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He broke up to sleep with someone else


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I had a boyfriend whom I loved dearly. I think we got along great, but there was just one major thing we couldn't agree on. He felt really embarrassed over the fact that he was 17 and still a virgin. Personally, I thought it was completely normal. I definitely didn't want to deal with the emotional burdens of sex, so I kept refusing it with him. Eventually, we decided we couldn't settle our differences and broke up. I couldn't ever remember a time when I felt so awful. What's worse is that right after we split, a girl who really disliked our relationship jumped on the opportunity to have sex with him. He took it. I felt really hurt. Like I just wasn't worth the wait. And so I yelled at him and it ended pretty badly. A little while later he asks to meet with me to apologize. I decide to forgive him but I'm still really hurt over what he did. He seemed genuinely apologetic and was crying too. He asked for a second chance, but I decided against it. What do you think? Most people would say that I shouldn't hold it against him since we were broken up when he slept with her. The problem is that I value sex and believe it should be shared with someone you truly love and trust. He doesn't hold any sort of significance in sex and would probably do it with anyone. However, he did tell me that he didn't enjoy the sex all that much and it didn't actually make him feel better about himself. I actually think he's more childish than a bad person. A part of me believes everyone deserves a second chance, but another part tells me if he couldn't wait for me, he doesn't deserve me. I'm not sure what to think.

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Guest itrayya

you did the right thing! good for you. i hope more girls are like you.
for him to 'force' you, you might end up regretting it in the future.

trust your instinct and follow your heart, you will never regret that.
i take having sex for the first time as a serious thing and each person should be able to decide that time.
he decided his time with that girl, you should be able to value yourself too.

you are right, he's more childish and immature.
you deserve someone better, someone who sees your point of view and not make you feel guilty for your choices.

good luck. you have a good head on your shoulders :)>-

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Guest Chasing-A-Fairytale

He's only 17. When I read the title of this thread I thought there would be a bigger number. Honestly, if he's that willing to lose his virginity to someone whom he doesn't care about as much as you or love, he doesn't deserve it. Of course later on his mind will start to think more and he will feel bad but don't let that guilt you in. Anyone can cry and apologize. If he wants you back he really has to show it to you. He needs to take some time to take a breather and to mature up. Best of luck to you~

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Guest wowwh

If he's ready and you're not, and, after you break up because of that, he sleeps with someone else who offers it to him... doesn't that say enough? I do believe that people deserve second chances and that people make mistakes (especially someone at his age) but really, that means he is not ready for a relationship. It pretty crappy thing to happen but hey, at least you stood your ground. At least you didn't give in because it is important that you recognized that how you value sex is and how he values it is different. It happens. It's all up to you really but I really do think you already know your answer. Good luck! 

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First off.. I want to say, "props to you!" I am glad that you held your ground and did not give in to him.
As for whether you should give him a second chance or not, I suggest you do not give in to his pleas. If you take him back, he is bound to do it again.. and by that I mean, "break up with you" (so he can do whatever he wants) and then come running back to you (when he had his fun) in the near future. Everyone makes mistakes, but there are some mistakes that are not acceptable.

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Guest makeme111

The guy is lying, sex feels great.
from your words you sound like you still want to be with him and want someone here to tell you "he deserves a second chance!"...
but don't. Guys who've had sex once would not just "stop wanting to have sex"...maybe not immediately after you get back together, but eventually he'll go digging around for sex again, and a couple of months down the road you'll be in the same situation.

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You deserve someone better who will treat you the way you treat them.  Your bf would truly love you if he agreed to wait as long as you wanted and would stick by you, indicating you are worth the wait.  Forget about him and find another who will not be childish about sex.

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Guest blankety

Simple, he's a guy and needed his quick fix. I don't even know why he wants to get back with you though, if he broke up to have sex, why would he go back to someone who "wouldn't" give him sex? He sounds like an idiot. Move on.

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You did good for standing your ground but don't give him the second chance.
He has already had sex and if you get back with him, it is a guarantee that he will try and pressure you again to have sex with him.
He has tasted the forbidden fruit and will want more of it.

You deserve better and will find better.
Someone who is willing to wait when you are ready to.

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No, you did correctly. Don't feel bad for turning him down. :) Breaking up with someone you supposedly love because they don't want to do it doesn't make him a nice boyfriend at all. I can see that you still have feelings for him but you've got stand on your ground! Don't let your heart go soft just because he apologized. Even if you turned him down, if he's really sincere in having you back, he'll try again and again. That's when you should consider having him back. He'll show you that he's changed. But if he gives up after being turned down once, he's not worth it.

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Guest bona fide*

If he valued the relationship in the first place, he would have stayed to make it work. He threw it away so easily to pursue lust, what makes you believe he won't do it again?

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I think you were right for doing what you did. I would be more disappointed if you jumped the wagon and went out with him again, He gave into the pressure of needing to have sex probably because he hears stories around him or from his friends how they do it with their girlfriends. I agree with you, Sex is something that should be shared between two people that are committed and when they are ready. If he wants to break up with you and sleep with another person (especially someone who dislike your relationship to begin with) that is like a stab in the back. 
Now you know what a complete richard simmons that richard simmons is, and what a complete moron your boyfriend is (ex-boyfriend)
I don't care if a guy comes up to me crying his eyes out and begging me to give him a second chance. He already gave up something special that could have been shared between you two. Ask him this. Is there ever a chance to be a virgin a second time? clearly the answer is no (unless he has traumatic brain injury and lost his memory about ever sleeping with that girl, the likely hood is not happening). That trust, that bond is broken. How can you respect and love someone who doesn't respect and love their own body? 
He should have thought about the consequences before his actions. Right now, you should not be gunning for left overs. If you get back together with him, think about how that girl he slept with will be like. spreading nasty rumors, making YOU feel more out of place and uncomfortable, making you feel second best because he gave it up to HER first and you were there to pick up the scraps, I can go on about this...it will eventually lead to another break up. You might as well save yourself the time and energy and move with someone who see's eye to eye with you and extend that curtsy to you.  
I also agree with someone in here, he is probably lying about the "sex wasn't good" part. Yes, probably he is regretting his slept with an ugly skank which made him unable to orgasm to his fullest potential, but that is no excuse. 
good luck~

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Guest loveone1430291711

 Don't bother yourself to that EX person of yours.. he doesn't deserve any from you. You did the right thing dear and be proud of yourself. Good Job. have your comfort here www.thelovepark.com

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Guest loveone1430291711

Don't bother yourself to that EX person of yours.. he doesn't deserve any from you. You did the right thing dear and be proud of yourself. Good Job. have your comfort here http://www.thelovepark.com

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Guest Tofu_Cloud

READ THIS NOW!!!

 

you now what? GOOD FOR YOU!

Be proud of who you are and your beliefs! There is too many easily hobags out there!

And your bf is a PIG to go out there to have sex with a easy wh0re$lut.

He is dirty. You know what? BELIEVE ME, you have to BELIEVE ME ON THIS!  You are sooo young. It's not liek you're going to marry this dude anyways. Please let go of him, throw him out of your life, and focus on school and your girl friends!

Please! I wish someone could have told me this when i was a teenager. Dont waste your body on someone who dumped you cuz he was horny and wanted to bang. He is disgusting. And it's onyl going to get worse as your relationship gets older.

I've been with guys who were willing to wait for years and NEVER EVER pressured me to have sex. Trust me, your bf is a deuce!

Find a nice clean genuinely good boy, who deserves a rare girl like you who isn't so easily to give all herself away.

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Guest ttrin

uhhhhh first of all, let it be known that i do not think a relationships requires sex to be healthy-this is just based on experience and i proclaiming it as anything other than a preference is totally not the intent.

so he didn't cheat on you but had the sex he wanted after being denied by you for your own reasons made quite clear to him. after having said sex he wanted to come back to you realizing....(?)

what exactly did he feel bad for bc it shouldn't have been merely for reasons of having sex. you guys have separate priorities and regardless of much they "clash"  as a couple of people who both equally wanted to make it work, it SHOULD'VE worked the FIRST time-i don't  believe in re-dating exes. i just don't suggest it. how will you ever be able to forgive/forget such a trespass if you think you'll always find such merit in the lacktherof?

there's nothing wrong with wanting to wait but theres also nothing wrong with sharing that kind of intimacy with one you truly thinks deserves it. if you still think there's an honest chance, just talk through it first. there must be compromise made and you have to realize that his actions were a direct result of yours and vice versa. no one's really in the wrong.

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