Guest ccco Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 hello all, so without any background into my dilemma, i'm just wondering how do let someone know they have been friendzoned without directly bring up the topic of "i'm not interested in committing ...", especially when topics of being romantically interested haven't even been brought up in the first place?any suggestions will be appreciated here's the background to my dilemma, if anyone would like to shed some insight into whatever this is... lol am looking for a wide range of opinions, if possible!====so basically, i met a guy through a mutual friend and we basically had a fun time chatting that night about really pointless stuffs. we exchanged numbers (mainly because a bunch of people did, so i added up with his number)he texted me like everyday for a week now, lol since that night, but i should point out he was always the one initiating (not me) and we don't text every minute, usually i take 1-3+ hours to reply. also, our conversations were as pointless as that night's, nothing serious and nothing personal. it's more like idle chat about school, being tired, eating etc etcmoreover, there's no flirting on my part, we tease one another but its mainly like him pointing out im such a pig, still eating after midnight etc etc and i retort back by saying he goes to bed early since he's getting old now etc etc (he's 2 years older than me, i'm still in university, and he graduated and has been working now)so we both love eating, particularly me, so he invited me for brunch to a place i said i never been, and i said sure, but i did make sure i had to leave after as i got other plans. so that day, we had brunch and while waiting for our table, we walked around window shopping since he said he wanted to look at a pair of shoes and so i complied. everything was normal, there wasn't that flirtatious atmosphere or anything. after eating and when the bill came, i tried to pay but he just brushed me off. i was adamant about paying for myself since i didn't think of this as a date or anything but he just shoved my hands away, saying it's fine. i did comment that he has no reason to pay for me, but i didn't want to make a fuss so i agreed, and commented that next time i'll treat then. and before i left, he gave me a box of cookies that i really wanted, he said he got it since he ordered them for him and his co-worker, he thought he would give me one as well. i was really thankful and left lol, i did offer to pay him back, but again, he said no it's fine.but my friend (not our mutual friend) has made it a point that he may have feelings for me...since he has offered me a ride to work (jokingly), got me the cookies, paid for me, and when i got sick, he even offered if i needed anything (since he could get it for me, as he lived near me)but the thing is, the topic of being romantically interested never occurred at all. we never discussed our personal lives, except of me being really spoiled by my parents etc etc, that's as personal as it got. i wasn't acting girly or anything, i even spilled that i'm terribly spoiled and etc etc, basically we never talked about other guys or other girls, our conversations were always really simple with us joking around. and again, i don't believe i led him on either, since i never replied him asap and there really wasn't anything flirting going on, if anything it was mostly making jokes at his expense lol but my friend got me a bit self conscious now, so i'm not sure if i'm thinking too much or not. there's going to be an outing for our mutual friend, a picnic, soon which he's in charge of planning, and i asked if our mutual friend is going, since i'm mainly going for her (since she'll be leaving in the summer), and he replied saying so i'm not important? << not sure if i'm paranoid, but this something worried me...am i thinking too much? how do i let him know i'm just interested as a friend...without directly saying things like oh, i'm not interested etc etc since we never even talked about things like this, i don't want to act based on assumption that he's interested in me, when he might not be...we only texted back and forth like almost 2 weeks, and went out for brunch once, and nothing more. i thought he was just a really friendly person, and i don't usually ignore people's texts, since i don't like it when people don't reply me..lol so i always reply if he messaged me. but that's just being polite guy or girl, not me being flirtatious right?====thank you in advance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riti89 Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Next time you do something nice for him and he says "thanks", respond with "that's what friends are for" and smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiDnite89 Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Next time you do something nice for him and he says "thanks", respond with "that's what friends are for" and smile And by nice, don't like, blow him or anything. Cause that might cause the confusion again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I_play_with_dolls Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Or just say "I'm not interested, sorry." To save your time and possibly theirs. Idk, I'm just straight forward when it comes to this sort of stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninshark Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 don't agree to everything he asks you to do, like go out and stuff. also don't answer all his texts, just some of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oryxncrake Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Keep telling him he reminds you of your brother/father/uncle. Push the incest thing, maybe he'll get grossed out and realize you don't see him as more than a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest writerstale Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Next time you do something nice for him and he says "thanks", respond with "that's what friends are for" and smile @Riti89 : Lmao. That sounds so mean and disrespectful but in a fake hinting kind of way. You even have that's what friends are for in quotations. Trying not to come off misogynistic but seeing this makes me think why feel sorry for some women when they go through some relationship issues when they post things like this. Side note you'd be a great lawyer or sales person. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riti89 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 writerstale said: Next time you do something nice for him and he says "thanks", respond with "that's what friends are for" and smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Takupi Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Talk to him about other guys and ask him for his opinion. LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest writerstale Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 riti89 said: writerstale said: Next time you do something nice for him and he says "thanks", respond with "that's what friends are for" and smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halfmoonsmile Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I was also straightforward to somebody that I had no interest in. He asked me out and I said "I'm sorry, I don't see you in that way." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crunchyrunchy Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Meany-chan said: I was also straightforward to somebody that I had no interest in. He asked me out and I said "I'm sorry, I don't see you in that way." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halfmoonsmile Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 oryxncrake said: Keep telling him he reminds you of your brother/father/uncle. Push the incest thing, maybe he'll get grossed out and realize you don't see him as more than a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest EnYingChen Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Talk about your type that is obviously not him. orask him for advice on the guy "you like (that is not him)" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayahuasca Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 you know, you could just talk to him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AmoreS2 Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 From the actions you've given him, I would say you haven't done anything to indicate to him that he's friendzoned. Guys take an extremely long time to realize that. And if they do, they often have a self-denial that can persist for months. So, I would say, if you have NO interest in him whatsoever, just act really disinterested/cold. Take longer to reply like days. Answer his texts in like 3 words. It's simple, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kumichiii Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 when you're having a conversation with him you could be like "you're one of the best friends" i have Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernie Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I almost thought your post was too long but I decided to read. You should tell him how you feel. Bleh?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Velstadt Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Reading some of the responses here makes me wonder if many Asian women have any empathy or human compassion. Why not just be straightforward and tell him politely you're not romantically interested in him? Why this passive-aggressive bull$hit mindgames?It makes you look back and it makes him feel like an idiot. Just make it easier for both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zantac_2 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 ^perhaps from experience, people prefer less straight forwardness. but why does it matter? in the end they are rejecting you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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