RiderKamen

Ask The Fellas

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Posted

This is going to sound stupid. I want to give a co-worker something on Valentine's Day without him thinking I like him. How do I achieve this in a grocery store witout my colleagues gossiping afterwards? 

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15 hours ago, halfmoonsmile said:

This is going to sound stupid. I want to give a co-worker something on Valentine's Day without him thinking I like him. How do I achieve this in a grocery store witout my colleagues gossiping afterwards? 

So many questions!

- Do you like him but don't want him to know or don't you like him "that way"?
- How big is the grocery store (as in number of employees)?
- What DO you want it to say?
- What's your relationship to the guy?
- What are your objectives/what do you hope to gain?
- Do you want him to know it's you?

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@CamelKnight

I don't know if I just think he's cute or actually like him. It's a supermarket so there's quite a lot of employees. However we're all friendly with each other and a lot of them gossip. I don't actually want him to know that I'm giving it to him LOL. He's sort of one of my superiors. I honestly just want him to enjoy it. I don't expect us to start dating. I don't know if there is a no-dating policy but I definitely do not want anything awkward between us.

 

 

 

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@halfmoonsmile if he's your superior it's doubtful he will date you as long as you work there. Others might think he's paying you extra attention or giving you easier shifts if the relationship comes to light. Lots of difficulties there that should be avoided IMHO.

It seems to me you're not sure about your feelings for him just yet. If you don't, try to let them go and find a better subject to get interested in. The boss-thing is a problem, the gossip is an even bigger problem. People will start to talk, trust me. I've worked for a couple of big companies where relationships in the same department developed. It almost always turned out nasty in the end. Only a few manage to get it right, but most of the time that's because one of the two moves to a different job.

It can work, sure. But if you're still in the phase where you can decide not to like him, please let him go. It will save you from a world of hurt.

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I suppose I have a relationship advice question. 

My boyfriend of almost 4 years left me over a year ago. Soon after, he was with someone else and they were expecting a baby. I guess I should mention his motive for leaving me was to be with this girl. Fast forward to now, he is still with her and they have had their child. The child was born before they were even together for an entire year. Mind you, we are what is to be considered young I would say. We are not teenagers, however I don't think the typical person plans to have a family at our age. All of his family is still friends with me on social media and for a while I often hung out with his cousin (whom is more like a sister to him, as his mother raised her), his family likes my photos, and they sometimes reach out to me. Anyhow, throughout the entire past year and up until currently he searches me on his Facebook account. Yes, I log into his account as he still has the same general information. I get that I am wrong for that, but sometimes it overcomes me. Anyway, it was less frequent before.. maybe once a month or every other month.. Recently it's been about every 2 weeks or more. Does this mean he is not yet over me, missing me, regretting his decision, or am I just over reacting and he is curious? I feel as though it must mean more than just curiosity..

 I understand that my best decision is to let go, so in no offense, please spare me that. I have really done my best.. and I truly am doing alright. I have lost 60 pounds since we have been apart and even gotten a really good job as well as I am trying to enroll back into school. I just miss him and really do think we let our young and dumb ways get the best of our relationship. I in no way have any intentions of messing with his family, I am not a home wrecker and do not plan to be. I wish no harm on his current girlfriend at all. I do miss him and hope that maybe our paths cross again in the future, however I understand that may not be in the cards. It is just bugging me incredibly so that I need to know what's running through his mind when he searches me. 

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12 minutes ago, abni01 said:

I suppose I have a relationship advice question. 

My boyfriend of almost 4 years left me over a year ago. Soon after, he was with someone else and they were expecting a baby. I guess I should mention his motive for leaving me was to be with this girl. Fast forward to now, he is still with her and they have had their child. The child was born before they were even together for an entire year. Mind you, we are what is to be considered young I would say. We are not teenagers, however I don't think the typical person plans to have a family at our age. All of his family is still friends with me on social media and for a while I often hung out with his cousin (whom is more like a sister to him, as his mother raised her), his family likes my photos, and they sometimes reach out to me. Anyhow, throughout the entire past year and up until currently he searches me on his Facebook account. Yes, I log into his account as he still has the same general information.

. Anyway, it was less frequent before.. maybe once a month or every other month.. Recently it's been about every 2 weeks or more. Does this mean he is not yet over me, missing me, regretting his decision, or am I just over reacting and he is curious? I feel as though it must mean more than just curiosity..

 I understand that my best decision is to let go, so in no offense, please spare me that. I have really done my best.. and I truly am doing alright. I have lost 60 pounds since we have been apart and even gotten a really good job as well as I am trying to enroll back into school. I just miss him and really do think we let our young and dumb ways get the best of our relationship. I in no way have any intentions of messing with his family, I am not a home wrecker and do not plan to be. I wish no harm on his current girlfriend at all. I do miss him and hope that maybe our paths cross again in the future, however I understand that may not be in the cards. It is just bugging me incredibly so that I need to know what's running through his mind when he searches me. 

 

Because he's curious. That's pretty common among us men. I do that myself on a regular basis, too. He just wants to know what you did after he broke up with you. You were a part of his life after all for 4 years, it's only natural for him to think about you despite you're not physically in his life anymore. He's curious about if you are in a relationship, if you're seeing some. We man have the stupid habit to compare us to other men. He would compare himself to this potential 'new' guy and ask himself if you replaced him with something better.   This doesn't mean that he still has interest in you or regret his decision (that COULD be the case, but I wouldn't take it for granted).

If I read it correctly, you wish that it means more than just curiosity. But I wouldn't assume that. If he really would feel this way, he would make the first step, but it would bring him in a very critical situation. Both of you. And trust me, you don't want someone who changes his mind or woman like other their underpants.

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Let's say that a girl takes at least 2 hours to send you a message. What would a guy think? Would he care she's taking a while?

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On 19-2-2017 at 10:53 PM, halfmoonsmile said:

Let's say that a girl takes at least 2 hours to send you a message. What would a guy think? Would he care she's taking a while?

Depends on his feelings for her. Any second longer is a century too long if he likes her. But just like women, men start rambling why she hasn't replied yet. Is she dead? Is she serious? Does she even know who I am? She did smile at me didn't she? Or was she looking at dude X behind me? But he's ugly, right? I know he is, he's never had a girlfriend. But neither have I. Oh god. Does she not like me back? Why did I send that? What did I send (recheck text for the n-th time)? Did she think I meant something different? Oh god, she thinks I insulted her? I could die right now. Oh god, what if she's sending her brother over here? Do her friends even like me? etc.

And all he sent was "Do we have homework for tomorrow's chemistry class?"

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Do guys talk about their feelings to the girl they like, whether they're dating or not? If they so, is it a big deal for the guys?

Do they show their actions more than they speak about their feelings?

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@fashioncriminalxo Some guys do, some don't. Men used to not be "allowed" to talk about their feelings as it wasn't manly. That notion has changed the last decade or 2 but it's still difficult for men to talk about what they really feel. It makes them feel weak and unprotected while they feel their role is to secure the family and make sure nobody gets hurt. It's a difficult duality as women tend to ask more and more to share feelings.

So yes, if they do share, provided they're honest about it, it means a lot.

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On 24/02/2017 at 9:19 AM, fashioncriminalxo said:

Do guys talk about their feelings to the girl they like, whether they're dating or not? If they so, is it a big deal for the guys?

Do they show their actions more than they speak about their feelings?

 

It really depends on the person, how open they're to talk about life in general and how comfortable you two are..

 

On 19/02/2017 at 4:53 PM, halfmoonsmile said:

Let's say that a girl takes at least 2 hours to send you a message. What would a guy think? Would he care she's taking a while?

 

No we will not really give a damn unless the person likes you, it's a different feeling

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On 13/02/2017 at 8:56 PM, abni01 said:

I suppose I have a relationship advice question. 

My boyfriend of almost 4 years left me over a year ago. Soon after, he was with someone else and they were expecting a baby. I guess I should mention his motive for leaving me was to be with this girl. Fast forward to now, he is still with her and they have had their child. The child was born before they were even together for an entire year. Mind you, we are what is to be considered young I would say. We are not teenagers, however I don't think the typical person plans to have a family at our age. All of his family is still friends with me on social media and for a while I often hung out with his cousin (whom is more like a sister to him, as his mother raised her), his family likes my photos, and they sometimes reach out to me. Anyhow, throughout the entire past year and up until currently he searches me on his Facebook account. Yes, I log into his account as he still has the same general information. I get that I am wrong for that, but sometimes it overcomes me. Anyway, it was less frequent before.. maybe once a month or every other month.. Recently it's been about every 2 weeks or more. Does this mean he is not yet over me, missing me, regretting his decision, or am I just over reacting and he is curious? I feel as though it must mean more than just curiosity..

 I understand that my best decision is to let go, so in no offense, please spare me that. I have really done my best.. and I truly am doing alright. I have lost 60 pounds since we have been apart and even gotten a really good job as well as I am trying to enroll back into school. I just miss him and really do think we let our young and dumb ways get the best of our relationship. I in no way have any intentions of messing with his family, I am not a home wrecker and do not plan to be. I wish no harm on his current girlfriend at all. I do miss him and hope that maybe our paths cross again in the future, however I understand that may not be in the cards. It is just bugging me incredibly so that I need to know what's running through his mind when he searches me. 

 

Don't forget the reason why you two are apart, and the reason why he stalks your facebook. You're learning about yourself and who you ultimately want as your companion. he was part of that process, and you were a part of his. You don't need to feel sorry for him, you can be better for someone new. Use the pain he gave you to learn and grow for the future. Just stay happy and healthy.

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Would fellas get jealous over the person who is just considered a friend with benefits? If so, what would some reasons be?

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@CamelKnight

If you don't mind then I would like to pm you a question. I don't want anybody else to see this online. Is that ok?

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15 hours ago, halfmoonsmile said:

@CamelKnight

If you don't mind then I would like to pm you a question. I don't want anybody else to see this online. Is that ok?

No problem, ask away :)

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So I've been off fb for 3 months now and my best friend tells me that my ex who cheated on me 3 months ago, still has our photos on his fb page.. Why is that? He was the one who broke it off.

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23 hours ago, fashioncriminalxo said:

So I've been off fb for 3 months now and my best friend tells me that my ex who cheated on me 3 months ago, still has our photos on his fb page.. Why is that? He was the one who broke it off.

He most likely doesn't change his profile pic a lot. I know I don't. If I get around to it once a year, it's a miracle :) 

You can always ask him to change the picture since you're no longer together. Considering he cheated on you I don't think you want to get back together again. He's not worth the effort.

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24 minutes ago, CamelKnight said:

He most likely doesn't change his profile pic a lot. I know I don't. If I get around to it once a year, it's a miracle :) 

You can always ask him to change the picture since you're no longer together. Considering he cheated on you I don't think you want to get back together again. He's not worth the effort.

 

But he changed his cover photo of us..left the other pics though.. Okaay..

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On 18-3-2017 at 2:52 PM, fashioncriminalxo said:

But he changed his cover photo of us..left the other pics though.. Okaay..

Perhaps he didn't want it to be over. He should've thought about that before he cheated on you though. Silly boy. Now he needs to find someone else, but we all know there's no one as good as you :) 

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