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Overreacting? What Should I Do? Advice Please =/

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Posted

boyfriend problems..
So heres my story.

This is first boyfriend and we've been going out for 8 months now. But the thing is i cant trust him anymore.

A few weeks ago, i found out from a mutual friend that he was shopping and eating out with his ex. I didnt know if this was considered cheating or not, since ex-es can still be friends right? i confronted him and he said it was nothing and that they were just friends. and promised to tell me everything from now on.

by the way, my boyfriend, my friend and his ex go to the same school but i dont.

So yesterday. i was talking to my friend and he was telling me how his ex has no friends and my bf is her only friend. and he saw him tying her shoes in class. i was really mad when i heard that. Now im mad at my boyfriend but he has no idea why.

I want to tell him why im mad, but it sounds so silly. Am i overreacting?

it sounds like im getting my friend to stalk him if i tell him how i found out all this info. But im not. my friend just happen to bring it up.

so what should i do?

any advice please??

im a newbie to relationships =/

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Posted

Bring it up and tell him your concerns. State why you feel the way you do, and that in no way are you suspicious or think he's cheating, be sure to tell him it's cos you care.

DON'T accuse whatever you do.

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Posted

You are overreacting, which is understandable since you said you're new to relationships.

Confront him if you wish, but use "I" instead of accusing. (i.e. "I feel like you...." instead of "you make me feel....") People seem to react better and are less defensive this way.

Good luck.

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Posted

so...you're jealous he tied her shoes.

you should hear about what this group of people i know do. ==' it's like... an orgy...and they treat it like it's normal friendly behaviour LOL

_ eh. i get how that may be a sign of something suspicious.. _ and i'm a lil weirded out by your friend who tells you these things_

but.. hm..

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Posted

Just talk to him. Communication is the key thing for a relationship.

You shouldn't be too mad at him because you've only heard it from a friend, you have to confirm it from him first, so don't jump to conclusion.

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Posted

so...you're jealous he tied her shoes.

you should hear about what this group of people i know do. ==' it's like... an orgy...and they treat it like it's normal friendly behaviour LOL

_ eh. i get how that may be a sign of something suspicious.. _ and i'm a lil weirded out by your friend who tells you these things_

but.. hm..

yea it sounds retarded. haha but she has hands, she cant do it herself?

the thing im mad about is why cant he tell me these things himself? like when they went shopping? and how hes her only friend? (shes hated in school for being a sl*t) Why do i have to rely on my friend?

My friend is my closest friends since 8th grade so i trust him.

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Posted

It's not like you two just started going out. It's been eight whole months. If he had any respect for that fact and for you, he wouldn't be anywhere near his ex. I think this guy is playing around with you. This requires gentle confrontation. You basically have to let him know that you don't appreciate him spending all this time with his ex when you've been together almost a year, and that he will have to choose between that ex and you. At this point you should be his top priority. Eight months? No more kidding around!

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Posted

yea it sounds retarded. haha but she has hands, she cant do it herself?

the thing im mad about is why cant he tell me these things himself? like when they went shopping? and how hes her only friend? (shes hated in school for being a sl*t) Why do i have to rely on my friend?

My friend is my closest friends since 8th grade so i trust him.

if a guy tied your shoelaces, would you tell your bf?

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Posted

I say CONFRONT HIM! Ask himm about whatever you want to ask him. And no, you're not over reacting. You're just "curious" lol. I'd be mad if my BF tied another girls shoelace becuz he ties mine! LoL. Just talk to him, as some said before, communication is very, very important in a relationship. Talk about everything between you two.

My BF used to not tell me anything, like how he feels when I hugged one of my guy friends and when I talked to them, then he told me and how he felt about it so I stopped doing it.

Good luck with everything!

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Posted

You have every right to be a little curious. A simple task of tying her shoe laces goes a long way. She does have hands and she can tie her shoes herself. Going as far as bending down and tying another girls shoes is pretty extreme in my opinion.

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Posted

Shopping and eating out with his ex? Tying her shoes?

OK, tying her shoes may be something that a guy would make up, but your boyfriend came clean about shopping and eating with her WITHOUT YOU KNOWING. There's lots of reason to be suspicious because there's no good reason that a committed boyfriend would not tell their significant other about this kind of thing.

I'd say not only confront but also set limits on what can't and can be done with exs and other people. If he can't comply then I might say he's not worth it. :/

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Posted

people who are just your friend dont tie your shoe laces for you. So being angry or curious about what is happening is not overreacting at all. just confront him, and if he truly only has eyes for you, he would understand why you are acting the way you're acting. just make sure you talk everything out properly, dont leave anything unsaid.

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Posted

It's not like you two just started going out. It's been eight whole months. If he had any respect for that fact and for you, he wouldn't be anywhere near his ex. I think this guy is playing around with you. This requires gentle confrontation. You basically have to let him know that you don't appreciate him spending all this time with his ex when you've been together almost a year, and that he will have to choose between that ex and you. At this point you should be his top priority. Eight months? No more kidding around!

I fully agree with dramaprincessxox here.

8 months is quite some time.

Now I'm not saying that your boyfriend can't HANG with your ex, of course he can, but not all the time.

Like drama said, gentle confrontation is needed. But seriously, you are right too.

She has hands, she should use them herself. I mean we are not talking about children now here are we?

I'm assuming he and his ex are like above their 16's? Tell me a person who can't tie their own shoes at that age.

This is wrong in a way too. Obviously your bf wanted to lend her a hand, but your bf's ex knew she could tie it herself, so the question is? why let the boy do it? lol. Awkward. =/

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Posted

I think you have every right to over react, shoe laces? She can't do it herself? How old is she? Lol. Just tell him how you feel. He should understand, since you two have been dating for 8months.

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Posted

I say CONFRONT HIM! Ask himm about whatever you want to ask him. And no, you're not over reacting. You're just "curious" lol. I'd be mad if my BF tied another girls shoelace becuz he ties mine! LoL. Just talk to him, as some said before, communication is very, very important in a relationship. Talk about everything between you two.

My BF used to not tell me anything, like how he feels when I hugged one of my guy friends and when I talked to them, then he told me and how he felt about it so I stopped doing it.

Good luck with everything!

Omg JabbaWockeez, I <3 your Avatar! XD

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Posted

^^ hahaha thanks! i like it too!

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