MissAria

Online dating Yes or No ?

108 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Would you go on dating website to try to find love ?

My coworkers are teasing me to do that because I'm single, but I told them I don't feel comfortable using online dating website...

Update : I've tried a paid dating website for 2 weeks and I was just so annoyed that I removed my account. Online dating is not for me. I'm just going to wait for love to find me. -_-

Edited by MissAria

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I've used tinder to meet people before, I wasn't looking for a boyfriend though. It's fine to use dating websites to find a potential partner. It doesn't necessarily mean you're desperate, it's just a good source in finding someone. I wouldn't use one now just because I'm from a large city and I'm currently at a uni with 35k students, so I have a wide social circle I can go to. If I feel like there isn't anyone in my area that's good, I would possibly use a dating website. 

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My girlfriends/gayfriends like to tinder swipe when we have kikis.

photo image_zpscff5e456.jpg

This is going to be your general experience.

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To find love? Only if you're willing to meet this person. I tried Okcupid to find somebody and had good conversations with some guys. On the other hand, I think that I was too paranoid to meet anyone. I do have a friend who met somebody on the same site and he was good to her. They did break up only because she felt bored and he was okay with it. There's also sites dedicated to people who are looking for serious commitments. I think dating sites are more for fun dates or one-night stands. Of course there are exceptions.

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Posted

Www.sugardaddies.com for those looking for sugar daddies.

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I suggest you don't bother with it unless you're willing to be proactive in conversation ,meet them in real life, putting yourself out there. Basically, you gain as much as you give.

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severus said: Www.sugardaddies.com for those looking for sugar daddies.

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Heh, I wonder if they work? I was talking about the dating sites. I've watched some advertisements about it and they mentioned it does work but who knows. I suggest to becareful.

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I've tried it when I was single once and basically deleted my account a day or two after. The idea of having your pick between all these people you match with is intriguing, but when it came down to it, all the small talk was too taxing for me and these guys were too transparent in what they were looking for. It reminded me of Frosh week where you had to explain your major, where you're from, what your interests are to a bunch of people over and over and I'm just not social enough to talk to more than one person at a time seriously.

Also, the pressure that guys put on girls is a bit much. I understand it's important to get a girl to meet up within the first week or whatever the 'rule' is, but being asked to meet up with strangers that I've only talked to for about 5 minutes over and over and get made out to be a prude or essentially be called a wuss if I'm hesitant is just annoying af.

So, like @silent.dragon said, don't so it unless you're willing to meet up with people and I'd add don't do it unless you have the patience to talk to many guys at once. Some people do, but not everybody of course.

Also side note: I find it way too weird and awkward getting messages from people I know (that changed after Tinder was made though). I've gotten messages from some of my friends and even one guy that I knew since kindergarten, but we hadn't talked in years and he didn't recognize me lol Awkward.

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this has been discussed many times on this forum before. There are people who make it work- @damyoungji and those who don't @Raye @missingoutinlife1980 I've thought about this topic a lot before, and I have tried it. after 1 week I already hated it and stopped. I met one girl the first time. then a few months ago I went back on and was able to meet another one. I wasn't interested in either of them actually. It takes too long to finally meet up and by that time we're in each others' friendzones already. the hot girls are a no go, they will be getting way too many messages per day and they'll never respond.

here's what I have learned-

Guys- if you're lucky, you will be the one the hot girl chooses. If you are not lucky, then you will find no one interesting. Face it, you only want the hot girl, but the hot girl does not want you. You will only go for the hot girl even still, and you will be rejected accordingly. You will have to try really hard, be really patient, and prepare for rejection 95% of the time.

Girls- if you're a good-looking girl, this is your PERFECT opportunity to meet an average to below average guy!! There will be sooo many of them vying for your attention. SO MANY. so many that you'll stop reading most of them entirely. You'll get a bunch of likes too. the crazy thing is you probably can't get the good-looking guy because they're on the site just to get laid. You will not have to try at all, can get away posting 2 sentences in your profile, but you'll have to endure perverted messages and filter out the weirdos (most of them).
If you're not good-looking, then good luck to you, but you are the bain of every guy's online-dating experience. Guys will avoid you, and it may be even more difficult for you than the below-average guy. You will need to try not to kill yourself over the frustration.

Rough Hierarchy: hot girl, average girl, good-looking guy, average guy, below average guy, below average girl
demographic: girls: hot (5%), average (20%), below average (75%)
guys: good-looking (20%), average (40%), below average (40%)

And those are just the social dynamics, intentions are a whole other thing. hot girls and at least half the average girls are on for attention usually, good-looking guys are usually trying to get laid. the rest of the less desirables are probably trying to form a relationship.

After meeting up, being friends is easy, escalating to relationship is not so easy. If you're a guy, you might be in such disbelief that you were "chosen" by the hot girl that you can't take things seriously anymore. If you're the girl, having successfully sifted through all the weirdos, and are on the date with the somewhat decent guy, you probably have already stopped taking things seriously long ago. If you're an average guy, chances are you found a average to below average girl you were never interested in in the first place.

Anyway, I know of 5 people who have had successful (note, successful does not equal good in all cases) online relationships develop, 2 from okcupid, 1 from POF, 1 from craigslist, and 1 from MMORPG. 2 of them are still ongoing, while the other 3 have broken up. it can work for sure, but whether it's a good relationship or not is hit/miss.

Even though everyone is outwardly professing that online dating is ok and not weird, there is still a stigma attached to it from the back of everyone's head, it's just not as natural or classy as meeting someone in person.

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Dating sites is a waste of time. Whether you're a guy or a girl I think dating sites is the worst investment of your time and effort.

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Yes, go for it. The stigma is gone from online dating.
If you are just looking for an ego boost, you'll get quite a few messages if you are half decent looking. Make yourself feel validated.
If you are actually serious about looking for a relationship, you should be willing to meet-up with the guy as soon as possible. IMO don't spend too much time on sweet talk with the chat functions of these dating sites.


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It depends on your purpose.  I did online dating for a month and I met 3 guys.  I was really hoping to find true love because my friends told me some couple they know met online and have been together for years.  So I decided to give it a try.  Ah...I would say don't expect to find love.  Those guys just want to sleep with you.  I only went on 1 day with them and I ran.  I didn't regret it because it helps me moved on from my ex.

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"Rough Hierarchy: hot girl, average girl, good-looking guy, average guy, below average guy, below average girl
demographic: girls: hot (5%), average (20%), below average (75%)
guys: good-looking (20%), average (40%), below average (40%)"
LOL! This is SO true!

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No

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@jennibear01: Being desperate with dating is going outside with no clothes on with a cigarette in your mouth asking as many people as you can to date you until they say yes.

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I try for two weeks and it's not for me. I get tired if browsing the people lol

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writerstale said: @jennibear01: Being desperate with dating is going outside with no clothes on with a cigarette in your mouth asking as many people as you can to date you until they say yes.

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orchidlover said: It depends on your purpose.  I did online dating for a month and I met 3 guys.  I was really hoping to find true love because my friends told me some couple they know met online and have been together for years.  So I decided to give it a try.  Ah...I would say don't expect to find love.  Those guys just want to sleep with you.  I only went on 1 day with them and I ran.  I didn't regret it because it helps me moved on from my ex.

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Lie said: FT_online-dating-attitudes.png
Luckily those who shame others who use online dating as a tool are quickly becoming a relic. Around 60% of Americans thought online dating was a good way to meet someone, and that was in 2013. The number is likely even higher now.

If someone in this thread is considering it, I wouldn't let others throwing shade affect your decision. Do whatever works for you!

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