guys mistaken friendliness for being flirty?

I'm really friendly with people I first meet whether they guy or girl. Quite often I run into the problem of a guy getting the wrong impression that I like him when I'm just being friendly. I laugh at all their jokes, compliment them, and really show interest in them( by active listening), next thing I know they ask me out on a date. I just want to remain friends and don't want to go through the painful process of explaining to them that we're just friend and then ended up losing them as a friend because it got too awkward. Why can't girls have male friends?
Any girls here got the same problem?

Yeah, I got the same problem as you. I'm super friendly too, that I end up having sex with the girl. Next thing I know, she starts wanting to be my girlfriend. Like, can't we just be friends? 

MiDnite89 said: Yeah, I got the same problem as you. I'm super friendly too, that I end up having sex with the girl. Next thing I know, she starts wanting to be my girlfriend. Like, can't we just be friends? 

MiDnite89 said: Yeah, I got the same problem as you. I'm super friendly too, that I end up having sex with the girl. Next thing I know, she starts wanting to be my girlfriend. Like, can't we just be friends?

I am the opposite of you. I have a mean face or a bored face when I'm in public or with strangers. I only smile and actively talk to my friends or people I know well. It makes it easier to avoid people who think you're interested as in wanting to be more than friends or wanting to be friends in general. It makes me sound mean but I don't trust most people.

@kateneo: Suggesting to state your intentions right in the beginning so that way if they catch feelings and you don't then that's their own fault.


@Meany-chan: I can't "save" or "fix" how you behave but you should work on what causes you to not trust people, because being mean to people all the time can cause you to miss out on great business; or non-business opportunities one day down the road.

Active listening is an amazing skill. I wouldn't care if it is misleading at all, because it is an essential skill to have and use.

Story time. So back in my youth I was this little nerd. Did well in classes but mostly I was picked on.

So this girl is at my class and she's HELLA cute. I'm sprung. I introduce myself to her and we talk. She QUICKLY friend zones me. 

I'm blown but I'm like screw it, feel me? She bad and man if not today then maybe tomorrow. That is, til this WEAK richard simmons FOOL comes along.
One of the main dudes who was messing with me, and she decided to get with this herb. I was hurt bruh. Not gon front. Pride took a hit.
So all the while I'm thinking "maybe this is a phrase. She's gonna wake up and realize her dude is a sucker richard simmons fool." Nah
We get older and wouldn't you freakin believe it. Friend Zone mayor freakin MARRIES this dude. Has a kid and everything. Can't believe it
I'm shocked. Cuz I still like this chick and he's clearly a bamma but my hands are tied. But these ppls I knew didn't bang with him like that
I was like "screw it. The enemy of my enemy is my friend" so I started rolling with these fools. Til the leader stepped hella out of line.

Son tried to cap ol girl, her richard simmons husband AND the baby. Somehow the kid lived but richard simmons. He was on some other richard simmons.
Anyway after all that richard simmons happened I just said screw it and became the potions master at hogwarts. Always looked after that kid tho.

MiDnite89 said: Story time. So back in my youth I was this little nerd. Did well in classes but mostly I was picked on.


Anyway after all that richard simmons happened I just said screw it and became the potions master at hogwarts. Always looked after that kid tho.

MiDnite89 said: Story time. So back in my youth I was this little nerd. Did well in classes but mostly I was picked on.

So this girl is at my class and she's HELLA cute. I'm sprung. I introduce myself to her and we talk. She QUICKLY friend zones me. 

I'm blown but I'm like screw it, feel me? She bad and man if not today then maybe tomorrow. That is, til this WEAK richard simmons FOOL comes along.
One of the main dudes who was messing with me, and she decided to get with this herb. I was hurt bruh. Not gon front. Pride took a hit.
So all the while I'm thinking "maybe this is a phrase. She's gonna wake up and realize her dude is a sucker richard simmons fool." Nah
We get older and wouldn't you freakin believe it. Friend Zone mayor freakin MARRIES this dude. Has a kid and everything. Can't believe it
I'm shocked. Cuz I still like this chick and he's clearly a bamma but my hands are tied. But these ppls I knew didn't bang with him like that
I was like "screw it. The enemy of my enemy is my friend" so I started rolling with these fools. Til the leader stepped hella out of line.

Son tried to cap ol girl, her richard simmons husband AND the baby. Somehow the kid lived but richard simmons. He was on some other richard simmons.
Anyway after all that richard simmons happened I just said screw it and became the potions master at hogwarts. Always looked after that kid tho.

kateneo said:lol the way you express yourself is ....new and different to me.

odaesan said: kateneo said:lol the way you express yourself is ....new and different to me.

Looks like someone has a case of the good-lookings, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you OP. However, to say that every person who asks you out on a date is looking for love... Maybe they just wanna get to know you better? Maybe you're good at first impressions and spark curiosity among acquantances.

Girls as friends? They only work if the guy is not interested in the girl, but the girl keeps initiating, and then pounces on the male in his moment of weakness.

Then it's no longer a friendship...

Aw..aren't you just a sweetheart? ; I can definitely see why guys might be misled by your "friendliness" 'cause you're showing signs of interest as in romantically. I don't encounter such problems with the opposite sex 'cause I mostly only speak when spoken to anyway. 
As to your question of whether men and women can ever be friends? Haven't you watched When Harry Met Sally!? I think platonic friendships only can occur when two people have no romantic feelings for one another, and even then there's no guarantee 'cause well...people change.

Do you also unintentionally step into their personal space or touch them (eg. hug, touch arm etc)?
Have you ever tried bringing it up early on in the friendship and just say how you are often misunderstood because of blah blah?So this way you are explaining to them how your behaviour may be misunderstood and hopefully they take the hint.

Wrong signals all the damn time. If your joke is funny, I'll laugh. If your butt is perky, I'll tell you. What's the big deal?

Turn to page 394.

Story of my life. Okay here's the thing, friendzone them early on. Actually, no, BRO-ZONE them early on.

I literally say "yo" and "bro" at the end of some of the things I say so that my friendliness doesn't come off as being interested romantically.

60% of the time it works every time.

Make sure you knock off hopes really fast. Many guys get this deluded sense that any type of pleasantry is a sign of interest. In addition, make sure you don't lead them along. Many girls get a kick out of leading guys on they are not interested in because it gives them an emotional rush. Many selfish and inconsiderate girls out there too.

Kurisu said:

Story of my life. Okay here's the thing, friendzone them early on. Actually, no, BRO-ZONE them early on.

I literally say "yo" and "bro" at the end of some of the things I say so that my friendliness doesn't come off as being interested romantically.

60% of the time it works every time.

Damn. I ran into a problem recently. This girl I know for about a year, she was laughing at all my jokes no matter how bad they were and giving me a lot of eye contact, so on. Anyway it took me about a year to pluck up the courage to ask her out and it turns out she is dating someone. To make it worse she told me she probably wouldn't have been interested anyway, whatever that means. Totally gutted anyway. To make matters worse I still have to see this girl nearly every day. Its a work thing, totally awkard. Not sure what the point of this story is, just feel I have to tell someone I guess. :-(