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Is blood relations important?

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Posted

I'm the type of person that don't bond well with just anyone, even family. Honestly I can say I hate the majority of my relatives however my dad thinks I'm just going through a phase and always lecturing me how "blood is thicker than water" when it comes to relationships. He says that's all I'll have left when I'm older, which he's probably right. I however can not stand them though,literally I've had some die on me and I didn't care. A lot of them has treated with great disrespect, especially during the time I was extremely depressed. Those years of bs has made me not care for them at all. I talked to my friends about this and they agree with my father saying family is the most important but I can't believe it. I don't believe being related is as important compared to overall good relationships.

So my question is, is family really important just because you're related?

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Posted

Nah, I see where you're coming from.  From my perspective, if it was just somebody that you've yet to meet and don't know much about then I'd give them the initial benefit of the doubt (to a certain extent) while getting to know them as blood relatives.  But if it were a relative that has an established track record of blatantly being disrespectful and inconsiderate to me just simply as a person ... or actually cites / believes that kinship ties inherently should accord particular privileges and considerations, then all bets are off.  Plain and simple, trust and respect has to be earned for everybody and anybody.

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Posted

So my question is, is family really important just because you're related?

I think immediate family is important, and maybe some distant relatives too (if you see them on a regular basis to establish strong bonds b/t each other).

It is awkward, though, to hang out with "blood" relatives if you rarely see them (i.e. visiting) and moreso if there are no common interests

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Posted

I think immediate family is important, and maybe some distant relatives too (if you see them on a regular basis to establish strong bonds b/t each other).

It is awkward, though, to hang out with "blood" relatives if you rarely see them (i.e. visiting) and moreso if there are no common interests

That's another problem I have as well, I loathe my brother. I can totally say if he were to get hit by a car, struck by lightning, mutilated by a cannibal, I really wouldn't care.

So why do you believe immediate family are on a special spot compared to other relatives?

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Posted

I would ask the question from different perspectives.

Would you want your own daughter to care if your son (her brother) died?

Would you want your own kids to care if you died?

Would you want your descendants to help each other persevere throughout the generations? Or just befriend strangers and help them instead?

To me, of course blood relations is important. It doesn't over power everything but it's pretty important.

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Posted

I don't find family that important to be honest. I've cut ties off from all my family and to be brutally honest I don't care. I hated them all anyway. People always tell me "Family is very important. When no one is there anymore you will always have them," which I do believe to an extent but it doesn't apply to everyone. It's like how people say that a mother's love is unconditional, but I've come to terms that that's just a load of BS, along with every other piece of nonsense that comes out of people's mouths. I've had a load of relatives die on me, and I've just been desensitized from death. I even skipped their funerals because I really didn't care.

I am very bitter towards my family, but in all honesty I'm just bitter towards all of humanity.

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Posted

Sure I fight with my family a lot... But when everything is said and done... Family will always be there for you. Cherish them... Because one day you won't even be able to see them even if you wanted to.

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Posted

I guess this really depends on what context you are talking about.

But in general, I do not believe that blood relations are very important.  True, we should and we usually do love our close blood relations.  But that is generally because we grow up with them.  If you are referring to the strength of bonds that can be formed, I would argue that blood does not determine family.. An adopted child is most likely going to love their adopted relatives just as much as they would love people who were actually related to them by blood.  You can choose your friends and, to a degree, depending on how you look at it, you can choose who you consider as family and those ties can be starker emotionally than bonds that are shaped purely on genetic factors.

Similarly, it is possible to really dislike people even if they are related to you by blood similar in your situation. Hopefully  though, you still care about them, but you don't have to like them.

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Posted

^Agree.

Blood relationships are important since it matters in that part of who we are as derived from our family ancestry. Blood relations do provide a convenient means of forming close family and extended family which largely consists of blood relations. Further, the knowledge of the blood relation, and particularly mothers carrying the young ones in their wombs and giving them birth, does contribute to developing a closer bond between people. But that does not necessarily mean that they are positive relationships. I would say that "family" is very important. I have known people who have come from dysfunctional families but have other relationships with people who are not blood related and those relationships have been stronger. 

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Posted

In extreme cases where your family abuses you or neglects you wickedly, then of course you'd be better off.

But in general, family is important. They're the only people who've known you since day one. They watched you grow, and in many ways, understand you better than most. Theyre also more likely to stick by you.

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Posted

So why do you believe immediate family are on a special spot compared to other relatives?

just like someone else already pointed out, you lived/grew up with them the majority of your life and inevitably had to help each other at times to get through the times.

(maybe there's a vestigial evolutionary component where we subconsciously help our blood relations, i.e. siblings, to increase our chances of continuing our genes down the timeline; regardless, i very much love my 16 month old nephew and would die/give all my assets to him)

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Posted

the parents & grandparents are the most important relatives since they raised you and supported you and taughted you everything since childhood

your grandparents & parents are the highest in rank among all the blood relatives, so they are treated with more respect

the others are not really that important

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Posted

To me it just depends on the person. But whenever I know someone is related to me by blood I think that they are automatically important, I don't know whyy, I guess I was just raised to think that they're important by my parents. But if they turn out to be dislikable then I avoidd, doesn't really happen though. happy.gif

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Posted

I'm the type of person that don't bond well with just anyone, even family. Honestly I can say I hate the majority of my relatives however my dad thinks I'm just going through a phase and always lecturing me how "blood is thicker than water" when it comes to relationships. He says that's all I'll have left when I'm older, which he's probably right. I however can not stand them though,literally I've had some die on me and I didn't care. A lot of them has treated with great disrespect, especially during the time I was extremely depressed. Those years of bs has made me not care for them at all. I talked to my friends about this and they agree with my father saying family is the most important but I can't believe it. I don't believe being related is as important compared to overall good relationships.

So my question is, is family really important just because you're related?

yeah it's important because your related.

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Posted

It is only important if you have have had good relationships with your family. Sometimes that doesn't happen. People are close to their family because they have spent their life living with them and spending time with them. That is what makes a close bond- not some shared genetics.

Some people, especially in Western countries, are completely disconnected from their families for various reasons. They make their own families with their partner and friends and not those that are blood relations.

I think it's a lot easier to separate from your family in western countries and a lot harder in Asian countries because there is more emphasis on blood.

Family is important of course but just because they are your family doesn't always make them good people. I've seen the struggle my husband's family has had with extended family and the battle of respecting that they are blood relations but also that some family are just not very good people. They actually don't really see his father's mother any more, even though they are in the same village, because the horrible things she did became too much. So even in rural Korea in a very traditional area, blood ties do not conquer all.

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Posted

To me, no.

I don't know know/pretty much never talk to anyone on the German side of the "family".

Same goes for the "family" on the western side of the country I live in now.

(I don't know names, how to contact them, nothing. Nobody tells me about them.)

Esther (uh, vagina I came out of) has been abusive for years, so I loathe her.

The only person in the "family" I can tolerate is my dad, who I don't even talk to very much because it's just sleep, get up and work, come home sleep, repeat with him.

So the whole "cherish your family because they'll always be there for you" is BS to me.

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Posted

That's another problem I have as well, I loathe my brother. I can totally say if he were to get hit by a car, struck by lightning, mutilated by a cannibal, I really wouldn't care.

So why do you believe immediate family are on a special spot compared to other relatives?

Unless your brother murdered someone, that's a pretty horrid thing to say. You're practically wishing death on him. That's pretty horrible to say of anybody even if you do hate them or whatever.

Immediate family - since you've grown up with them they actually probably know the real you best because you've grown up with them, you've really got nothing to hide. But with everyone else, even with your closest friends, I bet you probably do hold back some of yourself to some extent (your blunt thoughts, your temper, flatulence tendencies (lol), etc).

You probably have your reasons for not seeing blood relations as that important but for me, family is definitely important. Like Lie said, Friends and boyfriends come and go but my family is always there.

I don't see it as "they're blood so because of that they are above everyone else" but I see it as "I've created an unbreakable bond with them and they HAPPEN to be blood". The bond we created of course do owes some credit to the fact that we're blood-related though. This is cause most people already have the mentality that you SHOULD hold them of great importance because you come from the same gene pool.

I've been through major crap with my family (like serious crap..) but I still love 'em and know that if anything were to happen, it'd be them who'd have my back.

I also I have friends who I consider my family too.

But if you think about it, even those friends of mine will probably put their immediate family or relatives(if they're close to each other) before me when it comes to a crisis or anything. So..even their love and help and the strength of our bond is limited (imo).

So when it boils down to the nitty gritty.. it'd still be my family first.

edit:

To summarize: For me it's family first (including relatives), unless they're not good people.. which I'm happy to say that I'm pretty lucky to not have the selfish, greedy, disrespectful kind. :).

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Posted

Unless your brother murdered someone, that's a pretty horrid thing to say. You're practically wishing death on him. That's pretty horrible to say of anybody even if you do hate them or whatever.

Immediate family - since you've grown up with them they actually probably know the real you best because you've grown up with them, you've really got nothing to hide. But with everyone else, even with your closest friends, I bet you probably do hold back some of yourself to some extent (your blunt thoughts, your temper, flatulence tendencies (lol), etc).

You probably have your reasons for not seeing blood relations as that important but for me, family is definitely important. Like Lie said, Friends and boyfriends come and go but my family is always there.

I don't see it as "they're blood so because of that they are above everyone else" but I see it as "I've created an unbreakable bond with them and they HAPPEN to be blood". The bond we created of course do owes some credit to the fact that we're blood-related though. This is cause most people already have the mentality that you SHOULD hold them of great importance because you come from the same gene pool.

I've been through major crap with my family (like serious crap..) but I still love 'em and know that if anything were to happen, it'd be them who'd have my back.

I also I have friends who I consider my family too.

But if you think about it, even those friends of mine will probably put their immediate family or relatives(if they're close to each other) before me when it comes to a crisis or anything. So..even their love and help and the strength of our bond is limited (imo).

So when it boils down to the nitty gritty.. it'd still be my family first.

edit:

To summarize: For me it's family first (including relatives), unless they're not good people.. which I'm happy to say that I'm pretty lucky to not have the selfish, greedy, disrespectful kind. :).

That's the thing, I don't mind if it's horrible. I'm a horrible person, years with living him caused me to hate him. I have my reasons, even if you don't agree with them.

None of my family members know me or my interests, more like disregards it actually. I have to agree with you on the friends part but everything else I'm not mutual about. Thank you for your impute though, I like seeing other people's perspective.

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Posted

I have to admit, although it doesn't really apply to me, the saying blood is thicker than water isn't always true. Some people don't see family as family, and those are the type that you should either avoid or stay away from the ones that actually do see you as family but you don't.

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Posted

I understand where you're coming from, in terms of disliking your relatives because there's some relatives that I couldn't care less if they died too. I mean I sound evil, but sometimes you just have to not care for people like that. My relatives were rude, disrespectful----always criticize and I just can't associate with people like that, even if they're my family or not. So, my answer is that blood relation is not important, what important is the fact that you love yourself and you surround yourself with people that loves you and care for you. They may be blood, but that's it...if they do not treat you well then why should you do the same, it makes no sense. I don't think blood is thicker than water, it's actually my happy poopoo because there are some family that really treats their children or family awful, so no...blood is definitely not thicker than water, in the sense of family ties.

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