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Guest kiss_bunny

Does it make sense for you to like someone but not want to be in a relationship with them for the time being?
I just got out a relationship 2-3 months ago and I am not completely over my ex. I currently have some feelings for my friend R, but I do not want a relationship. R, on the other hand, is over his most recent relationship but doesn't want a relationship yet. But he likes me. We connect really well and I'm really thankful for his company. We hang out a lot and sometimes we make out and fool around but that's it. 
Should I just go with the flow?I'm actually pretty happy with how things are. I have someone I connect with, and at the same time, do not have to be in a relationship that I am not ready for.


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Guest rainbow.elephants

lol thanks again. But what if he is just indecisive? 
Like what if he wants to be friends but gets jealous when I talk or hang out with guy friends? I would get jealous if he hangs out with other girls but I can't do anything if he says he doesn't want a relationship and just can't be bothered to do anything or dedicate time for me. Like I can give up certain things if he is serious but when he is unsure I don't know what to do...

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hi >/////<

I am really confused about a guy friend lately...

my friend confessed to me even though he knows I have a boyfriend (of 2 years). he said he liked me for over a year now and couldn't keep it secret any longer. he seemed really desperate.....asking me to break up with my boyfriend and be with him. he said things like "I can do better than him" and even tried to kiss me and demanded me to say I have feelings for him too, and it's not just one sided (but I really don't have feelings for anyone but my boyfriend). it was so uncomfortable and I ended up crying..he apologized afterwards through text, but I didn't reply.

one week later, I heard from a mutual friend that he found a girlfriend. what's with him? if he really liked me for a year, he wouldn't be moving on and dating someone so soon, right? I know it's awful of me to care about it because I would never return his feelings anyway, but I just don't understand how someone can confess and then date someone else a week later.

it's been a month now and I don't talk to him anymore. he doesn't contact me anymore either. I feel like I lost a friend, and even if we tried talking again it wouldn't ever be like before. is it ever possible to be friends with this guy again? what should I do if I see him? I've been avoiding him (I saw him at the library and ran away.. and I left a restaurant when I realized he was there too). I see this guy around because he lives in the apartment building right beside mine, goes to the same places.. it's so tiring avoiding him


please help me..thank you so much

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@Saiyu that was cheap of him to do. He probably was desperate for a girlfriend and he thought that you would be easy to get because you know each other. He completely disregarded the fact that you have someone else because he thought that there was a high chance that you would think that he was better than your boyfriend. I don't think that he's worth keeping as a friend, but yes, that will be awkward when you see him. You now have the choice to completely break off that friendship or to try to awkwardly salvage it, which can start up the same situation one more time. He probably lunged at the other girl because he had that desperation.

Real friends don't do things like that. The most one would do is state that he likes you and that he couldn't keep hiding his feelings, but he will continue to be your friend and he won't make things more awkward than that.


@lilliums I really don't go by that saying. That only is a rule of shallow people. They only think that everything is fine if they have the hottest women. I think that it's stupid.

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Guest alwayssonny

lilliums said: I was talking with my male friends, and nearly 100% of them agreed that "the hotter a girl is, the bitchier she's allowed to be." 

Can anyone please explain their opinion on this? Lol.

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Saiyu said: hi >/////<

I am really confused about a guy friend lately...

my friend confessed to me even though he knows I have a boyfriend (of 2 years). he said he liked me for over a year now and couldn't keep it secret any longer. he seemed really desperate.....asking me to break up with my boyfriend and be with him. he said things like "I can do better than him" and even tried to kiss me, but I pushed him away. he even pushed me and demanded me to say I have feelings for him too, and it's not just one sided (but I really don't have feelings for anyone but my boyfriend). it was so uncomfortable and I ended up crying..he apologized afterwards through text, but I didn't reply.

one week later, I heard from a mutual friend that he found a girlfriend. what's with him? if he really liked me for a year, he wouldn't be moving on and dating someone so soon, right? I know it's awful of me to care about it because I would never return his feelings anyway, but I just don't understand how someone can confess and then date someone else a week later.

it's been a month now and I don't talk to him anymore. he doesn't contact me anymore either. I feel like I lost a friend, and even if we tried talking again it wouldn't ever be like before. is it ever possible to be friends with this guy again? what should I do if I see him? I've been avoiding him (I saw him at the library and ran away.. and I left a restaurant when I realized he was there too). I see this guy around because he lives in the apartment building right beside mine, goes to the same places.. it's so tiring avoiding him why did he date another girl so quickly?


please help me..thank you so much

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lilliums said: I was talking with my male friends, and nearly 100% of them agreed that "the hotter a girl is, the bitchier she's allowed to be." 

Can anyone please explain their opinion on this? Lol.

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odaesan

said: @Saiyu that was cheap of him to do. He probably was desperate for a girlfriend and he thought that you would be easy to get because you know each other. He completely disregarded the fact that you have someone else because he thought that there was a high chance that you would think that he was better than your boyfriend. I don't think that he's worth keeping as a friend, but yes, that will be awkward when you see him. You now have the choice to completely break off that friendship or to try to awkwardly salvage it, which can start up the same situation one more time. He probably lunged at the other girl because he had that desperation.



Real friends don't do things like that. The most one would do is state that he likes you and that he couldn't keep hiding his feelings, but he will continue to be your friend and he won't make things more awkward than that.



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Saiyu said:

odaesan

said: @Saiyu that was cheap of him to do. He probably was desperate for a girlfriend and he thought that you would be easy to get because you know each other. He completely disregarded the fact that you have someone else because he thought that there was a high chance that you would think that he was better than your boyfriend. I don't think that he's worth keeping as a friend, but yes, that will be awkward when you see him. You now have the choice to completely break off that friendship or to try to awkwardly salvage it, which can start up the same situation one more time. He probably lunged at the other girl because he had that desperation.



Real friends don't do things like that. The most one would do is state that he likes you and that he couldn't keep hiding his feelings, but he will continue to be your friend and he won't make things more awkward than that.



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^ I have been cutting him out of my life. What I'm saying is- I am sick and tired of always avoiding him. What if I see him face to face? Am I supposed to talk to him at all? Or just act as strangers?.....

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Saiyu said: I don't really want to be friends with him anymore, everything you said is so true... but do you think I should have a talk with him to clear things up? maybe there's something he should explain... our mutual friend told me that he's been going after that other girl (his current girlfriend) since the summer. does that mean his confession to me was total bullsht?... some friends said it was obvious he liked me, but others said he always had interest in the other girl who he's currently dating and didn't even believe me when I told them about what he said to me. and- I forgot to mention that after I rejected his confession, he asked me to be friends with benefits.. he said "your boyfriend never has to know"...and "you don't have to have feelings for me to sleep with me"... I cringe every time I think about it.....I keep seeing him and his new girlfriend at my usual coffee place, the library, around campus... HELP..I don't want to keep dodging around him

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Guest mabuchi

Met a guy over a summer internship. I treat him as a friend, but it seemed like he really liked me (he would try to follow me around, sit near me, listen to the things I said, once another guy asked to share a seat with me during lunch because of the lack of chairs, and while I got up to get some utensils he ended up giving his seat to me and sharing the seat with the other guy...we also made plans to hang with some other friends, but when I dropped out, he made up a very random excuse to drop out also, and hung out with me instead). He seemed to do a lot more extra things with me compared to other girls. I told him I liked him (as a friend, but I left that clarification out because the context seemed obvious), and he said he liked me too, but I'm afraid he may have gotten the wrong idea.
He has a girlfriend of 1.5-2 years though, and once the internship was over, he started talking to me over Skype for at least 2 hours, pretty much every single day (continuous text convos)...It's been at least 3 months since the daily convos have been going on, and I think he's still with his gf, but he's confided that they're having problems. I talk to him as I would a good friend.
So I'm wondering, can you guys tell what his motives are? It doesn't feel like simple friendship because he's stopped talking to the other people he met over the internship, and he's kind of laid back/quiet, but it also doesn't feel like he wants a relationship because he hasn't made a move/suggested anything much. 
Would it be homewrecking to ask him about his feelings and what he's looking for? I'm worried because I don't want to invest unnecessary attachment/expectations or emotions into the friendship, nor do I want to meddle/cause problems in his relationship. 
Thanks so much for any input/opinions... (:

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It's not clear enough by what you posted, so I'll just say that you should just treat him as friend and don't ask him about his feelings toward you possibly being more than just wanting to be friends.

If you don't want to meddle, then don't give him any wrong ideas. If he doesn't like you that way, then you just made things very awkward for him. If he does like you that way, then he may think that you are interested in the same way and that probably will mean that he will end his other relationship to pursue a new one or he may even try to keep you on the side and that's just because you are curious about it. Either one is bad.

You can indirectly test him by asking about his girlfriend then you can lead him into a conversation about her and the way that he handles it should be able to show you more about what he is thinking with regard to her.

Then again, it's just a curiosity thing and you probably can let it go. Just be a good friend.

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Lie said: chloe_addict said: I'm not a guy but my guy friends have told me it generally means:
Cute - not just the "innocent/girl next door" physical appearance of the girl that is attractive but also her personality. She's sweet, sometimes clumsy (yet oblivious to her clumsiness at times) but inspires the guy to "protect" her.
Pretty - mostly the girl's elegant physical appearance. Can be a compliment from a stranger since it doesn't require knowing the girl's personality. But if from a guy of interest/bf, it is said in awe as it inspires him to be more of a gentleman ie open the door for you. 
Hot - Guys want to bang her. 

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Guest yukixoxo

Hi, so I was talking to this guy and he asked if anyone liked me and i asked him why and he replied. Oh, nothing, just wanted to know if anyone also liked you. Wonder if I'm reading this much into this?
:-/

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