This is how friendzoning works

36 posts in this topic

Posted

7132012165429iwsmt.jpeg


I completely agree with this. Obviously this is only one of many possible "friendzoning" situations, but really, pretty much any situation could be applied to this real-life scenario...
I'm so irritated with seeing this idea of the friend-zone popping up EVERYWHERE. So many guys are just conditioned to think that they're OWED a girlfriend, that they're ENTITLED to the girl that they like just because they're ~*nice*~ and they want their own ~*feelings*~ considered. And then, of course, the woman in this situation is turned into the bad guy just because the feelings aren't returned. Obviously, it's not their fault they don't return the feelings, so why do we need to make up words like "friendzone" in order to shift the blame to someone? And this obviously leads to the arguments of "Girls don't date nice guys, girls only want to date jerks, maybe I should start acting like an richard simmons too!" No, that's not how it works.(DISCLAIMER: Obviously there are situations where the roles here are reversed, and the girl is "friendzoned" by the guy. It definitely happens! I didn't bother bringing it up because for the most part, it is the guy conditioned by society and pop culture to think they deserve the girl of their choice. After all, it's ALWAYS the losery guy who against all odds wins the heart of his favourite girl in all the movies we see... Thus, why we see more guys complaining about this. But that's a topic for another day!)

So guys, hear me out: If you like a girl, work up the courage to TELL HER. If she doesn't like you back, respect her decision and move on with your life like normal. If you flip out about the fact that she only sees you as a friend, maybe you weren't such a good friend to her in the first place!
And on that note, I leave you with a quote about the friendzone's ugly cousin, the nice-guy-versus-bad-guy-conundrum:



"If you’re a 'nice guy' to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Yup, the rejected guy is selfish and needs to move on with dignity and self-respect.
Having said that, I think girls who friendzone guys are just as selfish and lack integrity. Guys don't owe friendships to girls...especially if the girl uses the guy for emotional or material advantages. Of course, girls with no conscious don't care about the proper rules of respect and courtesy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Also, a girl assuming the guy harbors romantic feelings for her, unless he outright says in no uncertain terms "I like you romantically/more than just a friend", should get a reality check; just because you're a female doesn't 100% automatically mean every male friend desires you.  He may find you unattractice in many respects, but is willing to be friends with you because wants someone to talk to when he's bored/his best friend isn't available/because he doesn't want to see the latest romantic comedy with his Army buddy/etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Should this post be put in a rant section? I see nothing of value to anybody...


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

This is so odd because I went into a Walmart to apply for a job and one the managers kept hitting on me instead.
I would like to say that I was flattered, but I'm not even homosexual.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Yup, the rejected guy is selfish and needs to move on with dignity and self-respect.


Having said that, I think girls who friendzone guys are just as selfish and lack integrity. Guys don't owe friendships to girls...especially if the girl uses the guy for emotional or material advantages. Of course, girls with no conscious don't care about the proper rules of respect and courtesy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Yup, the rejected guy is selfish and needs to move on with dignity and self-respect.

Having said that, I think girls who friendzone guys are just as selfish and lack integrity. Guys don't owe friendships to girls...especially if the girl uses the guy for emotional or material advantages. Of course, girls with no conscious don't care about the proper rules of respect and courtesy.

But the thing is there isn't really a strict friendzone. Its all perception. And why is it wrong for a girl to have perceive someone as simply a friend based on her own perception of what a friend should be, or whether she would find him a potential romance based on her own standards. On the flipside, there are plenty of friendships that end up becoming something else, and it may or may not have been perceiced by both parties as genuinely friendship up until that point.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

That's exactly why people need to say what they're feeling in unambiguous terms.  I understand that it probably isn't exciting or sexy, but all these "well, I gave him enough nonverbal clues, he should get the picture" is just dumb.  If the female decides at any point she doesn't want a romantic relationship with her guy friend, she doesn't need to wait for said guy friend to admit romantic feelings for her; just lay down the groundrules and go from there.  I would hope people are mature enough to understand that concept.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Can I copy/paste this to my facebook? I will of course give credit. lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

@Malice_Kaiser

Let me just say that I don't agree with the friendzoning either. I truly don't believe that a guy or girl can be genuine friends (unless they knew each other since primary school or the girl is a girlfriend/wife of a close male friend). If I first met a girl a few months back there can be no way we can be genuine friends (if we start getting close it's because we are both somehow interested in a romantic way).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Jasper.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

God this is hilarious! Yeah alot of nice guys think just cos they act a certain way they're automatically entitled to a certain girl, or several girls.
The whole hidden agenda 'I'm treating you this way cos I expect certain things back' is really frustrating at times.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I've also read something similar to this except that in the other scenario, they did submit an application but the employer had to turn them down even though they met all the requirements and the other guy was lousy.

Why is it that people always compare relationships to jobs? It's not that easy. Getting into your desired career is so much harder. :))

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I never really took the whole 'friendzone' thing to heart since I've always assumed it to be a satirical approach on the reality of most relationships nowadays. I'm a woman and frankly, I don't think there's anything annoying/offensive about the topic.

I actually find it weird that some people take that topic to heart - it's supposed to be humorous, not to spark annoyance or insult anyone.

PS. I do think though that 'friendzone', in essence, is brought up by the fact that there are a lot of jerks (both guys and girls) out there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Honestly as bad as this sounds..
Being a douchebag is the lesser of two evils if you were to choose to be a nice guy or a douchebag.
Cocky, arrogant guys at least know what they want and will do what it takes to get it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Honestly as bad as this sounds..


Being a douchebag is the lesser of two evils if you were to choose to be a nice guy or a douchebag.


Cocky, arrogant guys at least know what they want and will do what it takes to get it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

@Malice_Kaiser


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

There's so many different factors to each uniquely different situation that it's difficult to really define the "friend zone."

I apparently "friendzoned" my ex-boyfriend in high school.  He confessed his feelings for me at the start of our freshman winter break.  He asked me to think about it and give him an answer.  I thought about it and gave him an answer about a week later that we could only be friends.  He said he accepted that.  After we got over the awkwardness of the confession, we actually did become good friends.  A few years later though, he griped to another friend about how I took him for granted.  Wtf??  He'd liked other girls in those few years.  I thought we were cool.

A bunch of richard simmons went down in my family, and I ended up moving away for a year, temporarily forgetting about the whole incident.  When I moved back, we re-established our friendship and eventually ended up dating for a while.  I did have some genuine feelings for him, but I think we ended up dating primarily because I felt guilty that he harbored feelings for me all those years.  I was in a loveless relationship for well over a year.

In another instance, I have a guy friend that took this girl out on a bunch of dates.  Keep in mind that this girl lived about an hour and a half away and he would drive all this way to see her in the morning and then drive the same distance at night to go home.  When he wanted to one-up it and go all in for a relationship, she out of nowhere said that they could only be friends.  He accumulated thousands of miles for a girl who used him for free food, etc.

I think that in every "friend zone" both parties are responsible for their individual actions or inactions.  Unfortunately though,  I think it's inevitable that either one or both will end up hurt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

There's so many different factors to each uniquely different situation that it's difficult to really define the "friend zone."



I apparently "friendzoned" my ex-boyfriend in high school.  He confessed his feelings for me at the start of our freshman winter break.  He asked me to think about it and give him an answer.  I thought about it and gave him an answer about a week later that we could only be friends.  He said he accepted that.  After we got over the awkwardness of the confession, we actually did become good friends.  A few years later though, he griped to another friend about how I took him for granted.  Wtf??  He'd liked other girls in those few years.  I thought we were cool.



A bunch of shit went down in my family, and I ended up moving away for a year, temporarily forgetting about the whole incident.  When I moved back, we re-established our friendship and eventually ended up dating for a while.  I did have some genuine feelings for him, but I think we ended up dating primarily because I felt guilty that he harbored feelings for me all those years.  I was in a loveless relationship for well over a year.



In another instance, I have a guy friend that took this girl out on a bunch of dates.  Keep in mind that this girl lived about an hour and a half away and he would drive all this way to see her in the morning and then drive the same distance at night to go home.  When he wanted to one-up it and go all in for a relationship, she out of nowhere said that they could only be friends.  He accumulated thousands of miles for a girl who used him for free food, etc.



I think that in every "friend zone" both parties are responsible for their individual actions or inactions.  Unfortunately though,  I think it's inevitable that either one or both will end up hurt.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now