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Tofu_Cloud, 16 Aug 2009
Posted 16 Aug 2009
yes, that is perfectly normal and fine
Of course you could just walk out of this but that wouldn't really solve anything. You would still have to see them day in and day out, and aside from the silent grudges, your parents would be more involved, and in the end nobody is really happy. Why don't you try getting this bitter and unhappy family member to open up a bit about him/herself? It sounds like everyone in the family is just busy living their own lives, never really trying to address the problems of loved ones. Yes it wouldn't be particularly correct to say that any of you are directly involved in his/her emotional distress but if what you posted was the case [that they are the one bringing everyone else down] then you and your family are responsible for talking it through with them, to open up that fork in the road - because your not only helping him then, but the rest of the family and yourself as well. I understand that it's not in your best interests to do this but it is the only way everyone is going to be happy, sometimes we just got to look aside of our immediate wants.
i don't know what happened with u and ur sibling, but i wouldn't recommend never talking to them again, i mean he/she is family..i couldn't imagine not talking to my family..unless u have a really big reason..
I think it is okay for someone to never speak with a family member again. Maybe it will save more problems from starting and less chaos in the family. In the end, it will depend on whether both sides will forgive and forget (and what the fight was about), or at least take the step to keep in touch.. even if things are never the same again.
I have experienced this before.
the weird part is i DID confront this person.. and they person made it seems like "im the problem"
they would change the subject and attack me back....
this person is older then me and its hard to change this person... they will never change...
well family is family, you only get one family. you don't have to like the person, but you gotta at least always be able to talk to everyone in your family
i suggest reconciliation, but if that's not possible... then just talk as if nothing's happened, just ignore the fight and just talk. cuz like it or not, you'll keep seeing this family member throughout the rest of your life, so permanent silent treatment is hard on both parties
That's hard, but if you feel better off without them or; if it's best for your family. Even if it's just one individual. It shouldn't be like that.
I'm still not sure how to really answer your question :/
I hate my sister & would cry from happiness if she died right now. So ya. I think just not talking to a sibling is fine.
^ Wow, that really shocks me to see that written in words...
I wouldn't suggest never speaking with a family member again, but I don't fully know your situation. But from what I have read very briefly, then I agree with what twenty4k wrote.
The saying of like "family is forever. you will only have one family" is SO bs sometimes. It's so typical asian saying sort of crap. I dont buy into it...
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even if you hate them, it doesn't really mean it's okay to not talk to them ever again.
i do truly believe in that blood is much thicker than water.
in times of need, when everyone has abandoned you, family might be the only thing you have.
my dad does not get along well with his family at all. they're always yelling and everything. but they still talk and help each other out.
i don't know your situation but i wouldn't advise you not to talk to your family members ever again. =/
If you want to discontinue interacting with a family member, by all means go right ahead. You must have your reasons to do that and if it makes you happy that you don't have to see nor hear from that person, go for it. It's not the end of the world if they're out of your life. If they realize their wrong doings then they'll come and talk with you in a civil manner and reconcile and try to patch up your relationship. If they don't, just shows that sometimes blood isn't thicker than water.
i really don't think you should say this kinda stuff even if you really didn't like her.
being happy at her death is.. over the top.
anyway, if you don't want to talk to them for now, that's okay.
but the future is far away and people change.
so maybe in future, you could talk to your sibling again, even as an acquaintance.
just don't say that you won't ever talk to them again.
i think it's really saddening to see people like that.
I don't think it's okay, but sometimes you can't do anything about it but continue to love them (sounds really jack up but I have 100% proof on this). I totally understand you though because bitterness is something that gets to everyone and it depends how bad it is. I am a very bitter person, but I tend to let it slide just because it doesn't matter after that moment. If it is continually and s/he do not want to reconcile, then you really can't do anything about it except to wait for them to realize their faults. Sometimes it does and will take years for them to change and to confess their issue with you why they treated you that way and such.
I think it's okay. I mean... one of my friends doesn't talk to her dad period. She doesn't even consider him as her dad. And he lives with her mom and she sees him every weekend (loonnngggg story). If they've done something wrong, even if it's family, I don't see why you should have to speak to them. You have a relationship with your family and just like dating or friendship, if the person doesn't respect you or keeps crossing over the boundary, you would stop being friends/date with that person.
I gave up on my sister, my parents ruined her. They won't do anything about it, and they won't let me do anything to fix it. And when I do, they go around and screw things up while I'm gone. I'm done with them. I'm not talking to my sister anymore. She's a lost cause.
Family is with you till the very end. No matter how obnoxious they can get. It is better sometimes to withdraw from those who have hurt you, but no matter what, even if you stop all contacts with this person, you'll always have them in the back of your mind or heart. Maybe not everyday or not that often, but because they're you're blood relative, they'll always be family. I just believe that no matter how many times your family member can hurt you, it's best to forgive and forget. People that intentionally act up and be mean to others are lacking something, a good friend.
I'm speaking from experience, btw. My sister, my aunts, and my cousins. They've done some things to me that at that moment I'd never thought I'd be able to forgive them, but once things began to subside, the love I had for them, despite what they've said and done, was much stronger than the hate I felt towards them. I wouldn't be able to disown any of them.
"Friends will betray you, but Family - family is always there for you until the end". I can't imagine not living without my family, they're the only people I have to rely on. They raised me, they cared for me and even though I don't talk to them that often, that doesn't mean I don't love them.
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