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Are you allowed to decide/pick what college you want to go to?

jayneefahxDjayneefahxD massachusettsPosts: 1,443Member
edited March 2010 in school zone
I'm not really sure where this thread would fall under, so I decided to make it here. So for those who already received their acceptance letters, are your parents/older siblings allowing you to decide what college you want to go to? Like making your own decisions?

I've recently been accepted to VCU Arts, which is a well-respected art school and it's #4 for graphic design. VCU Arts is my first choice, and I was so happy that I got accepted; I really want to attend this school; it's in a city with a diverse environment, and there's so many opportunities. However, it just seems like my family is controlling and making decisions FOR me without my input. They're telling me what to do this and that, x and y. Every city has its bad areas, and you just have to be careful. I understand that they want to steer me into the right direction without having any regrets, but I honestly think that I won't have any regrets. I don't think they realize that they're basically controlling & making decisions for me; I have the rights to choose what college I want to go to, because I will be going there for the next four years. I also applied to RISD, and I still haven't heard from them yet. But I'm not sure if I will get accepted, because it's so hard to get in. So my family is dying to hear from RISD. -___- I know that I should wait for the few other colleges that are left and discuss with my family, but I feel like they're not going to listen to my opinions. I really want to go to VCU Arts. I really love my family and I'm thankful for their advice, but I wish they could just let me be included in the "discussion" with my input. Sigh.


  • SUMM3RxBABiiSUMM3RxBABii NYPosts: 3,260Member
    My parents are willing to let me go to an expensive school, as long as it is good for my major and if I'm willing to put my 99.9% in it and work hard.

    I first got accepted to City College of Tech, a public CUNY school which is only like 4k a year before finan. aid and last week, i got accepted to St.John's, which is a private and costs 32k a year, and pretty good for my major. Well 4k versus 32k, of course my parents want me to go to tech but i'm not interested. i don't know. most of the college i've applied to are all privates mostly. "Whatever is best".
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  • MannosukeMannosuke Posts: 12,760Member


    Sounds like they're just worried about your safety more than anything else.
  • prechuz_aznprechuz_azn Posts: 3,043Member


    I am absolutely allowed to go to whatever college I want.
    My mother supports me in whatever career I want to make of myself.
    She actually supports my decision to be a teacher. However, my Dad is like, "Ah... No"
    He wants me to be a pharmacist, stockbroker, lawyer, nurse thing
    and I'm just like, "Ah... No" He also wants me to go to fancy schools
    because he believes they are good. When all I see is their good for
    pocketing my near empty wallet.
    credits to serenityx3 
  • KateKate Philadelphia, PA, USAPosts: 682Member


    I'm headed to my first choice school with my family's full support.

  • qkrcjdflaqkrcjdfla 26976837 CaliforniaPosts: 1,430Member
    It's probably easier for my parents to let me go where I want because my top choices are UCLA and Berkeley (both in-state; LA is only an hour away AND my sister goes there now). I went through a phase earlier this year where I was in love with UW and wanted to go there, and my mom spent every day trying to convince me that I would hate Seattle. But I feel like in the end, if that was where I wanted to go, she would have let me.
  • kfreakkfreak concrete jungle where dreams are made ofPosts: 6,637Member


    edited March 2010
    Just tell your family this: I can go whatever college you're choosing for me, but as a family, do you really think it's going to make me happy? for the rest of my life?

    ^ yea, bit cheesy xD
  • october-rainoctober-rain Posts: 466Member


    I'm jealous of you guys
    I am not even allowed to go outside of the COUNTY for college
    They decided what college I'm attending without my opinion
    It's always UCI for the Asian parents ):
    I know they're just worried
    I sound really bitter LOL but I really want to go to USC!
    max font size is 3
  • LunaUlnaLunaUlna Posts: 161Member
    Well, parents are just like that-especially Asian parents.

    My parents didn't even want me to go to faraway schools in California (not allowed to go out of state due to monetary reasons). However, the school that I'm going to is one that I wanted to go to anyway and one that isn't too far from home, so they approve.

    When I got rejected from a school that was a few hours farther away from home, they even said that it was better because that way I could attend a school closer to home. -___-;;
  • iyagiiyagi 임진영♣ Posts: 1,505Member


    Congrats on getting accepted!

    My parents are pretty lenient about my college choices. They don't forbid me to be interested in the schools I want to go to, but they do warn me that we can't afford for my education out of state. So as long as my options are in-state, they couldn't care less. Since I told them I wanted to go to NCSU, they haven't been bothering me about that stuff. Though in a way, I kind of wish they would, especially since all my sisters are gone (one moved out and has a job, one is in California in grad school, and one is in HK studying international business) so it's almost like being an only child, and I'm so anxious about school and if I'm making the right choices or not.

    My mother and father didn't go to college, so they can't really give me the advice I need. All they usually tell me is to do well in school, take hard classes, ask my sisters for help, and do something that will give me a steady job to make money. So they can't understand my frustration with school and stress over art. I understand how you feel, like your hands are tied behind your back and feeling like you don't have room to say anything.

    If I were you, I'd fight to go there, especially if it's what you really want, AND you got accepted.
  • Eun_neptune_HimEun_neptune_Him ★>>>><<<<★ Vancouver, CanadaPosts: 2,130Member


    my parents don't care about what i study or which university i decide to go. As long as it's for my education then they'll be there to support me
  • NynnaNynna USPosts: 960Member
    I'm still trying to get my parents to support me on my college decisions. I want to study design but my parents always said it doesn't pay good money. They were alright with me wanting to study Graphic Design but I've realized I want to study Fashion, which my parents really didn't like. My state has NO design schools at all and the best places are too far from home. I think if you show you're really dedicated with what you want they'll eventually support you. My mom is becoming more supportive because I've become better at making clothes and my dad is becoming more supportive because I'm working harder on getting into college.

  • ash-leeash-lee Posts: 173Member
    My dad wanted me to go to the school I wanted to, which was culinary school.
    I wanted to go badly, but I stopped myself actually. It was just too much.

    Instead, I'm resorting to a regular university for some other major. I'm not excited, but I won't cry about it. It's life.
  • andrew.natawirjaandrew.natawirja Posts: 14Member
    I live in indonesia (which is a backwater, underated nation).. My father and mother wants me to go abroad, I wanted to go abroad too..
    I got a scholarship in a university in korea, which is good. I told them I wanted to go to japan instead but because of monetary issues it can't be done. I asked about going to another uni in korea but they said to stick to my first plan and take the scholarship. The would let me take any major so it's fine.

    mabye for you guys who has a problem talking to your parents, aproach them slowly, they will understand.. good luck ^^
  • superjennysuperjenny BAYSIDE.Posts: 954Member
    Haha i consider myself pretty lucky then. I live in NY but my parents want me to leave NY.. preferably boston... but they're willing to let me go as far as i want to... but i have a lot of friends whose parents won't let them leave new york :/
    i think that sucks because you're so limited with options. i mean, there are a lot of great colleges in ny, but there are even better ones outside of ny image
  • HearMeGoRAWRHearMeGoRAWR Somewhere over the rainbowPosts: 333Member
    edited May 2010
    My parents won't let me go out of state and my state has TERRIBLE colleges for the major I want to major in, actually half of them don't have it and I just found out that 2 more colleges froze that major indefinitely so that leaves only 3 colleges in the state that offers it (and they're all the BIGGEST party schools in the state). I really want to go to some colleges in New England but my parents are trying to brainwash me to think I'll die from nervous breakdown when I go out-of-state but I know I won't. image

    I'm sure if I got into Penn State or an Ivy League college, they'll still make me stay in Florida anyways.
  • 432521432521 DBSK <3 HoustonPosts: 994Member
    As long as I go it is all good

  • beckybecky Posts: 748Member
    My parents let me go to whatever school I wanted, but I also think that what I wanted was very similar to what they wanted.
  • rawwwrrawwwr Posts: 372Member
    Nope, not really. I've gotten accepted to USC and Tulane, but they'd rather have me stay in Arizona. My dad even thinks the university here (about 30 mins away) is too far, hahaha.
  • QooChiQooQooChiQoo NetherlandsPosts: 261Member
    At first they wanted me to go into the same direction as my brother, Psychology, since he was doing really well and the school was close. But it bored me to death and the major now has numerus fixus on it, so double no. Now, after witnessing my cousin drop out of college because he didn't like the course his parents chose for him, they let me choose whatever the hell I want. As long as I earn lots of money later.
    And don't drop out of course.

  • wintery-dayswintery-days Posts: 1,265Member


    QUOTE (andrew.natawirja @ May 3 2010, 01:09 AM) »
    mabye for you guys who has a problem talking to your parents, aproach them slowly, they will understand.. good luck ^^

    I wish I could do that, but I can't, cuz I'm afraid what I'm going to say to my parents will make my parents especially my dad fall sick (this is true, & it's suffering for me) so I guess I just go with their plan, I know, it's sad.. but we can't afford what I want to do either, so it's a lost-lost situation for me *one litre of tears* image

    anyone in same situation like me? nice to have someone who understands me image
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