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Texan Andrew Mendoza confessed he "messed" with his neighbour's horse, after he was stood up by his girlfriend.
The 29-year-old told cops: "I was at my house waiting for my girlfriend to call. I told myself that if she didn't call me I was going to to next door and mess with the neighbour's horse."
After describing in detail his sexual escapade, Mendoza stunned officers in Wharton County, Texas, by claiming he was trying to impregnate the animal.
He said: "I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horse-man baby."
Mendoza later pleaded guilty to public lewdness and criminal trespass and was sentenced to four months in jail.