Should I text my ex about the money I loan him? How? [CLOSED]

Hello soompi,

Long story short, my ex broke up w/ me 2 yrs ago, I beg him for 18 m then stop. He txt me after 6 mo of NC saying he'll return money once he has a job. I didn't respond. in feb, he txt to apologize bc he dated me and ruined our friendship, not bc he misses me. He said just say ok, & he will give me a check when no one is home. I sent him my # for electronic transfer. I haven't heard from him or seen the $$$ since then.

I saw him today at Walmart. don't think he saw me, but he saw my parents and told them he's moving out of state his company sent him. We were in secret relationship, no1 knew.

So obviously, he has a job. Would it be weird if I text & ask about the money I loaned him?? I got so nervous when I saw him so I walked off. I think I still have feeling for this guy and I am afraid to initiate since I begged for so long after he dumped me.

Update (03/22/15):  I asked him.  Nothing solved.    

No it wouldn't be weird. He owes you money and doesn't seem to be doing much to try to rectify the situation as soon as possible.

When contacting him, it'd probably be best through email and not to make any personal comments. Keep it straight to the point. Ex. "Hi (ex's name), I heard from my parents that you're moving away for work. Since you have a job now, would you be able to send me the money you owe me? Here's my e-banking information: (Insert E-bank info). If there are any surcharges to deposit the funds, let me know and I may be willing to pay that cost. Thank you."

You may or may not agree with the surcharge stuff, but I know some people who are so concerned about $2-5 surcharges for e-banking or taking money out of an ATM that they'll wait until they find their bank machine or pay me back in cash.

You should not let him delay it any longer or else you'll never get the money back, so it's worth it to absorb the surcharge fee to get it ASAP, and besides, he can keep delaying sending out the cheque or say he did and it mysteriously gets "lost in the mail"

Good luck with that, your ex seems like a piece of work lol

I've had this issue before with my last ex, before we broke up  I asked for the the money which she owed me and she agreed shell return in but never got a reply back (I just gave up asking her since I don't want to lose my head over it and she keeps ignoring me XD)

Depending on your situation, I would say text him first. If he ignores your text or nothing happens, maybe get a mutual friend to ask for it (it might be weird for your mutual friend but hey, You gots to do what you gots to) or worst come to worst, you might have to talk to him face to face since he can't ignore you then but since you still have feelings for him and you get nervous just seeing him.. hm.. Maybe bring a friend to confront him about the money so you wont feel too nervous?

@naugtydog I already sent him the e-bank account last month, nothing!

Hmm... well. I hope you didn't lend him a lot of money then. Also since your relationship was a secret.. that makes it a bit harder to get someone to help you.. Hmm...

A phone call is the next best thing. Other than that, hes just gonna ignore you, which sucks :/. I mean if you begged him for 18 months (which im guessing didn't really affect him, im only assuming) I highly doubt he's going to even give the money you owe him.

Other than that, there are people who can reclaim back your items/money. Im not sure if you want to take it that far but its worth mentioning I guess?

Would you be opposed to this?

How much does he owe you?

Something we all need to learn when loaning money to family members/relatives/friends/lovers/etc... there's a 99% chance that you're not going to get the money back. The more you know them, the less of a chance of them making repayment a priorty.

Instead of waiting around for him to repay you, why don't you find a job in the meanwhile to earn back that money (if you don't already have one). Our lives will be much happier if we learn to just let go. You can't think with the mindset of 'oh I'll have $X much more if he repaid me on top of what I already earn', there will always be a gain/loss in everything; take that as a lesson and not make the same mistake in the future. I know, you worked hard for that $$, but money is just money, you can always earn it back. You need to give a little to gain much more. We can't always worry about the minor/temporary losses and let it stall our steps to a better future.

If someone had real intentions of repaying and keeping their promises, they'd would have already done so as soon as they got their first few paychecks. You said so yourself that you don't want to have any more affiliations with that guy, what if this is just a way that he uses you to keep you around. Now he doesn't have to reply back or anything, just you contacting him will make him feel that he has caught your attention. This is a psychological trap; if you truly want to move on, don't waste your time on this anymore, forget about the money altogether. If you need money, you need to find a job; once you have a full-time job

hopefully you'll come to realize that money you lost was nothing

compared to what you will be earning. 

He owns you money!! It's not weird at all!!! I ask for it I I were you. richard simmons better pay me my money back!!

I can't understand all the texting terms but it's your money, so it's fine to ask.