Online cheating

WARNING: This is going to be a long post.
So I was over at my boyfriend of over 3 years' place and discovered he was talking to other girls online. (I was on his computer and I wanted to check my e-mail and his e-mail messages popped up). Some of the messages were on the lines of "let's meet up" or "wow you're hot" etc..When he got out of the shower I immediately confronted him about it. 
BF tried to act dumb at first but eventually I showed him everything I saw. There was a bit of silence. I kind of pushed him away since my first reaction was hurt, anger and disbelief. I finally let him talk to hear his side of the story. He told me that it started a year ago when I was really busy with school. He said it felt as if I didn't want him anymore and that he felt really lonely but it was not excusable. He said he just talked to them and that he never met up with any of them. BF also told me he has never touched anyone else besides me. I have no idea what to trust anymore.
In the past, he confessed to me that he ran into one of his old friends at the mall and that she kissed him and tried to get on top of him but he stopped her from doing so. BF said he didn't know what to do and kind of froze in place. He said that he would improve and that I should make the decision of who he should hang out with until he is able to make good decisions again. I was a bit suspicious but I trusted his story. But after this incident, I asked him what really happened then. He told me he was talking to her and they decided to meet up. She kissed him and got on top of him but he couldn't do it. Of course this made me LIVID. I was angry that he acted dumb when he confronted me about it and now I found out that he lied to me this entire time. BF said that it was going good after that kissing incident at the mall but then he started talking to girls online.
I asked him why he was still talking to other girls even though I visited him 3 weeks ago. BF told me that it started to become a habit. He told me that it was just the idea of going out and doing it that was pleasurable. After all of this I was ready to dump him. It was late so I was planning to make him drive me back home in the morning. But in the morning I couldn't get myself to make that decision yet. I really didn't want to make a rash decision that I may not be able to take back. We both kind of broke down that day. BF started crying, apologizing over and over again. He said he didn't want anyone else but me and that he loves me. He told me he couldn't imagine his life without me and that I was the most important person in his life alongside his dad who he cherishes.
I told him I'll give him one last chance and that if he ever messes up, I won't hesitate to dump him. He agreed and said he will make the relationship work again and work on building back my trust in him again. BF promised that he won't do this anymore and won't even think about it. He deleted his e-mail account that he used to talk to other people in front of me and showed me everything on his computer. He said he won't make me cry anymore and to make sure to remind him of his promise every so often. He's been wanting to Skype with me all the time now and tells me everything about his day and who he's talking to. BF told me he was going to have lunch with a friend who was in his class in high school but he cancelled it because he thought it would make me feel uncomfortable.
 It still kind of hurts thinking about it since it's only been 4 days. I just feel so paranoid now. Whenever he tells me something I don't even know what to trust anymore. It sucks. Sometimes I want to show him how much he hurt me. Sometimes I want to flat out say "We're over". Sometimes I just want us to come out stronger than ever.

So my questions are: Do you think this will eventually work out and that we will rebuild my trust again? Or do you think this is a long shot? Did I make the right decision? What can I do to improve our relationship? What are the next steps?

I know how you feel...But as much as it is hard to do-end it. This has gone on for over a year and instead of owning up he made excuses. His words and tears mean nothing, look at his ACTIONS.

This relationship is over. He will not change and esp since you‘’re in a ldr...No trust no relationship.

Think of it this way， he hid this from you for at least a year. If you didn‘’t see the emails it wouldn‘’t have stopped. And dont think giving him another chance will stop this-he will just hide it better. You‘’ve essentially given him the green light. He has lost the last bit of respect he had for you. WALK AWAY before you get more hurt.

Once you really break someone's trust, it's pretty much gone forever. Even if they have 100% been faithful to you since, you'll always have that doubt in the back of your mind.

I think you already know what you should do

@thesteel what he said is what i have in my mind. forgiveness.... seems like a never ending revenge game.

I think you made the right, strong, and amazing decisions by not being rash, hearing him out, and waiting/contemplating with the situation.
I have a feeling that he means what he said to you. He made some bad judgments with his poor actions but he wants you and only you above anything else. Tell him to talk to you when he's lonely or whatever instead of finding solutions on his own like he did before. As I mentioned in another thread, communication is like the #1 thing. How were you supposed to know what he was going through if he didn't tell you? You're not a mind reader.
I think there's a good chance that things can work out between you two. It's not a 100% chance but it's there. He took immediate actions to show his resolve (by deleting his account, telling you more things than before, etc.).
Yes, trust builds up in millimeters and breaks in meters. It's one of the most fragile things in the world. There are cases when trust is broken permanent. Other times, it's definitely mendable.
I'd say continue to talk things out deeply. Tell him how you feel, continue to learn why he did what he did, understand his actions, his core character, and you'll get a feel if he might do it again or if he's truly serious about you.

I know how you feel.. been there done that. Personally, it's going to be really hard.. you'll be so paranoid and you'll become so controlling which will cause so many fights.. well at least that's what happened to me. 
Honestly though.. it's hard to say whether or not his promise is real.. sometimes it is.. but sometimes  it's only temporary.. my ex bf told me he's changed but like a month later he's back on to it with different accounts so i gave him the ultimatum and told him to pick between me or the other girls he talks to.. You just have to be strong and stay on your ground. make a decision for yourself.. i mean if u wanna keep continuing on.. as i said.. it'll be hard and it will only keep bothering you.. 
What i can advice you.. is to take a break.. it's going to be hard either way.. but tell him you're giving him time to think about what he really wants and at the same time you think for yourself what you really want.. it's just a break.. just take time off from each other then have a big talk after.
btw are u his first? 

Mm, I don't think a break is good. It was kind of what caused him to wander in the first place. Any sort of distance (physical/emotional) in a relationship spells trouble. Solidarity and support might be better. I understand that it's different for everyone.

@silent.dragon - We definitely agreed to communicate more. He told me he'll tell me how he's feeling but I will have to ask him sometimes cause he's not the type to talk about these things. We've been talking it out and I told him how angry I felt. He doesn't know what to do because whatever he does won't prove anything. Thanks for your insight. I knew I was going to get a lot of posts that say leave him but I also wanted to see if there is any hope to recovering this relationship. It's been over 3 years and he's like my best friend.
@karaxi - I don't know. He seems compliant..at least for now. He told me to just tell me if anything makes me uncomfortable and he'll change that. I'm glad there's someone that has had the same experience as me. I mean I'm not glad that happened to you but I'm glad I am not alone. To answer your question, yes I'm his first serious relationship and first at basically everything haha. Thanks for your advice.

OP this happened to me，except on a worser scale and i learnt my lesson. staying with him is really going to be hard. This behaviour will continue to pop up. Which sucks bc u deserveso much more.

Not sure if he'll do the same thing again. Everyone is different. Some fall back into dangerous habits, others actually never turn back.
If you like/love him and want to have the hope and believe in him, give him a 2nd chance to become a better, stronger boyfriend.

Too many chances given to a person who only know to take advantage of them.

I guess you can say I am currently in the same situation as you. Instead of online cheating, he always lies to me when he talks to a girl. Currently, we are working really hard to make things work.
For you, I want you to know that it seems like he really wants to work things out. Yes it is going to be a rough road and yes you will consistently think that he is once again lying to you. If you ever feel like you need reassurance, just tell him how you feel. That way, it keeps both of you in check. Give it time, communicate with each other, talk things out, etc. 
If you know you want to stay with him and want to work things out.. you have to realize sooner or later, you have to let go of what he did to hurt you. That is the only way to get pass this. I'm not saying let it go now, obviously make him gain your trust back. Make him show that he wants to heal the wounds that he has given you. But down the road, you have to realize you have to accept what he has done and look beyond it. You don't need to make that decision now.. you will have to give it some time..
I do hope for the best between you two and things work out. But if you are miserable.. don't force yourself to keep the relationship. You deserve happiness.

Actions are louder than words.

If I were you, I don't care how long we dated----it's over.

If he really loves you, he wouldn't do what he done.

Also, the fact that he makes excuses and put the blame on you----he's not committed.

Hmmm... I find it kind of hard to believe that your BF would let you use his computer if he would have something to hide. That just doesn't sit right with me.

I mean if I have something to hide, I wouldn't even let you use my computer or I would just switch it to a guest account for someone to use.

@Kerriganton OP never stated if she was given permission to use to it or if it even was to her boyfriends knowledge. Or perhaps they both thought nothing of it. 
To the OP, I've been there. I've been the cheater, the cheated on, the girl chatted to, and sister to such a cheater. 
I used to chat with other guys even if I had a boyfriend, because I felt bored and neglected. I didn't think much about it, Bf never asked, and so it never came up. I mostly chatted to an old fling (who happened to be an online cheater as well, but he met up with people) , but I never met up with any of the guys, it was all on the internet. It was still wrong. In the end, I told boyfriend about what happened, what I felt, and we worked it out. The chatting thing only happened for a short while and then lost its appeal, never happened again.
As for being cheated on, the girl chatted to, and my brother. I can say from experience that there's one thing common in all these guys: They never change. I can't say for your boyfriend, I don't know him, and he may really be set on quitting it but I'm speaking from my experience. It's as if it's some sort of addiction they can't quit. They can be given ultimatums by their girlfriends, they say they'll quit, they'll do anything for you for a while, but then they'll fall back into the pattern again. I have a boyfriend, and so when guys talk to me I respond in a friendly way. I try to steer the conversation away from the "you're so hot" stuff but they continue, and it isn't until I purposely talk about relationships that they admit that they have a girlfriend. I ask them what their girlfriend thinks about them chatting to other girls, and they reply with answers that indicates that the girlfriend knows, yet he still continues, and I doubt anyone would like their partner to do such things. I've lost count of how many girlfriends my brother has had, but during this time he's always chatted to other girls. His current girlfriend broke up with him, and he acted exactly like your boyfriend. He cried, said that she's the only one he wants, gave her flowers (he never gives flowers) and all kinds of stuff, but he's back to chatting to girls. 
So what I'm saying is, forgive him at your own risk. Like others have pointed out, they will learn to take advantage of it and just continue. I think, however, it's good that you give him and your relationship another chance just to see if it really works out, because it's possible. But if it happens again, you need to dump him right away, don't even hesitate on it. 

@Kerriganton -- He lets me use his computer. He was going to take a shower so he said I can use it to keep myself entertained.

Fisheyy said: @Kerriganton -- He lets me use his computer. He was going to take a shower so he said I can use it to keep myself entertained.

Kerriganton said: Fisheyy said: @Kerriganton -- He lets me use his computer. He was going to take a shower so he said I can use it to keep myself entertained.

don't waste your time on insecure boys, trust me.. my ex was like this, always trying to have a 'feeling' he replies on attention with other girls if he is 'bored'

don't drag the relationship any longer. Find someone sincere and secure with himself. And make sure u never blame yourself. It's him who has issues.

Im old enough to realize how much time I wasted. I hope you know your worth and ask yourself isn't it better just to find someone who wouldn't play like that in the first place?

That's what happens when people have long distance relationships people get desperate.