shia Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Something to laugh at Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste? Customer : No, I can't. Waiter : Then does it really matter? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Ministry. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take This Train to Vancouver. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and The game went into extra time. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a Commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, Order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have A scotch and soda." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. 'How long has what been going on?' said the man. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Girl : Do you love me? Boy : Yes Dear. Girl : Would you die for me? Boy : No, mine is undying love. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, Shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest efaye926 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Girl : Do you love me? Boy : Yes Dear. Girl : Would you die for me? Boy : No, mine is undying love. LOL!! hehehe.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jenifurs-x Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born. Hahah, I am going to use this on my friends! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Seany101 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions. Funny, like a Naked Gun line :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeHAEa Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Haha nice. Undying love... XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hasundae Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 hahaha...i'll use some of these one day... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teatoast Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I love these! They're awesome! I really like the Father and Son one! Its hilarious yet true! Hes the first son!! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bubblepeach Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Ahahahah very amusing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest princessberry Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 haha alright, at least it made my day for a while! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curious... Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Hahaha, these are actually pretty funny :') Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest houseoftalentsydney Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone. this is funny.. i didn't read that next ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbywinta Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions. I spent 5 minutes laughing at this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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