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Have you fallen in love with someone after rejecting them first?

I want to know if it's possible
Hi Guys,

I have this long story, but i'm going to cut it down to it's bare essence. There is this girl who I have loved for a very long time, and twice during that period from then till now, while she said she liked me, she didn't want to be in a relationship, mainly that i was too shy and I should have gotten to know her better, and that she couldn't imagine herself with me.

However, after a lengthy period of time, we're sort of friendly now, and she seems interested in what i'm doing these days, more so than ever before has she asked me about myself. I don't know if im looking too deep into it, but the anniversary of me asking her out is approaching, and i'd thought i'd take another stab at asking her out, but I want to make sure that there are cases out there where guys who had no hope with a girl finally went out with her, and that I'm not fooling myself and humiliating myself again. Thanks everyone
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Replies

  • menotloveyoulongtimemenotloveyoulongtime New YorkPosts: 39Member
    hey dude,
    yes its possible, but did she change her mind? probably no.
    she probably thinks since she rejected u once, you are not interested in being her bf, so she wants your attention back. does that mean she wants u as a bf? hell no.
    shes unconsciously playing games with u. once u ask her out again, it will boost her ego and lose interest in u....again.
    so don't lower urself again. just treat her like u'd treat ur buddy and if she likes you as a bf type, she'll definitely show u signs.
    DomekThe-EntityshadesofseamiwariSorahakoneg-yomszcrystalxoxo_sdbib
  • HUAYHUAY Hi :D Upstate NY -> LA -> NYCPosts: 3,442Friend of Soompi

    IDOL

    HAHAHAHHA T__T I read the title andI started laughing XD..

    Because *_*. I had a close friend.. And then after a while.. >_< I started liking him.. After a whlie though, he figured it out.. And after a while, I confronted him about me liking him.. and in the end he rejected me.. >_<

    Well. After that, we went back to being normal friends, and I was okay with it because he was a good friend to begin with.. and so.. yeah.. But then the last quarter before I went to Korea to study for summer+ year.. I guess we started hanging out more again.. And then... near the end of the school year >_< I started liking him again =X..

    Even though he saw me off at the airport, I didnt end up confessing--Because I was scared. It would be so lame =( to be rejected by the same person twice in a row.. >_<" And so I was like =T.. But when a few days after I got to Korea, I realized.. =( i didn't want to like anyone else >_<... And so I finally got to talk to him a week after I arrived.. and then I confessed again.......... And this time >_< He didn't reject me T_T! And so.. *_* It's been like that for over 5.5 months.. I'm going back to LA in 4 days *_*. After waiting for almost half a year, we'll finally get to be together ^______^.

    Haha but um. o_o. I'm a girl btw.. T__T so it could be differnet haha T_T.. (gg. Why is a girl doing the confessing! haha jaykay.) (but when I get back, he has to the officially-asking out part HAHA *__*) But you know D: I think.. Like.. As long as it doesn't make things awkward (so speculate a bit more).. whether it's humiliating or not.. It could never hurt to try.. Even though I was scared of being rejected AGAIN, I did it.. And even though I was halfway around the world, he didn't reject me--What're the changes? Haha *_*"
    c0lap1nadaprosperitasDaylightfulshadesofseaStarblazerbon
  • C4Y [[Crazy 4 YeongSaeng]]C4Y [[Crazy 4 YeongSaeng]] Jesus taught me to love, not judge. Chi-TownPosts: 802Member
    Yes it is possible.

    My best friend fell in love with me while we were friends. I was just dumped by my first love, and was really heartbroken. When he told me he liked me, I still wasn't over my ex and I wasn't ready for another commitment. So I rejected him many, many, times. But he was very persistent (not in a stalker way) but he continued to chase after me and showed me that he was different from other guys. Eventually (like half a year?) I started to fall for him as well.

    Now I can't see myself without him :]

    But don't be too discouraged if she rejects you again. It's still a possibility. IDK how many times I rejected my current bf until we actually got together. x]
    I am loved ♥
  • angels.disguiseangels.disguise Posts: 1,846Member
    HUAY wrote on 14 December 2010 - 08:16 AM:




    Reading this made me `____________´

    idk dude, after rejecting you twice you still want to go for it?
    well they do say the third time's the charm. Good luck!
    xChristineeexoxo_sdbib
  • BingBong_514BingBong_514 Posts: 284Member
    I openly confessed to a guy once; he rejected me.

    Became very close friends and in the course of that friendship, he had fallen for me.
    However, by that time, I had convinced myself that he will never fall for me for I will never be his type of girl.

    What happened? He ended up losing interest in me and there went our friendship...
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.

    xoxo_sdbib
  • Yuyu&amp;lt;3Yuyu&lt;3 Posts: 822Member
    Ooh yeah my boyfriend was chasing me for three months before we started going out. Confessing once each month and i would say the same thing but then in the end,I finally fell for him after really getting to know him as a person. But I do agree that you should really see how things before asking again
    LUP5m5.png
  • JyumJyum Posts: 322Member
    ask yourself this, is she worth the risk of humiliating yourself again? But also think about this, you can't move forward unless you put yourself in uncomfortable situations
    I write poetry.
  • The-EntityThe-Entity Posts: 959Member
    From personal experience: NO! NOT YET!

    Since it's been a while since you asked her out, she probably feels "safe" enough to be your friend again. This does NOT necessarily mean that she looks to you as a boyfriend. Many girls get quite chummy with their guy friends, seeing them only as their guy friends and not as anything else. This of course gets very confusing for many dudes, and it seems like it is also confusing you.

    Don't do it yet. If you love her that much, wait for a while and really watch her actions and do a LOT of analyzing. Because if she thinks it's finally safe to talk to you again, and you ask her out again, that might push her even farther out.

    Contrary to some comments, she might not be unconsciously playing games with you. Maybe she just really likes you as a friend, but not as a boyfriend, and doesn't want to lose the friendship and is hoping and hoping that you won't like her again so you can be good friends.

    And maybe eventually she'll see that you're someone that she can love too? Who knows. But just go with the flow for now and stay as a friend, don't push it too hard.
    Emerald Snowichinglish
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0

    IDOL

    edited December 2010
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    cookiechong
  • dumasdumas Posts: 843Banned
    you gotta start tricking her, start talking about big dreams and big things, all the time, even if you don't belieive it, she probably will
  • chococolattechococolatte Posts: 59Member
    I guess, kinda sorta.

    My current boyfriend and I were friends for about six months before we actually got together as a couple.  There was always something there between the two of us, but because I was with my ex at the time and he was quite the "bro," we didn't get together until nine months ago.  
  • simplii_forevahsimplii_forevah SydneyPosts: 1,803Member

    IDOL

    It's definitely possible ! My boyfriend was in the exact position. Except, I rejected him more times than she's rejected you :vicx: I just didn't want a boyfriend at that time or anything. Anyways, after a few rejections and heartbreaks, we went on a date and he asked me out AGAIN and I said yes. And you know what? We're still going good more than one year later :) . So what are you waiting for ?! Go ask her now ! :D Gluck !
  • meiming8_1meiming8_1 Posts: 1,097Member
    Sure! Me and my ex were in this position. He really liked me but I didn't like him back (in fact I disliked him, found him annoying) but we became good friends soon after and 3 years later I liked him, he still liked me and we dated for a while :)
    uror, et in vacuo pectore regnat Amor.
  • youyouyouyou Posts: 60Member
    Definitely!
    I have a friend and in the beginning this guy liked her, but she was so oblivious of his feelings towards her, fast forward a few years she likes him, but his oblivious of her feelings ><
    ~
  • HavenInMuseHavenInMuse Posts: 487Member

    IDOL

    @neville_longbottom10: to be honest, you just never know. Yes its possible maybe she has feelings for you now, but maybe it's also like someone else said, its cuz she misses the attention you used to give her. It really depends on a number of reasons for a person to be accepted or rejected...

    Based on personal experience, I have rejected a guy who liked me for years MANY many times...I rejected him because I didn't like how he acted around me (like he tries too hard to show me he cares and it turned me off) and I avoided him so much, as a result I never got to know him. However, fast forward a couple years, we met in college and started to become friends and he's gotten over me. Got to know him real well, and what do u know, I started to fall for him. We dated after that.

    Most recently, my best guy friend fell in love with me. I love him so soo much...as a friend. I can never ever, and I can tell from the bottom of my heart, that he's not the man I'm looking for as a lover. It killed our friendship cuz he can't accept being friends but not lovers. T_T  All girls have a criteria for their ideal man..you either are or arent.

    If u feel pretty sure that u know each other pretty well, that she pretty much understands u, ur personality, etc, and she still didn't pick you, then my guess is you arent her type. I'd at least stay friends, and hang out more first. If your gut feeling tells you that SHE'S probably into YOU now, then I say let her do her thing. She'll try to hint or maybe confess to you. I don't think you need to do anything brazen like confessing to her. Let her do it this time.
    roughmorning1.pngroughmorning2.png
    credit/cake@june

    "In my sky which is my heart, there's a sun which is you" - Master's Sun OST
  • hiswendyhiswendy one of those old soompiers from way back when Posts: 4,309Member

    IDOL

  • FlicksityyFlicksityy AustraliaPosts: 3,235Member

    IDOL

    edited December 2010
    Does she have two ugly step sisters? Or are your families long time rivals against your love?

    If not then no, she wants to own you fool.
  • StarblazerbonStarblazerbon Posts: 1,419Member

    IDOL

    HUAY wrote on 14 December 2010 - 06:16 AM:

    HAHAHAHHA T__T I read the title andI started laughing XD..

    Because *_*. I had a close friend.. And then after a while.. >_< I started liking him.. After a whlie though, he figured it out.. And after a while, I confronted him about me liking him.. and in the end he rejected me.. >_<

    Well. After that, we went back to being normal friends, and I was okay with it because he was a good friend to begin with.. and so.. yeah.. But then the last quarter before I went to Korea to study for summer+ year.. I guess we started hanging out more again.. And then... near the end of the school year >_< I started liking him again =X..

    Even though he saw me off at the airport, I didnt end up confessing--Because I was scared. It would be so lame =( to be rejected by the same person twice in a row.. >_<" And so I was like =T.. But when a few days after I got to Korea, I realized.. =( i didn't want to like anyone else >_<... And so I finally got to talk to him a week after I arrived.. and then I confessed again.......... And this time >_< He didn't reject me T_T! And so.. *_* It's been like that for over 5.5 months.. I'm going back to LA in 4 days *_*. After waiting for almost half a year, we'll finally get to be together ^______^.

    Haha but um. o_o. I'm a girl btw.. T__T so it could be differnet haha T_T..  (gg. Why is a girl doing the confessing! haha jaykay.) (but when I get back, he has to the officially-asking out part HAHA *__*) But you know D: I think.. Like.. As long as it doesn't make things awkward (so speculate a bit more).. whether it's humiliating or not.. It could never hurt to try.. Even though I was scared of being rejected AGAIN, I did it.. And even though I was halfway around the world, he didn't reject me--What're the changes? Haha *_*"


    Guys love it when girls confess!!! You are so damm brave for trying a second time.

    I know I would be up in the nut if a girl confess to me.

    I wish there are more girls like you in the world who actually are not too shy in the rock and can actually stand up and confess.

  • hummingstereohummingstereo Posts: 111Member

    ROOKIE

    I don't know about love because that's such a strong word, but I've definitely liked a guy after I rejected him. But it was a really long time frame from when I rejected him and when I liked him... I guess after a year he got cuter, taller, and more interesting. And we kind of stayed friends after the rejection so I got to know him better as a person.

    But in your situation, I mean, give it some time and if you thinks she's showing you signs maybe you can confront her about it. I don't really know. Good luck!
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