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why don't Asian guys like me?


Guest orchidlover

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Guest orchidlover

Hello all, I am an extra petite Asian female in my mid 20s. I love Asian guys esp. ABC. However, None of them seem to like me. I was really into these two Korean guys, but they didn't like me. I ended up dating a white guy, but we broke up due cultural difference. I know quite a few Asian guys, but none of them are into me. I have been asked out by white, Hispanics and most black guys. I am not ABC myself, but I have been in the us for more than 10 years. I have some traditional thinking and also american thinking. I dress conservative, but not all covered up nor revealing. I am not materialistic either. If you know me, you would think I would never date non-asian. I just don't get why Asian guys are not into me. One time I thought BC I am short(5'0) and flat front and back, but I then why do other men like me?

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I am Chinese. My Spanish speaking friend has told me that non-Asian guys like Asian girls and Asian guys like white girls. I am pretty sure that this isn't an accurate depiction since most of my Asian friends have Asian boyfriends. Asian guys that I like don't like me back either. It's annoying since I have no romantic interest in non-Asian guys.

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Guest shooting_stars

I'm sure it's just the guys you've been meeting/the area you're in. Don't worry about it too much. Just keep being you, stay open to meeting new people, and you'll find a guy who will like you.

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a lot of asian guys are quite superficial. it could very well be your overall style and look thats working against you. for me, theres a certain kind of look im really only attracted to. ive passed on a few asian chicks in my life time simply because they werent attractive to me, but are attractive to other people. candidly though, my threshold for attraction (physical wise) is much wider with non-asian chicks.

for the non asian guys being attracted to you, that is because you carry an element of exoticness. its just the same thing with us being attracted to non-asian chicks. i have a few asian girl mates who i think are richard simmons hideous. however a lot of my non asian male friends think they are goddesses *shrugs.


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So, imo a lot of Asian guys are more superficial than Caucasians. Their asian girlfriends look above a average/pretty/hot and even well dressed.

The Asian girls that go out with Caucasians on the other hand, they look more down to earth, less intimidating, a few looks below average.

So I guess my post is similar to Zantac said, but his explanation is better, doesn't sound as conceited/rude as mine. Hahah

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Big issue may be weight. Asian guys tend to like their girls slim and by caucasian standards may be considered super thin. But you said you're petite so I doubt this is the reason.

It may be your style? Do you dress fashionably and have a good hairstyle?

It also may just be your area. The world is a big place. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

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It's just bad luck, that's all my input. My thinking is that if you have everything and you're still not finding anybody, it's just bad luck at that point. I hope you have good luck in the future. Since you're an attractive girl, I know you'll find who you want to be with eventually.

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Guest orchidlover

nyckira said: @Lie is absolutely right.But nothing is 100%, don't give up and just keep trying.  Asian guys are also more shy so if you're not close to them they might not approach you and ask you out.  @orchidlover I would suggest an online dating site like okcupid or plentyoffish.  Maybe you are just in such a tight social circle and need to meet more people.

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Guest cynidoll

If you live in an area populated by non-Asians, chances are the white people you date aren't familiar with what an average Asian girl looks like. They're usually the type to go out with the hella native looking Asians. And guess what? Since you live in the same place, you don't have an Asian community to step up your game/compete against.
Koreans especially are very competitive people, from their work ethic down to their looks. You may be playing at level 1 while these guys have been playing with other Koreans for so long that they're at level 10!
And trust me, Asian guys love Asian girls, except a large number of fobs. In Cali, the Asian guys are trying to win back the Asian girls who prop their legs wide open for white guys!

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cynidoll said: If you live in an area populated by non-Asians, chances are the white people you date aren't familiar with what an average Asian girl looks like. They're usually the type to go out with the hella native looking Asians. And guess what? Since you live in the same place, you don't have an Asian community to step up your game/compete against.
Koreans especially are very competitive people, from their work ethic down to their looks. You may be playing at level 1 while these guys have been playing with other Koreans for so long that they're at level 10!
And trust me, Asian guys love Asian girls, except a large number of fobs. In Cali, the Asian guys are trying to win back the Asian girls who prop their legs wide open for white guys!

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Hi,

From experience, one of these, or a combination of these might be the reason why.

1. Maybe you seem very uptight. I have met several "traditional" asian women who are very stand off'ish and think they are better than others. You may not be doing this deliberately but it could be.

2. You are not as attractive as you think.

3. The asian men are intimidated or dislike that you have been with Hispanic, black , Caucasian men.

4. The asian men you have met so far just didn't find you attractive for whatever reason.

5. Maybe there are asian men that like you but they aren't approaching you.

6. Maybe there are asian men that like you but you are just ignoring them. You may not be reading the signs.

Anyway, doesn't matter. As long as you don't look atrocious and you keep putting yourself out there, you will have a good chance to get an asian guy.

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Guest cynidoll

MiDnite89 said: cynidoll said: If you live in an area populated by non-Asians, chances are the white people you date aren't familiar with what an average Asian girl looks like. They're usually the type to go out with the hella native looking Asians. And guess what? Since you live in the same place, you don't have an Asian community to step up your game/compete against.
Koreans especially are very competitive people, from their work ethic down to their looks. You may be playing at level 1 while these guys have been playing with other Koreans for so long that they're at level 10!
And trust me, Asian guys love Asian girls, except a large number of fobs. In Cali, the Asian guys are trying to win back the Asian girls who prop their legs wide open for white guys!

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Guest orchidlover

Thanks everyone for the reply!  I have recently met an Asian guy from my friend.  We are talking, but not sure where it will take us.    egghead_1 said: Hi, From experience, one of these, or a combination of these might be the reason why. 1. Maybe you seem very uptight. I have met several "traditional" asian women who are very stand off'ish and think they are better than others. You may not be doing this deliberately but it could be. 2. You are not as attractive as you think. 3. The asian men are intimidated or dislike that you have been with Hispanic, black , Caucasian men. 4. The asian men you have met so far just didn't find you attractive for whatever reason. 5. Maybe there are asian men that like you but they aren't approaching you. 6. Maybe there are asian men that like you but you are just ignoring them. You may not be reading the signs. Anyway, doesn't matter. As long as you don't look atrocious and you keep putting yourself out there, you will have a good chance to get an asian guy.

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A lot of Asian guys don't like the 'strong' female.  It would sometimes mean they have to 'man-up' even more so they could fit the dominant role.  However, sometimes to have self-respecting power means a lot of inner work has to be done, and some Asian guys just done feel it is necessary to do that work when they can just go for a less experienced partner.  This might or might not be your case.

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In addition to what others have said... could it be the particular type of ABC guys you are picking?

Like there are lots of guys born in the US, speak fluent English etc but who are still quite traditional, prefer a more traditional girl etc and I'm sure they would love you (especially if you are as attractive as you say).

But if you're deliberately picking those ABC guys who are super outgoing, sporty, social etc, they might be looking for a girl with those qualities as well, to fit into their social group (I'm thinking sporty, tanned etc). They may find you "fob" compared to their friends, even though as you said you've been in the US for a long time. Also Korean guys tend to prefer Korean girls so that might be the issue with those 2 guys if you're not also Korean.

But like others have said most Asian guys prefer Asian girls so I'm sure you will find one you like!

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Guest orchidlover

tamaraleee said: In addition to what others have said... could it be the particular type of ABC guys you are picking?

Like there are lots of guys born in the US, speak fluent English etc but who are still quite traditional, prefer a more traditional girl etc and I'm sure they would love you (especially if you are as attractive as you say).

But if you're deliberately picking those ABC guys who are super outgoing, sporty, social etc, they might be looking for a girl with those qualities as well, to fit into their social group (I'm thinking sporty, tanned etc). They may find you "fob" compared to their friends, even though as you said you've been in the US for a long time. Also Korean guys tend to prefer Korean girls so that might be the issue with those 2 guys if you're not also Korean.

But like others have said most Asian guys prefer Asian girls so I'm sure you will find one you like!

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