Why Pretty Girls Date Average Looking Guys (Or Ugly Guys)

I notice this just about every day. Every time I go to a grocery store, a cafe, anywhere really, anytime I see a pretty girl, 9 times out of 10, the guy she is with is either average looking, or below average looking. He may be noticeably short, or noticeably fat, or both short and fat. Greasy hair, poor or nonexistent fashion sense, or just flat out looks like a bum.

Even though I work out, have a nice body, nice clothes, nice car, am polite, good job, I have a hard time getting the prettiest girls to date me. This used to frustrate me and still does. I think what is happening is that girls want to be in a relationship, and the best way of insuring that she stay in one, is to find a guy who she thinks is GRATEFUL to be with her. That means, a guy who is not so good looking, and therefore (she believes) less likely to cheat on her.

In the meantime, guys who she thinks have A LOT of dating options (because of good looks, for example) are almost frowned upon by beautiful girls because they fear these guys will bring the drama, cheat, or dump her for a better looking girl.

Also, there have been times where I have been really nervous because I thought a girl was very beautiful, so I know what these girls are feeling.

Anyway, while it is frustrating to see beautiful girls choosing ugly guys, broke guys and abusive guys as boyfriends, at least I have a better sense of why.

Yea... I don't think so bud. Keep searchin though, you might find the answer where you least expected it.

Personality check?

Who cares if you are fit, have nice car, good job. If you are a jerk to girls, no women would want to date you.

i personally disagree with your assumption that girls date guys who they believe would be grateful to be with them. appearance is not a priority for girls when choosing their mates. they're more likely after security (financial or safety). girls like confident (not arrogant) and approachable guys. so those guys may lack physical appearance, but they probably have other characteristics that attract girls. seems like you need to do some self reflections and see what your flaws are that may not attract girls. you mentioned that you "have a hard time getting the prettiest girls." i think that's where your problem lies. you can try aiming for a pretty girl, not the prettiest girl (unless you're brad pitt or ryan reynolds of course).

Do you choose a car, because it looks the hottest? no. It has to be able to perform. (no i don't mean sexually. pervert.)

I notice this just about every day. Every time I go to a grocery store, a cafe, anywhere really, anytime I see a pretty girl, 9 times out of 10, the guy she is with is either average looking, or below average looking. He may be noticeably short, or noticeably fat, or both short and fat. Greasy hair, poor or nonexistent fashion sense, or just flat out looks like a bum.

Even though I work out, have a nice body, nice clothes, nice car, am polite, good job, I have a hard time getting the prettiest girls to date me. This used to frustrate me and still does. I think what is happening is that girls want to be in a relationship, and the best way of insuring that she stay in one, is to find a guy who she thinks is GRATEFUL to be with her. That means, a guy who is not so good looking, and therefore (she believes) less likely to cheat on her.

In the meantime, guys who she thinks have A LOT of dating options (because of good looks, for example) are almost frowned upon by beautiful girls because they fear these guys will bring the drama, cheat, or dump her for a better looking girl.

Also, there have been times where I have been really nervous because I thought a girl was very beautiful, so I know what these girls are feeling.

Anyway, while it is frustrating to see beautiful girls choosing ugly guys, broke guys and abusive guys as boyfriends, at least I have a better sense of why.

this kinda reminds me of The Fox and the Grapes fable:

(source: wikipedia)

Driven by hunger, a fox tried to reach some grapes hanging high on the vine but was unable to, although he leaped with all his strength. As he went away, the fox remarked, 'Oh, you aren't even ripe yet! I don't need any sour grapes.'

People who speak disparagingly of things that they cannot attain would do well to apply this story to themselves.

we tend to create our own rationalizations to make sense of the observations that we cannot understand. a sort of coping mechanism, if you will (like the fox did with the grapes he couldn't reach/obtain).

i think ur jus jealous?

Maybe they think you're vain and superficial (actually, I'm pretty sure that's it). You boast about your looks and material wealth, which isn't very modest. And you insult other guys by pointing out their flaws when you don't know anything about them.

...But hey, at the end of the day, us "average" guys go home with the girl. ;]

You sound genuinely frustrated, so I'll spare you another "you're just jealous/insecure/rationalizing" lecture.

And I feel ya. I mean who hasn't spotted a couple walking on the street before and thought, "woah, why is he/she out with that person? They could do better ...like with me".

Personally, I would assume it has to do more with personality match then security issues. I don't think a girl would mind dating someone who is attractive, but dating someone who knows that they are attractive, which you sound like, is a different story.

A high confidence level can be pretty intimidating. Try toning it down? Maybe take the bum look you are seeing out for a spin?

But if you don't want to lower your personal standards, you will just have to wait for a girl that has the same amount of confidence and self-esteem that you have. Good luck.

ya know maybe those guys dun look bad, its just that u think ur so good that u look down on them.

but u do make a point, the prettiest girls at my uni have the most non-fashionable and normal looking bf.

i think girls are less shallow

they are more after security... like money/ good job/ emotional support

often 'ugly' guys have these qualities...

ermm i think a lot of hot guys... girls feel insecure.. like they think that they may leave them for another girl...

but when they wit a less attractive guy.. they kno they are hot.. and maybe more secure that the guy wont leave them.. as in too good to give up??

plus hot guys are associated with having lots of gals after them

n they more the parti type.. hence more dramas..

thats just my opinions

Generally, girls are more bothered about personality than looks. That's not to say looks carry no weight at all, but it's not the most important thing. Guys are very visual and need a partner that they find really physically attractive for it to work. For a girl, as she gets to know a guy, his personality and the way he makes her feel can make him more attractive to her. Similarly a girl can be put right off a physically attractive guy by how he acts and makes her feel, etc. (Also if you give off a vibe of an arrogant player type most sensible girls will run a mile)

Also, for me personally I don't deliberately go looking for a less attractive guy in the hope he will be grateful to be with me, guys may be that logical when it comes to matters of the heart but I'm certainly not I don't choose who I fall for, who I am attracted to. It just happens and I roll with it. :)

personally dating an average guy gives the girl more "secure" feeling and they probably have better personality so no need to be worked up about it.

I think what is happening is that girls want to be in a relationship, and the best way of insuring that she stay in one, is to find a guy who she thinks is GRATEFUL to be with her. That means, a guy who is not so good looking, and therefore (she believes) less likely to cheat on her.

What a horrible analysis. You assume that women don't take into account character when looking for a potential mate, just appearance. Maybe this is why you're single. If all you have to offer are superficial qualities, trust me, women who want a SERIOUS relationship won't be flocking your way.

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To be honest I don't think what you speak is true in two aspects:

1. not all pretty girls date average guys. I think you just see what you want to see to give yourself an excuse as to why you don't have someone you sincerely like yet.

2. you are under the assumption that girls don't date good looking guys because fear of drama. But then you are assuming all girls want some kind of deep relationship with some sort of connection. That is not necessarily true. girls are just as superficial as guys. girls date good looking guys for the looks too.

but what I WILL tell you is that IF a girl is looking for a meaningful relationship, why they would want to date someone who's a level below them, and this applies to all guys & girls:

1. less effort. they don't need to look pretty/dress up all the time to impress the guy.

2. these average guys know what they have and they work harder to keep the girl, not all average/ugly guys are rich/emotionally supportive, but they make the effort TO BE because otherwise they'll have NOTHING to compete.

what I just outlines is of course a misconception by the general female population. because let's be honest, whether you are good looking/ugly, rich/poor, men don't really need a reason to cheat/be a jerk. I've seen plenty of examples where beautiful and wonderful women get cheated on by their less than average husbands because they are "too good for them and the pressure is too much to handle."

Putting all your sweeping assumptions aside, you simply underestimate the value of personality.

I also don't understand the idea of girls dating the more average looking guys out of security. A girl would have to be really, REALLY insecure about herself to go out of her way to choose a guy she knows other girls won't be fighting for, based on looks. Also if you think by doing so you're reducing the risk of your bf running off with another girl, then that doesn't make sense either when it's all about how loyal and trustworthy HE is, and cheaters will come in all shapes and sizes (not just the good-looking ones). So I just don't get the point of deliberately dating someone with sub-par looks, because in that you're making the incredibly broad and unfair assumption that they are somehow "lesser" beings and less desirable to other competitors, and therefore will be a more trustworthy person and provide a happier relationship....????

You can't choose who you fall for.

You can't choose who you fall for.

i like this one.....

Just to be clear OP I think it's perfectly fine the way you think. Maybe its just so damn hard to find an attractive guy other than on T.V. Maybe the girls you see have been rejected and lowered their standards. Maybe the girls have thought you were out of their league. Maybe you need to step up your game and ask out all the girls you consider pretty.Maybe its because you yourself are average because you compare yourself to other ugly-average people. Who knows, just ask the pretty girls in front of their boyfriend how they met or if you prefer, "What's a guy like that doing with a chick like you."