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Dating Someone You Have Nothing In Common With?

P a p e r_C l i pP a p e r_C l i p CanadaPosts: 786Member
edited August 2009 in love & relationships
would you do it?
So I was talking with a couple of friends today and basically this one guy stopped liking someone because he had no common ground with her
I thought that was kind of weird because if you really liked someone you'd try anyways even if you didnt have anything in common

That got me wondering if having things in common necessary for a relationship? Obviously it's a big help and everything, but it could still work even if you had nothing in common right?
One friend was saying how it would be different and interesting cuz in a way, the two people could show each other their different worlds.
On the other hand having nothing in common probably makes things really difficult and it's hard to find things to do, to talk about, etcetc..
But then again they do say opposites attract

So what are your thoughts soompiers?
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Replies

  • x123xx123x Posts: 647Member
    right here... i have pretty much nothing in common with my bf, he just plays games all day, while i'm just a non-gamer. i tried playing their games and i suck and drag the team down, sometimes he gets pissed and angry... i dunno what part of him i'm attracted to really image and yes, it's definitely hard to find things to talk about and other things to do since he can literally sit at home all day and play games. it's quite annoying sometimes.....
  • LieLie I'm #1 Posts: 3,050Moderator

    MODERATOR

    It helps to have things in common, but sometimes I actually prefer hanging out with (and dating) people I have almost nothing in common with. It makes it a learning experience of sorts, and keeps me interested.
  • MannosukeMannosuke Posts: 12,628Member

    SUPERSTAR

    edited August 2009
    I prefer to have many things in common cause I'm lazy and don't want to deal with unnecessary conflict.
  • StephyTStephyT CaliforniaPosts: 1,228Member
    I'd rather have things in common with my boyfriend, cus if we don't have anything in common, we can't really connect as well.
    I also don't want to have EVERYTHING in common. That might actually freak me out. It would be like dating myself and I'd get bored very easily. And with my temper...I don't wanna deal with that! Haha. Feel bad for my boyfriend sometimes knowing he deals with me a lot.
    Anyways, if there's absolutely nothing in common, I don't think it would really work out 100%. Like if I dated some complete rocker that loved to drink, do drugs and party all night - it would SO not work out. There's absolutely NOTHING in common with that type of guy. We may be perfectly good friends, but as a couple? Never.
  • in.sidein.side blackhole-ism. Posts: 669Member
    i actually would. it's a chance to do things you normally wouldn't do.
    and i guess maybe you could discover something you like to do in the process.
    all an experience, i guess. and fun.
  • slowpandaslowpanda Posts: 42Member
    I dated someone I had pretty much nothing in common with for 9 months. This was someone I could never have approached on my own will, I was SO scared of him when I first met him (he was a bad boy). It turns out, there are actually a lot more things, in my opinion, to talk about when you have pretty much nothing in common. It's a good opportunity to learn more about different things. In the end, you learn a lot about each other and you're basically teaching each other about new things. Turns out, my perspective and view on everything is a lot different now, in a good way.. I even ended up liking the same music, foods as him, and still do to this day. You learn a lot from people you have nothing in common with. image
  • dorkafied!dorkafied! meow. CANADA EY. Posts: 4,999Member

    IDOL

    when i first dated my boyfriend we had NOTHING in common,
    but later on we gradually became like one another image
    So i just think it depends on how long it takes for you to become
    familiar with one another? I can't explain myself properly -__-


  • ryanjryanj Posts: 103Member
    edited August 2009
    Having nothing in common what so ever is pretty difficult to cope with, being the situation im in with my current relationship...but we make it work somewhat aha. We're both from opposite worlds but it definitely helps if you're interested in immersing yourself into his/her world. Before dating i've always been interested in korea and learning korean but what i didn't know was k-culture with most girls involved k-pop / k-drama's (somewhat?) aha, so during the beginning of our relationship i realized part of her "world" did involve k-pop / k-drama's which isn't really my cup of tea ahahah. To this day i haven't fully sat down and finished a whole k-drama episode or went through a whole k-pop song unless it was with her but to make our relationship work i've been trying to immerse myself into them and the culture which eventually brought me to soompi. woo.
  • HumiliousHumilious WhereverPosts: 926Member
    i'm doing that right now. i don't have anything in common with my boyfriend but i still love him haha. he's a big tv watcher/videogame player. i'm more of an internet surfer/bookreader. he dresses super nice and has a lot of fashion sense. i just put on whatever's clean and comfortable. he likes hip hop/rap. i like indie/alternative. it is kind of hard sometimes because i can't like... quote from his favorite tv shows... or... buy clothes for him, but it's not really something i notice too often.
    image
  • sixth.sixth. ? Posts: 3,575Member
    i've had some pretty bad experiences with dating guys who i had nothing in common with. but i'm not entirely against it, because i think sometimes it can be a good thing - it's more interesting and you can learn about other stuff as well... provided that their interests are actually somewhat interesting (one guy i dated would only ever talk about cars. every time we went out he'd name out each and every vehicle on the street. ughh it was so annoying.)
  • mz simmonzmz simmonz NYCPosts: 4,103Member
    edited August 2009
    I'm doing that right now.

    In the beginning, I found it cute that "opposites attract"..that even though we both grew up with totally different backgrounds (I'm a city girl, he's a country boy) we were still attracted to each other and had an easy time conversing with each other.

    Well..that novelty is slowwlyyy wearing off. I've been single for a significant amount of time to learn more about myself and what I want in a guy and a relationship...he does not meet those qualifications..it'd be different if we had great chemistry and if I was extremely attracted to him but I'm not..

    We don't have much in common in interests, hobbies, viewpoints, etc and it's come to the point where it hinders our comfort level with each other and date ideas. When you have little or nothing in common with that person..sure you have "stuff" to talk about..but I feel like we don't really click naturally..sure, we're both outgoing enough where we know how to keep the conversation going but it usually just resolves around "stuff"....I can talk about random "stuff" with anybody..I want to talk about everything and anything with my s/o...it's great when you can both laugh until your stomachs hurt over the most trivial thing yet only you two find hilarious..or if the two of you can get excited about watching a tv series together, sing to the same song obnoxiously loud together in the car, both want to try that new restaurant that just opened, wanted to go explore a place you've both never been but have been dying to go to for years, etc...

    He and I..we have very, very little in common..up to the point where some of his interests make me roll my eyes and my interests make his head spin. Also a problem when neither one of us like the other's interests or have no desire in partaking in it. image

    As you can see this "relationship" is on its way to Splitsville.

    I'm not saying I'm against dating someone you don't have anything in common with..but for me, I feel better if I had some things in common with him..and of course..as long as you two really care about each other and like each other.you'll rub off on each other and be willing to try new things and make an effort..if that chemistry/attraction/caring isn't there..well that's just more things to list under the "cons".
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  • KeHAEaKeHAEa Exotic <3 USAPosts: 1,174Friend of Soompi
    I wouldn't - there would be too many complications in deciding what to do and stuff.

    But I mean, it's really hard for 2 people to have NOTHING in common. ;\
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  • mintcrackermintcracker Posts: 7,271Member

    IDOL

    It'll be hard to the convo to flow as well no? And isn't communication and connection like the most important thing in a relationship.
  • LurkettLurkett LouisianaPosts: 172Member
    speaking from personal experience, its way better to have some common ground so that you can build a good relationship.
    so when there's nothing to really talk about you can find something.
    nowadays, if i can't find any common ground, school, hobbies, etc. there's no chance.
  • bonjour tristesse.bonjour tristesse. 가지 마세요. Posts: 7,019Member

    IDOL

    'Opposites attract' as they say but on some cases, its not always something that works. It's hard to date someone that you have absolute no common interest with whatsoever. You're opinions might contradict and to think about what you guys should do together that will be considered fun will be hard. Of course, I agree with you on the fact that if you really liked someone, you'll at least try but sometimes I think that for those who are dating / have dated people that are the opposite of them it really depends on how deep their feelings are for the person.
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  • witcherywitchery ailurophile Sydney~Posts: 5,005Friend of Soompi

    SUPERSTAR

    Personality-wise, I don't think it's good to be too similar. Things I hate about myself, I would hate to see brought up in my significant other. You'd want to be around someone with the positive traits you lack, it's just more inspiring lol. I would feel a lot more negative if I kept on seeing the things I hate about myself in another person. But then...I wouldn't like to be so different to someone that they wouldn't understand my point of view most of the time.
    As for interests, I think they're more important to have in common. It's hard to sustain a convo if you have no idea about the things they're passionate about haha
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  • xindixindi Posts: 1,093Member
    DEFINITELY.. honestly I think that will make things really interesting (:
    plus I like a good debate once in a while, if our differences sway that way haha~

    plus I have always loved the idea of opposites attract!


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  • lala4everlala4ever Washington, U.S.Posts: 531Member
    i think you need to have SOME things in common.
    because if you dated the person who was the complete opposite of you, how well would that work out?
    "you got your whole life ahead of you...and there are many fish crackers in the tomato soup. (:"
  • cheerydumdumcheerydumdum bay area :DPosts: 2,256Member

    IDOL

    as long as we have some common interests, i think i'd be willing to date them. it's true that the differences could make the relationship exciting and interesting, but at the same time, it might make it boring because you don't want to do anything together. i mean, certain things aren't your interests for a reason.
  • chibifish622chibifish622 Diamond Bar // La JollaPosts: 34Member
    Actually opposites don't attract. If two people were completely opposite, they'd just fight all day about different issues. It's best to find someone you like that has a similar mindset as you.

    "Birds of a feather flock together"
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