20+ Love And Relationships Thread

Majah Flavah

post all your inquiries about love and dating here in this thread, as opposed to risking below-par replies from fourteen year olds on what they think you should do about that restraining order of yours. and because i'd much rather help out my fellow 20-somethings with advice right here than to sludge through twenty topics concerning "are you a virgin hee hee" and "this guy smiled at me, does he like me" posts in order to do so.

c'mon, out with your problems! these are one of the few issues where it only gets harder to understand as we grow and age. the entire 20-something community is here to provide you with justified opinions, kind-hearted comforts, and grand possibilities of self-reflection. or a well-placed smart-assed reply, of course.

"all you need is love."

Chiyori

Theres a Love Doctor thread by a guy/girl who gives quite good answers to relationship problems. I think they've started their thread in the usual Love and Relationship section though. Just post your problem and wait for their answer. Which may take a couple days.

http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=28&t=40528

HERMIT

^
LOL.

It's Ken Vs. Ryu, a fellow 20-something giving advice.

Chiyori

yeah well.. they're very good! and thats why i posted the link..not that many people seem to visit this section anyway. might be why they didn't start their thread here.

prequality

QUOTE(Chiyori @ Mar 26 2006, 07:25 PM) »

yeah well.. they're very good! and thats why i posted the link..not that many people seem to visit this section anyway. might be why they didn't start their thread here.

I think that was the point: to limit the thread to ages 20 and above.

k1D3Ck

I dont have any love or relationship experience or a current love situation to post anything juicy...... -___-
Single, bored, 20 year old, korean boy.....going through the daily motions of life....to get through school....all alone......... -__- lol

Naw, i want to find "the one" but eh....one day...i am still young, unlike hermit....

my_love_shy

ok Majah Flavah how about this situation? i can still post here right? or should i go to the link that was posted? i'll come back to see if i can still post here.

Majah Flavah

QUOTE(my_love_shy @ Mar 26 2006, 09:04 PM) »

ok Majah Flavah how about this situation? i can still post here right? or should i go to the link that was posted? i'll come back to see if i can still post here.

of course, Ken vs. Ryu has been MIA for a while anyway. post your problems here!

Tuffcore

QUOTE(Majah Flavah @ Mar 26 2006, 03:27 PM) »

post all your inquiries about love and dating here in this thread, as opposed to risking below-par replies from fourteen year olds on what they think you should do about that restraining order of yours. and because i'd much rather help out my fellow 20-somethings with advice right here than to sludge through twenty topics concerning "are you a virgin hee hee" and "this guy smiled at me, does he like me" posts in order to do so.

c'mon, out with your problems! these are one of the few issues where it only gets harder to understand as we grow and age. the entire 20-something community is here to provide you with justified opinions, kind-hearted comforts, and grand possibilities of self-reflection. or a well-placed smart-assed reply, of course.

"all you need is love."

hmm well okay. I guess i will start.

When I drive a girl home after a nice night out, i usually just give her a kiss or hug inside the car and drop her off and then i go. I watch her go into the house before i drive away but is that still rude? Should i shut off the engine, walk her from my car to her front door and kiss her goodnight there?

Majah Flavah

QUOTE(Tuffcore @ Mar 27 2006, 04:43 AM) »

hmm well okay. I guess i will start.

When I drive a girl home after a nice night out, i usually just give her a kiss or hug inside the car and drop her off and then i go. I watch her go into the house before i drive away but is that still rude? Should i shut off the engine, walk her from my car to her front door and kiss her goodnight there?

it all depends on what your motives are and how well you feel the mood of the night was. if your motives are to continue courting her and you feel as if you did a good job keeping her company for the night, then by all means ASK if you can walk her to the door. asking is a powerful tool at your disposal, since you can gauge how much she's into you from her response. if she says "yeah, that'd be nice" then you're good to go to get a kiss at the door. if she says "it's alright, i'll be fine" then it's fine to give her a kiss or hug in the car and stay seated while she let's herself out.

the whole process of walking the girl to the door has become more past courting tradition than anything else. although it wouldn't be considered rude per say to stay in the car when dropping the girl off at her home, it would be a passive act on your part if your motive was to actively show this girl that you are/were interested.

however, keep these things in mind. if you are not sure that her feelings are being reciprocated back towards you, do not force the issue on walking her to her door. like i said above, asking is key in getting a vague idea of what she wants to get from you at the end of the date, although by no means completely details what she's feeling. if you still feel that you have work to do in terms of garnering her interest, giving a hug in the car and watching her walk herself inside is perfectly fine and is in fact recommended.

ladymac

^ good advice. If a woman likes you then she'll want you to walk her to the door. And if she REALLY likes you, then you might even get an invite to go INSIDE **wink wink nudge nudge**

Chiyori

is it a first date? or after several dates? why not just do it? I'm sure if she doesn't like it you'll be able to tell.. then again, if you've already dated a couple times i'm sure she doesn't think too badly of you.
It seems a bit.. hrm.. unatural if someone asks me "shall i walk you to the door?". If a guy automatically walks out of the car and opens the door for me, I'd be more moved...

hey.. you're already kissing them.. you don't need to ask!!! thats an obvious show of interest!

sometimes walking her to the door, whether you've kissed her of not, could make something happen. Sometimes it's good to give things a little push. she may like you but is too shy, or unsure about your feelings to invite you to her door. I say go with your feelings..

theonecalledy2ckt

i'm bored and procrastinating so here goes...

is it wrong for me to be trying to ask out a girl who is 17? i mean, i'm 20, but it's not like if we went out i'd be out for sex. i really like her because she's a cool laid-back person and she's really cute.

asianguyno2

walking to the door

If from how the date was going you can't tell if she likes you enough for you to walk her to the door then you need more dating help than just the door thing. Assuming things went well you should walk her to the door without exception. It's an easy way to prolong the date and it's much nicer to get a full body hug than one over the center console in a car.

Walking the woman to the door allows you to make bigger and better statements than just passively sitting in the car watching her.

17 year old girl

Honestly, if it's not for sex then why date her? If she's cool and laid back then you don't really need to be dating her to hang out with her. Depending on your states laws then it could be illegal for you to date her if she's under the age of consent. Finally, what is she giving you that a girl your own age couldn't?

Ultimately, the choice is up to you. You obviously think that there's something weird about it otherwise you wouldn't have posted the question. I just think you need to consider this stuff.

theonecalledy2ckt

QUOTE(asianguyno2 @ Mar 28 2006, 01:19 PM) »

17 year old girl

Honestly, if it's not for sex then why date her? If she's cool and laid back then you don't really need to be dating her to hang out with her. Depending on your states laws then it could be illegal for you to date her if she's under the age of consent. Finally, what is she giving you that a girl your own age couldn't?

Ultimately, the choice is up to you. You obviously think that there's something weird about it otherwise you wouldn't have posted the question. I just think you need to consider this stuff.

damn, does everything in the world have to revolve around sex? it's just not an important thing to me. besides which, i'm kind of traditional, so i'd wait till after marriage prolly.

nah, it's just the age thing kinda still is odd to me. but like, i haven't met too many girls out there like her. we both play ddr, and when me and her and our friends hang out, it's always a ton of fun. i really haven't met too many girls my age anyways that i could really think i'd honestly date. i'm a weird person that makes lots of stupid jokes with my friends, and when she's with us, she'll join in the stupidity, which is cool. lol.

Tuffcore

First off, thanks for the advices.

QUOTE(Majah Flavah @ Mar 27 2006, 10:53 AM) »

by all means ASK if you can walk her to the door.

QUOTE(Chiyori @ Mar 28 2006, 06:13 AM) »

It seems a bit.. hrm.. unatural if someone asks me "shall i walk you to the door?".

I tend to agree with Chiyori. Asking for permission to walk a girl to her door sounds like an awkward move.

QUOTE(asianguyno2 @ Mar 28 2006, 10:19 AM) »

Assuming things went well you should walk her to the door without exception. It's an easy way to prolong the date and it's much nicer to get a full body hug than one over the center console in a car.

Walking the woman to the door allows you to make bigger and better statements than just passively sitting in the car watching her.

Truer words have never been spoken before. Points well taken.

QUOTE(ladymac @ Mar 27 2006, 11:29 PM) »

^ good advice. If a woman likes you then she'll want you to walk her to the door. And if she REALLY likes you, then you might even get an invite to go INSIDE **wink wink nudge nudge**

If a guy asks about walking you to your front door, would it make you feel like the guy is unsure of himself? Would it be more powerful if he just did it without asking?

incyphe

QUOTE(theonecalledy2ckt @ Mar 28 2006, 01:32 PM) »

damn, does everything in the world have to revolve around sex? it's just not an important thing to me. besides which, i'm kind of traditional, so i'd wait till after marriage prolly.

nah, it's just the age thing kinda still is odd to me. but like, i haven't met too many girls out there like her. we both play ddr, and when me and her and our friends hang out, it's always a ton of fun. i really haven't met too many girls my age anyways that i could really think i'd honestly date. i'm a weird person that makes lots of stupid jokes with my friends, and when she's with us, she'll join in the stupidity, which is cool. lol.

I'd say just go for it. You're lucky to have found a girl that interests you.

theonecalledy2ckt

QUOTE(incyphe @ Mar 28 2006, 01:57 PM) »

I'd say just go for it. You're lucky to have found a girl that interests you.

hmmm, thanks jung ^^. i really just wanted to get some more feedback first. i do really like her, and i really would like more time to hang with her. you saw her pic prolly when i posted some in the picture forum, right?

asianguyno2

QUOTE(theonecalledy2ckt @ Mar 28 2006, 10:32 AM) »

damn, does everything in the world have to revolve around sex? it's just not an important thing to me. besides which, i'm kind of traditional, so i'd wait till after marriage prolly.

nah, it's just the age thing kinda still is odd to me. but like, i haven't met too many girls out there like her. we both play ddr, and when me and her and our friends hang out, it's always a ton of fun. i really haven't met too many girls my age anyways that i could really think i'd honestly date. i'm a weird person that makes lots of stupid jokes with my friends, and when she's with us, she'll join in the stupidity, which is cool. lol.

Hmm...I think that came out wrong. I meant that you can achieve emotional intimacy without dating her so why do you need to take it to that next step? I didn't mean if you're not banging her then don't bother dating.

HERMIT

QUOTE(theonecalledy2ckt @ Mar 28 2006, 10:32 AM) »

damn, does everything in the world have to revolve around sex? it's just not an important thing to me. besides which, i'm kind of traditional, so i'd wait till after marriage prolly.

QUOTE(asianguyno2 @ Mar 28 2006, 12:19 PM) »

Hmm...I think that came out wrong. I meant that you can achieve emotional intimacy without dating her so why do you need to take it to that next step? I didn't mean if you're not banging her then don't bother dating.

..Maybe it is partly about sex and all Chris wanted was some justification for dating an underaged girl. I say go ahead. Just think of it as making a one year reservation or a "lay"away plan.

theonecalledy2ckt

QUOTE(HERMIT @ Mar 28 2006, 04:17 PM) »

..Maybe it is partly about sex and all Chris wanted was some justification for dating an underaged girl. I say go ahead. Just think of it as making a one year reservation or a "lay"away plan.

lol, i really don't care too much. i mean, if it happens, it happens, but it's not like it's something i'd ever keep trying to get. there other things that are important to me. besides, she's a friend of a friend, and i would never do anything wrong to this girl.