Soompi, we had a good run, but alas it is time to move along on the journey of my boring life as so many great Soompiers have done previously.
NaughtyDog - <3. Take care and keep being your great, wonderful, unique self! We have our differences, but you'll always be a wonderful person in my eyes! Also, I didn't like that kimchi. But I ate tons of it because I didn't want to disappoint you. And man, every bite was worse than the one before it. I didn't fake my enjoyment of any other meal we ate though I promise. I kind of felt like you could tell that I didn't like the kimchi though, so I'm probably a worse of a faker than I thought. odaesan - Keep believing in yourself! Things will get better! You are a good person and you will find that happiness in life. Ninshark - Keep being that crab fishing crazy son of a richard simmons you are. You will find the girl of your dreams one day. Try not to let bitterness towards one bad relationship inform all the others you may one day be in. writer - You are a good man. Keep working on that book, I'm sure it'll be a best seller. I can't wait to read it! Pauline - I'm not typing you a goodbye message here 'cause I talk to you on Skype anyway lol. But just so you know, peanut butter and chocolate is the best candy/dessert combination, and the fact that you don't agree has always made me question your sanity. zantac_2 - You are a good dude. Not to mention quite the catch. If I was gay, you would be my dream hunk. severus - You are hot. So so hot. Hopefully you're taking advantage of that in your everyday life! Arguably the hottest girl on Soompi, except for that one girl who supposedly has had plastic surgery. But who cares? If you're hot you're hot. I wouldn't tell Anna Kendrick no just because she's had a nose job (allegedly). Also: not to get her in trouble, but Pauline gave me your Facebook one day so that I could creep it. To further verify the validity of your hotness: which was indeed validated. I only looked at your Facebook once though. But man did I ever creep it that one time. Sorry. :/ Mr. Power - You are a sweet, genuine person. Which is a weird thing for a guy to say to another guy, but it is very true. I hope Korea is treating you well! Also, please don't delete this (or any other mod), this is my awkward 5+ years of Soompi goodbye swansong. To anyone I've missed - best of luck to you. Remember that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, and even fewer to eat a pie. Technically inaccurate, but just some food for thought.
And now that I've fully embarassed myself, I can log out of my account and leave for good. In full confidence that the stuff I said here was too embarrassing to ever come back to. Bye Soompi!
Nin, you're writing what reads like a "let's feel sorry for this guy" explanation of his behavior. Let's be clear, he's emotionally cheated on a girl he had been with for 8-9 years for over a year now. It doesn't matter what his intentions were, his actions have been horrible. You're focused on his intentions, rosierosie and I are focused on his actions. Which should really be the only thing that matters in this case.
I hate to break this to you, but mid-20s is incredibly young haha. You still have a lot of time and a potential for new people/experiences, I wouldn't shut it all down for one guy who obviously doesn't love you enough to leave his girlfriend for you.
Let's be honest about who this guy is: 1) He's lead two girls on for over a year, whether intentional or unintentional 2) Doesn't appear ready to make a decision anytime soon. 3) As such, gets his day to day affection & attention from you, plus his long-term commitment/feeling of being needed from her.
So the guy is living the life. And sadly both of you are enabling it (either from her overly-understanding "I'm okay if we take a break and date other people" stuff, or from you "I'm cutting off contact, no I love you too much, I'm cutting off contact, no I love you too much" back and forth). I'm not trying to be harsh, merely telling you what your friends would tell you if they weren't so close to the situation. Intentionally or unintentionally, this guy is making a real fool of both of you girls.
I think you're idealizing him. Just because he's the first guy whose understood who you are, doesn't mean he would be the last. If people can find love again after a spouse of 20-30+ years passes away, surely you can find another guy who will "understand who [you] are" if you put yourself out there. Especially given how young I'd imagine you are. Not to mention you're just being masochistic by continuously putting yourself through so much unnecessary pain by sticking around despite his unwillingness to make a decision and stick with it.
@Nin: Hopefully the PhD is something YOU want, and not something you're considering as revenge or to measure up to this girl (which is the way your post read). If it's the 2nd, what happens if you get the PhD and she still doesn't care?
As cliche as it sounds, happiness is the best revenge. Not titles, jobs, money. Forget about measuring up to her, that's not important. The important thing is measuring up to your own standard for yourself. If a PhD is something you really want for yourself, keep it for yourself, don't embitter that nugget of personal gold with mixed feelings about doing it to live up to/challenge someone else's achievements. I don't say this from a place of judgment, I'm rooting for you. Unrelated rant: I didn't realize when I was living in the city how much I missed being able to step into a backyard that was closed off from everyone else by trees, grass, wildlife. At my parents' house today. Watching birds at feeders, bumblebees buzzing by, the occasional hummingbird (they only stay for a few seconds, a few times a day). Even watching ants scuttle about while you sit on a swing and have a cup of coffee. Man, I missed this. Wherever I buy a house, it's going to have a back yard that's closed off to the rest of the world. It feels good to escape the world of people, even if it's only for an hour or two at a time.
@writerstale: Is it for sale anywhere? I'd definitely buy it + pass on the good word to others! Congrats though, I remember you saying you've been working on it for a long time now! I can't wait until my first book is published (and then hopefully several others after if I'm lucky haha), it must be such a satisfying feeling!
Off-topic but thread related: I like everyone I work with. Except for that one guy, he's too pessimistic. But I like everyone else. Well, other than that one lady, she's too much of a gossiper. Everyone else though? Great. Unrelated: I'm learning a lesson I should have learned years ago. If you have nothing good to say, walk away for awhile until your attitude improves. Frequently it does. Yet, don't hold everything in, otherwise you'll explode. There has to be a balance there somewhere.
That's a tough life! Just keep the faith. Once I got my career, and started putting together my own money for my own place, I quickly started to develop that sense of self image/myself you're speaking of. You see a bit of light beyond the tunnel which speaks to a bright future for yourself, and with that many doors in your life will open up. Right now I'm so excited about the idea of going to work every day, meeting new people, building my own house, putting all sorts of books and collectibles in there, getting my own dog or cat, just having my own little life that I get 100% control over. You'll get there too, whatever that life you want involves, you just have to hang on long enough until you find it!
Yeah same here. Although I have played Dying Light (loved it, but a bit repetitive), Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag (beautiful and tapped into my being a pirate fixation lol), and The Last of Us: Remastered on my PS4, so I guess it hasn't gone to total waste. I've also been putting my PS Vita to good use lately with FFX-HD and Persona 4: Golden (not a big Japanese RPG fan, but really fun game). I read the spoiler on another website. REALLY glad I stopped watching the show (having read the books that have been released thus far). I hate to judge without watching, but what a stupid change to make, honestly. Makes zero plot sense, just gratuitous. I'd also gotten to the point where the show wasn't satisfying me in the same way the books had; which I hate to be that person (the "the books are better!" person), but sometimes it's so true.
For me the key to breaking through depression was finding the career I wanted to devote my life to, making sure the people in my life were positive/supportive, and just bettering myself all-around.
I really think the most important element to finding my own happiness was finding a job I liked. Because with that comes: 1) spending your work time doing something you enjoy (feels less like work), 2) having an income that feels secure, and 3) having money to put towards a house/living independently (though I've lived in apartments for awhile, but I think true independence is about owning your own space). I also have spent time over the last 2 years or so getting into better shape physically and in regards to what I eat. These things have improved my outlook on life, which was the biggest factor in battling depression for me. Rarely feel depressed any longer, and even when something happens to upset me, I get over it in a few minutes. I should state though that I never had clinical depression, which in my mind is a much deeper, darker beast to struggle with. I was merely depressed by my own circumstances. That and not having a strong self-image. I knew I was a good person at heart, but I didn't REALLY know who that person was. I wish you the best in your own personal journey!
Want to buy a PS3 again, but they're still SO expensive. Maybe the blu ray functionality factor? Sold mine ages ago to buy my PS4, but I want to go back and replay Uncharted 2 & 3 (along with Ni No Kuni for the first time) SO BAD. CAN'T LET IMPULSES WIN.
Also, love the look of this house that was on Reddit yesterday: HERE Supposedly it's pretty cheap to build a house like that (especially as someone with a family full of carpenters), I'd like to do that someday. Even if someplace as a cheapish summer home.
Congrats on that! I remember our first conversation about the job, keep working your way to the top!
Detroit Comic Con tomorrow, so excited. BTW, when did nerds become so attractive? So many good-looking people there last time I went. What ever happened to D&D and overeating? haha. Now it's blockerbuster comic movies and crunches.
That's how I read your post as well (the way you're explaining). More just you speaking to your experience with people than making a judgment of my situation. I guess I shouldn't have posted it, was just venting in a rant thread didn't foresee myself getting judged for it haha.
FWIW, I found out that a person I thought was a close friend (even one of my best friends) was saying a LOT of really mean-spirited, negative things about me behind my back to another of our friends while I was living elsewhere. Even though that conversation is technically private/between them (the privacy element I mentioned), so I have no business to question/call them on it, I do feel it's unfair of them not to bring their concerns about me to me. I feel like our friendship and the part of their life I had had a part in (we'd been friends for several years) was somewhat false, because I don't know how long they even thought negatively of me for? I question why they couldn't have just brought up these concerns to me personally? Especially when I felt we were close and that everything between us was okay.
Hopefully that sheds some light on where I was coming from, I just didn't want to be specific before because it was a slightly hurtful situation.
In my case they're just a friend of mine, so they don't really owe me anything. But as someone I would have considered a best friend, I just felt I would be more tuned into their life than it appears I am. More hurts my feelings that they didn't feel they could share that part of their life with me. But ehhh, sometimes people are private, and I guess you live and learn. Definitely a wake up call about how close our friendship actually is. Apparently not as close as I thought.