My boyfriend brought me to an expensive sushi dinner last night for my birthday. I was upset he didn't give me roses or a card. Also I'm travelling soon. Am I ungrateful?

[babygirrll 111]

I was upset he didn't write me a letter or serenade to me last night. But he brought me to an expensive sushi dinner that was almost $200. 

He knows I want him to write me a letter or roses. Anyways during dinner, he was playing with his phone. Looking at cars. I told him during dinner. I like you best when we first wake up because you give me all your attention and you're smiling in the morning. He immediately put away his phone. I remember one time after a party. I was so tired I fell a sleep and I woke up. He woke up too. He saw my face and I saw his. I was so happy to see him. I started kissing him. We had a lot of moments in our relationship. Moments of us holding hands and walking. Or times we were just cuddling in bed and he kissed me. I don't know what we have is real love. But when we talk in public. I asked him what happened to our bubble bath together. What happened to my letter or poem. He told me he's never going to write me a poem. I told him most of our relationship is me attacking him with kisses in bed and he comforts me by paddling my arm. I still haven't had intimacy with him yet. Probably never will until married. I really think it's because I didn't have intimacy with him that's what is keeping our relationship. But I don't think he truly loves me. If he does... Why am I so insecure with him finding someone else. 

[Sejabin 12,978]

Is thay guy not a gey? I mean a real man will never let you off of his hands if you start with hot kisses. Truly. Testosterone will not let them do it that way. Specially in the morning because it’s the time of their you know what to wake up too. I don’t believe that you sleep together and in the morning he does nothing. I am questioning his sexual ability now. 

Edited January 31 by Sejabin

[Dhakra 36,710]

I hate to say that.....but for the first time in ages.....I agree with @Sejabin  

 

Well at least the first half, the second half is a little different. In the morning we have a lot of stuff going on.

[Sejabin 12,978]

@Dhakra not if you’re together with a girl, babe.. specially if she sleeps next to you wearing a sexy lingerie. No you will not want to do those boring stuffs in the morning. 

[triplem 88,570]

@babygirrll are you truly seeking advice or not? You keep opening these threads and I don't see you respond to nor thank those who have given some of their time to give you advice.

 

The problem is not your BF , I am afraid. You are the problem. You are well aware what he wants , and you can't give it to him and then wonder if his intentions are true or not. I can fully understand when different people have different values when it comes to sex before marriage. So therein lies the problem. He has no issues with it but you do. So there is mismatched expectations here from the relationship. This relationship can only go on if a compromise is made...so far since he is still with you, I assume he has made the compromise. But girl , you are not helping... read yourself here...aren't you torturing him? Bubble bath? It is like offering ice cream or a slice of cake to someone who is on diet. See but cannot eat. A  bit cruel isn't it...

17 hours ago, babygirrll said:

I started kissing him. We had a lot of moments in our relationship. Moments of us holding hands and walking. Or times we were just cuddling in bed and he kissed me. I don't know what we have is real love. But when we talk in public. I asked him what happened to our bubble bath together.

 

Edited January 31 by triplem

[Dhakra 36,710]

@Sejabin

R rated, don't read if you are on the softer side. 

Spoiler

So and how many times does that happen by accident? No girl puts that kind of stuff on everyday before going to bed. Like I said, I fully on your side when it comes down to testosterone. If you girls kiss us, we heat up and our brain turns off. Thinking not possible, blood is needed somewhere else. 

 

But in your second case, sorry, cannot agree. After, all, I'm a guy, so I should know it. How often does it happen that your girl wakes up next to you in sexy lingerie?  Only IF YOU PLAN to do it and then of course he will react. We are guys, if you lure us with candy, we sure want a bite.

So you can sugar coat anything, but that won't be a good advice to give to someone else.   

I agree that we love to have.....a little action in the morning....whatever it may be....but that's not a general rule appling to all guys. 

 

You sometimes have a very weird idea about us.  

 

And the only person who is allowed to call me babe is @stroppyse *Sigh* 

 

 

[sushilicious 9,529]

@triplem could you help by making it more ‘PG’ in here?

 

“We The Children Of Soompi. Let us wash our eyes and pretend we never see anything about all those...stuff.” 

[Dhakra 36,710]

@sushiliciousI put it in spoiler and wrote a warning. No need to sell me out and being "weirded out". 

[sushilicious 9,529]

@Dhakra I mean like bro. Imagine loading your screen and the first thing you saw was Sexy Lingerie. Then the next thing you see is that Gif DP that you 100% know that it’s a Guy. Haha.  

[babygirrll 111]

Thanks everyone for your contributions and thoughts. I have read everyone's replies and I do think about what you guys said. He has been upset because I've been talking bad about him behind his back. Telling his friend that he's cheap and he stinks..............didn't mean any harm. Just it was fun talking to his friend about it and we have a good laugh. But when my bf confronted me that he knows I've been talking bad about him, that's why he's been mean to me. I felt bad that I got caught. I don't know why I keep talking bad about my boyfriend to his bestfriend. But the things he does, it is bad. He told me his exgf had a miscarriage with her former bf. That made me sick and angry. He told me he waited for the previous girl to have intimacy with him so he can get some and he'll continue seeing other people. All of these things makes me not want to have intimacy with him ever. Scared he'll give me diseases or leave me or cheat. We have got tested and results came back negative. Our relationship never had trust. I asked him if this is healthy. He said no. But we can start having trust. Just it's so draining. I'm travelling the day after tomorrow for a month. I kind of want to leave this behind me. I will miss him. But I need a break. I don't know if I want to resume when I get back. He was like all my other boyfriends just puts me down. The only good thing about him is that he didn't have intercourse with me. 

Edited January 31 by triplem
Removed TMI statement ...please keep it PG rated

[sushilicious 9,529]

3 minutes ago, babygirrll said:

He told me he waited for the previous girl to have intimacy with him so he can get some and he'll continue seeing other people.

Is that enough to make you leave? If you are that deadly afraid of the disease and that you know that he is still actively trying to find intimacy. Why are you still here? How could you let your man go around finding girls?

 

[Dhakra 36,710]

25 minutes ago, sushilicious said:

@Dhakra I mean like bro. Imagine loading your screen and the first thing you saw was Sexy Lingerie. Then the next thing you see is that Gif DP that you 100% know that it’s a Guy. Haha.  

 

Huh?  Well.....I wouldn't complain. 

But I don't understand what my gif DP & being a guy has to do with it. 

 

[sushilicious 9,529]

7 minutes ago, babygirrll said:

Our relationship never had trust. I asked him if this is healthy

You see? If both parties stated that they don’t have trust. Why even bother being together? It’s not going to bring you happiness girl! You are just dragging your feet on the sand. It becomes a burden.

 

[triplem 88,570]

41 minutes ago, sushilicious said:

@triplem could you help by making it more ‘PG’ in here?

 

“We The Children Of Soompi. Let us wash our eyes and pretend we never see anything about all those...stuff.” 

Sorry dear...in @Dhakra's defence..he said nothing that R rated to be honest even in the spoiler. He was just saying how guys really think. Plus he did put it in spoiler. 

 

12 minutes ago, babygirrll said:

He told me he waited for the previous girl to have intimacy with him so he can get some and he'll continue seeing other people. All of these things makes me not want to have intimacy with him ever. Scared he'll give me diseases or leave me or cheat

Then why are you sticking on? Leave him then as you said you would....So one day ,say you marry him...that doesn't change the fact that he is the same guy who sleeps around you know....You already know the answer. This relationship is toxic and unhealthy.

[Sejabin 12,978]

@Dhakra

Spoiler

Okey I would not call you babe ever 

so why you think that if I write something about testosterone reaction in the morning with lingerie  it means that it’s weird? Mmm.. it’s not weird. It’s normal. It’s weird if that testosterone doesn’t react at all to what is normal plus I like testosterone reaction with my man of course 

btw you can’t schedule it. People do it whenever they want to do it. But mostly in the morning because for guys that’s their usually and normally time. 

Mmm if you have partner you will not need lingerie to do it because you will love to do it with her. And you will not need lingerie when do it. Lingerie just a stuff.  

 

[triplem 88,570]

okay...i think we are hijacking this girls thread...TMI @Sejabin

[Dhakra 36,710]

@Sejabin

Spoiler

Your...man? Sigh...okay...you are aware that I was the one giving you advice on the Ask the Fellas thread right? 

 

Let me be straight and clear, I don't want to sound harsh, trust me, but believe me: You....as a girl.....have no clue what normal is for a guy, his testosterone or anything. You may know what "your man" reacts to,  but that's all. 

I told you, yes we react if you pull something on us, but don't think you understand what normal is for a guy or not. Because you will never understand, you are not a guy. 

 

"For guys?" Do you really think that you know it better than a living...breating...man himself? Our "normal" or "usual" time is during the evening or at night. Hell, every man has a different time. You can't say "that's a normal time". 

 

Well, at least the last sentence is true.

 

 

Let's finish it here. The thread is after all about something else. 

[dotonly 32,292]

I dont read fully (the rated) BUT...its lol. Ask the fellas thread wasnt this funny.

 

 

[Sejabin 12,978]

@Dhakra

Spoiler

We need to finished but it doesn’t mean that you will be the one who gives the final answer. I am a human as you and I have my mind and thinks too. 

 

In ask the fella, I was asking about a guy friend and it surprised me that you have all the answers. 

 

You and me both are human. What you understand about man is just what you understand about yourself. Perhaps you don’t understand about other man too unless you really socialize with them closely. Just like me as a woman, even I a woman, I might not understand triplem fully or angelangie fully because I just know them from internet. So you don’t need to boost out that you understand man mostly than others. You and me are just the same human. 

 

I don’t busted out that I understand man fully and you don’t need to underestimate me for that. Sorry if I miss understand you because we both speak in a language that I only use in soompi and not my main language. Sometimes it delivers miss translation for me. But this is acceptable because with people with the same language with me too sometimes I can missunderstanding too.

 

And yes I am a woman who will enjoys testosterone reaction from my man. And I am not shame about it. 

 

Thank you, sincerely

 

[babygirrll 111]

UI messaged him this morning saying I was so upset that he told me he can do better and I can be unfaithful rather than talking shiit about him to his friend. I think my bf operates in bad faith and screws what is right. I guess I vented to his friend because the things he does upsets me and by venting I feel better. Like how he used his exgf for sex and was with her because he needed someone to rent with to save money. And the last girl he dated he was never in love with her and just stayed because he knew she was going to give it to him. He even told me he stole from his workplace. These things are awful. I told his friend about it and his friend told my bf. He told me he feels betrayed. I felt really bad that I do tell his stuff to people. But the stuff he does is so wrong and I don't know what to do. Should I end the relationship? I like him but I don't trust him in being faithful. He's also not supportive to me and pushes me away when I want to talk to him.