to my regular fangirling after this post.
Empower, not admonish. Encourage, not berate.
Tough love doesn’t necessarily work. Instead of uplifting and empowering, stern lectures suppress and shame women into submission and withdrawal into themselves, blaming their behaviors and further damaging an already broken trust in oneself. And then what happens when the opinionated parties move on to the next issue to inflict their holier-than-thou opinions? No one looks back or even gives a second thought about the broken psyches and shamed souls that their words and closed-mindedness leave behind.
Sisterhood or brotherhood, heck humanity should be a safe space, a haven that women or men who go through these kinds of maltreatment will not fear judgment when confiding in another.
The most important act of kindness we can impart is to listen, to offer support, to give advice and options without the weight of pressure to “do something.” Mentally, emotionally, even spiritually this is the best we can do.
Pointing fingers, laying blame does not solve the problem—which is much more profound and much more intricately embedded into decades of patriarchal and antiquated thinking and association.
I grew up in Southeast Asia, in a society that leans heavily in the men’s favor. A place where men can commit unspeakable acts against wives, girlfriends, partners, and whose behavior is given a free pass because "that’s how they’re built," or because it is "their nature." Sure. They can do what they want while the rest of society just has to roll over and live with that. Moreover, it is never the men's fault. Somehow, the women must have done something, have been something, or has lacked in something to warrant the men's behavior.
Here's an extreme example--When I was a senior in high school, a heinous crime rocked our little university town. A local politician abducted a university student while she was jogging early one morning. She was later raped and killed by him and his henchmen. One of the conversations that circulated that time was that she “brought it upon herself because of what she wore.”
Of course. That’s it. Case solved. Did that bring the victim back to life? Did that give her justice? Does this give the family any comfort or consolation? Will they be beating themselves up over the fact that they should not have let her wear shorts and a shirt to jog? She is not the only one who jogs in the morning, not the last one to wear similar clothes to exercise. Still, she got targeted for whatever reason, and she had befallen that fate. Had it been another student, wearing sweats from head to toe that was taken, raped, and killed—what then? What would have been the water cooler talk be like about that? What excuses would the public come up with then?
While the Hollywood dynamic is on another level altogether, we see similarities in the pattern of abuse. In the end, it is about power. And how power erroneously equates with entitlement beyond the parameters of what is decent. Those in power feel like that they can do anything and everything to anyone and not be held accountable for it. We are seeing it in the headlines today, and each day more and more women are coming forward. While this is undoubtedly a step in the right direction, we’ve got a long way to go. Not just for the women to gather enough courage to speak up, but for the well-intentioned men out there to no longer just be bystanders.
On the topic of why Su Ji just lets these behaviors continue, here’s a good read on the New York Times that provides a lot of points to ponder: “When You Are Replaceable, and He Will Never Be" (https://goo.gl/YmdDxi). And here's another piece on the psychology of victims in “Why Sexual Harassment victims suffer in silence” (https://goo.gl/byJa4d)
If those articles are too much or maybe still not enough to build a case for solidarity, merely search for the hashtag #metoo or “Me Too” on social media. I am both proud and heartbroken to see this hashtag spread. Proud of the courageous individuals who have put this on their status and heartbroken at the sight of how many are coming out with this or have indicated that they have been a victim of sexual harassment.
As for Su Ji’s bralessness— it is only evident to those who stare at her chest long enough to notice a difference. Loose dress shirts don’t exactly give it away. And last I checked her skirt length was at an acceptable level (right above the knee). Bo Mi wears shorter skirts than Su Ji. I do not hear anyone barking at Bo Mi’s "apparent lack of decency."
I am not looking to debate anyone. Like everyone here, or in any forum, we are entitled to share our opinions. After this post, I will do my best not to engage those who would like to argue their point. I am thankful for the writer for bringing us a drama that starts conversations and makes us asks questions.
Having a healthy, respectful discussion about these issues is excellent. But I hope that we can all remember that at the end of the day this should not be about who is right, or who is more righteous. This is not about winning arguments on a beloved drama site. And this should never be about what we believe about how someone's lifestyle has led them to become a victim.
This should never be about us. This should be about those who still suffer or those who carry the weight of the memory of being harassed. This should be about how we can all work together towards helping victims get through this and rise above it.
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You make a good point, @shedp about what Se Hee said about “Love” is certainly easy to say. Now that I think about it, Se Hee is not a man of many words, but he is certainly a man of action!
re: Namhae—I hope she doesn’t move back home and Se Hee follows her/tries to win her back/come and get her. I hope it is the theory about visiting the parents. (who will take care of Cat, though?)
One more thing—it’s a bit weird for her to go back to YOLO after that. But her husband probably checked everything out before she went back to work.
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5 hours ago, sitih said:
I just realized how distance between SH and JH when they sit together on the sofa are getting closer and closer
if you look at this, JH is always sits in the edge meanwhile SH is stay close and then..
At bus
4I only know you from this thread, @sitih but I luuuurve you for this amazing post!!! Also @triplem that was an awesome post as well.
NOTHING beats that scene in Coffee Prince.
Sort of unrelated note--sorry to dampen the mood here but, I honestly don't want some woman coming back into Se Hee's life. Pretty tired of the "ex-comes-back-i-was-wrong-let's-get-back-together" crap. Sorry.
Anyway, back to kisses. Agree with you @triplem ... he doesn't do anything halfway. He'll probably solve a rubix cube thinking about how to kiss Ji Ho then absolutely go for it.
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2 hours ago, VanillaSalt said:
hahaha! I guess you could read it in a "sexy times" way or they won't get sleep bc they're sleeping next to each other and it'd be awkward bc they are aware of each other, but neither want to initiate something yet ahah!
Hehehe Don't mind me, just an old, pervy ahjumma.
But yes, they won't be getting much sleep from either being on edge, avoiding skinship or Se Hee enduring the Thunderous snores of his wife. heheheh
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“ and that leads to...
[Drama 2017] Because This Is My First Life 이번 생은 처음이라
in k-dramas & movies
Posted
I think the kiss may be Ji Ho's imagination kicking into overdrive as Se Hee walked towards her. Look:
The walk
The kiss
Let's see that one more time:
The sunlight or the way the light is shining is different. The kiss happened at what seems like dusk or almost sunset while Se Hee calling out to her and walking towards her seems like mid-afternoon.
Sorry, friends. This is me playing goalie for all our hopeful hearts. I don't think our leads are going to "score" yet wink wink. Wahahaha I don't think I got my football/soccer metaphor right. Or this is my flimsy excuse for posting these amazing stills hahahaha kidding.