Boyfriend wants to start over as friends?

So my boyfriend asked me out not too long ago and we've been going out for about two months. But the other day he asked to start over as friends because we both sort of rushed into this relationship. We knew each other for a while but only got close when school started. Shortly after, he asked me out and I decided to give him a chance.
Lately he had been ignoring my calls and text and IMs. When I asked him about it, he said he was really busy with work and he forgot to text me. When I try to send him texts and IMs he sends me one word answers and takes forever to reply. I thought something was wrong and I asked him if he wanted to talk, and he said we could have a talk at the end of the week. I told him I can come over now to talk but he said "No, it's okay. It's late and I have a lot of work to do and I'm sure you do too". So I just agreed and for the rest of the week I had not heard of him at all. 

When we met up to talk, he said he wanted to completely start over as friends. He said that he's different around me because he usually acts different when talking to girls than when talking to guys. He said that he's not himself when he was with me because he's usually very reserved around girls. It was also hard to manage the relationship because there was a lot of schoolwork in the way. He wanted to start over as friends and work at it more slowly to get more familiar with me and get closer. 

I'm not sure what to do because I always thought he didn't pay enough attention to me. He usually has a lot of college work to do and I understand that, but sometimes I wish he would be more supportive of me and pay a little more attention to me and be more affectionate. But whenever I think this, I just brush it off telling myself that it's just because he doesn't have any experience and he doesn't know and I keep thinking that I'm just being needy and asking for too much. 

Sorry if this post is all over the place. There's a lot of stuff I just wanted to pour out of my head right now haha

Don't try to convince yourself that it's just because he's not experienced. Don't settle for less than you deserve/want. Also it's very hard to be just friends that you had feelings for or you know they've had feelings for you as well. But if YOU feel like putting in the work and you think that it's time well invested in this person go for it. You might be wasting your time trying to change this person that could be going to meeting another person that actually understands how you feel and knows what you want.

It contradicts that he wants to get to know you better yet he's neglecting your feelings and not investing time in it. I think he is just not ready/wanting to commit. Probably better to move on unless you are cool with a more casual relationship.

I don't think that behavior is because he doesn't have experience... it sounds like, to be completely honest, that he may be losing interest in you. You don't sound needy at all. Everybody in a relationship needs attention and affection from their s/o... it's completely normal. If his level of attention/affection doesn't meet your needs, it's your job to communicate that to him and talk about it so you both come to an understanding.

He wanted to start over as friends and work at it more slowly to get more familiar with me and get closer.

Being in a relationship is what helps two people become closer and familiar with each other. Unlike a lot of TV shows and movies, not all beautiful/perfect-esque relationships start as friendships. If he was fine with you for the last two months as his girlfriend, he'd continue working FOR the relationship to improve so that you guys can become closer and reach that level of closeness as a couple, not as friends.

IMHO, he sounds to me like he's making up bs excuses to break up to not hurt your feelings. Otherwise, he sounds like a richard simmons and you deserve way better than this guy who doesn't even have the decency to reply to your texts.

Sounds to me that he just doesn't want the relationship anymore, not your fault at all. All the other stuff he says are just b.s. to try to make him look like the nice guy, if he really wanted the relationship in the first place he wouldn't be stepping back and wanting to go backwards and "start as friends again".

Time to say goodbye

Boyfriend wants to start over as friends.

What really matters to you in the end?

What do you want?

I'm not sure what I should do. :/ I don't know if he can change. He's in pre-pharm right now so he has a lot of college work and I don't know if his behavior will change if we were to get back together in like a year or two from now.  I don't know if I should wait for him...I mean should I really wait till HE'S ready? I feel like that shows he doesn't really think about how I would feel. But I can't help thinking that it's because he doesn't have knowledge about relationships. 

happynonsense said: I'm not sure what I should do. :/ I don't know if he can change. He's in pre-pharm right now so he has a lot of college work and I don't know if his behavior will change if we were to get back together in like a year or two from now.  I don't know if I should wait for him...I mean should I really wait till HE'S ready? I feel like that shows he doesn't really think about how I would feel. But I can't help thinking that it's because he doesn't have knowledge about relationships. 

Sounds like another way of saying of taking things slow and seeing what happens/ an innuendo to getting back together

I only read the title and this is my response- no. I've never been one to be friends with an ex but I know some people are able to.. sort of? At the end of the day, that person is still their ex and not their friend. It's really hard to see them as completely a friend. Imagine they start dating someone new eventually and you find out about it. Or worse yet, they tell you and even the details. You may get over them, but it's odd and perhaps hurtful to yourself. You probably still like your bf so it's going to mix you up.. I like clean cuts, prevents drama, shows them what they lost and it's more fair to the new guy you eventually date. That's my two cents.

blush said:
happynonsense said: I'm not sure what I should do. :/ I don't know if he can change. He's in pre-pharm right now so he has a lot of college work and I don't know if his behavior will change if we were to get back together in like a year or two from now.  I don't know if I should wait for him...I mean should I really wait till HE'S ready? I feel like that shows he doesn't really think about how I would feel. But I can't help thinking that it's because he doesn't have knowledge about relationships. 

Sounds like a cop out, to me. It doesn't seem like he genuinely like-likes you, but sees you more as a friend? Hope you didn't go too far with him.

I know plenty of people who were swamped with work (my friend was a TA AND juggled school plus research) and still made time for his girlfriend. He even got into a top med school program. Hell yea he was busy, but damned if he wasnt a good boyfriend.

Just forget him - you two haven't been together long enough to be emotionally invested. Seems like he feels "uncomfortable" being around you, always avoiding you.

Sounds like a pretty poor excuse of saying, that he doesn't actually want you as a gf right now :(No matter how busy a guy is, if he's serious he WILL make time for you. Even if its just studying 2gether at each others houses
You are not being too needy and not asking for too much...i think you should forget about him and find sum1 who is willing to much as much effort into the relationship as you are!

Please don't wait for someone to 'change.' It seems like he has gently broken up with you while leading you on with some hope. There is always time if he wanted to put in the effort to make time for you. You don't ignore someone you're romantically interested in as you described.

Getting friendzoned is always tough. 

Ehh... I feel like it's just a break up excuse...
I was practically with my bf (1 year and 3 months now) a week after we met... If a guy really likes you he'd want to keep you for himself. Also, I believe dating is how you "get to know" the other person romantically, other wise it's just friendship. 

He likes a new girl. He wants her and is tired of you. Tell him friends is great with you. Ignore him. Be a better you and meet a hotter guy. That can make you scream

Maybe he's not yet ready to commit and all. Don't settle for someone who don't deserve you. But eventually, time will tell...