Ask The Fellas

[Guest <3StrawberryPocky<3]

@emu: Oh wow, thank you so much for the response! I'm so happy that you answered because I found it really helpful! If you wouldn't mind, could I get the experience of your girl and guy friends?

[Guest SoulAce2]

DELETE.

[EDIT on 08/15]

I was right after all.  He eventually was honest about his true intentions.  We both got a good laugh out of it, and now I'm happy to say that he and I are friends. 

[Guest showoff]

That experience in middle school probably left a bad taste in his mouth (among many other similar experiences I would imagine).  It's not uncommon for a little 8th grader to be a COMPLETELY different person once they hit puberty and mature mentally.

If he's truly as smooth and a player as he's described, I doubt that he has some nefarious scheme to date-and-dump you as some sort of 8th grade revenge; you probably aren't that important in his life to devote that type of time to.

Why are you dwelling on something that happened over a decade ago?  Let that go.  If you broach the topic with him, he'll probably think you're a creeper.  I doubt you'll "hurt" him again if he's truly is a Casanova as advertised.

[Guest SoulAce2]

^ I'm completely aware of what you're saying; therefore, I had merely mentioned it as a possibility and not as a fact. But with your helpful response, I'm relieved to know that that possibility is most likely slim.  Besides, even if he had issues, that shouldn't be my problem, right? Right.  Ignore, I shall do...

[EDIT]

Afterthought:
I'm mistakenly marked as the "ice queen" when I seemingly appear to not care, and show lack of attention.  However, I never thought trying to be openly thoughtful and sensitive to others would be misconstrued as being, of all things, a "creeper"...  ) .  I don't care much for what others think or say of me, but I certainly find this new knowledge quite enlightening, yet amusing.  If being considerate and/or cautious of my actions in order to avoid/mitigate hurting others makes me a creeper, , then so be it.

However, what @showoff had implied (or at least what I think he implied) is also right.  The measly possibility of my concern being real is not worth my effort to apologize, especially when it would most likely make little difference and be underappreciated.  If it benefits no one, why do it? So, again, there I have it...my answer...

[Guest rugratz]

What do you guys think of this? I'm in a long distance relationship with my bf. I'm taking summer classes and he lives an hour away and he doesn't seem to want to visit/have me visit very often. We're in a new relationship, so maybe it's the fear of seeming clingy, but he wants to see me maybe once every week or two.  I want to see him more often...but now I'm doubting my relationship with him because I also always text him first and initiate conversations and although when we are physically together things are very nice, it's the time in between that makes me doubtful.....

[MrPower]

AiriinxKumori

said: Guys, if you are in serious relationship. Would you still look up old crushes from way back in high school?

nope. Never did that.

coral2010

said: My boyfriend of 1.5 years and I were recently having this deep conversation about our relationship and where it was at. I thought this was cheesy and kind of awkward to ask, but I said "Do you like, or love me?" Because from our conversation, I was sensing he was starting to have some doubts about our relationship. He replied, "Well I love being with you, but idk what love is."

I was wondering how other guys would interpret this??

He doesn't love you.
Don't take that in a bad way. Perhaps he really hasn't set his definition of something yet. Once he discovers it, he'll say it if he means it. Don't pressure the guy PLEASE. We hate that richard simmons.

jenn111

said:

Guys, how would you feel if your ex contact you after a year?

My ex and I broke up because of distance and we've not contacted each other for a year. Before we broke up, he said that it's really sad because he really liked me but he has to give up, he can't stand a LDR.

 

nyeh... i wouldn't look too much into it. It's rare for people to change much in the span of a single year.

oooroosay

said: My boyfriend cant stop talking about girls. Does he not respect me? Should i kick his genitals off? 

Kick his genitals off.
Unless his name starts with a J.

Hearted

said: I was flirting with a guy, it was almost my birthday and he asked if he could take me out and buy me a cake since I never had one before. I jokingly replied yes. Beforehand, he asked if I was into a jock or artistic guy, I said I'd like both. He's more of a musician. I asked him, why? You Because you like me

! He said maybe I do. Never did he give me a proper reply. Since I got back together with my boyfriend, we both lost contact. I told him wasnt into my ex before and we never did end up going out fot my bday. The plot twist... LOL this was years ago, I'm just wondering did he ever like me? Why did he not talk to me afterwards? Why could he not be honest with his feelings and given me a yes or no. Just somethings I'm thinnking of at bedtime :3!

You never had a cake on your birthday before? ...
Forget the guy. Nothing else matters. Get a cake. Red velvet is always a good choice. Ice cream cakes as well.
You need to make up for lost time.
Why don't you wonder whether you like cake instead of that boy? Why are you still reading this?
Go get some damn delicious desert cake.

rugratz

said: What do you guys think of this? I'm in a long distance relationship with my bf. I'm taking summer classes and he lives an hour away and he doesn't seem to want to visit/have me visit very often. We're in a new relationship, so maybe it's the fear of seeming clingy, but he wants to see me maybe once every week or two.  I want to see him more often...but now I'm doubting my relationship with him because I also always text him first and initiate conversations and although when we are physically together things are very nice, it's the time in between that makes me doubtful.....

That's an LDR? I didn't know one hour counted...

At the risk of making you delusional, I'll try to put myself in his shoes. 
Maybe he's trying to give time for you to think about him?
For me, I like having some time away so you experience different things that you can talk about while you're together. It also helps with the fact it slows the process of taking each other for granted. Separation always brought out a sense of longing to see my s/o. Maybe he's trying to do the same.

[ssarahleee]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 and a half months. He told me he liked me first, and asked me out, even when he thought that I didn't think of him a guy before. [he is 1 and a half years younger than me]
My boyfriends parents don't like me because I come from a christian background, even thought they have not meet me before, and keep telling him too break up with me. [their family is Buddhist... not that it makes any difference]
He was texting me how his got into trouble again cause he was meeting me. Then he went to say he doubts if he was ready to have a girlfriend because of he is so dependent on his parents, and he is immature. I asked him if he thought we should stop meeting, but there was no response for a bit so I told him "Let's think about it for a bit, and talk in person in a week or so." 
So to where I need advice:It's driving me crazy! I don't know what I was thinking when I said 1 week! It's so long! I should probably not text him... or should I? Does he need his space to think... or would he think that I don't care? I do care about him very much... but I don't want to "force" him to be in a relationship with me if he will be unhappy. Yes, I know I can't force him.... but ideally I would want my boyfriend to be in a relationship with no doubts, or little doubts...
This is secondary but about his parents what do I do? Should I offer to meet them and convince them I'm not a horrible person.... should I wait for him to sugest that? 

[Guest jammer25]

ssarahleee said: So to where I need advice:It's driving me crazy! I don't know what I was thinking when I said 1 week! It's so long! I should probably not text him... or should I? Does he need his space to think... or would he think that I don't care? I do care about him very much... but I don't want to "force" him to be in a relationship with me if he will be unhappy. Yes, I know I can't force him.... but ideally I would want my boyfriend to be in a relationship with no doubts, or little doubts...
This is secondary but about his parents what do I do? Should I offer to meet them and convince them I'm not a horrible person.... should I wait for him to sugest that? 

[Guest akp124]

ajlee613 said: you put texting him in front of COD? true love...
on a serious note, if you fall for someone, give it your all. if u dont jump with all your strength you'll tumble and die. dont let fear ruin your life. at the age of 22 you are an adult. and he is too. simply ask him if he cares about you

[aaallleee]

[Guest Kyosukemox]

I read a few of the posts in this thread and to be honest, a lot of you girls are making things more complicated than they are.. Men are pretty simple, unless they are drama queens... lol. Honestly the best thing is to talk it out and be more assertive and confident in yourself! Don't be afraid, that is probably the first step. Good luck to you all

[Guest rugratz]

Hello posting again haha..Well, I'm in my first real relationship and in the past when I've been on dates, the guy would usually pay for me.  But because I was his friend first, I feel weird about him paying so we always take turns.  However, our tastes are so different. He's into high class restaurants and brand name clothing while I'm happy with fast food and staying in and watching movies.  We're also both in undergrad so our sources of income come directly from our parents and while I respect that he's fortunate that his family can afford the things he enjoys...my family cannot.  And I don't feel right about spending my parents money that they give me for bills/rent/gas on things I find kind of silly like a $75 shrimp entree..... I tell my boyfriend that I can't afford stuff like this, but then he seems kind of disappointed and bored because he's the type who has to be doing things to have fun and can't relax and just chill and talk.  So...I don't know if I should just start saving up or try to get a job to do things he likes or not...but I'm still uncomfortable with spending so much money on things that I feel like I could get the same for much much less....

[Guest showoff]

This guy sounds immature.  I understand you're both undergrads, so I guess he's supposed to be immature, but if he isn't sensitive to the fact you do not have the same income as he does, even after you've directly told him that you can't afford expensive stuff all the time, you may want to reconsider your relationship.  If material things are that important to him right now in his life, maybe it isn't the right time for you to be together.  Hopefully that is something he'll grow out of, but he sounds spoiled, and that's something that usually sticks around forever...

[Guest rugratz]

showoff said: This guy sounds immature.  I understand you're both undergrads, so I guess he's supposed to be immature, but if he isn't sensitive to the fact you do not have the same income as he does, even after you've directly told him that you can't afford expensive stuff all the time, you may want to reconsider your relationship.  If material things are that important to him right now in his life, maybe it isn't the right time for you to be together.  Hopefully that is something he'll grow out of, but he sounds spoiled, and that's something that usually sticks around forever...

[Guest yunath]

Okay, so my boyfriend was flirting with several girls via text most of the time we were together. We broke up and got back together after he pleaded and begged for my forgiveness and promised never to do it again and has been trying to gain back my trust by spending all his time with me and doing things like always telling me where he is going and who he is going with (noooo I'm not being an overprotective overbearing girlfriend. Never asked for this, he just does this).

Recently though I was looking through his phone one night cuz he asked me a question earlier that got me suspicious that he was taking pictures of me while I was sleeping or might have recorded something when we were doing *ahem* things. So I was looking through his pictures when he wasn't there and saw that he had a iphone screenshot of one of the texts with one of the girls he was flirting with. They were flirting and talking about how sexy each other was and stuff. And I think the next few pictures were pictures of this girl he was flirting with (but nothing sexual, classroom backdrop. Some just of her and some with her and the other classmates). Ive seen the text before, that's how I found out in the first place, but I never knew he had a screenshot picture of it. And a immense feeling of disgust just came over me seeing that.

These pictures were taken before we broke up, but it's like....why would a guy still keep pictures of these if it doesn't matter to him like he said? Is this a big red flag? Should I just demand a break and tell him if he can't prove to me that he talked to this girls and made it clear that he had a girlfriend or to let me talk with them (which he told me he did but never showed proof that he did), then we can't be together?  I don't want to tell him I saw these photos, because then I'd have to admit to snooping through his phone and he's going to get defensive and use that against me if I confront him about these photos.

[Guest svi3tdragns]

I've always wondered about the snooping around activity. It sounds wrong to do, but when you find something, it's like.. "I KNEW IT" but when you don't find anything, you feel like a bag of poo. Anyhow, any way to check when the screenshot was taken? If it was taken after the rekindling of your relationship, then have the serious talk with him. And if you can't find the date or if it was after your getting back together then have the serious talk with him.

[Guest Kyosukemox]

@yunath: Snooping around shows that you have trust issues, but I guess it's understandable since he's been unfaithful in the past. The fact that he has not deleted the pics can be for two reasons: 1. Negligence 2. He is keeping them for whatever reason (while in a relationship this is a no-no). I, for one, still had pictures of my ex while with another girl and when I was confronted about I deleted them on the spot with no hesitation. Why? Because I just simply forgot about the pics and/or was too lazy to go out of my way to delete them. Mind you, I only deleted the intimate photos of me and my ex; if the girl I'm currently with has a problem with other pictures that are of my ex and family then I would begin to think that she is being very possessive.. lol

[Guest jenniferchung]

Is it normal for boyfriend to check out ex's facebook on a daily basis?Are guys very cautious with their possessions, phone, computer, and other devices?

[Guest yunath]

svi3tdragns said: I've always wondered about the snooping around activity. It sounds wrong to do, but when you find something, it's like.. "I KNEW IT" but when you don't find anything, you feel like a bag of poo. Anyhow, any way to check when the screenshot was taken? If it was taken after the rekindling of your relationship, then have the serious talk with him. And if you can't find the date or if it was after your getting back together then have the serious talk with him.

[Guest Tofu_Cloud]

MEN!

 

Pink VS red. In Clothing, in lip color. Which one do you prefer?

Also do man actually like red nail polish? Or is it something girls just seem to wear to impress other girls?