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Boyfriend has been ignoring me for almost a week now...

chocolateturtlechocolateturtle californiaPosts: 513Member


Need opinions please :(
I really need advice at what to do...My bf and I have been dating for about 3 years now and we're long distance. He's been ignoring me because we got into an argument about knowing each other's activities... I find it really unfair how he always asks me what I am doing and who I am hanging out with whereas he gets angry when I ask him the same.

I wanted our relationship to be fair and not just have one's way but he got upset about that and hung up. The argument wasn't even that serious but he's been avoiding my calls and deleting my emails for the first two days that I have been trying to reach him since the argument. After that, I stopped contacting him and this is the longest we've gone without talking to each other.

I noticed he has been active online...asking forums about expensive computer parts. He has already spent $300 and says he has leftover money to buy a keyboard for about $60-70. Why am I mentioning this? Another problem I found was he's been lying to me too saying he's putting all his money to his credit card to pay it off...And I've been constantly asking him to pay me back $120 that I loaned him last year.

I honestly don't know what to do...he's been lying and avoiding me, I thought he would save money to see me or pay me back...He didn't even get anything for my birthday...Please help :(


  • LostDuckLostDuck San Diego, CaliforniaPosts: 47Member
    So let me prepare cliffnotes really fast...
    1) Argument about knowing one's whereabouts
    2) Ignores calls and deletes e-mails
    3) Asks online for expensive computer parts and spends money on it
    4) Doesn't pay you back $120
    5) Didn't get anything for your birthday

    To be honest, although it may sound harsh, I think your boyfriend needs to get his priorities straight. He's showing a lot of immaturity (although I don't know the whole story so I can only see your side) and doesn't respect you or care enough. Why do I say that? He's ignoring for a week now without trying to remedy the problem (immaturity). He doesn't pay you back money that you loaned him over a year ago (lack of respect). He didn't get anything for your birthday which comes only once a year (lack of care). You may have been dating him for three years, but I think he's taking you for granted now. You should either try and talk it out and try and make it work (keep trying and maybe you'll eventually get through), or just leave him now (hard, but honestly, I think you can find a better guy if your current boyfriend is acting like this). I know this may not have been the advice you were looking for, but I think you should try and reconsider why you're dating such a person if he makes you unhappy.
  • PhotogeekPhotogeek Love Song ♥ PDX, OR, USAPosts: 2,567Member


    Like the LostDuck said he needs to get his priorities straight. Obviously he isn't giving you the top priority, which can mean that maybe he needs some time. I'm not saying that he has stopped liking you or any of the sort, but if he's ignoring you then I suggest you give him the time he needs. Now I would be pissed if I leant my boyfriend some money and he didn't pay it back after a while, and instead he's buying stupid things.

    Honestly I think you should find someone better than him, someone who is more mature.

  • mechant-lapinmechant-lapin dystopiaPosts: 875Banned


    just call him for sex and everything will be solved
    "The path of light is trailed with havoc and lies"
    -femme en chaleur avec un gros trou du cul

    after many requests, here comes my formspring!
  • lady_muimuilady_muimui Hachioji, TokyoPosts: 747Member
    Agree with LostDuck.
    Honestly, I've only been going out with my bf for 2 months, and he started ignoring me out of nowhere. No argument, no nothing. Tells me he's busy. Two weeks ago, I noticed that he's no longer on facebook, or so I thought. Found out that he really just blocked me. As lostduck puts it, one word: immature.

    I think it's time to move on to the next person. If he's ignoring you, he's obviously not putting in the effort to resolve the problem between you two.
  • HazyHazy ... WAIT, WHAT? Sydney, AustraliaPosts: 8,201Friend of Soompi
    You're definitely not his first priority. Heck, does he even care about you?
    I bet he's even forgotten about you already... (as harsh as it may sound)
    He shouldn't be lying to you and avoiding you.
    If he does, then he's definitely hiding things from you.

    It'd probably be better for you to keep contacting him and if he continues ignoring you, take it up with any mutual friends.
    Your bf seems really immature (as everyone has already said), so after you get your $$ back from him - maybe tell him to grow up and Richard Simmons off.
    Three years is LONG so don't waste anymore time with him.
    Please read the signature rules
  • terroristterrorist NYCPosts: 1,243Member


    if he calls back.. ignore him for a week.
  • natsureinatsurei :D Blair and Chuck Please. MelanielandPosts: 1,191Member
    This sounds like boyfriend :c
    We have this argument every week, he says he'll be better though.

    I dunno, just take a break until he gets his priorities straight. If not, then I dunno if he's willing to be with you.
    Tumblr: In The Ciel
  • brinybluebrinyblue run with me Posts: 1,000Member
    When a guy starts being unreasonable, its clear you're not his first priority anymore. Give him some time to get his stuff together, but if it doesn't work out, it might be time to move on. :/

    take care. ^^
    brinyblue / 411 / 
  • d0ubled0uble Posts: 26Member

    Wow, I've had a similar experience once. From my experience though, we broke up.

    You may have been with him for 3 years and it's hard to get out of a relationship, especially when its been so long, but considering what the other members have told you and also you probably know this inside as well, or you would've probably not posted on a forum asking for advice is..

    is he really worth all this ache & pain?

    he realizes how good you've been to him and is taking advantage of you. the day a guy disrespects a girl like that, is not considered a man. no birthday present, no money returned, and ignoring your call for the most stupidest reason ever.

    until he's a man, who can take full responsibilities of his actions, he isn't even worth this topic post.
    carpe diem
  • JAEBOMBJAEBOMB Posts: 21Member
    if youve taken psychology, you might have learned that for a relationship to work, there has to be equity.
    things have to be fair and balance or things will get messy and one person will become unhappy. and when one person gets unhappy so does the other.

    you helped him out and so he should return the favor ALONG with paying you back. if his priority isnt the same as when both of you guys were happy, then the imbalance probably already took place.

    im sure you got him a birthday present, and for him to not get you anything is really a JERK move especially if you guys have been going out for three years!

    if he's getting mad when you ask him what he's been doing and ignores you along with all the other things you mentioned.. i would get suspicious that he might be up to something.. because people tend to get angry when they feel guilt stabbing their conscience.
    im not saying he's cheating or anything but i would think something is fishy if he doesnt want you to know what hes up to..

    i feel a little bit of imbalance in my relationship.. i know i shouldnt be materialistic. and i try not to be but ive spent 400 dollars buy my bf a ps3 and games for his bday. and im waiting to see how much he spends on me. because in the past for example christmas. i spent TWICE as much on him as he did on me.. and ill be honest.. it doesnt feel to great.. :/
  • SilkInfusedSilkInfused 君だけが守れるものをみつけだしたら up in the airPosts: 1,353Friend of Soompi
    If he gets unreasonably angry at the same questions he's asked you then chances are he's raising his own suspicions on activities he doesn't want to be found out about.

    Lies are insidious; if you find him lying about one thing, you'll find he's lying about another.

    Take a breather. A week or two isn't so bad to reflect on your relationship standards, especially since he doesn't seem to be financially responsible. Nothing sours a relationship quicker than unpaid money issues.
  • sussus AussiE lANdPosts: 3,213Member
    hes over u..
    he doesnt care bout u...
    better end it
  • nancxynancxy Posts: 947Friend of Soompi


    Why does he get mad if you wanna know what he's doing? Seems fishy to me.
    From what I'm reading, seems like you care a lot more than he does.
    And also, how do you know he deleted your emails? Do you go on it? o_o Kinda freaky.
    I say you should leave him, he sounds like a really bad, immature bf.
  • killjadeskyekilljadeskye Out of Luck MalaysiaPosts: 718Member
    he probably does love you, but you're not his priority. and clearly he doesn't love as much as you do.
    I say leave him. 3 years is a very long time to get to know somebody. He obviously won't change.
    Life is a one man's show.
  • AngelAngelAngelAngel Posts: 610Member
    Dump him, and demand your money back. That is just low, not paying someone back?! That just means he's unreliable and if he's spending so much money on things then he's just going to be poor later. And he didn't give you a gift?!?! WHAT?!?! That is unacceptable.

    My sanctuary:
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