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About babygirrll

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  1. I haven't been questioning those I love and you are right @raymondc27 I should. I did try a different type of men and they were nice to me. Just I wasn't attracted to them. I suppose I didn't find them funny or attractive. My first boyfriend who I love so much because he protected me but he was always talking to other girls and I ended things with him. I felt I wasn't good enough. Then I started doing crazy things to get over him. All of this was wrong. We were young and thought we were going to get married but didn't. I always wanted to see the world and come back to him when I finished university. It was one sided. My second boyfriend was a loser. He was bullied and everyone hated him for being a wimp. He begged his friend to drive him home on his knees. The whole thing was just sex and perhaps being there when we needed comfort.. cause we were lonely. I kissed other people cause I felt he was a loser. In the end he cheated. I wanted to leave him but ultimately he cheated and I left. My third boyfriend was also a loser. He was a drop out of university. I cheated because I felt insecure and he was always talking about his exgf. At one point I cried and went to the bathroom. He was nasty. Worst decision to meet this one from the bar then online. Never do online. My fourth boyfriend was also a loser and liked to bully me. I was super nice to him and he was awful to me. Told me I looked like richard simmons without make up and I was fat. My fifth boyfriend.. was also a loser.. he dropped out of college and had no job. crazy health problems. he was also biisexual and cheated on me.. i suppose he gave me a lot of love and showed me materialistic things.. but i didn't return the love.. cause i didn't love him in the end.. took me three years to get over it.. until i met an incredible man and no that isn't my current bf My sixth boyfriend.. my current one.. i felt he was fresh and fun.. like eyecandy when i first met him. he also sets the tone when he walks in the room.. in the beginning i was talking to him to get over the incredible man i met. then quickly i knew we can only be friends because he was a fuuckboy and he's angry. i think he loves his exgf and another girl that betrayed him. all of the people he was with.. were polyamory.. they liked multiple people at the sametime and used people. bc of all of this fuuucked relationships. I told him lets go to the clinic and get tested together. he agreed so we did. I still won't do anything with him until I'm married.
  2. Hey everyone.. he is my boyfriend now.. Everyone is telling me he's using me. Even my counsellor told me he's using me.. for this time period.. until he finds someone new.. It's not easy when he's always talking to his exgf and messages pop up.. He knows I don't trust him. Always asking me is it because I don't trust him. I feel like this relationship is doomed.
  3. The counselor asked me why did I agree when he asked me out to be his girlfriend. I said because I like him. Why else He hurts me when he says he was right to stay polygamarous. It sickens me. I hate people who do that.
  4. I went to see a PH. D worker for psychology advice about the relationship. She told me he cheated on me and her. He was saying we're friends in a convenient way to see two people. Because I won't accept it if he says he has a gf. She told me when you like someone and they like you. You start a relationship. So he was seeing me and seeing her.. He got away with it because we were just friends. She told me he is just waiting for someone else to come a long. She said he cheats. But he won't think it's cheating because those are not his values. I don't think I can get past with what this counselor said. He told me it's because someone so easily.. I can listen to.. Then he told me he should have stayed polygamorous from time to time and he was right. I told him.. Thats what hurt and made me insecure for a long time. He told me he tried to give me everything i wanted. I really do like him. But in the sametime.. It's like walking on eggshells. Back of my mind.. I get scared.. Always scared..... He tells me he doesn't like someone who asks for help and can't make her own decisions. In my mind.. I have a lot of things to go through. I can use all the help I can get. If he can't tell me he only wants to be with me... If he's seeing someone else the next few days and leave me.. Then let it be... I am dying right now... But maybe it's a blessing if he leaves me... so I can go to Asia.. Find a man that won't give me so much richard simmons and insecurities.. I do like him... but this isn't a good relationship for me if i can't have faith on my partner
  5. @mouse007 things have changed and he told me.. he loves me more everytime he sees me.. and he thinks i'll burn him somehow.. i told him i'll never burn him.. i feel like i do love my bf.. when he told me i'm his babe.. it's so nice.. it's a different type of love.. not the whole i'll sacrifice or intimate relation sort of love.. it's like him being here in my life and i respect him as my bf sort of love.. i am travelling soon and i am leaving him for a while.. i do want to build on myself.. and get my events better.. get my horizons higher.. i am scared what if i find someone else while i travel... or he finds someone else.. i feel like it's too much stuff with being faithful and finances. before i met my bf.. i met someone else and i feel more free with that person.. maybe he has his life together.. and he can bring me to a different world.. whereas my bf.. i know i have to work hard.... he's a great person.. just he doesn't have much money.. and he jokes about hitting on girls..
  6. @mouse007 he makes me feel insecure.. because he's not happy about what we do.. says we don't have hobbies.. all we do is drink and watch movies.. the thing is.. my ultimate goal is weight loss and he already has a great body.. he also talks to his exgf a lot and she still posts photos of them together.. at first i was sad.. and i think he's cheating.. i told him i will leave him if he cheats on me.. and he says that won't happen.. he also told me.. he used to hit her and she used to beat him.. they were in a violent relationship.. this used to bother me.. sorta like my ex.. if he gets angry.. there's no control.. i'm leaving anyways and i want to go somewhere new.. the stuff he says isn't healthy for me.. i love him being there for me and i feel great such an amazing and funny man is with me.. but i do feel still a lone.. i still feel very a lone.. and going in a scary path.. i am scared to get cheated on.. he knows that.. i told him many times @camelknight i love being friends with him.. wish we remained friends..
  7. So I've liked this guy all summer and he hooked up with someone else.. I sorta ran away and hated him.. but in the end i accepted him because he was just a friend.. Recently we've been hanging out a lot and I developed stronger feelings. But I still told him we're just friends and tried to control my emotions.. He sorta began to develop romantic feelings.. But from the beginning he told me he's looking for something casual.. so I never really considered him and thought we'll go no where. We hanged out a lot with him and his friends. I talk to his best friend everyday and it's good. He started being affectionate but still hand boundaries because he isn't ready for a relationship.. He even asked if it's okay we hold hands.. So we went to the movies.. and we held hands.. and i kissed his cheek.. he kissed my cheek.. in the car.. we broke all boundaries.. he kissed me on the lips.. then we started making out.. and i asked if we can go to the back seat.. LOL EVERY TIME I ALWAYS ASK THAT but it's been a while.. and we went full on making out.. at first i couldn't believe i'm kissing the guy i've been liking so much.. then i saw a fuuuuckboy side of him... sorta evil.. and i looked into his eyes... and when we were done.. he was really an ordinary sorta dumb and ignorant guy.. i told him i want him to be with me.. maybe cause of the passion.. maybe i couldn't lose him.. but i felt like i forced him.. to be with me.. maybe i'm over thinking things.. i was hoping maybe one day.. he can really love me.. and just cherish me.. he told me he needs to think about it.. and i gave him a look.. then he said i already made my decision.. and he said we'll give it a shot.. and he can do what i wanted him to do.. not see anyone else.. a part of me is scared.. because my sister asked me.. does he deserve me.. do my parts belong to him.. we get a long fine as a friends.. but i don't know if i move on.. and disappear from him.. will things be better or am i really walking away from someone that could have been love..
  8. @CamelKnight So i got a ticket to asia for 6 months.. i don't hold an asian citizenship so i'll be looking for companies to sponsor me and I'm looking for love. I told the guy who just wants to be friends... and he told me he slept with somebody.. (we never did anything) that i'm leaving for half a year.. and he told me.. he's depressed.. tbh.. he can't have it all.. he can't have me and other people.. and he told me thats what he wanted from the start.. i told him okay let's be friends.. but he told me.. he started developing feelings.. and i told him.. i know.. and i do to.. but there's no point in this.. i see him checking out girls at bars.. and he doesn't want to get married.. he told me i'll find someone else.. and i told him he will to.. so i guess we're just two people who are waiting to find someone else.
  9. babygirrll

    I am 27 and I met a 32 year old guy at the club

    thanks @wookay. yeah he has a gf now and they look great together. it was really perfect though that far away memory.. of us sitting on a bench.. i met someone new but it also didn't work out.. the new guy wants to see me as friends.. but he keeps talking about the girl he slept with.. feels dirty.. that i dont want to see him and contract bacteria or anything...
  10. @camelknight yeah.. he told me he's just another idiot and dont stress out about it.. but he'll be there for me whenever i need.. i heard this many times.. from lots of different men that they'll be there for me whenever i need.. i find it all bs... i'm sorta of shocked he's just another one..
  11. @CamelKnight I don't know what he's saying. But I think he's trying to be funny. Anyways, so here I am another month.. The guy I like.. told me the girl he was seeing dumped him and he has more time. I sort of tried to cut him off two weeks before because every time we hang out, he's always messaging a bunch of girls. It hurts me. Feels like I'm inadequate. So I told him last night I don't want to get involved with someone seeing multiple girls. He told me he's talking to me as a friend and I am taking it too personal. Even if he sees me as a friend. I am getting hurt. So I decided to ignore his messages. I don't know what to do. But for now.. I need to focus on other things. Maybe get a new wallet and go to the gym. Better myself.
  12. I asked a relationship coach. She told me he doesn't have sexual passion towards me. When she told me straight up. I knew it was the truth. She wasn't belittling me because I said I'm asking for a friend. He friendzoned me. I shouldn't take rejection so personally. I friendzone guys all the time.. That's because I have a hard time looking at them or being with them for too long.
  13. babygirrll

    a guy I like.

    I honestly think if you post up here.. about someone.. whatever thought you have of them.. they will think the same for you.. I was in the same position. I like a guy and he just wants to be friends. But I hate hearing him talk.. the words he put in my mind
  14. So I met this guy at an event and he also met another girl I invited. The other girl really likes him and they get a long well. In the beginning I saw him as just a friend and I was talking to him because I wanted to get over someone. Last night we went out for the third time.. It was great seeing him in the beginning. I find him very handsome and has a great body and nice. However, he texts other girls infront of me. Tells me we're just friends. He says he neutralizes things. I studied him. People tell me I'm beautiful all the time and I know I am. I'm starting to read the bible and really change my mentality and personality. I told him I need god in my life to stay normal. He's like why can't you do the right things on your own. I told him.. In the beginning before I studied the bible.. my mentor told me there was darkness in me. He laughed and was like wth. Anyways the next moment I started to lose likeness for him. I don't know what happened. I just liked him less and that holy fuzzy circle thing around him was sort of gone. He was still handsome but he wasn't.. love.. When we're walking I linked his arms and I sort of hugged him. He's like do you do this with all your guy friends? I don't want to take advantage of you. I told him I do this with all my guy friends but I only have two. Honestly I do link arms with them but it's really settle but this guy I'm like grabbing him. Just felt right but he didn't feel it. So as we're walking and trying to find my car.. We walked for like a long time.. Couldn't find it. I studied him.. He was a nice guy.. I understand a little bit of him. He likes people then overtime he stops. And I get that too. I stopped him when we're walking. I told him.. I can find the car myself.. It's close by here. You can go home now. And he said okay and he left. I gave him a hug. It wasn't hot anymore.. I don't want to see him again.. I like seeing him.. But it's not a good time after the first date.. Maybe as I got to know him.. There's so many barriers and blockades he has.. So many females around his life.. I'm just not interested in rejection or listening to him talk about people I don't care about.
  15. I live in Canada and I met a guy at a dj event in a club.. He came here for a bachelors party.. He's from California.. I saw him sipping alcohol and wondering to the front.. I thought he was a younger guy.. he looked really cute and I automatically thought he's just hanging out with his friends.. Anyways so I just danced with my girl.. and out of no where.. he started talking to me.. there was a hunter a little creepy vibe while he talked to me.. asking if this is the right place to be.. I told him yeah it is.. so he didn't leave after he asked me that... and I wanted to sell him stuff.. and he told me he's leaving tuesday.. so as we talked more.. he told me where he worked and what he did.. Such an admirable career and so intelligent.. i looked at his face.. I don't even get hit on at all by ugly guys.. and this guy is amazing.. and my friend told me he's hitting on me.. I looked in his eyes.. He's probably thinking what is this girl thinking.. For a moment i wanted to kiss him and ask him to marry me right there.. he looked sorta like boys i met before at raves that hated me afterwards.. So after that night.. we met up for dinner.. he looked different from the club.. more nice and dorky.. whereas the club he was sexy.. anyways he was a little strange.. told me he likes comics.. and i laughed.. thought it was cute.. he was a nerd.. as we're walking.. he told me he's a nerd.. and i love that too.. just everything he did.. i didn't do it.. but i love what he did.. We sat on a bench.. and he told me when you're down go explore and do things.. don't be sad ever again.. i told him.. i'm looking for a significant other to travel with.. he looked at me.. we're not there yet.. i was a little sad.. he's like we're miles apart.. I didn't feel that was even an issue.. I thought I can just fly over and we can get married.. be together.. but I didn't dare say that out loud.. i told him i want to see him again.. he's like i'll have to check my schedule.. I felt sorta sad.. like he has someone he's seeing.. back home.. and he told me i'm beautiful and have awesome proportions.. but he doesn't want to continue this with me.. i guess for him it was just a one time meet up.. anyways the end of the date.. we were on a bench.. and he kissed my forehead.. then kissed my lips.. we started to make out.. and held his arm.. i really like holding his arms.. it feels so masculine and nice.. so huge.. honestly when he kissed me i hope my tongue doesn't stink.. and i kissed gently.. i felt shy.. and he stuck his tongue in my ear lobe.. i screamed..then he kissed my neck and below my collar bone.. i thought i was panting at one moment.. and now thinking back.. he's sorta like a random guy.. but like a dream.. it's like a random guy told me.. all these great things about me.. he put his tongue in my ear lobe.. and i wanted him to marry me.. like i keep thinking about him.. i try to talk to other ppl.. but no one wants to talk to me.. help me... the california guy didn't talk to me since he got back home.