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Obsessive and Controlling Girlfriend?

MC_LeeMC_Lee Posts: 0Friend of Soompi

TRAINEE

edited February 2012 in love & relationships
Ok, so I've been friends with this couple. The guy is very laid back and relaxed, but the girl on the other hand is always stressed and hectic. Recently , we've gotten into an argument, because the guy tutors after school in a library, and I often go to get tutored. So whenever this happens, she gets very angry and controlling. She hates to see her bf hanging out with other girls, even if he only talks to them. She got into a fight with me, for a stupid reason, and we're no longerbut I feel like the real reason was because she's afraid of losing him. what do you guys think? Also, even though I got into a fight with his gf, would it be wrong for him to continue helping me? or should I just avoid him altogether.
Any advice would be helpful. :sweatingbullets:

Replies

  • JooleaJoolea Posts: 134Member
    If you think that you gave her any chances to worry, then stop what you are doing. But if not, then goddamn, your study grades are more important! 

    And yes, girls can get extremely possessive and defensive of what they cherish. Shows that this girl doesn't trust her boyfriend enough. 
    maoxmaocaroli55
  • blushblush vegasPosts: 1,738Member

    IDOL

    Have you ever calmly talked to her about her insecurities? I mean, she sure as hell sounds VERY insecure. I understand that your grades are important, so probably getting tutored by a friend is easier and even perhaps cheaper (or even free?) - which is just all the better! Not to mention, if her bf is tutoring for money or just as a nice gesture or community service, he's bound to talk to girls. I mean, really. Not everyone who needs tutoring is gonna be a guy. She has to be realistic.

    If you can, maybe try to find another tutor if this keeps persisting. Sometimes girls like that are so stubborn, that you'd only get in the way of their relationship. He should learn to deal with his own girlfriend as well, not just you. I'm curious: does he say anything about this?
  • itrayyaitrayya latchkey princess. California.Posts: 7,221Friend of Soompi

    IDOL

    her insecurities is her own personal issue.
    don't stop your life for her.
    sounds like a drama queen.

    you're not doing anything wrong by getting your study on.
    if you feel weird studying with him again, it's okay. find another tutor.
    clear the air.
    ZoidbergMDMaaiissterrmchelly114
  • MentorMentor Posts: 424Member, New Member

    IDOL

    MC_Lee wrote on 27 February 2012 - 08:52 PM:

    Ok, so I've been friends with this couple. The guy is very laid back and relaxed, but the girl on the other hand is always stressed and hectic. Recently , we've gotten into an argument, because the guy tutors after school in a library, and I often go to get tutored. So whenever this happens, she gets very angry and controlling. She hates to see her bf hanging out with other girls, even if he only talks to them. She got into a fight with me, for a stupid reason,  and we're no longerbut I feel like the real reason was because she's afraid of losing him. what do you guys think? Also, even though I got into a fight with his gf, would it be wrong for him to continue helping me? or should I just avoid him altogether.
    Any advice would be helpful. :sweatingbullets:


        Well I certainly wouldn't allow her to use me as a doormat. If she's insecure then so is he if he won't speak up for himself and demand respect from her. Your fight with her has nothing to do with him so yes, if you can, keep getting tutored by him. It is principally his responsibility to restrain her and it wouldn't hurt for you to support him since he's helping you out.
      If it were easy, then everybody would be doing it.
  • MC_LeeMC_Lee Posts: 0Friend of Soompi

    TRAINEE

    itrayya wrote on 28 February 2012 - 06:52 PM:

    her insecurities is her own personal issue.
    don't stop your life for her.
    sounds like a drama queen.

    you're not doing anything wrong by getting your study on.
    if you feel weird studying with him again, it's okay. find another tutor.
    clear the air.




    I found someone else to get tutored by. Apparently after we had the fight, his gf told him about it and I guess he feels supportive by ignoring me. To me, he seems weak. He lets her controll him too much.
  • knockblockknockblock Posts: 3,729Member

    IDOL

    MC_Lee wrote on 02 March 2012 - 05:06 PM:

    I found someone else to get tutored by. Apparently after we had the fight, his gf told him about it and I guess he feels supportive by ignoring me. To me, he seems weak. He lets her controll him too much.


    I think you rest your case.
  • AnthonyKkoKkoAnthonyKkoKko Ontario, CanadaPosts: 1,991Member

    IDOL

    The guy lacks an opinion and he's a pushover...
    The girl is freakishly possessive and whack...

    Relationships can't be like that.

    It requires equal trust and love from both people...


    If you hadn't found a new tutor, I would tell you to get tutored by the guy anyway to motivate him to fix his relationship with his girl, but since you found a new tutor, it's all good. :3


    But remember, your education is more important than some couple's petty problems!
    Please kindly read the signature rules.
  • gingerginger i'm a monster!!!!!!!!!&a Seoul, South KoreaPosts: 7,002Friend of Soompi

    IDOL

    MC_Lee wrote on 02 March 2012 - 07:06 PM:

    I found someone else to get tutored by. Apparently after we had the fight, his gf told him about it and I guess he feels supportive by ignoring me. To me, he seems weak. He lets her controll him too much.



    You know, something similar happened to me.

    I had a great friend--he was like a brother. We called each other "twin", all the time, instead of our real names. The week after I left Korea, he started dating a Korean girl. She seemed so sweet at first--she friended me on facebook, commented on my pictures, etc. He and I still talked every night on gchat and sometimes would skype. Slowly, she got fed up. She told him she hated that we called each other "twin" and that we had so many inside jokes. He pleaded with her to understand--that we were just friends, I was married, and it was nothing more than a deep, mutual, NON-SEXUAL friendship and respect we had for each other. She shut up about it but...in the end, I found out that she was going into his gmail account when he was sleeping and deleting my emails. One day, she actually responded to one of my emails saying, "stop bothering me, i don't want to talk to you anymore." I went ballistic on him, going, "****, are you kidding me? Does your gf run your life? What the **** is going on in your relationship??"

    In the end, to pacify her, he agreed to stop talking to me. Completely. More than hurt (and I was hurt), I was angry at him. He was being weak. I was his friend, but suddenly, I had to be completely silenced by a girl he'd been dating for half a year? We didn't talk for six months. He came crawling back with apologies out of the blue, saying he should have known she was crazy, they had broken up, he had been completely brainwashed by her, and he had ended up having to cut out all of his other friends--male and female--by the time they had broken up.

    Sometimes, people can't see the truth from their positions. It takes time and a different situation to make them realize how foolish they've been. His relationship, or any relationship that relies on cutting out things that one party finds refreshing and normal, is not healthy. Hopefully, he'll realize it one day.

    -ginger
    Nutik
  • ecstaticstrangerecstaticstranger Posts: 111Member, New Member
    If you don't want them to get in an argument over you then you should stop getting help from him. Because there's always a chance she'll find out if you do get help from him, and always 0% chance that she'll find out if you don't get help from him.

    When a person in a relationship doesn't allow the other person to talk to a certain gender, that's kind of hard to do, considering that there are so many on Earth. It's not impossible, but it's hard. I think she needs to learn to allow the guy to talk to girls. But he should help too. It could start off slow with him talking to girls in her presence. And then after she's comfortable with that, then comes little things.

    Gotta go eat.
    sorry that the person you once loved wholeheartedly is someone you now hate.Suga Shikao--Tsuki No Knife                                       i will.
    Thank you for your tenacious nature. Especially when I rarely speak my mind.
    "Please give me some more time; you’re someone I can love & the one I will love is you."
    June 7, 200810:17PM
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