Aww, when my dog died at 12 years old, I don't think I ever 100% let go because I will sometimes remember him and still cry. I'm sorry you had to put your cat to sleep as well. I initially didn't want to because I couldn't stand the thought of letting him go and he was always a fighter. Whenever he got very sick and I thought he'd die, he was always able to manage getting better and overcome it. I felt like he fought so hard to live, and I'm going to just come along and end it. But by the end, he pretty much stopped eating and was suffering (he had chronic kidney disease). I saw how much pain he was in so as much as I didn't want to, I decided it was best if his suffering could finally be ended. I was actually thinking of still filling my cat's food and water bowls as well. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thought of doing this. A part of me wants to because that had been a permanent routine for me ever since I was a child, but the other part feels too heartbroken to do so. I should be getting my cat's ashes back next week, so hopefully I'll be able to be more sane when I do. It's hard thinking about getting another cat again, especially because you know you'll eventually have to endure the same heartbreaking process again. My boyfriend never had a pet and always wanted a cat. So even though it pains me to ever think of having to go through this again, I may eventually get a cat in the future, but not anytime soon. Maybe one day you'll also be able to get another cat and share great experiences together. They do bring just as much happiness into our lives as they do sadness when the time eventually comes.