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I cheated on my girlfriend

HeRo__HeRo__ Posts: 60Member
edited January 2012 in love & relationships
I don't have any particular questions to ask....all I want to do is confess here. So about 2 months ago, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She was jealous about my female friends texting me and posting comments on my facebook. Basically she doesn't want me to have any female friends. She doesn't hang out with any other guys by the way. Actually I'm fine with her having guy friends, but she says there's no need to since she has a boyfriend (me), so she expects me to do the same. Anyways because of the fight, she was ignoring me.

Then one day my ex-gf randomly texted me asking if I wanted to hangout because she's in town. I haven't seen or contacted her in a long time since she broke up with me, so I decided to meet up with her for dinner. I was going to call and tell my gf about it, but she ignored my call. So during dinner we just chatted normally. I didn't mention that I currently have a gf because she never asked and there wasn't a good opportunity to bring it up. Afterwards I drove her home, but before she got off the car she leaned in and kissed my cheek. I was stunned and didn't know what to do. Then she leaned in again and kissed me on the lips. We started making out and she asked if I wanted to go in her apartment. I couldn't think clearly.....so I went inside and we slept together. It was a one night stand. We didn't talk about it afterwards and just carried on normally without contacting each other.

My gf and I made up later, but I didn't tell her about this incident with my ex. If I don't tell her, there's no way she can find out either. So you can say I'm safe. Things were really good with my gf for awhile...until recently when I had lunch with my gf and her friend. It was the first time meeting this friend, so I was asking her questions. When she left, my gf got pissed and said that I was talking to her friend more than to her. So we got into a fight again. I blurted out that this is getting old and we should just break up. My gf got really shocked and tried to hold back tears. I felt horrible and began comforting her by trying to give her a hug. She pushed me away and ran outside. So I got up and chases after her. I caught up to her and hugged her but she kept yelling at me to go away. She calmed down and I asked if I can have another chance. After pausing for a long time, she said I don't know. I comforted her some more and finally she said okay.

Things are going well again. But I have been thinking a lot today and I think she's not the one for me. If I truly loved her, I wouldn't have cheated on her with my ex. If I truly cared about her, I wouldn't be replying to my female friend's text and messages. And if I truly liked only her, I wouldn't enjoy the attention that other girls give me. Or maybe I'm not ready to settle down? I still check out other girls and like their attention. I don't mean to be vain, but I'm good looking. And my current girlfriend is average..maybe a bit below average in looks. I think she's so clingy and jealous because she's worried I might fall for someone else. She thinks I'm out of her league, so she gets worried a lot. Honestly, her physical appearance is very different from the girls I used to date. I know I'm such a bad guy, but my ex was much prettier than her. My gf's personality is better though. But now that we argue so much, I'm starting to feel like she's too controlling for me. Our personalities are quite different too. She's smart and likes to study and someday will become a doctor. Whereas, I'm not good in school and I don't know what I want to do with my life yet. So sometimes we have these awkward silences because we run out of things to say.

Also I know I shouldn't compare, but when I see my friend's girlfriend...I can't help but think how much prettier she is compared to mine. But my friend is more good looking than me. No homo. It just makes me jealous how his girl is so pretty. I know appearance is not everything, but even my friends tease me how my current gf is below my ex appearance wise. Actually, I don't even know why I'm trying so hard to maintain this relationship. Sometimes I just want to end it, other times I think about all our happy memories and I just can't let go. And my gf threaten to break up with me 2 times in the past because she was tired of me being so close to other girls. But I don't know why I continued to put in effort to keep her and win her back.Thanks for reading. Good bye.
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Replies

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0

    IDOL

    edited January 2012
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0

    IDOL

    edited January 2012
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • futabasanfutabasan Posts: 7Member
    HaplessChild wrote on 06 January 2012 - 10:15 AM:

    Rather than assume he's a horrible person, maybe take into account that her being clingy is pushing him away.


    Even if she is clingy, it's probably because she likes him a lot. A so-called "clingy" person does not deserve what he did to her. And cheaters in my book are horrible people, sorry - Maybe not for you.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0

    IDOL

    edited January 2012
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • NaughtyDogNaughtyDog &rea Posts: 2,994Member

    IDOL

    Your girlfriend was very clingy, she would constantly call you, text you, ask where you are, who you're with, and told you to stop 'flirting' and hanging out with girls, but those things do not in any way give you a green light to cheat on her.

    The best thing to do would have been to talk to her about being more open and trusting or even compromising on those things, but instead you chose to confirm all the fears and insecurities she had with you.

    One day you'll realize that looks aren't everything. Grow up.
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  • pink_chocolatepink_chocolate Posts: 373Member

    IDOL

    Yup, kind of agree. Even though you have your own reasons why, cheating is still cheating. That shows unfaithfulness and lessens your reputations. If you just broke up with her because she was clingy or how she treated you, that will be a good enough reason. That does not mean seeking comfort from another woman because your current girlfriend wasn't the one. If that was so, it was the proper way to end everything before you find a new girl. The end result is that everyone will assume you're the bad person, not her.
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  • zoomlo85zoomlo85 Posts: 253Member
    edited January 2012
    I love Haplesschild response, very precise and to the point.
    Clingy girls turn me off, they are a annoying bunch.
    You may enjoy the attention for a while, but it doesnt build my respect it turns me off.



    Also looks are good because that is what makes us guys attracted to a woman initially, BUT if you're looking for something long term personality is far important IMO. Hey a average girl can fix herself up too to make herself more attractive, but personality is not something money can buy.
    melaniie
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0

    IDOL

    edited January 2012
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • SunniRiseSunniRise Someone... feed me. Baker StreetPosts: 3,293Member

    SUPERSTAR

    futabasan wrote on 07 January 2012 - 12:18 AM:

    Even if she is clingy, it's probably because she likes him a lot. A so-called "clingy" person does not deserve what he did to her. And cheaters in my book are horrible people, sorry - Maybe not for you.


    I have been cheated on countless times but that never meant they were horrible. I don't even hold a grudge on them anymore. In fact I'm so happy they did all that and came clean about it because it meant they weren't for me. Nothing justifies cheating but humans make mistakes. If you feel horrible about it then at least you repented about it.

    I think this girl is not for you. I don't applaud you cheating on her but I will if you man up and be honest with her about it.
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  • WhitegataWhitegata Posts: 132Member

    ROOKIE

    I've found three main points/problems/whatever you want to call it: sleep.gif
    1. Your girlfriend is being extremely insecure and immature, which leads to a forced relationshi between you.
    2.You're clearly not ready to settle down.
    3. You just cheated on your girlfriend, which means that a) she might not be the one B) you must be really cruel and coldhearted to do that and still be able to look her in the eyes.

    Conclusion:
    Break up.

    ^ That is, if you can't somehow fix problem 1, ignore problem 2 and undo problem 3.
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  • Malice_KaiserMalice_Kaiser The Real ? Posts: 12,072Member

    IDOL

    edited January 2012
    Cheating does not necessarily make you a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes. But not owning up to it and then stringing along a girl you are hardly attracted to is pretty bad. OP, if you loved or even liked your girlfriend enough, things like her attractiveness would not even be a question in your mind. You two aren't meant for each other, and it seems like you are not ready for commitment in general. Please, for her sake, end the relationship. She deserves better than this. I'm not saying you are a bad guy, but you seem like you have a lot of maturing to do before you enter the kind of relationship that she seems to be looking for.
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  • mintcrackermintcracker Posts: 7,279Member

    IDOL

    edited January 2012
    Woah someone has impulse control problems lol -_-. Yeah tell the gf and break up with her.For her sake and yours. You just don't want to settle down. It's really nothing to do with how average she looks or how great you look, it's just your inability to commit at the moment.
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  • KujoKujo Posts: 59Member
    Look you don't even want to be in that relationship. Just break it off.

    But you should apologize for cheating. Obviously that's not easy but you owe it to her, no matter how much you don't like her.
    cherry_flip
  • nana544nana544 Posts: 10,252Member

    SUPERSTAR

    Tell her you cheated and broke it off with her. It sounds like you don't even want to be with her--maybe she is just a rebound to you.

  • GIBBERGIBBLETS;GIBBERGIBBLETS; GLEEK Posts: 2,761Member
    edited January 2012
    just end it already. it's clear that things aren't working out and maybe let both you and her take some time for yourself.
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  • adiavoyadiavoy Posts: 2,281Member

    IDOL

    Hey... hey... HEY. Just break up with her and stop wasting her damn time (not to mention yours).
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  • AnGeLuNdErSkieSAnGeLuNdErSkieS Posts: 3Member
    Just because she was clingy does not give you any excuse to cheat on her. Tell her the truth and just end the relationship. It'll be for the best of both of you since you seem to be in a point in your life in which you are not ready to commit to a serious relationship.
    kiray21cherry_fliplullerbyerawr_sheila
  • happybubblehappybubble Posts: 553Member

    IDOL

    Gonna say this too. Admit that you cheated and BREAK UP with her -_- 
    find the one who makes your heart smile :)

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