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Slowdancing with the opposite gender

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Posted

Hey guys, first thread in this section of soompi so bear with me. Did a rough search to see if this topic was ever discussed before but nothing came up.

Basically as the title says this thread is about slowdancing with the opposite gender. This topic arose when, about 3 years ago, my current girlfriend told me that she slowdanced with another guy at a highschool dance. Now at the time, the topic was only touched on briefly because I had my final year of highschool to worry about so we didn't touch on it much. But recently, it seems like that scenario has been constantly replaying in my head and I feel that I can't bring myself to trust her completely. I KNOW it was nothing but it seems somewhere deep inside I feel that it was more than nothing. I told her about this, and we can't seem to sort it out. I really do love her, but this tiny thing has really brought our relationship to a bit of a standstill.

So 2* questions, 1. Do you guys feel I'm just overthinking this whole situation and just being, well, bitchy ?
                        2. How would you guys/girls out there feel if your bf/gf slowdanced with the opposite gender ?

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Posted

1. Yes, it was 3 years ago. 2. No big deal,it's slow dancing. I mean it can be romantic and all, but if it was that long ago, I'd not fuss about it. 3. Where's 3? 

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Posted

1. Show her that you trust her by not thinking about it anymore 2. If you weren't together when she did it then there is really not a big deal. Not that it would be a big deal if you were, I mean, it's just dancing. If she was grinding up and down then we have another thing to talk about but you always slow dance at formal parties, even though you might dislike you dancing partner. 

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Posted

1. Yes, you are over thinking it. It happened 3 years ago. Why bring something so long ago back up? You're only causing tension in your relationship that should have been talked about when it first came up.

2. And I wouldn't care if he slow danced with anyone. It's a slow dance. Sure, it can be romantic, but that is only if the person you are holding you have feelings for. Other than that, it's meaningless.

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Posted

Yea i just punched a girl in her face 3 years ago but thats 3 years ago... right?
Time shouldnt be a reason that makes it ok to everyone above me. She still did it either wayand people who say there was no meaning to it are also retarded. I just effed a couple girls but i had no feelings for them...I aint cheatin, right?
Just make it clear next time that if it happens again, you're bouncin out this relationship. And make sure you call her a ho if it does happen again.

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Posted

Dude, it was a slow dance. THREE years ago. Wtf?

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Posted

Thanks for all the replies. Big edit, (Can't edit my post for whatever reason)
It turns out it wasn't a slow dance. They grinded on each other. So I really don't know what to do guys.

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Posted

don't get so clingy man, everyone's gotta have freedom.

oh, and before you keep dwelling, dwell on this:
3 years ago...you sir, are just unable to forgive huh..?

I've seen too many examples of this and it's clear to me now:

"I really love [ ], but there is just xyz that bothers me, oh did I mention I love [ ]? because I do"

something like that...you love the fact that you're with her, not necessarily love her. you're protecting your relationship with her more than you protect her. and you also care more about the relationship, than you care about her. Your jealousy is a product of your relationship, not her. see the diff? and where you need to rethink?

oh and when you fix your insecurities, she will probably like you more too.

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Posted

Nichookapo

said: Thanks for all the replies. Big edit, (Can't edit my post for whatever reason)


It turns out it wasn't a slow dance. They grinded on each other. So I really don't know what to do guys.


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Posted

Ninshark said: don't get so clingy man, everyone's gotta have freedom.

oh, and before you keep dwelling, dwell on this:
3 years ago...you sir, are just unable to forgive huh..?

I've seen too many examples of this and it's clear to me now:

"I really love [ ], but there is just xyz that bothers me, oh did I mention I love [ ]? because I do"

something like that...you love the fact that you're with her, not necessarily love her. you're protecting your relationship with her more than you protect her. and you also care more about the relationship, than you care about her. Your jealousy is a product of your relationship, not her. see the diff? and where you need to rethink?

oh and when you fix your insecurities, she will probably like you more too.

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Posted

It's inappropriate to grind like that if you're dating someone unless you have their consent (I know a couple who's like this).
Were you guys dating when she grinded on him?

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Posted

if you were together when it happened, that is touching the line of cheating. many people would say it is flat out cheating.
if you CAN do it, u should dump her, cuz it'll just eat u up inside. if you CANT leave her, focus on a solution rather than the problem.

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