Trust is broken.. Don't know what to do

I have talked to my sister and close friends about this situation that i'm in. I feel like it would be nice to get some opinion from people i don't know.
So i have been dating my bf for about two months now. We lived in different cities. We talked for about 3 month before we started dating. Recently, I did a traditional dance for the Lunar New Year, and i met some girls from the dance. My bf also came with me to rehearsal sometimes. He's a friendly guy, so he talks to them. One of the girls asked him for his snapchat id and they started snapchating. They became friends on fb and have been talking. I'm pretty sure my bf is the one that started the conversation... so then they exchanged numbers and they keep texting and snapchatting each other everyday from morning to night. I know this because he was still texting and snapchatting her when he's next to me, when he came visit me. She's also in a relationship. One day, I went to work and he and my other guy friend and her hung out. My guy friend went home after about 2 hours and my bf hung out with her for the whole day. She's in cosmetology so he asked her to cut his hair, she took him to a restaurant to eat before she dropped him off at my apt. 
I got upset, and i told him that i don't like that he keeps talking to her everyday. They just met, what do they have so much to talk about? He told me that they're just talking as friends, but i told him that feelings grow. He said that he won't do that again, that he won't text her again, but the next day, he did it again behind my back. When his phone beeped, he won't check it when I'm there, he only does it when i'm not in the room. I told him that night that i knew that he was still texting and snapchatting her behind my back. He said he knew, and he just wanted to see how I react and how long I can hold it. I got really mad and told him that he knew how i would react. After that, he just does it right in front of my face, not hiding anymore although he already promised that he wouldn't do it again. I told him that it makes me feel unwanted when he does that and it still didn't get to him. My sister talked to him when i wasn't there and he told my sister that "jealousy is such an eyesore" She told him that so is inconsiderate. I asked him to put himself in my shoes. How would he feels if i do the same thing to him with another guy and I was very disappointed in his answer. All he said was go ahead and do it because he trusts me. We have been in this relationship for 2 months. I don't think our trust bond is strong enough for him to say that. I started losing trust in him. He told me that he asked the girl if her bf is ok with them talking and she said her bf is fine with it. I didn't believe him when he said that. I told him that i don't feel secure in our relationship that i'm losing trust and all he said was to trust him, and that he's not gonna cheat on me.
I needed security and he wasn't giving me it. I texted the girl and asked her. She said that they're just talking as friends and she wouldn't do anything out of line. I believed her. I told her to put herself in my shoes, what would she feel if her bf is hanging out with her but talking, laughing with another girl on the phone. She said she understands and she would stop talking to him if i want her to. I told her that it's not that i don't want them to be friends, it's just that they are doing it too excessively. It was too much. My bf also accused me for having a friend look at his phone. I told him that I would never ever, in a million year do that. He said: "Well, your friend didn't act on his own, did he?" I got really hurt when he said that. He said he trusted me but he's not believing in what I'm telling him. When we have calmed down, I told him that it made me really sad when he said that and he doesn't know me at all. I'm not that kind of person. We decided that we're gonna wait to see if the girl is gonna text him first. I told him that if the situation get too uncomfortable for me and if it doesn't get any better, i'm going to remove myself from the situation. It got so bad that i got traumatized by his ringtone, when it rings, i keep thinking it was her, although i know i shouldn't think that, and it's probably not her all the time. 
My sister was texting me and we were talking about the situation. She said that he's not a man and that he's not good enough for me. She also asked me if i wanted some space. I said yes.. I don't have a password on my phone. So, the next day, while I was taking a shower, he looked at my phone and at my messages with my sister. He saw it and got upset.. He didn't wanna talk to me and ignoring me. I knew right away that he looked at my phone. I asked him but he denied. He was mad at me and he went to text her although we agreed that we were gonna wait. I was really hurt, and i felt like he was really immature for doing that. I talked to him and i told him how that made me feel and he said he was sorry. I also told him that he said he trust me but he looked through my phone, that's not trust. He apologized for hurting my feeling and he said he sees where i'm coming from. I told him that i was trying to build that trust with him, but when he texted her behind my back after he told me he wouldn't and when he looked through my phone, and texted her when he was mad at me, he knocked down my trust again and again. He went home and he said that he hasn't texted her for a couple days and asked if i trust him. Honestly, i didn't know if i trusted him or not. I told him that i will not bring it up again and let's forget it. 
He came to visit again last weekend and I know that he was texting her and snapchatting her again too. Idk who started and i know he was doing it less though. Idk if the girl doesn't answer all the time or is it him who was stopping. so i don't know if he was telling the truth when he said he stopped texting her for a couple days when he was at home. I don't really know what to do now. He sometimes make jokes about it. One of his friends knows about the situation so he was joking, saying let's go eat at "the girl's name" house. And my bf said, I can ask her... then he laughs. When i was joking that I'm gonna leave him and his friend to walk home, he said I know who to ask for a ride. then laughs. He knows that it makes me uncomfortable but why does he keep saying things like that. I keep telling myself that it's nothing because he likes to make friends, but at the same time, i can't help my feeling. I feel like he's still snapchatting her and texting her. I just want some opinion on the situation. What do soompiers think? Am i being too much? I just don't know what to think anymore. Our relationship is so new, and i already lost trust in him. 

Sorry for the long story... =)

Yo, he seems not to have been ready for a committed relationship with you. He thought it was cool at the time, but really he wants to see what's out there and just experience. one part of the experience is see what a relationship is like (so he's with you), the other part is to see what else is out there (so he talks to other girls). Obviously this is not ok. Whether it's ok for him to be doing this in relationship is beyond me although most would say no because it should be exclusive with a healthy amount of freedom and trust- but he's pushing it, so no, it's not you, you're good. but the definite truth is that you don't like something he does and he's not fixing it. Therefore he doesn't respect you enough even though you two are in a relationship, plus it's reasonable of you not to be thrilled about it.

I know you must be confused and scared, asking the forum even though you already know the answer- dump him or try to work things out (to which you are just beginning to by laying the problems down). you can try to be patient, there's still time to fix this, but it's hard for you to believe he'll stop talking to other girls when you don't trust him :/ but really, the only inhibition you have is not wanting to ruin the relationship, the happy memories you guys did have, and your love. but love doesn't equal a relationship, you guys have to work things out. you just don't want to dump him even though you know it's what you should do because you also don't want to lose him, but just remember- talking to other girls is a deal-breaker, you don't want to deal with that forever- is he worth dealing with that over??? be smart about it, and don't get too hurt. It's too late now, but you can still do damage control. good luck.

i think its okay for him to talk to other girls. who knows, they might really just be friendly with each other. the way they are connecting feeds your paranoia and in turn brews distrustful thoughts.

however, id still dump him. not because hes talking to other girls, but his response and attitude should give you a good indication on the type of person he is. unless thats the sort of richard simmons you want in a guy?

Very inconsiderate of him to continue to do something when you already told him multiple times that it made you uncomfortable. Sounds like he's very immature, and again, a very inconsiderate guy. Someone who is serious about their relationship would not purposely do these things behind their partner's back, ESPECIALLY when things have been talked about previously and the person knows that if they do this action it will cause harm/pain for the other. Broken trust is a hard issue to overcome. He really has to show you he's loyal to you and only you, and he will listen when you have something to say.
For me, it's a major red flag to see this issue come up when you guys have only been together for less than half a year. Like, seriously? 2 months and you guys are already having trust issues? For me, I would really just ditch the guy. He's not worth it, and I wouldn't want to stick with him longer to see what else he surprises me with.

I don't think your trust issue started because of him i have a feeling you had this feeling in the past also.

@raymondc27: The same thing happened with me and my ex and his feelings grew with the other girl. We broke up bc he said he wasn't ready for a relationship, then he started seeing her two weeks after we broke up

@raymondc27: The same thing happened with me and my ex and his feelings grew with the other girl. We broke up bc he said he wasn't ready for a relationship, thene started seeing her two weeks after we broke up

Hm I kind of figure somewhat happened in the past. It's hard to let go of things that hurt but it will take time. I really think you should take a break from relationship till you can truly trust someone. it takes a lot of time unless you can work it out with the guy.

I think going through my gf's phone reading through her texts is crossing the line (and vice versa for the ladies).  I think there is a different way of handling trust issues than going through other peoples messages without their consent.
You raised a concern with him several times and it seems everything hes done related to this situation was handled immaturely.  He seems to not be taking your concern seriously to the point where hes now mocking it.
Only going out for two months, I think a couple needs to be building their trust and when a trust issue like this comes up, it really builds on your future together.  Considering that, its pretty important how he handles this situation.  I dont think hes worried about the future too much or is too immature to understand how to build a long term relationship.  The way I see it, either hes already cheated or he doesnt know how to sacrifice or hes just immature.  I really dont think he's the right guy for you.

yah it's long @___@ i started skipping around but in general i get the jist of it all and i'd have to say that WHAT HE IS DOING IS NOT OKAY. No way would I be okay with my guy constantly texting and chatting to another girl. I honestly don't think guys and girls can chat that much w/o at least some flirting going on. You aren't wrong to be angry/jealous about it. He's being really immature as well if you've already voiced your opinion on the matter and he just goes ahead and continues anyways. It can be something you guys get over if he stops However, if he doesn't that's grounds for leaving him. If he can't be considerate now what makes you think he will be later. Especially so early into your relationship as well. Dude kinda seems like a player. He has you already but is flirting with another girl. NO WAY SON RELATIONSHIP OVER! I'm a possessive gf. That SHIZ IS NOT OKAY! All or nothing. I don't want something that doesn't want to be or can't be completely mine. PASS

On to the next one. He doesn't seem to care about your feelings and based on your long post he isn't going to change anytime soon. Best you move on and stop wasting your time with somebody so immature and inconsiderate.

You can't have a relationship without trust.

I don't know if i'm doing the right thing or not. I told him that this will be the last time i'm telling you this. i told him to give her up or give me up. If i know that he's doing it again, i will leave, this is his last chance. I know that he likes me, maybe he doesn't know the responsibilities of being in a relationship. 

I'm not sure how old you both are, but it seems like you both
are not ready for a serious relationship----especially on his part.
If you want to continuing being hurt, then keep dating him.
If you're smart, you know what to do.
He is obviously not taking you seriously, and why do you want that?

Last chances dont work, bc he won't change and you'll continue to make excuses for his behaviour. Been there done that. Boundary setting is a must, dump him.

I don't know if i'm doing the right thing or not. I told him that this will be the last time i'm telling you this. i told him to give her up or give me up. If i know that he's doing it again, i will leave, this is his last chance. I know that he likes me, maybe he doesn't know the responsibilities of being in a relationship. 

aimee phung said: I don't know if i'm doing the right thing or not. I told him that this will be the last time i'm telling you this. i told him to give her up or give me up. If i know that he's doing it again, i will leave, this is his last chance. I know that he likes me, maybe he doesn't know the responsibilities of being in a relationship. 

Once trust is broken its very hard to have it again. And you plan on continuing with this relationship, always being in doubt about his every move?

His attitude is so annoying. Double standards anyone. "Oh don't look at my phone but ill can look at yours."

Seriously there are so many other guys in the world. You sound young, so ill say why torment yourself over this. Go out there find someone else that won't break the trust within 2 months of a relationship.

I think that you both are not ready for a serious relationship, and that you are too committed to him while he isn't putting forth the same amount. 
It's only been two months, and you already distrust him. You're only just starting to lay down the foundation and it's been rocky. 
I feel like his responses, and how he dealt with your jealousy was pretty immature as well. If he was serious, he would at least try to make you understand his point of view to rationalize your thoughts... 
Try to have fun in life Don't be so upset over this. Get in touch with yourself before you invest so much emotionally in this guy. 

aimee phung said: I have talked to my sister and close friends about this situation that i'm in. I feel like it would be nice to get some opinion from people i don't know.
So i have been dating my bf for about two months now. We lived in different cities. We talked for about 3 month before we started dating. Recently, I did a traditional dance for the Lunar New Year, and i met some girls from the dance. My bf also came with me to rehearsal sometimes. He's a friendly guy, so he talks to them. One of the girls asked him for his snapchat id and they started snapchating. They became friends on fb and have been talking. I'm pretty sure my bf is the one that started the conversation... so then they exchanged numbers and they keep texting and snapchatting each other everyday from morning to night. I know this because he was still texting and snapchatting her when he's next to me, when he came visit me. She's also in a relationship. One day, I went to work and he and my other guy friend and her hung out. My guy friend went home after about 2 hours and my bf hung out with her for the whole day. She's in cosmetology so he asked her to cut his hair, she took him to a restaurant to eat before she dropped him off at my apt. 
I got upset, and i told him that i don't like that he keeps talking to her everyday. They just met, what do they have so much to talk about? He told me that they're just talking as friends, but i told him that feelings grow. He said that he won't do that again, that he won't text her again, but the next day, he did it again behind my back. When his phone beeped, he won't check it when I'm there, he only does it when i'm not in the room. I told him that night that i knew that he was still texting and snapchatting her behind my back. He said he knew, and he just wanted to see how I react and how long I can hold it. I got really mad and told him that he knew how i would react. After that, he just does it right in front of my face, not hiding anymore although he already promised that he wouldn't do it again. I told him that it makes me feel unwanted when he does that and it still didn't get to him. My sister talked to him when i wasn't there and he told my sister that "jealousy is such an eyesore" She told him that so is inconsiderate. I asked him to put himself in my shoes. How would he feels if i do the same thing to him with another guy and I was very disappointed in his answer. All he said was go ahead and do it because he trusts me. We have been in this relationship for 2 months. I don't think our trust bond is strong enough for him to say that. I started losing trust in him. He told me that he asked the girl if her bf is ok with them talking and she said her bf is fine with it. I didn't believe him when he said that. I told him that i don't feel secure in our relationship that i'm losing trust and all he said was to trust him, and that he's not gonna cheat on me.
I needed security and he wasn't giving me it. I texted the girl and asked her. She said that they're just talking as friends and she wouldn't do anything out of line. I believed her. I told her to put herself in my shoes, what would she feel if her bf is hanging out with her but talking, laughing with another girl on the phone. She said she understands and she would stop talking to him if i want her to. I told her that it's not that i don't want them to be friends, it's just that they are doing it too excessively. It was too much. My bf also accused me for having a friend look at his phone. I told him that I would never ever, in a million year do that. He said: "Well, your friend didn't act on his own, did he?" I got really hurt when he said that. He said he trusted me but he's not believing in what I'm telling him. When we have calmed down, I told him that it made me really sad when he said that and he doesn't know me at all. I'm not that kind of person. We decided that we're gonna wait to see if the girl is gonna text him first. I told him that if the situation get too uncomfortable for me and if it doesn't get any better, i'm going to remove myself from the situation. It got so bad that i got traumatized by his ringtone, when it rings, i keep thinking it was her, although i know i shouldn't think that, and it's probably not her all the time. 
My sister was texting me and we were talking about the situation. She said that he's not a man and that he's not good enough for me. She also asked me if i wanted some space. I said yes.. I don't have a password on my phone. So, the next day, while I was taking a shower, he looked at my phone and at my messages with my sister. He saw it and got upset.. He didn't wanna talk to me and ignoring me. I knew right away that he looked at my phone. I asked him but he denied. He was mad at me and he went to text her although we agreed that we were gonna wait. I was really hurt, and i felt like he was really immature for doing that. I talked to him and i told him how that made me feel and he said he was sorry. I also told him that he said he trust me but he looked through my phone, that's not trust. He apologized for hurting my feeling and he said he sees where i'm coming from. I told him that i was trying to build that trust with him, but when he texted her behind my back after he told me he wouldn't and when he looked through my phone, and texted her when he was mad at me, he knocked down my trust again and again. He went home and he said that he hasn't texted her for a couple days and asked if i trust him. Honestly, i didn't know if i trusted him or not. I told him that i will not bring it up again and let's forget it. 
He came to visit again last weekend and I know that he was texting her and snapchatting her again too. Idk who started and i know he was doing it less though. Idk if the girl doesn't answer all the time or is it him who was stopping. so i don't know if he was telling the truth when he said he stopped texting her for a couple days when he was at home. I don't really know what to do now. He sometimes make jokes about it. One of his friends knows about the situation so he was joking, saying let's go eat at "the girl's name" house. And my bf said, I can ask her... then he laughs. When i was joking that I'm gonna leave him and his friend to walk home, he said I know who to ask for a ride. then laughs. He knows that it makes me uncomfortable but why does he keep saying things like that. I keep telling myself that it's nothing because he likes to make friends, but at the same time, i can't help my feeling. I feel like he's still snapchatting her and texting her. I just want some opinion on the situation. What do soompiers think? Am i being too much? I just don't know what to think anymore. Our relationship is so new, and i already lost trust in him. 

I think you want to impose a level of trust that does not match the stage of your relationship. He isn't ready to commit to you, and trying to hang onto whatever thread of trust there is left may only exacerbate the issue if he meets other girls down the road.

That said, you (OP) don't seem to have as much invested in the relationship as you are forcing yourself to. To me, it sounds like you're fighting for the relationship for the sake of it, rather than actually believing in it.

Move on.

I think "Trust" is the key to a healthy relationship. Both needs to be able to trust each other. I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 years. We know that we can trust the other person to stay loyal to us. I can trust him to hang out with his gal friends one-on-one. He can trust me to hang out with my guy friends. I feel that I need to be able to trust a guy in order for me to give the rest of my life to him (and he to me). 
I can't tell you what to do because it's your life. But can you imagine spending the rest of your life with him? How long can you put up with him being not trustworthy/loyal to you?