i emotionally invested myself into this person. i tried to guard myself as much as possible but failed due to my clouded logic/judgement. he was a tool to begin with but the more i saw him the more i grew fond of him i was just "girlfriend" number 11 to him. my heart feels like its been thrown into a blender. i truly thing this is a blessing in disguise but i really thought for once i would be able to date a guy i was actually attracted to (and he would feel the same way)... it's always the ones you don't give two craps about that follow you around and act like they are enslaved to you when all you want is for them to go away.... WHY... WHY do i put myself in these situations and repeatedly hurt myself? it took alot in me not to cry today even though i wanted to..
damn this weak mind of mine.... i wish i could say "bye felicia" UGHHHH men ....seriously annoy me.. *___* is it that difficult for me to find a guy who makes me feel secure, safe, and happy? i dont know why its just SO hard for people to be good doesn't it take less effort?
i dont often use online dating websites because i find that most men on them tend to be liars and/or scumbags. one day i was bored at work and decided "hey what the hell... i'm bored, this may be a nice way to pass time", so i created a profile and started fishing. i received a couple messages from different men and picked out the ones i was somewhat interested in and gave them my contact information. then i deleted my profile completely. there was one guy in particular who seemed to be quite pushy and thirsty but seemed decent enough to meet. he would call me and message me everyday and act like he was completely in love with me. i thought it was very sweet and cute and finally went on a date with him. when i saw him in person though i began to have many doubts about him. my intuition was telling me that something was off, but because i was so physically attracted to him i decided to continue seeing him. fast forward three weeks and everything i assumed about online dating comes true. everyone close to me that i spoke to told me to give this guy a chance... but it was ME who was right about him the whole time. i'm just done. i'm DONE