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Anyone else have an OKcupid account.. ??

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Replies

  • kangta26kangta26 Posts: 276Member

    ROOKIE

    x-serendipity-x wrote on 03 March 2012 - 10:50 PM:

    Mine's sincerityx. I ain't no troll lol. But seriously, I can't believe I created an account on there again. This time around, I haven't been in the mood to write anything in my profile yet. My last one was really well written, and I was so honest and sincere in there. Then I got taken advantage of lol. I dunno. Just have a few pics up right now. I can't search for anyone's profile on there for some reason!


    You have round eyes for an asian ^_^.. haha i just saw you visit ... kay add to your profile.. gonna critique.. enh enh.
  • x-serendipity-xx-serendipity-x Posts: 192Member

    ROOKIE

    ^ Yeah, my eyes are pretty big and even bulgy at times lol. No wonder I couldn't find you! You're using a different username on that site haha! :)
    FotoFlexer_Photo-1.jpg
  • kangta26kangta26 Posts: 276Member

    ROOKIE

    x-serendipity-x wrote on 04 March 2012 - 01:11 AM:

    ^ Yeah, my eyes are pretty big and even bulgy at times lol. No wonder I couldn't find you! You're using a different username on that site haha! :)


    yeah, i originally had an account and deleted it after one day, but then i put another back up ^_^, haha i think i love "kangta" in a bro kinda way, bromance?, i've been using his name in my usernames since i started watching them.., he and moon hee jun were so "cool" @_@..
  • deadgiveawaydeadgiveaway Southern CaliforniaPosts: 535Member
    dchu wrote on 20 February 2012 - 12:37 PM:

    I'd qualify even one message beyond the "no longer interested" stage to be pestering, especially if it's of the "Why aren't you interested?" variety. Dating isn't charity and you're not entitled to an explanation. Frankly, I can understand why you might have had trouble. The sense I get from you through limited exposure is defensive, self-victimizing, argumentative, and unrelentingly dogmatic. Maybe that's completely off base, but that's certainly the vibe you give off via interwebz and I can't imagine it'd have been too different on OKC.


    I received a message that is very similar to something that was brought up earlier in this thread. Someone messaged me to state that he saw I visited his profile but haven't responded to his message, and that he is open to any feedback why. I really think that my personal preferences are none of his business, so I simply replied to that with "Hi, I don't respond if I am not interested in dating the message sender. Thanks for your understanding :)" and then he replied:

    "Duh!? I can deduct that, I was asking why you're not interested, if there was anything that stuck out. It seems to be a trend with asian women that I'm not white enough, wondering if there was anything else to it. Thanks anyways."

    I definitely consider this pestering, and he shouldn't be taking out his frustration on me by making unfounded assumptions. Not only can I NOT speak for most Asian women, but also there is nothing in my profile that suggests I favor white guys. I responded with something similar to dchu's statement above, then blocked the guy. Stuff like this makes me sick of online dating, but there are people like this everywhere, whether on the internet or IRL.
    RKDGirl
  • x-serendipity-xx-serendipity-x Posts: 192Member

    ROOKIE

    kangta26 wrote on 03 March 2012 - 11:27 PM:

    yeah, i originally had an account and deleted it after one day, but then i put another back up ^_^, haha i think i love "kangta" in a bro kinda way, bromance?, i've been using his name in my usernames since i started watching them.., he and moon hee jun were so "cool" @_@..


    lol, it's okay. I understand, as I have a huge crush on Song Hye Kyo myself. XD
    FotoFlexer_Photo-1.jpg
  • zantac_2zantac_2 sydPosts: 3,192Member

    IDOL

    deadgiveaway wrote on 04 March 2012 - 01:46 AM:

    "Duh!? I can deduct that, I was asking why you're not interested, if there was anything that stuck out. It seems to be a trend with asian women that I'm not white enough, wondering if there was anything else to it. Thanks anyways."

    should have told him something like 'oh no. youre definately white enough, just not the right shade of white. better luck in your next life [insert smiley face]'.
    Angel
  • dchudchu Bay AreaPosts: 160Member
    deadgiveaway wrote on 03 March 2012 - 11:46 PM:

    I received a message that is very similar to something that was brought up earlier in this thread. Someone messaged me to state that he saw I visited his profile but haven't responded to his message, and that he is open to any feedback why. I really think that my personal preferences are none of his business, so I simply replied to that with "Hi, I don't respond if I am not interested in dating the message sender. Thanks for your understanding :)" and then he replied:

    "Duh!? I can deduct that, I was asking why you're not interested, if there was anything that stuck out. It seems to be a trend with asian women that I'm not white enough, wondering if there was anything else to it. Thanks anyways."

    I definitely consider this pestering, and he shouldn't be taking out his frustration on me by making unfounded assumptions. Not only can I NOT speak for most Asian women, but also there is nothing in my profile that suggests I favor white guys. I responded with something similar to dchu's statement above, then blocked the guy. Stuff like this makes me sick of online dating, but there are people like this everywhere, whether on the internet or IRL.

    lol wow. The way that's worded and some earlier posts in this thread about "not being white enough" make me wonder if there isn't some overlap...
  • hisharihishari Posts: 1,779Member

    IDOL

    dchu wrote on 04 March 2012 - 07:50 PM:

    lol wow. The way that's worded and some earlier posts in this thread about "not being white enough" make me wonder if there isn't some overlap...


    Prob the same OKcupid troll.
  • deadgiveawaydeadgiveaway Southern CaliforniaPosts: 535Member
    I did sense the striking similarity so I decided to share. Haha. Guess some people just feel the need to latch onto excuses.
  • fat pebblesfat pebbles Posts: 6Member
    hey so what's the general rule about going on multiple 'dates' with different people?

    meaning one week you go somewhere with girl 1 and then the next week you go somewhere with girl 2, then the week after girl 1.

    You haven't really established bf/gf material but I just want a general consensus

    thanks soompeople
    f0reveralways
  • dchudchu Bay AreaPosts: 160Member
    fat pebbles wrote on 06 March 2012 - 09:54 AM:

    hey so what's the general rule about going on multiple 'dates' with different people?

    meaning one week you go somewhere with girl 1 and then the next week you go somewhere with girl 2, then the week after girl 1.

    You haven't really established bf/gf material but I just want a general consensus

    thanks soompeople

    I'm kind of facing this problem myself. My own gut instinct (and input from friends) tells me you can keep your mouth shut until you have the "So... are we exclusive?" talk or start have sex with someone (for those with safety concerns). But people's tolerance for it are going to vary wildly, so I don't know there's any hard and fast rule
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0

    IDOL

    The user and all related content has been deleted.

  • fat pebblesfat pebbles Posts: 6Member
    edited March 2012
    dchu wrote on 06 March 2012 - 10:13 AM:

    I'm kind of facing this problem myself. My own gut instinct (and input from friends) tells me you can keep your mouth shut until you have the "So... are we exclusive?" talk or start have sex with someone (for those with safety concerns). But people's tolerance for it are going to vary wildly, so I don't know there's any hard and fast rule


    one side of me is thinking you want to take each person seriously and not as if you are shopping for a car you know?

    but then obviously everyone wants what's best for themself so you want to see what else could be out there and 'test the waters' with different people.
    well i'm glad to see there isn't something morally wrong or or potentially damaging to the other person.

    I guess if you get asked the question you gotta come clean and decide from there the next step..
  • LieLie I'm #1 Posts: 3,157Moderator

    MODERATOR

    edited March 2012
    ^I guess it does depend on the person. I haven't done the online dating thing, so there may be different rules there--but in general, if I was encountering the situation I would definitely tell both girls and let them decide if they wanted to continue seeing me from there. I would prefer being told if the opposite was the case; mostly because I just wouldn't want to start investing myself in someone who was seeing someone else at the same time, I would prefer not to bother. But that's my personal philosophy, I obviously don't think it applies to everyone.

    I do think the cornerstone of developing a healthy relationship with someone is being forthcoming with them, even if they wouldn't think to ask. What happens if you end up dating them, getting serious, and then a friend or someone mentions off-hand, "Oh hey, who was that girl I saw you out with last March?" The girl you're with says to herself, "He was dating someone else in March? That's when we started dating." To some it wouldn't be a big deal at all since you just started dating, to others they might feel completely betrayed by the fact that you never told them. It's an extreme hypothetical, but hopefully you get my point--stranger things happen. Food for thought is all.
  • dchudchu Bay AreaPosts: 160Member
    fat pebbles wrote on 06 March 2012 - 10:56 AM:

    one side of me is thinking you want to take each person seriously and not as if you are shopping for a car you know?

    but then obviously everyone wants what's best for themself so you want to see what else could be out there and 'test the waters' with different people.
    well i'm glad to see there isn't something morally wrong or or potentially damaging to the other person.

    I guess if you get asked the question you gotta come clean and decide from there the next step..

    Here's the thing, that's what I feel comfortable with, but this whole dating multiple people is newly forged territory for me. And I'm sure there are plenty of girls out there who would feel terribly led on if a guy went out with 2-3 dates with them, maybe had a first kiss, and then ended up with another girl a week later. So don't take my word as gospel, by any means.
    f0reveralways
  • kangta26kangta26 Posts: 276Member

    ROOKIE

    DCHU.. my profile is complete.. please critique once more..  ph34r.gif it's not the greatest, but i think i'm happy with what it says, and it feels honest to me..


    btw I just realized how superficial females can be.. maybe even more so than guys??.. i used what ever pics i had on my computer from long ago, and as i changed from different pics on my profile, the number of visitors would change.. its just funny.. i think guys usually get a bad rep. for being superficially, but women are just as guilty.. shame on you women! @_@.. well now at least i have a current pic up.. 
  • Sherlock_MowgSherlock_Mowg Soompi's Detective Posts: 450Member

    IDOL

    kangta26 wrote on 07 March 2012 - 04:29 AM:

    DCHU.. my profile is complete.. please critique once more..  *quoted image* it's not the greatest, but i think i'm happy with what it says, and it feels honest to me.. 


    I'll give it a shot, although I think you'll get the best results from the many females of Soompi, as opposed to us men. You've probably noticed a moggyesh checking your profile, that's a-me! But yeah, don't take my page as a lesson, it's pretty much designed to get as least attention as possible. I pretty much only made it to snoop around.

    Anyways, about your profile:

    Self Summary

    I don't see any problems with it, it's not samey or conventional so that's a plus point. I remember before you used to have "I do not have a criminal record", which made it sound like you were applying for a job. So right now it's definitely much better.

    What I'm doing...

    Seems pretty good, your bit at the end was a nice touch (about not being boring in reality) the only critique I can give is grammar, you could probably go over it and capitalise the possessive "i" - but that's up to you, if you don't quite fancy a woman who would notice these grammar mistakes then just leave them be, but if you're interested in cleaning up your profile a bit, just do another proof-read (the 2nd to last line has just a 'w' instead of a 'with').

    I'm really good at...

    C'mon man, there's gotta be more than that! I get the humorous touch of it and all, but you could say some genuine shizz at the start then delve into the absurd at the end. You're a physical therapist right? So I'm assuming you're not too shabby with giving out massages? That could be something that'll get those lovely women viewing your page a little bit hot and flustered.

    The first thing people notice

    To be honest, I don't really get this question either.

    Favourite Books, Movies etc.

    This bit's alright, you seem a little bit obsessive over Fight-Club though. I mean, maybe you want a message from some chick saying, "I looove fight-club too!" and then you two's would totally hit it off. But you could easily maintain that 'Fight Club' connection even if you tone it down a bit, and at the same time you may not appear as obsessive about it to other chicks that are indifferent with FC.

    It's good that you're honest about not reading books, but are you open to it? If you are, you should probably change it a bit to make it sound like you generally don't read books at all but if someone absolutely recommends something to you, you're willing to be open about it and at least give it a shot. If that's totally untrue, if you still wouldn't read a book even if a potential date recommended it, then obviously don't put it in.

    I get the comment about thinking books are boring, I used to think that too, but since literature is a mandatory subject in my course I've been thoroughly enjoying it (I started the course having only read like 3 books in my life, one of them being the BFG). The thing is, imagine going across some chick's page and she wrote "to be honest, I find film and music boring" - you would totally think 'WHAT THE john tesh?!" there's so many different genres of films and music out there it just seems foolish to write-off a whole medium as "boring". The same could be said of Books, there's so much out there that if you did give it a shot (maybe starting off with something easy and not Ulysses by James Joyce) you will most likely enjoy it. So the point it, be honest about not reading books, but if you think you're open to it, then show them that you're not stubborn. There might be a lovely woman out there who enjoys film, music and books but may be put off by your lack of openness regarding her favourite medium.

    The Rest of the stuff...

    I won't go into detail about this, I doubt most people get that far. The only problem I think I have is where you admit kissing your dogs on the lips - now, I totally appreciate the honesty here, you're a brave soldier, son! But I really think it's in your best interest to leave that out. Obviously honesty is key, but there really isn't anywhere on this page where it's necessary to put that kind of info my good man! Now, maybe you're thinking chicks will dig that and find it cute, and to be honest I have no idea (hence why I think its best if a bunch of female's critiqued your page) and maybe you're right - but I just have a gut feeling that could be quite the turn-off.


    Other than that, I reckons your page is pretty good, a definite improvement over what you had before. Just needs one more look over and it could be pretty darn 101% sexy. Now, I'm absolutely no expert on this field, I've never made an online dating thingy until now and perhaps my advice has been amazingly rubbish - but that's just my small input. Others may have a lot more to say or disagree with me on some parts, so don't be hasty with the changes.
  • x-serendipity-xx-serendipity-x Posts: 192Member

    ROOKIE

    edited March 2012
    ....so I guess it's wrong if I were to go on a (very casual) date with 20 different guys from the site then? I AM a very committed person when in a relationship, but I thought that I should give more people an initial chance these days. Of course, if I don't feel it, then I'll make it clear to them and won't lead anyone on...
    FotoFlexer_Photo-1.jpg
  • NaughtyDogNaughtyDog &rea Posts: 2,994Member

    IDOL

    edited March 2012
    x-serendipity-x wrote on 10 March 2012 - 02:04 PM:

    ....so I guess it's wrong if I were to go on a (very casual) date with 20 different guys from the site then? I AM a very committed person when in a relationship, but I thought that I should give more people an initial chance these days. Of course, if I don't feel it, then I'll make it clear to them and won't lead anyone on...


    I think it ultimately depends on how open and accepting whomever you choose to be with is. Though I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing that you're dating that many people, I think that you should be ready to get some backlash when the topic comes up because it isn't something that everyone will take well. How would you feel if you heard that someone you're quite interested in is seeing 19 other girls at the same time? I don't know about you, but I would immediately be turned off no matter how committed he says he is in relationships. Like Lie said, this is something I would disclose right away and leave it up to the other person whether they want to continue dating or not because things may get serious, and finding out that your serious girlfriend of x amount of time was actually dating 19 other guys while dating you can and will do some serious damage.

    I guess the beauty of online dating (especially if you're a girl) is that you get your pick of people and nothing is set in stone. While I do think it's great that you're keeping an open mind about the guys you're dating, I do think 20 is way too high of a number. I don't think that online dating is really different from dating someone in person in the respect that I really wouldn't go on a date with someone I met from online that I only feel lukewarm about the same way I wouldn't go on a date with someone I met in person that I only feel lukewarm about either. Why not just stick with the profiles that really stand out to you and the guys you really seem to click with online?

    P.S. - Just curious, how did you go from never wanting to online date again to ending up dating 20 guys?
  • cojuliecojulie Posts: 4Member
    kangta26 wrote on 21 February 2012 - 07:46 PM:

    i'm too embarassed to tell my buddies i joined online dating @_@...


    There's nothing to be embarrassed about.  Honestly when I first signed up for online dating, I felt that way too.  As a decently attractive female, I almost felt that I was lowering my own standards by having to go online.  And I felt almost everyone trying to contact me was desperate or creepy (it seems like an overwhelming majority still are but there are some good ones).  But as you get older, work becomes priority and we don't always have time to meet new people.  At least, that's how it was for me.  I got tired of the bar/club scene because you can't meet any serious people out there, and all the people I did meet were friends of friends whom have dated someone I already know (I'm not down for sloppy seconds).  Online dating was the only way I could meet someone relatively new.  Sure when I first told my friends, they heckled at me but as they all reach their 30's (I'm 26), they're starting wonder if they should give it a go too so don't be ashamed.  I bet they're doing it too (and they just haven't told you).
    f0reveralwaysvintageousXenosbioZ
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