She just stopped talking to me out of the blue.

53 posts in this topic

Posted

what the hell..?
Hey guys, I need some insight as to why this girl just stopped talking/replying to my texts all of a sudden. It's so weird because everything was going great (or atleast that's what I thought) between us and they way she just stopped talking to me was kind of...random and it caught me by surprise since I dont remember doing/saying anything remotely wrong/offending to her. Anyway here goes:

I've known the girl for 2 months now and we've been talking or texting each other from morning till night for almost a month. Just a week ago, I went to her condo and she made a meal for me (a good one, btw) and we bonded and talked for almost 5 hours. She even suggested that we go on a "mini-trip." Anyway fastforward a week later, she canceled on the trip. That was fine for me but what bothered me was a day after she canceled, she stopped talking to me and even replying to my texts. I tried calling her but she doesnt pick up. What the hell?

Ive been driving myself crazy thinking of possible reasons why she suddenly disappeared. Now, I realize I shouldnt be hung-up over something like this since we've only known each other for a couple of months but I am. I miss her alot. I was so used to getting up at 9am and seeing a text from her greeting me a goodmorning and try to strike up a convo but that's gone now and it's so frustrating that I don't even know why I lost that in the first place.

Oh yeah, the last time I got in contact with her was wednesday night and we were talking about her homework at that time so it was nothing serious.

I need help :( what do you think is the reason why she just disappeared on me and what should I do now? I really want it to go back to the way it was. :\

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Posted

maybe she got a bf and decide to talk to u less????

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Posted

maybe she got a bf and decide to talk to u less????

I tried to see this as a possibility but then I remembered she said she enjoyed being single (she just broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before we met). Plus, we've had a purely platonic relationship so far, so hiding it from me wouldnt make any sense. She also doesnt seem mean enough to just suddenly ignore me all of a sudden without any word. I hate this feeling :(

thanks for the quick reply, btw.

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Posted

this happened to me too haha.. turns out she got a bf.

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Posted

Confront her about it: "We don't talk as much anymore..."

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Posted

A lot of girls (or people in general I suppose, but it happens more often with girls) will drop you if they're going through a rough emotional time. Their explanation is generally that they can't handle anything serious in their lives at the moment, and they need space. So it could be some unforeseen emotional issue she's going through, OR, perhaps she DOES prefer to be single right now, and she saw that you guys were heading down a path that likely was going to lead to a relationship, which caused her to freak out and create distance between you guys (by blocking you out of her life).

Just some advice going forward: in my experience, make sure you don't overwhelm or hound her at this point trying to find out what's wrong (i.e. don't send her a lot of texts or phone calls). Generally if a girl puts space between you, she wants you to respect that, and she'll get back to you when she's ready to.

This makes sense, I guess. I don't know how she got that vibe though because I wasn't making a move on her yet. Plus, what made her suddenly decide to stop talking to me while we were talking about her homework is really puzzling @_@

Talking to her sort of became a habit for me already and I really enjoyed her company so I do hope you're right when you said she'd come around soon (or whenever she's ready)

Thanks for the advice. :)

Confront her about it: "We don't talk as much anymore..."

The only way I'd get a response at this point is if I go to their house but I think that'd be a bad idea. I might look like some crazy fool begging her to talk to me. Perhaps I'll just text her in a couple of days and try that line but for now waiting, like Lie suggested, seems like the best thing to do right now.

this happened to me too haha.. turns out she got a bf.

That stinks. She shouldve atleast told you that it wont be a good idea to keep in touch anymore because she got a boyfriend.

Thanks for the replies, guys :)

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Posted

wow.. that's weird. there's a million possible reasons for this. i don't think it's much use asking random ppl on soompi. =\

you can either ask her about it or you can drop it and carry on with your life like she was never there. Considering you're THIS hung up on her, it's not a big deal going to her place, is it? Seeing her is better than you thinking about it in your room. Plus, you might surprise yourself. Maybe she wants to see you too, but can't due to some.... unusual circumstance? LOL *korean drama mode* hahahah.

texting more and more won't help, since she's not replying to ur texts. or calling her, since she can see your no. I suppose you can always use a mutual friend's phone to call her, and see whether she hangs up on you... ?

Whatever you choose, good luck.

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Posted

Odds on she got a bf, or decided to spend more time with one of the other guys she's into. This happened to me last Summer. Except the girl told a lot of lies about not hanging out. That varied from car troubles to being beat up in her apartment. Then most recently this girl gave me the give me a little time before we hangout speech, because I'm school is my first priority. Yet she throws a party Memorial Day weekend. But of course she blows me off I don't hear from her again.

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Posted

She probably has no interest in you anymore and probably does not want to hurt or offend you? I'm not sure but it would be better if this girl was more straight forward other than just simply ignoring you -.-

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Posted

It seems that she lost interest and does not know how to handle that gracefully. She was possibly less interested in you than you were in her in the first place. Like someone else said though, there's a million different explanations for this. If you really want to know, ask her straight up and say you just want some closure with the truth. Otherwise, try not to get too hung up and move on. Detach yourself from her. :) Think of it this way: if she's the type of girl to just go and ditch you like that and ignore you, is she REALLY the type of girl you want to hang with?

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Posted

She never struck me as the type who'd stop talking to someone just because she lost interest in the person. But then again, I just knew her for a couple of months so perhaps she just hid that well.

Anyway, I've come to a decision to just go to her condo on Friday and attempt to get in contact with her if she still hasn't contacted me within the week. I'm still not sure how that would help my case to get things back to the way it was but like most of you said, it's the only way to get to know the truth after all.

I haven't given much thought about what I should say or how I should act when I see her (hopefully shes there) , so any of you guys could help me there? I'm not really good at this stuff. lol.

Thanks for the replies. Theyre really helping me alot. :)

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Posted

^Good luck, tell us it how it goes!

Gotta hate people who keep you hanging :/

IMO though, she probably just found someone new...

Maybe just take the casual straight-up approach when you see her.

Like, "hey, just came over to see what's doin... did something happen? =( Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

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Posted

before going to her condo, any chance of meeting up with a mutual friend & attempting to flesh out some info? if the mutual friend says she doesn't want to see u, then u'd better not be going, of course. But if the mutual friend says the opposite, then u wouldn't need to wait till the end of the week ^^

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Posted

I did the exact same to another guy. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years, had a really hard time forgetting about him, so I tried to focus on this other guy for a few weeks. Then i realized that i was just trying deny the breakup and push it away. I told the other guy I wasn't ready for anything and that I'm just really confused. It just felt wrong to force myself with another guy you know? it wasn't right for him either. Maybe your girl thought somehting similar? I could be completely wrong though :\

I tried to see this as a possibility but then I remembered she said she enjoyed being single (she just broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before we met). Plus, we've had a purely platonic relationship so far, so hiding it from me wouldnt make any sense. She also doesnt seem mean enough to just suddenly ignore me all of a sudden without any word. I hate this feeling :(

thanks for the quick reply, btw.

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Posted

^Good luck, tell us it how it goes!

Gotta hate people who keep you hanging :/

IMO though, she probably just found someone new...

Maybe just take the casual straight-up approach when you see her.

Like, "hey, just came over to see what's doin... did something happen? =( Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

Or perhaps someone old because I just realized just now that this month is supposed to be the anniversary month of her and her ex had they not broken up.. I'm not exactly sure what date it was but I do know that its this month. Perhaps they did make up and she decided to stop talking to me out of respect to him. But then again, she seems a decent person and decent people just don't do these kinds of things. On the other hand, Ive only known her for a couple of months. @____________________@

Ugh. Maybe I'm just over-thinking things now.

before going to her condo, any chance of meeting up with a mutual friend & attempting to flesh out some info? if the mutual friend says she doesn't want to see u, then u'd better not be going, of course. But if the mutual friend says the opposite, then u wouldn't need to wait till the end of the week ^^

No chance because I only know only one of her friends and she's out of the country. :(

I did the exact same to another guy. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years, had a really hard time forgetting about him, so I tried to focus on this other guy for a few weeks. Then i realized that i was just trying deny the breakup and push it away. I told the other guy I wasn't ready for anything and that I'm just really confused. It just felt wrong to force myself with another guy you know? it wasn't right for him either. Maybe your girl thought somehting similar? I could be completely wrong though :\

If this was the case, I'd be able to accept it easier since I know the reason. But then, I never felt she was forcing it because from my perspective, she was trying to keep our relationship as purely casual and platonic as possible.Maybe I'm just a very VERY VERRRYYYYY dense person. lol. I applaud you though, for being fair to the guy. I wish more women did that rather than pulling this kind of crap. :\

Anyway, I'd just like to say that the only thing thats keeping my head above the water right now is how most of my female friends I asked about this (guys didn't have a clue and I'm never really open to talk about this stuff to my guy friends) gave me positive feedback saying that she might like me and that she just got tired of dropping hints (according to them, the time I spent at their condo was my chance to be intimate with her - which I wasted because I spent too much of that time trying to do the opposite because of the fear of rejection) and is saving herself the trouble of getting friendzoned.

Oh the irony! -_- What do you guys think of this possibility? Personally, this would be the best case scenario for me since maybe I could save what we had by surprising her and tell her mushy stuff. haha. Thoughts?

Also, I feel stupid for not thinking of this earlier but should I use facebook to get in touch with her? Im not sure if she's active in facebook because Im not her friend in the network. I never got the chance to add her because I was never active myself. Im not into the whole social networking thing. haha. Should I or shouldnt I?

Im sorry for being so clueless about these kinds of things and asking shallow questions like the facebook thing. Truthfully, I never really had my way with women. This is actually the first time I'm taking a big (for me atleast) risk and go to her condo so I'm pretty nervous. I'm tired of falling flat on my face because I didnt do anything.

Wish me luck guys. I'll need every bit of it because if I fail again, I can't imagine how awful I'd feel afterwards since this whole taking-a-leap is new for me. haha.

Thanks for the support and replies. :) I'll update you guys if something relevant happens within the week or if my over-thinking self comes up with another plausible reason/theory about why she just disappeared. Long post is long.

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Posted

Hmmm, it seems odd that she's suddenly decided to stop talking to you like that. It's only been a little while, so she might be very busy, but it still seems insensitive that she hasn't replied. I'd give it a little time, say a week, and stop contacting her. Then after the week's over, try to get in touch with her again. Just fb her/text her saying, 'hey, where have you been? We haven't talked as much lately! You been busy?' or something and just wait/see if she replies. If she doesn't then, her loss. If she does reply...well, see what she replies! It could just be she's very busy. Wait and see- meanwhile, there's nothing you can do now if she's not replying, and there's no way of knowing what she's doing, so just chill and try to get it out of your mind :)

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Posted

At times, girls need their space. Depending on how you communicate with her and how often, sometimes it can be rather annoying, but of course, this might not apply to your case! :) And plus, she could have something on her mind currently or be talking to a new love interest. It's really hard to say. You should definately talk to her because she's the only one that can answer your question. Everyone is filled with emotional times, so don't let it get to you! ;D

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Posted

It might have nothing to do with you. It could be a family/personal/work related issue. Since you don't know much you shouldn't assume it's you.

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Posted

get over it and quit whining like a little girl. unless she was putting out for you, it isnt a big deal. maybe she just got sick of you or whatever. go find someone new

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Posted

It could be that she got bad grades and her parents found out about that

and so grounded her and took her phone away :D lol maybe.

Or her phone bill went too high and her dad took her phone away and was

reading all your txts :P

but yea it could be she got annoyed, or felt that you guys were constantly

talking to each other that the relationship was moving on, or she's having

a rough time.

I was gonna say FB her, but too bad you didn't add her before this happened.

:/ Ne who, GOOD LUCK! Just expect something good or something bad. Which you

have been doing so far. :P

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