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Some laughter for the day

shiashia Posts: 339Member
Something to laugh at :)

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.




Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?




Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.




Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.




Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?




Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.




Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?




Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Ministry.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take This
Train to Vancouver.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.




Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
The game went into extra time.




Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.




A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, Order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have A scotch and soda."




An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.




Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.




1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.




Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.




Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.




Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, Shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and
20 in science."




:)
<3~
Octopus__`123angelzstarkiyundy.MythnoonAknutsSaseumiparadicez
·

Replies

  • efaye926efaye926 Posts: 165Member

    Girl : Do you love me?
    Boy : Yes Dear.
    Girl : Would you die for me?
    Boy : No, mine is undying love.


    LOL!!  hehehe..
    ♥  谢谢你的爱,让我变得更勇敢
    ♥   411  ♥   FB   ♥  Formspring
    Xianie
    ·
  • jenifurs-xjenifurs-x Posts: 310Member

    ROOKIE

    Man : How old is your father?
    Boy : As old as me.
    Man : How can that be?
    Boy : He became a father only when I was born.


    Hahah, I am going to use this on my friends!
    don't deny our r2Ï€
    ubiquitous international idol super star | logic egoism delete apple
    ·
  • Seany101Seany101 Posts: 17Member
    1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
    2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
    1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.


    Funny, like a Naked Gun line :-)
    ·
  • KeHAEaKeHAEa Kris! <\3 USAPosts: 1,210Friend of Soompi

    IDOL

    Haha nice. Undying love... XD
    image
    X: ~ <3 ~ :D FourOneOne~! :D ~ <3 ~ X:
    ·
  • hasundaehasundae Posts: 49Member
    hahaha...i'll use some of these one day...
    ·
  • kiyundy.kiyundy. Shinhwa Changjo CaliforniaPosts: 8,677Friend of Soompi

    IDOL

    I love these! They're awesome!

    I really like the Father and Son one! Its hilarious yet true! Hes the first son!! haha
    avi:Yoyo siggie: kiyundy | March 24, 1998 -- present
    detectiveconannarutoonepiecemajor1N2Ddaehanmingukmanse
    image
    supporting:100%wondergirlsteentopsecretsonghyegyoinfinite
    ·
  • bubblepeachbubblepeach Posts: 7,303Friend of Soompi

    IDOL

    Ahahahah very amusing :D

    ·
  • princessberryprincessberry Posts: 218Member, New Member
    haha alright, at least it made my day for a while! :D
    I find and share inspiration with everyone! Where?  Here :D
    ·
  • Curious...Curious... Posts: 6Member, New Member
    Hahaha, these are actually pretty funny :')
    ·
  • houseoftalentsydneyhouseoftalentsydney Posts: 4New Member
    Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
    Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

    this is funny..

    i didn't read that next ones. :)
    ·
  • bbywintabbywinta ?the social riot machines down the rabbit holePosts: 553Member
    1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
    2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
    1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.

    I spent 5 minutes laughing at this
    image
    dream catch me when I fall
    ·
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