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"No, I'm not interested"

BingBong_514BingBong_514 Posts: 284Member
edited March 2012 in love & relationships
are the words I'm finding difficult to vocalise!
Wow, been long since I've started my own thread!

Anyway, I'm sure you're all very bored of those "How do I..." threads but this troll needs some help. :unsure:


The question:


How do you say "no" to people you've previously showed interest in?


Long story short:
1. Meet this guy last yr, started talking, added each other on FB
2. He invited me to a NY event (to which I didn't attend due to family commitments), began to dislike his attitude from the way he responded to my decline of his invitation
3. Haven't talked to each other until a few months ago, awkward convos
4. Liked his post on FB today, he started talking to me. Seemed awfully horny ie. "Hit-on-come-to-me" jokes, "You miss me" mini coop... :crazy:


Now I want to say, "Let's be friends; I feel uncomfortable with your advances now" but I sense that this will be a prelude to a temper rage on his behalf, followed by him unfriending me and us avoiding each other at Uni.

Yes, I did "lead him on", in the sense that I wanted to get to know him first but I guess men these days don't seem to like to take it slow... :vicx:

Replies

  • pervertpervert Baby Trafficker Posts: 1,513Member

    IDOL

    edited March 2012
    I feel you! After gaining a little dating experience, some guys start to that feel it's unnecessary to be subtle and become so forward when talking to women. It's no longer a thing to get to know one another and to go steady lol. If you really would like to be just friends, then just be straight with him and say that you're uncomfortable with those certain things he says, because you're not attracted to him anymore. A person like that won't understand if you beat around the bush about it. If he can't handle being just friends and throws a tantrum, then you'd probably be better off not being his friend anyway.

  • PaladinePaladine Posts: 94Member
    Well for starters you can eliminate the "lets be friends" comment. If you were really his friend you would take care of his " needs ". Since you are selfish and uncaring, you should not pretend to be his friend. :ph34r:
    Sherlock_Mowgjasmine~
  • LauvableLauvable AustraliaPosts: 195Member
    You could make him feel awkward by talking about your ex's and other guys
    Walk on with hope in your heart, And you'll never walk alone.

    411: http://www.soompi.com/forums/topic/371042-fail-asian-is-here/
  • kangta26kangta26 Posts: 276Member

    ROOKIE

    Two solutions,first ~ be honest and tell him you're not interested anymore, if he takes u off his facebook, whats the big deal? Or Second ~ tell him u contracted an std, that usually will work for stopping advances ^_^.. bad thing is he might tell everyone.. @_@
  • Mr-2PMMr-2PM Posts: 49Member
    I never really understood what a girl meant when they want to take it slow and steady? I know for sure it means we should get to know each other better first.. but how does one accomplish this?
  • LieLie I'm #1 Posts: 3,202Moderator

    MODERATOR

    edited March 2012
    BingBong_514 wrote on 02 March 2012 - 04:50 AM:
    Now I want to say, "Let's be friends; I feel uncomfortable with your advances now"

    This is where most girls go wrong imo. If a guy is approaching you in that way, he doesn't want to be friends. Don't try to make him into a friend otherwise you're likely going to keep dealing with him trying to make it more over and over again. Guys rarely want to accept the friend-zone. For him, it's likely either a relationship or nothing--you don't want a relationship with him, so it's best you just leave it at nothing.
    Mr-2PMbona fide*jasmine~AliBoO
  • MrPowerMrPower Good Cook Victoria IslandPosts: 2,453Moderator

    MODERATOR

    Apathy tends to ward off men like no other.
    If he has a brain, he'll get the picture.
  • funnybear1funnybear1 Posts: 144Member
    just say you're sorry that you're a bad girl and he's a good boy
  • SunniRiseSunniRise Someone... feed me. Baker StreetPosts: 3,297Member

    SUPERSTAR

    Tell him:

    "I don't like you enough, now you can accept my friendship or leave."

    Problem solved.

    =P
    (411)
    Feel free to follow. 
  • AnthonyKkoKkoAnthonyKkoKko Ontario, CanadaPosts: 1,991Member

    IDOL

    edited March 2012
    Tell him straight up,

    "I don't like you. Stop talking to me."


    From the sounds of it, you don't even like him enough to maintain a friendship...


    ...so you'd might as well cut him out from your life if he's just going to cause you problems and stress.

    Don't be sensitive about it and just be blunt / assertive with him. He'll get the clue... and well... if he doesn't, then you can call the cops or something haha ^^
    Please kindly read the signature rules.
  • damyoungjidamyoungji Toronto, CanadaPosts: 4,238Member

    IDOL

    Wait.. does he know you used to be interested in him? Either he does not know, or you forgot to include it into the list of "long story short".

    Whether he knows you were interested in him or not, you do not have to mention about how you are uncomfortable with his "advances". You can tell him that you do not appreciate it when he makes such jokes. By doing so, it will not make it look like you do not think highly of him, AND it will save you some embarrassment when he is just kidding, and is in no way trying to make something out of the friendship the two of you share.

    If he is going to flip out because what makes him comfortable and what makes you comfortable is not the same, then he is not even worth keeping in touch with. A lot of people, not just men but women, do not like to take it slow these days. People call me conservative, but I am just being me. There ought to be guys out there who are not like him out there for people like us.
    MythnoonA
  • BingBong_514BingBong_514 Posts: 284Member
    HAHA Thanks for all the post, guys!


    A restraining order seems to be the best thing to do here! :vicx:


    I've tried the apathy thing but after months of not answering him on FB chat and what not, he turns around says "Do you miss me?" just because I like his post yesterday, the first time in months.

    Funny because I've only met him in person once but these days, he says he sees me at Uni sometimes (going to his campus this year)... Which is...

    AWKWARD.

    What happens if we bump into each other...?
  • msLynmsLyn absurdburd. my roomPosts: 1,914Friend of Soompi

    IDOL

    Just delete and ignore, lol.

     And if you happen to "bump" into him somewhere, just go "Oh hey!  Didn't see you there!  I'm in a rush so I'll talk to you some other time, bye!"  - then run/power-walk like a mofo out of there.


    Yep.
    pigrabbit.gif
    Dance to your heart's content.

  • SunniRiseSunniRise Someone... feed me. Baker StreetPosts: 3,297Member

    SUPERSTAR

    You should definitely get a restraining order...
    Nothing screams out "I don't like you" more than a restraining order. I think I might get one too...
    (411)
    Feel free to follow. 
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